POZ Community Forums

Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: milker on June 11, 2007, 08:58:45 pm

Title: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 11, 2007, 08:58:45 pm
I don't like Gay Pride, I never related to the people I see parading in the streets, I am not proud of being gay, I'm just gay, it's not an achievement, I'm only proud of things I achieve.

The only Gay Pride that really moved me was in New York City in 1999, for the 30 years of the Stonewall Riots. I was standing in front of the Stonewall bar when the parade stopped and veterans that participated in the riots 30 years before stood up (most were 70-80yo) and an amazing 30 minute applause greeted them. I cried realizing that owed so much to those guys. Those are the ones that can be proud of what they did, and they are the ones we should be celebrating, not me nor you.

What's your take on Gay Pride?

Milker (who has a pink tshirt)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: fondeveau on June 11, 2007, 09:09:37 pm
Its not for what you achieved.  The pride is in not being shamed, ostracized, condemned, and otherwise strangled as a human being, bother figuratively and literally.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 11, 2007, 09:21:29 pm
Matty the Damned made his home in the militant queer movement of the late 80's and early 90's. Most notably with a hardline outfit called Homocult: The Perverters of Culture.

Gay Pride, the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras and all that Stonewall inspired drivel is pap for the moderate lesbigays.

MtD
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: GSOgymrat on June 11, 2007, 09:22:45 pm
I've marched twice. Once was in Seattle, which was like a big party. Once was in Asheville, NC where I grew up. I think it was Asheville's first gay pride march and it was definitely a more nervous atmosphere. There were a lot of religious protesters and angry people. One guy said he was going to get a shotgun and blow my f-ing head off. In Asheville marching was more purposeful. Also in a small place like Asheville people know who you are.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Basquo on June 11, 2007, 09:46:18 pm
I don't like Gay Pride, I never related to the people I see parading in the streets, I am not proud of being gay, I'm just gay, it's not an achievement, I'm only proud of things I achieve.

I'm happy that you've never had to work for it.  For the rest of us, especially here in the South, it's our turn to get our beer-laden faces and uber-hot boyfriends in front of the TV cameras to say "Thank you; You've not killed me for what I am, nor have I killed myself!"

I'm here, I'm queer, now blow me!

 ;)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 11, 2007, 10:35:00 pm
I haven't been to a "Pride" in five years, and that one was quite brief and spent hugging a parking meter for a half hour due.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Ann on June 12, 2007, 06:19:02 am
Its not for what you achieved.  The pride is in not being shamed, ostracized, condemned, and otherwise strangled as a human being, bother figuratively and literally.

That's always been my take on it too. It's the same meaning behind the phrase "positive and proud". It alludes to not living in shame and not allowing others to treat us shamefully.

Ann
(who is not ashamed of being positive)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Mike2008 on June 12, 2007, 11:10:33 am
To me it is just an excuse to party.  Much like Cinco de Mayo or St Patricks day or the Super Bowl.  I don't participate much anymore, but it does not bother me that other people like it.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: pozattitude on June 12, 2007, 11:23:17 am
I think being proud of who you are is very important.  I only wish that the "community" would act like it is pride everyday, not just once a year.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: carousel on June 12, 2007, 12:42:58 pm
It used to be important to me.  Just being surrounded by so many openly gay and lesbians was very emotional.  I can remember the Pet Shop Boys performing on the main stage, fireworks going off and just smiling from ear to ear, with I suppose what you call pride.

Then it became just another chance to party and get wasted.

There hasn't been a proper Pride in London for a few years, it became all too commercial and people trying to make a queer buck.

Brighton on the South Coast still holds an annual free festival and that's just a hoot.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Dan J. on June 12, 2007, 01:15:05 pm
Gay Pride. No thanks. I have never been & I seriously doubt I ever will.

I can just read the headlines now in The Jackson Sun "Queers Take To The Streets!" "Parents Lock Up Your Children!!!"

I only like children when they are slow roasted with a nice garlic sauce on the side. LOL   ::)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 12, 2007, 01:34:32 pm
They have to charge money here in Philadelphia just to attend Pride, just to keep this one very vocal and annoying, protesting local evangelical group called Repent America (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repent_America) out, the members of which were arrested a few years ago and caused this big local media blowout.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: englishgirl on June 12, 2007, 02:15:19 pm
i think that pride has played a huge part in making the general public aware of gay rights and gay issues and made a huge difference to the experience of gay men and women of this generation. i look forward to the day when we have mass 'hiv pride' events and we can make the same difference. for me this sums it all up:
Its not for what you achieved.  The pride is in not being shamed, ostracized, condemned, and otherwise strangled as a human being, bother figuratively and literally.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 12, 2007, 02:23:01 pm
Pride is a powerful narcotic, but it doesn't do much for the auto-immune system.
    Stuart Stevens
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Oceanbeach on June 12, 2007, 08:40:03 pm
I Dunno Milker,

I went to a Pride Festival a few years back.  The Festival was for a town called Ukiah (it was their first) and the event was held in another county.

