A constant whisper

[dean]

How are ya all doing?

I have been browsing through this (not to mention nearly every other) site for quite some time now. The intellectual within me is telling me I have nothing to worry about, however, there is also a constant nagging voice within me telling me other more dramactic things. I just want to write and share my experience and hopefully be told to banish this obsession once and for all.

I went for a couple of lapdance performances (how often have ye heard that, I wonder?) back in January of this year. Each performance lasted around 40 minutes or so. During the course of the performance's, I kissed the breasts of the lapdancer in question and she sat on my hand - there may have been partial fingering but nothing too deep (I think!). Now, I can't remember if I had any cuts or bruises or welts or whatever but I would not imagine I had anything too serious.

A couple of days after the incident - exactly 48 hours - I developed a very stiff neck and began feeling achy - but I put this down to sleeping akwardly on two flights I had the day before I got the stiff neck and began feeling achy. Does that make sense? Also, around two weeks after that, I developed a flu - I put this down to the time of year.

On then to April when I developed a severe case of penal thrush - for the first time in my life. This went away with some cream afer a couple of weeks. At that exact same time, I developed what I now know to be angular chielitis on the corners of my mouth. Again, this lasted around 3 weeks but went away when I stopped using a particular lip-balm I was using. Does that make sense?

On then to June when, after a night on the beer, I for some bizarre reason started looking up HIV symptoms. I don't even know why. Then I had dreams about HIV and could see people telling me I had the virus. Then of course I looked back on the symptoms of the past 6 months, panicked severely and have since developed IBS - which I initially thought was the diarrhea stage of HIV. Since then I have spent a helluva lot of time browsing sites looking for reassurance, monitoring my girlfriend's symptoms - she has had recurrent vaginal thrush for the past three months or so and just yesterday complained of a infection in her gums and is also suffering from heavy periods for the last while.

Logically, I should not consider myself a risk but all these little symptoms (mine and my GF) would seem too much of a coincidence to ignore flat out. Please tell me I'm stupid and to stop worrying - but expand on it a little. Please.

[Ann]

Dean,

Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. (and there is no such thing as a "diarrhea stage" of hiv) Yeast infections are common in women and are often caused by antibiotic use. She should see her doctor about this. You should also use condoms when she has thrush - you two are probably passing it back and forth between you.

Nothing during your lapdance put you at risk of hiv infection in any way, shape or form. Kissing is not a risk as saliva is not infectious. Fingering is also not a risk as skin is an excellent barrier against hiv. This is true even if you have small cuts. Not one person has ever become infected with hiv through fingering and you will NOT be the first.

Please read through the Welcome Thread and follow the link to the Transmission Lesson so you can learn what is and what isn't a risk for hiv infection.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. This advice goes for you and your girlfriend too - you should have tested together before the condoms came off.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You did NOT have a risk of hiv infection during your lapdance - not by any stretch of the imagination.

Ann

[dean]

Thanks for the quick response, Ann.

I'll think I'll start enjoying life again now.

Cheers and keep up the great work.