Poz and Dating Profiles

[jmupatrick]

Hey everyone. New to living with HIV, diagnosed in September 2017. I'm doing well, all things considered, and I want to get on with my life. I'm single, on OK Cupid and Tinder and the like. I'm wondering if there is a sly way to somehow list "poz" in the profile for people who are poz and poz-friendly to recognize, but not in an entirely obvious way. I've seen [=] before and "treatment as prevention" listed, but that feels clinical to me.

[Wade]

You boys have it way to easy these days...tinder, grinder...lord knows what else.

I had to actually get up off the couch, get dressed and go out and meet one.
You know... conversation, a drink and maybe a little groping...

Now you pick up your phone and order a bottom with a fetish and a pizza for after 

Guess that's life in the fast lane

[Jim Allen]

Why in a sly way?

Did nobody show you the secret handshake yet?

All joking aside I wish you all the best with dating, try not to overthink your status as a concern and get stuck in, or in this case get online.

Jim

[jmupatrick]

Ok, ok. I guess I opened myself up for ridicule. I just thought people in this forum would understand. 

[Wade]

Sorry if it sounded like ridicule, I didn't mean for it to be.

Just teasing you...couldn't help it

Those apps didn't exist when I was your age and neither did smart phones for that matter 

[Jim Allen]

Sorry if you are upset, was not intended. I do think you are taking it a bit too much to heart and our comments are because we do understand somewhat.

We both wish you the best in dating but I do believe you are over complicating / thinking things.

Why do you need to put it on the profile? What do you mean with sly? What is the concern?

Personally I've always just stated on profiles with room that I'm living with HIV but healthy and UD and inculded the concensus statement link. That is because I want that discussion out of the way and I do not care. Take it or leave it approach. It works for me, not for everyone mind you.

For many what I do is overdoing it.

People are dating you not your HIV and hiv has not changed you as a person. You are far more than just your hiv status. The sooner you feel more comfortable with this status and that it does not define you , the better you will get on at dating.

Jim

[CaveyUK]

I'm not on the dating scene, but I remember looking at Ok Cupid once and they have a myriad of questions that people answer which helps to build up the match % rate.

Anyway, you can search on them (I think) and one question is 'Would you ever date someone who is HIV positive?'

I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people (and I am talking women principally here) answered the question either 'Yes' or 'I don't know' rather than 'No'

If you are on that site, it may be worth searching for people who have a starting position that is a bit more open minded, through questions such as that.

[harleymc]

I'm upfront with my profile, that's more to do with protecting myself legally.

The profile effectively documents  that any potential sexual partners that I meet via a dating app have been informed of my HIV status. Win, win.

[den2542]

I hadn't thought of the legal implications if one didn't disclose on a profile. At least there is proof.