I loaned my convertible for a parade in Long Beach and the lovely contestant overloaded the rear shocks and they didn't clean the glitter or the feathers out afterward.

I do enjoy the parades and the festivals.  I remember Club OZ with a black limo and two guys wearing leather (who redefined the term "butt ugly").  That car was escorted off the parade route at the first cross street.

I always love the WEHO Cheerleaders.  Thought I wanted to be one once with the big hair, the little skirts, the pom poms and the implants.  I made up a little cheer...
I Sizzle, I Roar... Because I am a Whore...I'm Tacky, I'm Mean... Because I am a Queen... Rah, Rah, Eat me Raw... Yea Team!


Most of all, what I really like about the parades is Dykes On Bikes but... I have been asked to leave a Gay Pride Festival.  Not for kissing a couple hundred men, not for dancing on the pool table at Club Rage and not for wearing my catch me fuck me pearls on Santa Monica Blvd or being filmed with my pants down on the Silver Fox bus.  I had to leave because my BF was laying down on the grass and kissing my hair dresser.  The three of us left together.  Have the best day
Michael
(who has seen the Good, the Bad, and The UGLY) 
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Mouse on June 12, 2007, 09:13:06 pm
I think that sort of stuff is a good excuse to hang out with a bunch of other queers, but generally I don't get too caught up in it.

However, I do find a lot of joy in taking part in those things as long as I can be sure that it's going to disturb someone watching. Probably for the same reason that my boyfriend and I aren't really the hand-holding sort, but we make it a point to do so in a safe environment like the mall where no one will kick the shit out of us but we can horrify some middle aged hetero men or little old ladies. Teenagers can be so mean. =(
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: aztecan on June 12, 2007, 09:54:37 pm
Not being too far removed from the Stonewall generation, I relate very well to Gay Pride.

As others have said, it isn't about what we've achieved, but rather the chance to be open, proud and up front about who we are.

I was involved in some of the first Gay Pride events in Albuquerque back in the mid to late '70s. Back in those days, we ran the risk of being attacked and, at the very least, verbally accosted for being so open about being gay.

Of course, these also were the days when hotel owners would refuse to rent a room to gays and lesbians, apartment owners refused to lease flats, business owners fired employees and medical personal refused to treat people just because they were gay or lesbian.

Of those who are still alive, I know many people, including myself, who were attacked because they were gay. I related one such incident that occurred involving myself on the old forums. I don't think I can do it again at this time, but perhaps some will remember.

I think that is why I have a bit of a different take on being Gay, and on Gay Pride.

I am still very proud. I attend every year and I make sure I cheer everyone.

Besides, who knows. I just might meet someone!  ::) ;)

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 12, 2007, 10:01:30 pm
Of course, these also were the days when hotel owners would refuse to rent a room to gays and lesbians, apartment owners refused to lease flats, business owners fired employees and medical personal refused to treat people just because they were gay or lesbian.

I'm not sure seeing almost naked hairy queens wearing leopard  leather thongs and dancing on It's raining men inside pink 1956 chevrolets is what made the landlords change their minds about gays.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 12, 2007, 10:14:28 pm
Actually, the largest cock of my life was scored at a gay pride, though it was 6am and I'd just left Jay's Hangout, now closed due to gentrification.  He was from LA and a member of the Crips.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 12, 2007, 10:21:36 pm
Actually, the largest cock of my life was scored at a gay pride, though it was 6am and I'd just left Jay's Hangout, now closed due to gentrification.  He was from LA and a member of the Crips.

Without pictures this post means nothing to me.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Carolann on June 12, 2007, 11:59:00 pm
Milker,

I don\'t see what the point is in putting down people who celebrate their personal freedom. I don\'t think that you or anyone has the right to ridicule how gay people choose to express themselves. I went to Los Angeles gay pride this past week-end with my best friend, a wonderful, kind gay man who works with me. It was awesome. Just remember, it was the drag queens who had the balls to stand up to the police at Stonewall, leopard skin and all. Gay people come in all flavors and colors and span the whole spectrum. I love it when people try to differentiate themselved from the \"other\" as if being more feminine makes gay men less human. That is shameful.

Carolann
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 13, 2007, 12:23:32 am
Carolann, what's up with all the "\" in your posts?  Is your keyboard broken?
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Carolann on June 13, 2007, 12:30:09 am
It\'s wireless and it does things like leave out letters. I need to go take it back.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Bucko on June 13, 2007, 12:54:21 am
I used to love Pride in Boston, from the late 70s right through the late 90s. My ex and I also used to attend Montreal's Pride (it's in August) like it was a religious festival. We also made it twice to Toronto's Pride, which is the largest such celebration in the world (well over 1,000,000 participants).

