Author Topic: Secret Pleasures (Read 6538 times)

Strayboy74 · « **on:** October 04, 2006, 11:48:47 pm »

I'm still shitting like a broken spigot.

But I did indulge in a secret pleasure today.

I grabbed it from the shelf, pretending, at first, not to see what I had grabbed. I then carried it stealthfully to the counter, careful not to let the man at the photo counter to see me. After all, he did see the ENTIRE roll of film (and by the way, nobody uses real film anymore) of photographs from my last trip to Iowa. Based on said roll, I'm certain he must have believed that I was a closet hermaphroditic model sail boat racer, who owned a dilapidated horse barn with an artistic bent.... Did he really need more amunition against me? NO.

I trucked to the counter, passing the man who smelled like cheetos, and the woman whose hair screamed to me the model of the car in which she had woken this morning; I was on a mission.

"NOOOOOO! I do deserve these!!!" I proclaimed, at the woman standing expressionlessly at the counter, as she popped her gum, indifferent to the world I had created. "I have gone to the gym for three days a week for five weeks in a row~!!! I have eaten proteins, protiens, proteins, and proteins... .......and even a couple of well earned carbohydrates!!!" I exhausted. "I deserve just this one..." *suddenly looking sheepish and meager* "..... okay two", referring to the carboydrates, lying lifeless and empty on the counter before me. I then fell forward, drained, empty and defeated.

"That'll be $2.58" she replied, indifferent to my emmy award winning performance, popping her gum all the while.

I digged around in my pocket... the wrong pocket (for dramatic purposes, of course), before switching to the correct pocket, presenting correct change to the penny.

I felt cheated. Hurt. Betrayed. Spied upon by onlookers. But this was the end, I could feel it!

And then, serruptitously, I reached forward, even before the pimply faced 7-11 employee could consider the post-partum drag queen hooker behind me who threw her baby into the garbage before returning to her prom; I grabbed my receipt, and ripped open the plastic containing the oh-so-sweet, nectary, dreamy 1000% sugar and lard center. Yes, although it wasn't fried, I had still managed to find my TWINKIE of TRUTH. There must have been a wet spot in my pants.

*editors note - I'm exhausted just having typed this*

I ate all that was tangible, and then I was left with the best part.... the humidified twinkie against the cardboard that most people so quickly discard, yet is often relished by the homeless who find it crying to them from the bacteria laden trash cans near every convenience store in the northern hemisphere...

Yes, boys and girls, I enjoyed my most secret of pleasures today... the congealed twinkie on the back of the twinkie cardbord inside of the wrapper... think of me the next time you encounter it... after all....

that IS all there is...

-joseph

allopathicholistic · « **Reply #1 on:** October 04, 2006, 11:52:58 pm »

to thine own self be twinkie true!

Regretsafew · « **Reply #2 on:** October 04, 2006, 11:53:07 pm »

TWINKIES ROCK hehe

Sky · « **Reply #3 on:** October 04, 2006, 11:54:44 pm »

I'm partial to King Dons

IzPoz · « **Reply #4 on:** October 05, 2006, 06:46:59 am »

LOL, I haven't had a Twinkie in years! I honestly don't think my daughter knows what they are, and she's 13! LOL

Christine · « **Reply #5 on:** October 05, 2006, 09:27:39 am »

That was a great post!

My guilty pleasure is Little Debbie's Oatmeal Cream pies....hmmm....chemicals and sugar...

Christine

Iggy · « **Reply #6 on:** October 05, 2006, 11:11:27 am »

Robert · « **Reply #7 on:** October 05, 2006, 01:40:44 pm »

-It takes a MAN to fess up to eating a twinkie, I'll give you credit for that.

It must be the weather, the first rain of the season. Yesterday I saw a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup I just had to have. They were 5 for a $1.00 (ouch!). Now I've got 4 of them in the IB. I put them in there because who knows when I'll ever eat another one.

Oh, and Iggy, I'm with you on that one.

robert

Jeff64 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 05, 2006, 03:41:13 pm »

My secret indulgence is eating an entire bag of CHEEZIES-
Unfortunately I have to rely on my Canadian friend to send them to me since they are not available here in the States.

If anyone has not tried them, TRY THEM.
They are as good a sex, even better since you dont have any mess to clean up!

