POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: fabio on November 18, 2018, 07:23:35 pm
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Do you feel like some days ,no matter how much your In control you lose yourself that one day and feel like you're tired of everything for no reason and reality suddenly reminds you that you have hiv. I think as I'm writing you this I have this one day....
When I see people living their lives with no care and being free to love and show affection,even in movies,i just feel so empty and I instantly get reminded how scared and insecure I am about myself and the fact that I am hiv positive.
I don't usually get to talk to anyone about these things,so it's a bit of a relief that someone will "listen" to what I say all the time.
So... my real question is: How do you deal with these days...
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Yes, some days are tough... Like waiting for the other shoe to drop. How do you deal with those days? Plow forward. Don't let hiv dictate your life. I know it is easier said that done, but needs to be done that way. A diagnosis of HIV is not an easy matter and weighs heavily in every one of us. How do we deal with it? Everyone has his/her own methodology and successes. I just make myself busy, even if it is just 'busy' work...
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Yeah,I guess everyone has one,hiv or not.
I guess I felt kinda down that day haha. But now I'm quite better and optimistic. :)
You are right,we are who we Are, and we can't let hiv define us,we gonna beat this got damn thing hehe.
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I got an advice many years ago by an experienced wise friend. It goes more or less like this: when everything around you looks bad and you think there's nothing you can do, just "play dead". Meaning let yourself be drawn by the river current like a tree trunk. If there's nothing in your power to improve your condition let yourself flow, save your energy, accept you condition and just "flow" with the current of life. Wherever you'll end up it can't be worst than where you are now. Indeed, it may possibly be better. Then, with the energy you saved, you can re-evaluate your options.
M
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My favourite quote when I have these days/weeks is ‘fake it until you make it’. Check the ted talk out. It works!
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I hear you dude....it's raining here today and I'm just not for it. Meaning, it's soooo hard to remain happy because of our condition. I'm so scared that I won't be able to live my life to it's fullest capacity given the circumstances. Just give it time though bro and it'll get better...I have to constantly remind myself that I am still alive and breathing..ya know. I am able to write you and also function without any help. If you ever feeling down man just write me or these other outstanding people on here, trust me..you're not the only one feeling that way....we all have our days... Stay Up Bro.
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Fabio, dear,
Life span is made of ups and downs, with HIV and without it, Yes i agree: with HIV those down low moments can be lonely. If i want to reflect it on myself, i immedietly question two things: What do i have at this right moment to make me feel better? i compare my life with many others who are less fortunate and the image become more clear. The second question is what can i do to make myself feel better? it can be as simple as talking to a friend about it, writing those negative thoughts on a piece of paper. So i come, eventually, to a conclusion that life could be way harder and more lonely.
I hope my methodoligical approach will guide you.
Light all the way,
Prince
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I'm really thankful that I have you guys,even though I never met you in person.
I think all of these methods have worked. Fake it till you make it sounds like a cheesy 90s movie ;). Playing dead worked even before having hiv. It rains here as well. My personal method would be listening to cheesy 90s songs and move along,do not question everything. Some things are just so simple and seem very complex. Understanding the simplicity of it all made my life of ruin feel at ease.
So I would like you guys to promise me one thing. Even though we get bad days,let's get through them together here or spiritually.
Thank you all for your replies. I am feeling a lot better and I hope you are too 💚.
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So I would like you guys to promise me one thing. Even though we get bad days,let's get through them together here or spiritually.
Thank you all for your replies. I am feeling a lot better and I hope you are too 💚.
Thanks Fabio, appreciate your thought. I woke up this morning with that gloomy mood that accompany many of my awakenings (though it’s almost 2 years from my dx now) and found encouragement in your words.
M
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I'm very glad and hope you feel a lot better day in day out. Life is a lot more than this stupid hiv.
On the contrary I woke up this morning craving carbonara..... 😅😅😅
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Hi
I got an email and someone asked me to add this video to your thread, many people keep living full lives with disabilities.