But the most spectacular Pride event had to be Europride in 1997, when they closed down the eastern half of Paris for a parade that ran from Republique to Porte Doree via Bastille. It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime event and I'm glad I went.

Pride here in Ft Lauderdale is pretty anti-climatic as this place is gaygaygay year-round, and it tends to get rained out as this is the rainy season. I went once, yawned, got soaked and left.

But for as long as I've been going, there's been a very un-subtle dig at Pride as Milkie's OP states, and as I've heard all too often. First it was a freak-show of leathermen and drag queens. Then it was too commercial. Then it was so exclusionary that Dyke Marches became all the rage. But to me Pride at its best (and worst) is a big Carninale or Mardi Gras, a free-wheeling good time, a chance to get drunk (like I need one) get laid (ditto) and put all the bigoted straights in town on alert that, although free to rant in the privacy of their own home, we're not to be minimized, ever.

It's the visibility of Pride that so many now take for granted. Like Mark (Aztecan), I remember when attending a Gay Pride parade was a highly provocative act of sicial consequence. And in many smaller places it still is.

So rant about not wishing to be associated with freaks (like you're not...really!) or the hideous overcommercialization all you like. But never forget that without the braze drag queens of the Stonewall riots fame, we'd not have the place in society we do today. No amount of hat-in-hand requests for our civil rights can ever bring about the social change caused by a group of drunken drags mourning the death of Judy Garland...ever.

Brent
(Who is proud to be gay and proud to be poz)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Central79 on June 13, 2007, 06:03:16 am
I guess Pride used to be more important to me than it is now. When I was first coming to terms with my sexuality it played an important part in helping me remove the stigma and shame that I'd grown up with in Dorset. I had the same "ah-ha" moment at Pride that I had when I walked into my first gay bar and was surrounded by people who were the same as me (at least when it came to sexual orientation) and mirrored the "ah ha" I later felt when I fell in love for the first time, and was accepted and cherished for the person I am, rather than the person I projected I was.

There were also things to march for - section 28, which banned teachers from educating pupils about homosexuality, even in the prevention of bullying, was still in force and the age of consent was not equal. Civil partnerships weren't around.

I don't go anymore. I think it's because yes, London's Pride has gotten more commercial and there's less now to march about. I don't just want to go on a walk with ten thousand gay people anymore. But if there was less equality in this country again, I'd be back out there. For now, I think I do my bit for gay rights by being an out gay man - accepted and confronting prejudice where I find it day to day.

M.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 13, 2007, 12:21:58 pm
Milker,

I don\'t see what the point is in putting down people who celebrate their personal freedom. I don\'t think that you or anyone has the right to ridicule how gay people choose to express themselves. I went to Los Angeles gay pride this past week-end with my best friend, a wonderful, kind gay man who works with me. It was awesome. Just remember, it was the drag queens who had the balls to stand up to the police at Stonewall, leopard skin and all. Gay people come in all flavors and colors and span the whole spectrum. I love it when people try to differentiate themselved from the \"other\" as if being more feminine makes gay men less human. That is shameful.

Carolann
Carolann, I'm not trying to ridicule anyone, I just said that I do not relate, and that I did not think showing off in leopard skin was what improved the understanding of the gay life by heterosexual people. I see nothing shameful in expressing an opinion.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: bear60 on June 13, 2007, 12:35:40 pm
Point is: showing off the way you want to is called our freedom.  If your not able to understand that gays and lesbians come in all sizes shapes and colors.....as well as ways of dressing and sexual proclivities....then ok.  But to say..."oh those freaky people are giving gays a bad name" is to show your prejudice and possibly your hypocracy....For insatnace: its ok for staight people to have their freaky dressy parades.... Mardi Gras and here we have the Mummers Parade where straight men wear dresses and wigs and march up Broad Steet on New Years Day.  Oh thats ok ...it doesnt reflect badly on straights. But put a guy in chaps with his ass hanging out and some others in drag and we have something shameful????Please  If gay pride is all about looking just like the Cleavers.....Hey Beaver... then I dont think I am so proud of my fellow gayus anymore.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 13, 2007, 12:56:51 pm
Point taken, bear, but at the end of the day, aren't most of the people watching this in the street on or tv thinking that it was a great day at the zoo? Mardi Gras and other carnivals are not about trying to give a message. Gay Pride was originally a "Gay liberation march", following the Stonewall events. Sure it was more about activism than partying, maybe this is what I miss.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 13, 2007, 01:02:19 pm
But to say..."oh those freaky people are giving gays a bad name" is to show your prejudice and possibly your hypocracy....F

Oh, I agree.  But I do draw the line with NAMBLA!