If any of our Canadian members wants to do a good deed for a south of the border guy, please send me cheezies!

wellington · « **Reply #9 on:** October 05, 2006, 04:02:39 pm »

You boys and yer twinks. You ain't a man until you've eaten a Little Debbie! Now wipe that cream off yer chin and git back to the gym

* wellington rejoins his jumbo bag of sour cream and onion crisps and paws the remote for Desperate Housewives.

Moffie65 · « **Reply #10 on:** October 05, 2006, 05:19:22 pm »

Joseph, you swine!!

Personally, I like mine forzen just out of the freezer, and yes, we buy them by the box, as my sweetie has had a twink fettish since youth. Yes bois and gurls, that would be over 50 years so please don't preach..... At least when you buy them by the box, you are only pulling one out to eat instead of the indulgent two that come in the seperate packs.

My favorite is still the orange cupcakes. However, I drown mine in Chocolate syrup.

OK, I will stop, it is time for me to leave this thread....

IN Love and hunger.

Longislander · « **Reply #11 on:** October 05, 2006, 05:24:16 pm »

give me a Ring Ding!

allopathicholistic · « **Reply #12 on:** October 05, 2006, 06:02:10 pm »

Quote from: Longislander on October 05, 2006, 05:24:16 pm

give me a Ring Ding!

as long as you don't add a Suzy Q and a Ho-Ho, or worse yet, the dreaded Sno-Ball

Life · « **Reply #13 on:** October 05, 2006, 06:34:01 pm »

My mind is so fucking in the gutter, I have been waiting for my ADD to chill out on reading this thread cuz anything of any magnatude hurts my brain... All I saw was "Twink" and of course did not relate it to my earily childhoold lunch box experience, but rather that of my queer as fuck phase..

Oh well, very nice... I will buy one just so I can remember what it was like?? Twinkie that this..

Eldon · « **Reply #14 on:** October 05, 2006, 07:04:40 pm »

Hey Joe,

It is a good thing to treat yourself every now and then. What a sensation!

Make the BEST of each Day!

CaptCarl · « **Reply #15 on:** October 05, 2006, 08:20:16 pm »

Twinkies are good, but I'll always be a Suzy-Q person myself[

Longislander · « **Reply #16 on:** October 05, 2006, 09:02:07 pm »

Ho ho's -ok, Suzy-Q and the snowball--way too much, even as a kid

CaptCarl · « **Reply #17 on:** October 05, 2006, 11:50:01 pm »

Back in my early twenties I worked a 70 hour workweek, and Suzy-Q's along with abottle of Jolt cola were the essence of my power diet. Twinkies were'nt big enough for the sugar rush I needed to keep going. In retrospect, speed would have been a better idea.

allopathicholistic · « **Reply #18 on:** October 06, 2006, 12:34:34 am »

Quote from: Eric on October 05, 2006, 06:34:01 pm

My mind is so fucking in the gutter, I have been waiting for my ADD to chill out on reading this thread cuz anything of any magnatude hurts my brain... All I saw was "Twink" and of course did not relate it to my earily childhoold lunch box experience, but rather that of my queer as fuck phase..

Oh well, very nice... I will buy one just so I can remember what it was like?? Twinkie that this..

This is what you need: MORE Godspell, LESS Twinkie-Lust!

Life · « **Reply #19 on:** October 06, 2006, 10:12:30 am »

Alex, thats what my mother keeps telling me... I'm trailer trash..

southernfun · « **Reply #20 on:** October 06, 2006, 02:40:14 pm »

I guess Im lucky I eat anything sweet I want with no regret..Im 6'5 and 230 and have been that way for years..My numbers are good and Im undetectable..I know alot of friends who frown on me eatting honey buns but we will leave him out of this....lol...I also noticed in the nutrition post most avoid this and that. I eat what I want and when...I also work 16 hours aday usually 7 days a week and Im fine health wise..I guess it just depends on the person...Hiv doesnt have me I have HIV and its not who I am its just a very small part of who I am....So if you must eat sweets please wipe your chin

Chris

J.R.E. · « **Reply #21 on:** October 06, 2006, 05:10:11 pm »

I enjoy my twinkies also ! Prefer hostess- cupcakes, wash it down witha reeses peanut butter cup and a ice cold glass of milk !!

Ray

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Author Topic: Secret Pleasures (Read 6538 times)