I'm scared

[Ben_jammin]

Hi everyone,

I'm Ben, I'm 22 years old and I was diagnosed with HIV on June 9th 2017. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do. I don't want to die and when I heard that I was diagnosed my heart sank to the floor. I've already set my appointments up with the HIV clinics and the infectious disease doctor to get a better idea of what I need to. I'm posting here because I need to talk to someone who understands what I'm going through. I feel lost, and alone. I have the thoughts that people are going to think I'm a toxic human for being HIV+. I have the thought that people aren't going to date me or be with me because of my diagnosis. What do I do? Who can I talk to? Are there other people like me? I'm so scared.

Thank you all for reading my post and helping me. Please feel free to email me at anytime I'm in Massachusetts if you are too I would really like to meet.

Ben

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Sorry to hear you are scared.

Question how were you disgonised and have you had confirmation testing done and completed ?

Look you,'re young and that's great as starting treatment young people nowadays can expect to live long and healthy lives.

I'm young I suppose.... I have 2 kids , a HIV negative ex-wife a HIV negative girlfriend and a career, I got promoted to senior management last week so all in all my HIV has not stopped me from living a full life. You will find this is the case for newbies so to speak who get on with it.

Being newly diagnosed is however a bit of a mind fuck and it's normal to be concerned and wonder "what if" but this will settle.

life with HIV goes on as normal, its simply not a big game changer. In short take your meds and live your life.

expect to have to work, pay bills, pay the rent, fall in love, get married if you are into that or don't, have kids if that's the plan.  Simply put life with HIV in the scheme of things changes nothing and life goes on as normal, and with treatment Life expectancy has reached near normal and so you should expect to live a long and productive, boring life as you normally would expect

Jim

[Ben_jammin]

Hi Jim,

I was diagnosed when I went to my family doctor after an STD test, and I have not had confirmation testing done as of yet. I am going into the HIV clinic on Monday to do more blood tests and the following day I will be meeting with a doctor who specializes in the field.

I do want kids and to raise a family one day that has always been my dream to have a family with a loving husband. As for the side affects of the HIV medication. I've read online that they can make you nauseous and in a sense is the equivalent to Chemotherapy for patients with cancer. I am trying to remain positive, but I feel like I'm a disappointment to my parents. Yesterday was their anniversary and I had to tell them that I was diagnosed with the disease. Even this morning, I've been having a hard time sleeping because the thought of being diagnosed kept me up.  I have told my closest friends that I was diagnosed and they are so supportive, but they are in Florida. Thank you for your post Jim, I really appreciate it.

Ben

[Jim Allen]

Ok well until you have been confirmed HIV positive please only post in this thread.


With regards to the side effects and chemo , thankfully not , this is 2017 not the late 1980's . You should expect no more than a few days of adjustment to treatment. I take mine once a day no side effects and if I had any I would switch treatment.

Take a deep breath you are way over thinking things.

Jim

[kentfrat1783]

Hi Ben,

I was just diagnosed on May 9th and my heart dropped as well.  I guess that I was already admitted to the hospital for PCP was a good thing.  All of the doctors couldn't figure our why I was so sick so they just started running all of the tests.  Well one came back positive (no pun intended).

My first thought was what is my family going to think.  Only family I have told is my partner, mom, dad, sister and my best friend.  No one else needs to know.  My co-workers keep asking what was the cause of my pneumonia and I just say the doctors figured it out and I'm dealing with it.  Unless they need to know I won't be telling them. 

I don't want to tell you what to do but be careful with who you tell.  Some people like to talk and if your town is like mine, it will get around way too quickly.   

Don't think that you will be a walking infection.  Just think of yourself as you did the day before your tests.  Nothing has changed about that.  You are still you. 

[Andy Velez]

Ben, just so you know that IF your positive diagnosis is confirmed, there have been many advances in HIV treatment.  Among them is the ability to have children who are born HIV negative as well as the ability to live health and normal lives.

Let's take it one step at a time and see if the positive result is confirmed or not and go from there.  Either way life is going to go on, Ben.

Keep us posted.

Best,

Andy