Here's a new take on Gay Pride! (http://www.towleroad.com/2007/06/gay_pride_in_se.html)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: GSOgymrat on June 13, 2007, 09:34:17 pm
This issue of assimilation versus identity has been going on for a long time. Gays want to be respected be we don't always want to be respectable. Many gays have learned to appreciate being on the fringe of society, of being different and we don't want to lead average lives while some want to have the house, the spouse and the 2.5 kids. I think we all agree that don't like being attacked or disenfranchised. It's a difficult balance.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Carolann on June 13, 2007, 11:16:54 pm
Well,

I do agree with bear that it is hypocritical to be worried about what heteros think proper parade ettiquette is when you have posts in your repertoire where you have numerous dicks in every orafice at a sex club. I mean really. Who should judge you for that? Nobody, if you are not putting anyone at risk and it is your form of expression, pleasure, or whatever you want to call it. Is it that you are gay, maybe not, but some might jump to conclusions. And before you say that it is your right to post your \"honest and frank\" discussions, you should note that all people: heterosexuals, straights, bis...read these threads, and frankly you are noone to talk about proper behavior, what is proper varies in the environment where one is, and a gay pride parade is the proper environment for a diversity of expression. What the overall purpose of gaypride is to show the multitudes, the diversity, and the fact that it exists, and that gays will not continue to give away the rights won by blood spilled, because yes people are still dying for being gay, bi, trans.., and these rights are not a guarantee. So if you don\'t relate, well keep on being nothing more than what most of society thinks is a \"pervert\" who thinks he is above everyone else.

Carolann (who believes in freedom of expression)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 13, 2007, 11:50:53 pm
So if you don\'t relate, well keep on being nothing more than what most of society thinks is a \"pervert\" who thinks he is above everyone else.

Carolann (who believes in freedom of expression)

There is a problem in what you just said. My freedom of expression seems to bother you to the point that i'm thinking I'm above everyone else. Or I didn't get your post.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: aztecan on June 13, 2007, 11:55:26 pm
This issue of assimilation versus identity has been going on for a long time. Gays want to be respected be we don't always want to be respectable. Many gays have learned to appreciate being on the fringe of society, of being different and we don't want to lead average lives while some want to have the house, the spouse and the 2.5 kids. I think we all agree that don't like being attacked or disenfranchised. It's a difficult balance.

This is absolutely true. I personally have little in common with assimilationists. I have no desire to become one of the silent majority, marry a spouse, adopt a child, have the suburban house with the white picket fence, a sheepdog and Tupperware.

But I know some who are perfectly happy that way. More power to them, and I would fight to the death to guarantee their right to live their life that way.

I enjoy the uniqueness of each person, not their similarity. I guess that's why I used to enjoy drag shows on occasion. It isn't something I would want to do, but I can enjoy others enjoying themselves.

When I lived in Santa Monica, Calif., there was an annual festival at Venice Beach during which the Krishnas would pull this big thing down the beach called a juggernaut. Anyone who helped pull it down the beach was supposed to get good karma or good luck, or something like that.

I am not a Krishna, and I don't know if it ever brought me any good luck, but I always loved going to that festival, pulling that juggernaut and just enjoying it for what it was.

I guess that makes me a fringe dweller, but that's OK too. Maybe that's why I cheer everyone at Gay Pride, from the drag queens to the dykes on bikes.

I don't have to identify with them, or even understand them, to appreciate their unique qualities and the extra color it adds to the tapestry of life.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's just me.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: thunter34 on June 13, 2007, 11:58:03 pm
Makes sense to me, Mark.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 14, 2007, 12:02:42 am
This is absolutely true. I personally have little in common with assimilationists. I have no desire to become one of the silent majority, marry a spouse, adopt a child, have the suburban house with the white picket fence, a sheepdog and Tupperware.

But this has nothing to do with being gay or parading about your sexual orientation.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 14, 2007, 12:06:41 am
But this has nothing to do with being gay or parading about your sexual orientation.

MIlkie,

"Parading your sexual orientation?"

WTF? Are you serious? What sort of self loathing closet shit is this?

MtD
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 14, 2007, 12:08:31 am
I didn't get what he meant myself. 
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 14, 2007, 12:10:08 am
But this has nothing to do with being gay or parading about your sexual orientation.

MIlkie,

"Parading your sexual orientation?"

WTF? Are you serious? What sort of self loathing closet shit is this?

MtD
I'm serious. Self loathing closet shit? Let me check the dictionary first. Ok I just did. Answer is "no". Any other question?

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 14, 2007, 12:11:42 am
wat
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 14, 2007, 12:14:39 am
Any other question?

