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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 06:08:42 pm

Title: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 06:08:42 pm
Help!

Last night night, I was bitten by a lovely vampire I met online at Jdate. She is a charming young woman and I'd like to continue our relationship, but I didn't tell her I was positive when she invited me home to "snuggle", and because she had to leave for work very early, she left me alone at her place before I'd had a chance to tell her my status. I also neglected to tell her that I am still married, although I was wearing my wedding band.

I'd like to see her again. What should I do?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 06:10:40 pm
What? She actually wants to drink your blood?

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Mouse on August 23, 2007, 06:11:22 pm
Jewish vampires?!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Bucko on August 23, 2007, 06:11:49 pm
Help!

Last night night, I was bitten by a lovely vampire I met online at Jdate. She is a charming young woman and I'd like to continue our relationship, but I didn't tell her I was positive when she invited me home to "snuggle", and because she had to leave for work very early, she left me alone at her place before I'd had a chance to tell her my status.

I'd like to see her again. What should I do?

Contact Anne Rice. She's something of an authority.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 06:12:29 pm
Hey yeah! Jewish? Blood ain't kosher . . .

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Mouse on August 23, 2007, 06:13:50 pm
Hey yeah! Jewish? Blood ain't kosher . . .

MtD

Maybe the blood of other Jews is?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: BT65 on August 23, 2007, 06:15:59 pm
Are you serious? She wants to drink your blood?  I used to know a gay vampire and he would do shit like that.  I like my steak medium rare- a little cooked, with no blood juices flowing.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 06:22:13 pm
Hey yeah! Jewish? Blood ain't kosher . . .

MtD

She's been a secular jew for many years.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: thunter34 on August 23, 2007, 06:26:43 pm
Is this thread for real?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Mouse on August 23, 2007, 06:30:07 pm
Is this thread for real?


Bela Lugosi is dead because people like you killed him. =(
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: aupointillimite on August 23, 2007, 06:32:15 pm
I've been naming all the stars.

Vampires are impervious to diseases.  I learned that on Buffy.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 06:43:11 pm
Isn't she already undead?

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: milker on August 23, 2007, 07:18:45 pm
I can't wait to see Ann's response to "jvamp" in AmIInfected asking if she was at risk after drinking blood from a married HIV positive man.

Milker (who milks and doesn't draw).
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: koksi on August 23, 2007, 07:22:10 pm
Is this thread for real?

Right?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 07:25:43 pm
Just because Youth Pastor Tim and Koksi don't believe in undead female jew vampires with day jobs and a thing for poz heterosexual men doesn't mean they don't exist.

Can we have a little acceptance here people?

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 07:30:13 pm
I've been naming all the stars.

Vampires are impervious to diseases.  I learned that on Buffy.

I'd feel much more sanguine about the situation if there was any real authority on the problem, but the CDC website doesn't discuss it in detail, and most of what's in Wikipedia just doesn't have any bite.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 07:32:48 pm
I'd feel much more sanguine about the situation

I was waiting for that line . . . :)

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 23, 2007, 07:34:34 pm
I hear garlic and a crucifix will assist in these types of situations...
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 07:38:01 pm
Just because Youth Pastor Tim and Koksi don't believe in undead female jew vampires with day jobs and a thing for poz heterosexual men doesn't mean they don't exist.

Can we have a little acceptance here people?

MtD

Thanks for the hugs. I can't stand it when they leave before morning.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozattitude on August 23, 2007, 07:38:21 pm
(http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/characters/character0134.gif)

got blood?

Rich
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: RapidRod on August 23, 2007, 07:38:51 pm
I hear garlic and a crucifix will assist in these types of situations...

Make sure you have a wooden stake in your back pocket too.  :)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: milker on August 23, 2007, 07:42:05 pm
I hear garlic and a crucifix will assist in these types of situations...
Garlic is bad for HIV+ people and vampires. Imagine garlic and HIV+ vampires. Time to call Miss Cleo. Or Frau Blücher ???

Milker.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 23, 2007, 07:42:44 pm
Well to be absolutely certain is to remove the head...ends the blood rein of terror instantly...
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 23, 2007, 07:43:07 pm
Garlic is bad for HIV+ people and vampires. Imagine garlic and HIV+ vampires. Time to call Miss Cleo. Or Frau Blücher ???

Milker.


Horse: Neeiiiiggghhhh, Neeeeeiiiiiggghhh!!!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 07:45:14 pm
Hey Cat,

Did she drink your blood or keep it to make matzo?

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozattitude on August 23, 2007, 07:48:39 pm
no, you have to burn the bloodsucker...as documented in "Dracula Has Risen From The Grave" 1968

Rich
(who loves vampires)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 07:51:13 pm
Hey Cat,

Did she drink your blood or keep it to make matzo?

MtD

See above  - secular jews only eat matzoh on very rare occasions.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: RapidRod on August 23, 2007, 07:53:10 pm
Don't modern vamp just use infusion sets? Where would one go on a date? The local blood bank? ;)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 08:08:15 pm
See above  - secular jews only eat matzoh on very rare occasions.

True, but I was thinking she may have cornered a market and just be making the matzo to sell rather than for personal consumption.

