Author Topic: Give and Take - feeling burnt out (Read 5454 times)

gemini20 · « **on:** October 09, 2007, 10:34:37 am »

I've not been participating in the forums recently because for some reason I just feel unable to 'give' any more - even the simplest words of love and support that I would want to share with those who've been dealing with some very difficult situations over recent times have just not been possible to express.

I wonder if this is what 'burn-out' feels like. I remember in the early years of my diagnosis hearing about volunteers at the ASO getting burnt out but never really understanding the concept.

All I know is that my capacity to 'give' to people here on the Forums feels woefully inadequate at the moment and rather than do anything half-hearted or without integrity I have withdrawn from contributing which consequently makes me feel that I must be really selfish and uncaring.

I do know that I am using up a lot of emotional energy giving my HIV talks to young people in schools as well as the physical energy needed to travel around the country and that workload is just increasing over the next couple of months with 30 more schools to visit.

I value these forums greatly and want to be a more active participant again but at the moment I know that my inner strength as well as my physical health is struggling to keep up with the demands I'm placing on it

Consequently I feel my ability to empathise, offer understanding or support or just send a cyber-hug to someone in need, seems to be lost. I do feel that I have in some way 'shut-down' or become disconnected from my emotional self and that makes it near impossible to connect on any meaningful level with anyone else.

Of course it is sods law that I need these forums more than ever right now as reluctantly I will be starting back on meds as of next Monday but I don't want to 'take' if I cannot 'give' so I will adjust to the joys/horrors(?) of Ritonavir, Prezista and Truvada alone and hopefully in time I will regain some degree of connection to the wider world and you will see me back here on a more regular basis.

Best wishes,

Emma

northernguy · « **Reply #1 on:** October 09, 2007, 10:38:14 am »

Enjoy your well-deserved break. Hopefully you'll come back recharged when you are ready. Wishing you an easy transition back to being on meds.

jkinatl2 · « **Reply #2 on:** October 09, 2007, 10:47:26 am »

Trust me, Emma. I get it. I'm right there with you.

komnaes · « **Reply #3 on:** October 09, 2007, 10:49:27 am »

Emma,

I am still a newbie but have read many of your posts here, following your stories on giving talks to the younger generations is such an inspiration.

I wish you the best with the meds and I for one would like to see you here - sort of the big giving tree for me now - more often.

Hugs, Shaun

Robert · « **Reply #4 on:** October 09, 2007, 11:35:32 am »

emma

you take care of yourself. Take care of your kids. We'll always be here and you will never---ever---be far from our thoughts.

and, oh, good luck with the meds. We know you and meds. It's not pretty.

robert

MSPspud · « **Reply #5 on:** October 09, 2007, 11:55:01 am »

Hi Emma - I wish you all the best in starting your new regimen. I am on Prezista and have been pleasantly surprised at how well I tolerate it compared to other PI's. I hope the same holds true for you. Take care of yourself while you're away!

penguin · « **Reply #6 on:** October 09, 2007, 12:36:56 pm »

what jk said.

be here when you can, eh? good luck with the new stuff - kate x

ps, prezista has been dead easy, like sugar pill, side effects wise for me

englishgirl · « **Reply #7 on:** October 09, 2007, 03:00:05 pm »

hey emma
you cant be all things to all people all of the time, and especially at a time when you are low on energy and finding things difficult. maybe now is the time to just 'take' the support of others for a bit, we all know that it's been tough for you recently
lots of love (and good luck with the new regime)
xxxxx

Jeffreyj · « **Reply #8 on:** October 09, 2007, 07:03:15 pm »

Emma,
I don't think that you understand how hard you do work! I did one speech last year, and it knocked me on my ass. And it was only a simple 5 minute drive! I simply can't imagine doing what you do. It takes up an amazing amount of energy. I respect you so very much. I am in awe that you have done this. And the fact that you do several dozens of these speeches, while traveling hours in some cases. One word comes to mind: WOW! You really are something special.
And now, on top of that, your going back on meds! It is totally understandable you may be feeling a bit "Burnt out.

Just take care of yourself. We will be here for you when you need us.

Lots of love to you Emma.

leatherman · « **Reply #9 on:** October 10, 2007, 09:36:00 pm »

{{{{Emma}}}}}

from mikie, jim and the doggies

Life · « **Reply #10 on:** October 11, 2007, 12:06:51 am »

Emma, we know you are here and we certainly know your plate is full with those kids, travel and now with a restart pending.... Contributing?? Just seeing that smiling face from time to time and just saying "hello" is enough for most of us...

Hugs,

Eric

Cliff · « **Reply #11 on:** October 11, 2007, 07:45:21 am »

Best of luck with your new regimen. Rest easy.

Cliff

David_CA · « **Reply #12 on:** October 11, 2007, 09:02:04 am »

Emma,

As much as you give, don't feel like you can't 'take' as much as you need from these forums. Do what you need for you. Good luck with the meds. Hopefully, some of what you're feeling is the virus itself, and the meds will improve that. I know I feel much better on meds than I did months before starting. Take care.

David

Iggy · « **Reply #13 on:** October 11, 2007, 09:37:54 am »

Emma,

I don't equate quantity with quality.

When you post, I always notice, and what you post, I always read and take to heart.

With love,

Mark

aztecan · « **Reply #14 on:** October 11, 2007, 10:17:47 am »

Hey Emma,

I can empathize with you on the burnout. It happens to everyone.

Don't worry about that. Just take a nice rest and get recharged.

Good luck with the new regimen.

HUGS,

Mark

mjmel · « **Reply #15 on:** October 11, 2007, 10:41:50 am »

Hi Emma. Hoping you success with the new medications.
When you have 'recharged' you will come back and offer your support, caring, wisdom and opinions. Sometimes we just need a pause. A time to grow or heal or rest.....whatever it may be-- it's just time to channel energies differently. Don't feel guilty--just come back and visit when you deem it right. Until then, it's enough that you are taking care of yourself so that you'll be here for the forum members, tomorrow.
Hugs,
Mike

Alain · « **Reply #16 on:** October 13, 2007, 02:02:07 pm »

Dear Emma,

I totally relate and have been feeling the same lately.

Take your time; always nice to hear from you, anytime.

Best of luck with your new drug regiment.

david25luvit · « **Reply #17 on:** October 14, 2007, 04:32:22 am »

Emma....

You're in good company my dear.... I dare say we all feel that way from time to time
regardless of our own personal situation. Sometimes its necessary to regroup or recharge
yourself...take this time and give yourself a little something. Remember to love others we
must love ourselves too......

Sending you a big ole {{{{HUG}}}

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #18 on:** October 14, 2007, 01:01:24 pm »

Emma, somehow I missed this thread of yours until today. I don't think you should feel guilty about "burn out" -- you're going through a lot right now, knowing your past history of staying off meds and now you're about to dive in again, ALL at the same time as devoting so much energy (and love) to speaking at schools, a commendable activity. If you feel you can not juggle both things I would hope you would err on the side of your own personal health. You can always go back to speaking at schools when you regain some energy.

That said, I wish you well with your new HIV regimen. Speaking from experience with Prezista from the past 18 months, it's a marvelous new med and I've had no side effects. Truvada has also served me well, for a longer time though I forget when I began with that one. I assume the Ritonavir (Norvir) is simply the booster amount for Prezista... can give you a bit of diarrhea but it's minimal.

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Author Topic: Give and Take - feeling burnt out (Read 5454 times)