No Milkie. Everything is now abundantly clear.

MtD
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 14, 2007, 12:15:58 am
Any other question?

No Milkie. Everything is now abundantly clear.

MtD
whew!
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 14, 2007, 12:22:06 am
whew!

You've never learned to read between the lines, have ya Milkie?

MtD
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 14, 2007, 12:45:11 am
whew!

You've never learned to read between the lines, have ya Milkie?

MtD
You never learned to read the line, have ya Matty :D

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: thunter34 on June 14, 2007, 12:55:02 am
i guess we can discuss pride's lack of merit once we all feel free to remove our face masks.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: david25luvit on June 16, 2007, 03:52:56 pm
When I came out in the seventies....a gay bar in Pensacola had recently been burned down with all inside
both back and front doors had been locked from the outside and the bar set on fire.  Over a hundred and
some odd homosexuals and their friends perished ....The price some had to pay for our little parade in the
streets was quite high....so yes I am proud that we no longer have to be ashamed or hide our numbers.

Gay Pride.........yeah it means a lot to me!
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: LatinAlexander on June 17, 2007, 01:52:20 pm
I have been at gay pride only once in Europe.. And for me it was AWESOME!. I mean, many people, like me, out, not really giving a f*ck about what other might think. Couples, holding hands, kissing each other, or simply walking hugging each other. It was very nice for me.

I am COMPLETELY respectfull and gratefull of those guys in Stonewall. Last time I visited NYC, I went to the bar, and saw the plate at the entrance of it.. And payed a little prayer for those guys. I do not care what they wear, how feminine they were. I just admire their BALLS on standing up and opening a way for many of us.

Sometimes, when you have a highway, you do not value all those that have built it for you.

Alex

PS: When I went to Stonewall it was under remodelation. Is it over yet?
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Iggy on June 17, 2007, 04:00:44 pm
Being in NYC where there is a parade/festival for every imagined religion, ethnicity, whatever - I see Gay Pride for what it is - Just taking our turn in publicly celebrating ourselves.

Some years it is political and powerful and some years it is irrelevant and playful, but taken for what it is I think it's a wonderful thing,

Frankly I think too many get into a game of semantics over the word "pride" and as a result seem to misunderstand the entire purpose of the event which in my mind is just a reminder to ourselves and others that gay people are part of the culture and want to be recognized as such.

Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 17, 2007, 05:09:00 pm
And remember kids:  Travel Lightly if flying for Pride!

SF Chronicle reports:  The TSA Hates Your Vibrator (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2007/06/14/violetblue.DTL)

You have just as much right to have a dildo in your luggage as you do any personal-care item
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 17, 2007, 05:49:10 pm

Frankly I think too many get into a game of semantics over the word "pride" and as a result seem to misunderstand the entire purpose of the event which in my mind is just a reminder to ourselves and others that gay people are part of the culture and want to be recognized as such.



Thanks Iggy, this is by having open discussions that others (including me) can think about what is bothering them and reflect about it. I think you nailed my biggest problem, which is the word itself, as explained in my first post, the rest being partying, so be it, the fact that I don't relate is actually irrelevant, I just don't go and that's it.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Hard Times on June 18, 2007, 12:33:23 pm
i had a reply ! but  the computer would not let me post it !  i was typing a reply , not a new topic !!!!!
now every thing i typed is gone !!!!!!!!!    DAMIT !!!
simple shit like this pisses me off !!!
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: dtwpuck on June 18, 2007, 07:56:31 pm
Pride Day used to be all about achieving policital and personal freedom. 
Being gay these days is passe.  Kurt cobain said it best:  "What else can i say... everyone is gay."
All I see in Pride Day these days is a chance to buy stuff, get laid, do drugs, party and look at pretty boys.  While I see nothing wrong with having fun ... I just think that there is no point in calling it a protest and would rather call it a party.... one I'd rather bow out of these days.

Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 18, 2007, 08:16:29 pm
getting laid and doing drugs at Pride is NOT a "new development"
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: dtwpuck on June 18, 2007, 08:28:51 pm
No one is saying that it is... however what is new is the absence of any tangible sense of political accomplishment at Pride.  All that is left is the hedonism.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 18, 2007, 08:50:20 pm
Sorry, when you said All I see in Pride Day these days is a chance to buy stuff, get laid, do drugs, party and look at pretty boys. it seemed to imply that these shenanigans were not always present.

