welcome to my world...

[SouthSam7]

Note: If this belongs in "Off Topic", feel free to move the post.

I will try to be brief.

My 80 year old father is very upset and worried about getting a CT scan, but more so, I believe, from the IV he will need before the CT scan.  He passed out yesterday at the doctor's office when they were trying to draw blood.  The doctor told him he needs a CT scan to see why he's so thin and weak.  No problem, get the test.

He also had trouble getting one of his prescriptions filled.  He's all shocked and surprised that they needed all that paperwork from the doctor to show that he can't take a similar and cheaper drug.  He was flabbergasted.  Big Fucking Deal!  Welcome to my world!

He's wanting all this fucking sympathy and is very worried about getting an IV and I'm thinking: Are you fucking serious?  What a baby!  I get stuck with needles at least once a month and have CT, EEGs and EKGs about every other year.  Every other month I have to jump through hoops and pray that my meds come through for me.  My insurance company has called me directly many times and tired to talk me into different drugs without consulting my doctor!

My father is so selfish and out of touch it isn't funny!  He's known for 5 years that I have to drive an hour each way at least once a month for medical reasons.  He could walk to the hospital here and get the CT scan.

He was in and out of the hospital in less than an hour.  I keep saying to my mother, "why are you all so freaked out?"  Of course she wants me to be a worrier too, so she gets pissed.  But shit, the man is 80 years old and medical tests are completely normal for someone his age!

I have seen everything now!  I can't believe after all this time how out of touch my parents STILL are.  They are selfish and hopeless.

I know some of you will think I'm going to hell but this is par for the course.  My father has never thought or cared about anyone but himself.

p.s. My father is skinny as a bean pole because all he eats is raisin bran and sits on the toilet for 3 hours a day!

Love,
Sam

[Miss Philicia]

Hi Sam, I'm sorry that you're caught up in this very frustrating situation.  And it's a situation I see on my horizon, as my parents are nearing this age.  My father just caught Lyme disease last month and was in the ER twice, but he had so many red lights in the previous couple of weeks that any other person would have gone to the doctor, but my father instead hid it all from my mother and almost passed out a couple of times driving by himself.  They live 3 hours away though so I don't know what I'll do if I have to get more involved.

But anyway, I'm thinking of you

[SouthSam7]

Thanks, Miss Philicia. 

I normally handle the situation very well.  Mom has medical problems and dad has Parkinson's.  For some reason, dad doesn't have many or any blood or other tests.  I normally block out how selfish he has always been.  Every once in a while, though, something like this happens and I think, "Grow up, man!  You got it made!".

Dad keeps to himself.  I have some help come take care of housekeeping, etc. for him and mother once or twice a week.  I live close by and I help mom as well.  But you will find they start to act child-like as they get older.

I feel you about your father not saying anything and hiding symptoms.  I think my father does that not because he's trying to be strong, but because he has a phobia about needle sticks and going to the doctor.  I also think Dad is worried about the bill.  I hate that money keeps my parents from going to the doctor when they should.

I know you will do fine.  There are many support programs to help elderly folks and their families.  Don't be apprehensive about calling their church, the senior center or a social worker in their town.  They will be able to direct you to get some assistance and/or social support for your parents. 

Thanks for your comments.

Sam

[Miss Philicia]

But you will find they start to act child-like as they get older.

Oh yeah.  I go on about one large trip with them each year for a week, and always tell them it's like chaperoning two 7 year olds.

I'm just hoping that they bite the bullet and go into a progressive care community like they've said they would for the past decade.  They've been looking at them, and put money down on one place but then took it out.  On some level they're sensitive to the issue, as they had to deal with my grandmother and putting her in a rest home the last five years of her life.  On the other hand they're too cheap to even hire some 13 year old to mow the grass, and the issue isn't money.  But like my grandmother once said: "Those two don't do anything without a coupon!"