You know how busy things are at Seder.

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Bucko on August 23, 2007, 08:32:10 pm
At a Vampire Seder even the unlevened bread will rise...rise...rise!!!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2007, 08:42:37 pm
Nothing tarts up a thread like a dash of blood libel. ;)

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Queen Tokelove on August 23, 2007, 08:57:16 pm
I have always been fascinated by vampires which should be obvious because of my name. I have to agree with Thunter Bunny and ask if this really is real. If this is a gag then I agree with Benj, vamps can't be infected with disease. Now if this is a person who really is into drinking blood then I have to say she must think she's invincible like someone else I know.... ;)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 09:07:46 pm
I have always been fascinated by vampires which should be obvious because of my name. I have to agree with Thunter Bunny and ask if this really is real. If this is a gag then I agree with Benj, vamps can't be infected with disease. Now if this is a person who really is into drinking blood then I have to say she must think she's invincible like someone else I know.... ;)

I was expecting you to weigh in on this one Akasha.

Of course it's real!  ;)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: puertorico2006 on August 23, 2007, 09:21:50 pm
Wow this thread amuses me
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Tempeboy on August 23, 2007, 09:31:19 pm
OMG - it must be true!

"Most of the Jewish references to vampires are contained in the writings of the Hasidei Ashkenaz, a mystical pietistic movement that flourished in thirteenth-century Germany. The monsters were usually female, and were referred to as estries. The term is French, and derives from strix, a Latin word for a night-owl. The ancient Romans believed that the owls consume human blood, and Petronius tells a scary tale about a certain Cappadocian who was snatched away by a strix, and later found dead. The striges were said to be terrible women who could turn themselves into dreadful birds of prey, with huge talons, misshapen heads and breasts full of poisonous milk. In medieval folklore, they continued to be associated with screech owls"

from - http://www.ucalgary.ca/~elsegal/Shokel/011025_Vampires.html

Can vampires catch AIDS? Or HIV for that matter? What is the science invloved? Will a crucifix still work?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Iggy on August 23, 2007, 09:38:25 pm
Is this thread for real?

Being that wish lives in NY and my own personal experiences with certain people who claimed to frequent the vampire circles here in the city, I can attest this is definitely a real thing - though wish will have to verify his own personal experiences.

Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 23, 2007, 09:39:05 pm
Being that wish lives in NY and my own personal experiences with certain people who claimed to frequent the vampire circles here in the city, I can attest this is definitely a real thing - though wish will have to verify his own personal experiences.



I have something you can suck on...
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Iggy on August 23, 2007, 09:39:44 pm
I have something you can suck on...

I already did
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: dufusmaximus on August 23, 2007, 09:41:11 pm
hehe, you said 'sanguine'

blah!

blah!

Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 23, 2007, 09:41:27 pm
I already did

and you keep cumming back for more don't you...jesus, Charlotte will never be the same...

Now back to Vampires...I believe that blood is an iron tasting thick mess...who wants it??
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 09:43:17 pm
.... Will a crucifix still work?


Not if the vampire is jewish.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 23, 2007, 09:49:46 pm
I have something you can suck on...


I'll give her your number.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: puertorico2006 on August 23, 2007, 10:03:01 pm
I have something you can suck on...

but vampires use their teeth OUCH ;D
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozattitude on August 23, 2007, 10:07:01 pm
hey how about a porn
the vampire fucks the victim than sucks him to death..literally!!!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: puertorico2006 on August 23, 2007, 10:08:17 pm
hey how about a porn
the vampire fucks the victim than sucks him to death..literally!!!

Id buy it for sure ...i always liked vampires....
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Iggy on August 23, 2007, 10:09:24 pm
hey how about a porn
the vampire fucks the victim than sucks him to death..literally!!!

That's a scene in this http://www.queerhorror.com/qvamp/items/203.html (http://www.queerhorror.com/qvamp/items/203.html)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Mouse on August 23, 2007, 10:10:05 pm
.... Will a crucifix still work?


Not if the vampire is jewish.

Oh god, we're fucked then.
It's next to impossible to make a star of David with your fingers.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: md on August 23, 2007, 10:44:28 pm
It was always my understanding that HIV etiquette did not require disclosure to vampires.

See Christopher Moore's excellent "You Suck" for more details on this and other vampire related topics ...

Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: milker on August 23, 2007, 11:25:17 pm
Oh god, we're fucked then.
It's next to impossible to make a star of David with your fingers.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: milker on August 23, 2007, 11:28:50 pm
proof (http://ejmmm2007.blogspot.com/2006/11/vampires-jewish-goth.html)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: JR Gabbard on August 24, 2007, 12:04:17 am
Oh god, we're fucked then.
It's next to impossible to make a star of David with your fingers.

Point of order.  One can do magical, wonderous things with the fingers, if one but tries.  And has been properly trained.

But a crucifix definitely won't work on a jewish vampire.  The blood only gets them more excited.  Believe me, I have tried this.

JR
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Oceanbeach on August 24, 2007, 02:33:35 am
I hear garlic and a crucifix will assist in these types of situations...