I will agree that Pride events are mostly void of a political element these days, but I suppose that is the price of success.  They're seemingly vestigial in nature now, though assuredly they shouldn't be as there's obviously still much work to be done.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: mjmel on June 20, 2007, 09:31:26 am
Gay Pride Day and Gay Pride Parades have always been a mixed bag of emotions for me.
I have felt pride enough to burst at the seams...........and I have felt horrified at what comes out onto the streets at times. I mean, where do those freaks come from? But of course I know. Over the years I have learned to realize their value and appreciate what they represent. Call 'em the Lost Boys & Gals of our social infrastructure..........those that wish to express themselves in such a manner that retaliates and rebels against the set standards. Standards that spell pain and repression which society would bestow them. They entertain us and educate us with their shock value.
But even with that said, I don't make an effort to attend PRIDE parades anymore. Life is simple these days and I am comfortable with my animals and a those few, few friends.
And this forum. This forum has become an important factor in my daily life. I'm still trying to determine if that is a wise thing. It's like a friend.......but it's "tah intranets" for christ sake.
 ;)
Mike
 
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: dixieman on June 20, 2007, 11:53:36 am
Bucko, You were at the Pride in Paris of 1997... I was there! I may have seen you... what a small world it is... I was there and it was awesome...
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: NycJoe on June 20, 2007, 04:56:49 pm
I have to agree with not getting the pride thing.  I never felt proud or ashamed in any way. I just am.  I'm not proud to be white or irish and german..I just am.  Confident and happy yes..proud..no.  So I get what some of you are saying and agree.  I have gone to "pride" in a few cities in the past and felt more out of place than anything.  But I say..hey..if your into it..go for it.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 21, 2007, 12:12:08 am
It's not about "fitting in" or not... it's about a political movement.  Gays shouldn't see everything as so self-centered.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 21, 2007, 12:23:07 am
It's not about "fitting in" or not... it's about a political movement.  Gays shouldn't see everything as so self-centered.
Tell them who are parading those days.

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 21, 2007, 12:25:45 am
Tell them who are parading those days.

Milker.

red herring... .there are ALWAYS lost souls in the world.  this does not negate the good work of others.  Stop being duplicitous just because you don't get laid at Pride.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 21, 2007, 12:29:21 am
red herring... .there are ALWAYS lost souls in the world.  this does not negate the good work of others.  Stop being duplicitous just because you don't get laid at Pride.
Well I went to maybe 4 or 5 gay prides in my life, and yes, never got laid. Is that the source of my problem ???

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 21, 2007, 12:35:04 am
I think I got laid at every gay pride... multiple times
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: milker on June 21, 2007, 01:13:29 am
I think I got laid at every gay pride... multiple times
I'm not as good as you are.. that's a given ;( Oh well.. now I know why I don't like gay pride.. never got laid :(

Milker.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: GSOgymrat on June 21, 2007, 05:59:08 am
Gay pride is kind of like Christmas. Some people see Christmas as a holy day celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and some people see Christmas as a day off of work and a excuse to eat candy.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: frenchpat on June 21, 2007, 10:54:29 am
It may not be a political demo in most western countries but it certainly still is in most parts of the world, well, those that allow a parade to happen...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/israel/Story/0,,2108200,00.html (http://www.guardian.co.uk/israel/Story/0,,2108200,00.html)

Pat
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: boylikertampa on June 21, 2007, 12:20:21 pm
For many years, I have given a Gay Pride party celebrating and acknowledging the Stonewall Riots of 1969.  I am the only person I know of who has done this, excluding group-sponsored Pride events.  I use the opportunity at my home to remind those of us who have been in the struggle longer (I was 17 at the time of Stonewall), and to educate those younger Gays who need to realize why and how we as a legally and socially oppressed group have gotten as far as we have.  Can't build for the future without understanding the foundation.  Like many others on here, I live Gay Pride everyday.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: boylikertampa on June 21, 2007, 12:22:24 pm
Thanks, Milker, for starting such a positive and thought- and emotion-provoking topic.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Oceanbeach on June 25, 2007, 04:16:42 pm
I didn't attend the SF Pride parade/festival yesterday but did catch part of the channel 4 special on TV.

I must say, I was just a little disappointed because the name "Dykes on Bikes" was not politically correct on NBC.  They were referred to as, "Women's Motorcycle Coalition."  They have been leading the SF Pride parade for 30 years and there were 450 participants in this years parade.

The following group was "Mike's on Bikes", who were not called "Men's Motorcycle Coalition" on NBC. Have the best day
Michael
(who is not a member of Mike's on Bikes) ;D
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Ulong on June 25, 2007, 06:40:47 pm

 But to me Pride at its best (and worst) is a big Carninale or Mardi Gras, a free-wheeling good time, a chance to get drunk (like I need one) get laid (ditto) and put all the bigoted straights in town on alert that, although free to rant in the privacy of their own home, we're not to be minimized, ever.

It's the visibility of Pride that so many now take for granted. Like Mark (Aztecan), I remember when attending a Gay Pride parade was a highly provocative act of sicial consequence. And in many smaller places it still is.