"Adriana Macías: una mujer sin brazos que inspira a miles de personas"
"Adriana Macías: a woman without arms that inspires thousands of people"
https://youtu.be/4AotHDlfK9I
(https://i.postimg.cc/8Pqbqp37/Girl-without-arms.png)
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Thank you for posting that video Jim. And also send my thanks to the person who emailed you.
I can see how life won't stop with a tragedy or "misfortune" on the other hand it's gonna keep going nicely. The whole situation actually made my life go on. Before having hiv I was a kid stuck in the past,bullied since I was young,my parents worked 2 jobs and i didn't have friends. Time passed and I was stuck in the past. I guess I'm now living the present and accepting the past and moving on. Hiv is yet another trial,but I'm not gonna waste what precious life i have worrying like I did back then. I'm gonna make everything count.
The woman in the video,and another girl (a girl with an autoimmune disease that makes her skin harden) give me courage that life isn't limiting. That girl also has the best goth look as well...hehe
Again send my thanks to the person that emailed you.
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Will do
Jim
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Que alegría leerte, sabes hay días que me siento mal por padecer algo que ya debería tener cura, que no importara si quieres tener un mejor empleo.
Pero creo que lo mejor esta por venir , ojala y que pronto estemos brindando por nuestra salud y decir lo logramos .
por que los días serán mejores para todos y que esta luche termine.
Un abrazo
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How would you manage those days? Try not to give hiv a chance to direct your life. I realize it is simpler said that done, yet should be done that way. A determination of HIV isn't a simple issue and weighs intensely in all of us.
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@ethanmiller
Welcome to the forum, as a new member could you please open an introduction thread and, introduce yourself to the forum members that would be greatly appreciated. Either in the "I Just Tested Positive" section if you are newly diagnosed or "Living with HIV" section if you have been living with HIV longer.
You could perhaps start with as an example; How you are getting on? What treatment are you taking, how is that going? What your labs are like etc etc
Thank you
Jim
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@ethanmiller
@ethanmiller
Welcome to the forum, as a new member could you please open an introduction thread and, introduce yourself to the forum members that would be greatly appreciated. Either in the "I Just Tested Positive" section if you are newly diagnosed or "Living with HIV" section if you have been living with HIV longer.
You could perhaps start with as an example; How you are getting on? What treatment are you taking, how is that going? What your labs are like etc etc
Thank you
Jim
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When I found out I had HIV.. everything was trigger word my co worker told me "wrap it up" referring to these stacks of pallets we wrap with plastic. I immediately thought to myself "I should have".. or looking at people shopping and living free of this virus.. thinking the judgement I'd face from all communities especially the gay community. I couldn't listen to music because certain words or verses were trigger words(some still are)I still haven't told my mom.. it would be days I go to work crying on and off lost in thought... it's gotten better and it crosses my mind less but man does it hurt sometimes. I live alone so thinking about what to do next comes often. I just take it a few steps at a time and set goals to get to and move on to the next... I hype myself up like "bitch you have a brand to build" in this ordeal I found out I wanted to start my business and I wanted more for myself. I recently discovered I'm obsessed with becoming a home owner so i wrote it down with other goals and i just take steps towards them every day. I i hope days like this lessen for you and best of luck in all you do!
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When I found out I had HIV.. everything was trigger word my co worker told me "wrap it up" referring to these stacks of pallets we wrap with plastic. I immediately thought to myself "I should have".. or looking at people shopping and living free of this virus.. thinking the judgement I'd face from all communities especially the gay community. I couldn't listen to music because certain words or verses were trigger words(some still are)I still haven't told my mom.. it would be days I go to work crying on and off lost in thought... it's gotten better and it crosses my mind less but man does it hurt sometimes
Hi Wolfie,
I can totally relate to this (recurring thoughts triggered by words, things etc.). If I can humbly give an advice, I found help in a technique called "defusion": not easy to explain in a few words but easy to practice. If you want to know more check out "defusion" in ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy), you can find free online resources and very good books (ex. Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven c. Hayes). As I said, I suggest you give it a try, better if supervised by a professional but for starters you can do it also by yourself.
Hugs