Garlic and a Crucifix do not work if you invite the vampire into your home.  However comma if you use Holy Water, you can fry the suckers.  Learned that on "The Lost Boys" or maybe... "Bordello of Blood"?.  Have the best day
Michael
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Mouse on August 24, 2007, 02:34:51 am
Garlic and a Crucifix do not work if you invite the vampire into your home.  However comma if you use Holy Water, you can fry the suckers.  Learned that on "The Lost Boys".  Have the best day
Michael

The Lost Boys! I had such a crush on Keifer Sutherland when I saw that movie when I was 13. And then I realized the movie was made in 1987.
Sigh.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 24, 2007, 02:36:23 am
I had such a crush on Keifer Sutherland when I saw that movie when I was 13. And then I realized the movie was made in 1987.

Shaddup. :P

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Oceanbeach on August 24, 2007, 02:38:55 am
I need to bannish two emotional vampires out of my life... any ideas?  Have the best day
Michael
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 24, 2007, 02:40:50 am
Jew or goyim?

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: BT65 on August 24, 2007, 07:22:55 am
I am wondering what Wish did about the situation?  Did he go back for more biting and sucking? :o
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: tendai on August 24, 2007, 08:01:15 am
hmm so if i get bitten by a vampire and turn , will i become HIV free?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 24, 2007, 08:09:35 am
I am wondering what Wish did about the situation?  Did he go back for more biting and sucking? :o

I'm waiting a few days before I call her again (I don't want her to think I'm that easy, and I do hate it when they don't respect you in the morning.)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 24, 2007, 03:02:15 pm
Update:

So far, I haven’t felt any unusual effects from Cupcake’s bite (yes, that’s her real name.)  But when I got home from her house,  my wife noticed the bite marks that Cupcake’s extraordinary canines had left on my neck, and she decided she’d had enough, so she tossed all my shit out the window and shoved me out the door. I was desperate, so I called Cupcake on the cell.

“Cupcake” I said. “I know this is kind of sudden, but...."

“I know, you handsome fool”, she interrupted, “All vampires can foresee the future. Now you need a place to stay and you want to come back to my condo.”

“Great, but there’s something I need to tell you, Cupcake....”

“Yes, my love, you have the HIV”.  She already knew.

“You mean you KNEW”? I huffed a sigh of relief and anger. No more disclosure problem.

“Won’t my blood infect you?” I asked her.
 “I am already dead, my pet, no human virus can affect me.”
“What about me? Will I become immortal?”
“Of course,” she cooed, “You will be my mine for eternity. That is why I picked you up on jdate - all women know that jewish men make the best husbands.”

“Will I have any other side effects?” I asked.
“Only this one: from now on, when you look in the mirror, the image of your face will look as if someone ran it through Photoshop.”

I am not happy with her proposal.  Does anyone have a place I can crash?
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: dixieman on August 24, 2007, 03:37:06 pm
try out a close by cemetary... maybe they'll have room for you... lol.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Iggy on August 24, 2007, 03:39:55 pm
On a related note - I just came back from Lunch and was in a bookstore....and what do I spy?  "Salem's Lot"

Been a long time since I last read so I bought it.
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: sweetasmeli on August 24, 2007, 03:54:42 pm
I am not happy with her proposal.

Why not? I watched Interview With a Vampire the other night. If being gnawed by a vamp makes you look anything like Mr Pitt in those pants, then what's your concern?

Miss Melia
(who goes grrrrr at the mere sight of Mr Pitt ;D)
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: milker on August 24, 2007, 05:17:44 pm
Have a killer week-end!  ;D

Milker.

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Oceanbeach on August 24, 2007, 05:32:27 pm
try out a close by cemetary... maybe they'll have room for you... lol.


I live next to a cemetary, a very old one.  Have also been in the caves used in The Lost Boys.  They are really a few miles north of the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk under the campus at UC Santa Cruz.  Have the best day
Michael
(whose emotional vampires are Catholic)  
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Oceanbeach on August 24, 2007, 05:40:01 pm
hmm so if i get bitten by a vampire and turn , will i become HIV free?
I think you should turn three times to your left after being bitten and then invoke the powers of the Spirit Elements.  Have the best day
Michael
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 24, 2007, 06:25:05 pm
On a related note - I just came back from Lunch and was in a bookstore....and what do I spy?  "Salem's Lot"

Been a long time since I last read so I bought it.

You read? With out pictures?? ;D
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 24, 2007, 07:11:43 pm
zapped coz I type too slow.

:)

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: pozguy75 on August 24, 2007, 07:14:32 pm
zapped coz I type too slow.

:)

MtD

You know I am a quick one!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 24, 2007, 07:15:43 pm
Hehehehe. Ann mods faster than Matty types these days. :)

MtD
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: wishihadacat on August 24, 2007, 08:18:09 pm
Hehehehe. Ann mods faster than Matty types these days. :)

MtD

Looks like they gave you the GOOD painkillers!
Title: Re: Vampires and disclosure
Post by: Iggy on August 24, 2007, 08:22:48 pm
You read? With out pictures?? ;D

Yeah, but I'm halfway through it and I still haven't found Waldo!