True...just the idea that you can have a couple hundred thousand gays flocking together with very little fuss is in it's own way a huge political statement. Thank God the local TV stations help out by not just showing the NAMBLA parade float and making an effort to show the rest of the mostly boring crowd.

Ulong
(who can be proud --while rolling around with a woman in the grass like a damn heathen)
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: northernguy on June 25, 2007, 11:02:40 pm
.... I remember Club OZ with a black limo and two guys wearing leather (who redefined the term "butt ugly").  That car was escorted off the parade route at the first cross street...

This puzzles me.  You mean they were too ugly to be in the parade, or beacuse they dared expose their butt?

We have the gay nudist club march in our parade (sans clothes) and leathermen too (some not quite a Colt fantasy).  More power to them, that's what Pride's about, being your own person.  Its not so long ago (and in some places in North America it still is) that being gay was meant being marginalized.  Who are we to tell somebody they're too ugly for the pride parade?

Ironically I feel as some others do, that Pride has become an excuse to get drugged up at some circuit party, which annoys me.  That's not the point.  To me, the point is all the folks from young mums with kids to grannies who come out to watch the parade here.  I don't see that as being assimilated, but as being accepted. 

PS, I think we've got one of the best parade routes, alongside the beaches of English Bay.

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Longislander on June 26, 2007, 11:42:11 am
I went to the Gay Pride March in NYC Sunday (first time). Dykes on Bikes started it off here as well.  :D  I couldn't believe how many groups there were, from proud bisexuals, to the gay naturists. There were floats from the HIV/AIDS organizations in the city, Meals on Wheels, the bars/clubs. Churches and Synagogues where LGBT were free to worship marched.

When I first saw the Verizon float, I was thinking , wow, now there's an ad. Then I realized the riders were proud LGBT employees of a company that provides them a safe workplace.

There were groups that marched for Obama, and one for Hillary. Local politicans ( in NYC) marched. Senator Schumer marched.

It was a very long parade of people. I belileve I stood there for 5 1/2 hours! I enjoyed every minute of it. Of course the hot guys in Speedos didn't hurt the eyes~

The crowds on the sidelines were filled with people from all walks of life, cheering everyone on.

The underlying theme of this march was marriage equality. It was interspersed throughout the parade . The most striking being gay or lesbian couples walking hand in hand with signs such as ' together 52 years, married for 3'

But I got it. I understood it all. And I didn't leave until the last float went by.

The surprise of the trip for me was near the end when David Bromstad was on the back of a convertible Mustang!!! ;D ;D ;D. Sure they advertised his show/HGTV, but he's an out/proud TV star, and that's what I got from it. He is soooo damned cute (which I mouthed to him) and he said 'thank you' . Yup, I melted -lol

And I didn't buy anything other than a water and a gatorade from street vendor.  The only thing I saw being hawked were pride flags, bracelets and bandanas.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: raroy273 on June 26, 2007, 03:36:57 pm
I dont do Pride.  First of all I dont like crowds, dont like the feeling that we are on display.  The main reason I dont do Pride is cause it seems to be an excuse to see how many drugs you can do, how drunk you can get, how many you can sleep with, how many parties you went to, etc.  I feel that Pride has been distorted into an annual circuit party.  This should be a time to show the world that we are a community of diverse people that affect positivie change in our local society.  Anyways, done with my rant....
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: bear60 on June 27, 2007, 08:26:07 am
 
This should be a time to show the world that we are a community of diverse people ......quote raroy

Gee whiz....isnt that what it is?  Ok I admit its been a few years since I marched.....but you must be referring to the parties cause I never saw anything like you describe at Gay Pride Parades...... my favorite group was always the PFLAG group....Moms and Dads with their gay or lesbian kids.....it always warmed my heart cause I could never picture my Dad doing that.
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 27, 2007, 09:03:19 am
Oh please, go to Temps on the Jersey Shore or Neptunes in East Quogue and you'll quickly see a straight party scene that's 10x the amount of drugs in any gay club -- it's rather amazing actually.

So there are big parties surrounding the parade event... big deal.  Fags party in clubs every weekend of the year anyway -- do you just stay home all the time?  If you don't enjoy nightclubs, alcohol, drugs and petty drama queens then don't go to the clubs.  A parade is just a parade (read: BORING AND LONG).
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Cerrid on June 27, 2007, 10:23:34 am
Even if the gay prides in western countries are void of political issues nowadays and have succumbed to commercialism and hedonism, to partying and drugs, there are also a lot of countries, especially in eastern Europe, where homophobia and hatred rule and where gay parades are either prohibited, intimated or busted. It's a situation most of us don't think about because of our self-complacency and our local achievements, but if we raise our views and think globally, that's where the real gay movement is now, one which deserves its name. It's alive and kicking, and that's where our solidarity and compassion should go. To me, pride is not just about celebrating ourselves, but also to help and memorize those who are still beaten and suppressed.

Some reading:

Moscow Mayor: Gay Pride is ‘Satanist Happening’ (http://www.gayrussia.ru/en/homophobia/detail.php?ID=8425)
Russia, Poland, Latvia: Crucible of Hate (http://www.guardian.co.uk/gayrights/story/0,,2093006,00.html)
Anti-gay backlash in Eastern Europe (http://www.workersliberty.org/node/8630)
Peter Tatchell  on the situation in Moldova (http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/peter_tatchell/2007/05/the_pride_of_eastern_europe.html)



Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: raroy273 on June 27, 2007, 03:51:06 pm
"Even if the gay prides in western countries are void of political issues nowadays and have succumbed to commercialism and hedonism, to partying and drugs, there are also a lot of countries, especially in eastern Europe.To me, pride is not just about celebrating ourselves, but also to help and memorize those who are still beaten and suppressed. " 

AMEN!
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Iggy on June 27, 2007, 11:16:44 pm
Quote
.  The main reason I dont do Pride is cause it seems to be an excuse to see how many drugs you can do, how drunk you can get, how many you can sleep with, how many parties you went to, etc.  I feel that Pride has been distorted into an annual circuit party.

I guess you've never been to a hetero wedding, huh?  See? we are equal after all.




 


Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: raroy273 on June 28, 2007, 03:26:35 pm
I guess you've never been to a hetero wedding, huh?  See? we are equal after all.




 




I have been to herero weddings and they dont get anywhere near what I have seen/experienced at Pride.  This is my opinion and you all can do with it as you wish and it dont bother me. 
Title: Re: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly
Post by: Bucko on June 28, 2007, 05:58:46 pm
Re-reading this thread reminded me of something that happened fifteen years ago, and now feel the need to share:

In April 1992 my French lover Jean-Marc died, and I left Paris returning to Boston (where I was raised) almost immediately. At that moment in my life i was in deep mourning, leaving my apartment only for work and trips to rent/return porn (we all have our coping strategies). I was so sensitive that practically anything would (and did) set me off. I hadn't even considered attending Pride that year as a party was the furthest thing from my mind.

My sister (who is a lesbian) coaxed me out, inviting me to march with her Proud & Sober group (she has been alcohol/drug free since 1990). I knew most of these people and felt that anything would be preferable to sitting home alone with a tub of Crisco, so I agreed. The good mood was completely infectious, and for several hours my burdens seemed distant and (momentarily) irrelevant.

A former ex took a picture of my sister and me along the route, stopping to pose. We are flashing the broadest, brightest smiles we had, and the pic looks naturally joyous, not forced. He eventually transfered the pix taken that day onto video, with music and running commentary between he and his then-boyfriend, as a kind of slideshow. It remains one of my prized possessions and need to have it transferred to DVD someday, as I'd love to share it with you all.

Buoyed by the positive, fun energy, I eventually parted with my sister and attended the annual closed-street block party and consumed enough beer to feel buzzy without feeling basted and flirted with many many equally sweaty, shirtless male specimens before selecting my pick and bringing him home. A brief fuck was followed by cuddling and an invite to a roof-top BBQ, which I accepted.

We proceeded directly thereafter to a fund-raising Pride Ball held in Boston's City Hall and attended by thousands. The spectacle of hundreds of near-naked, sweaty men bumping and grinding inside City Hal was a sight I'll never forget, especially in a separate, lower-level room that I called the snakepit and where the action approached NC-17 if never XXX. My companion offered to score some drugs, but I abstained and we eventually drifted apart as the evening wore on.

I wasn't alone long before a couple in their forties approached me and off we went on yet another adventure.

I took my "walk of shame" (which was not shameful at all) home in full morning sun, bedraggled but lifted, if only for a day, from my depression and isolation. I can't say that I didn't soon revert to my grief and isolation, but I can say that Pride 1992 helped me regain my sea-legs and was soon going out more regularly, so yeah...it changed my life, or at least acted as the catalyst for positive change in my life.

Every year there is someone else, just as I was, withdrawn and broken spirited who finds renewal of hope in Pride festivities. The carnival atmosphere of topless dykes, over-the-top drag queens (whether in sequins or leather) and all those otherwise circumspect men cutting loose can be liberating, drugs not necessarily required (nor orgiastic sex, though it did me a world of good).

My ex used to say "If you don't believe in abortion, don't have one". The same applies to Pride. Skip it if it holds no promise of adventure, or if a public affirmation of one's sexual orientation makes you flinch. It's entirely your loss.

Brent
(Who has changed very little over the years)