Homo for the holidays

[aztecan]

After reading Biggums post, and running screaming from a local big box store where xmas trees are already on display, the topic of "the holidays" has crossed my mind.

Halloween (for those of us in the U.S.) is my favorite holiday for a variety of reasons. I just adore it.

Thanksgiving: An excuse to over eat. This year, my mother has let me know the family won't be gathering. My sister and her family will probably go to my brother-in-law's gathering. I don't know what I'll do yet. Maybe nothing.

Xmas: YUCK! I really don't like christmas. It is no longer a part of my religious heritage (although another celebration held close to the same date is) and I hate the idea that I have to send card, buy gifts, etc.

Moreover, it isn't a time of joy for me. Usually ends up with my feeling depressed. Not much depresses me, but xmas manages to every year.

I dread xmas and each year the retailers start pushing the crap earlier and earlier. It just causes me stress.

Does anyone else have this problem?

HUGS,

Mark

[blondbeauty]

Here all the stores are already selling Xmas decorations. They start earlier every year. I understand you. It also stresses me. At least I wont be working from the 22th of December to the 1st of January!

[Life]

Mark.. No way in getting around it... Its here..  This holiday for me, back when I was a kid was the salad days..  Being up in the mountains and hitting the slopes with family and friends.  I try to re-capture that feeling.  Last year was my first with our mutual diagnosis and we went all out.  Visiting both families, setting up two trees and spending time in the shops and yes, going to church.  It really felt good and very warm and fuzzy for us..  I tune out all of the hype and really just focus on the family and being with Will..  I am thankful we can still find that in our lives..  Every Christmas marks another year gone by.  There was a time (10 years) that I sat in my home self medicating on booze in Snowmass, by myself wanting what others had and feeling sorry for myself.  That's been 11 years ago...  Being punched in the stomach a year ago gave me even more resolve to not let go and not give up on my wishes to enjoy this world and yes, even Christmas.  For some, Christmas does not hold any meaning and for that I can understand.  But I am one of those Christians so its a bit easier for me to find the meaning that makes it worth celebrating..

We do not do cards, and we do not do gifts other than for Mom and Dad and ourselves.  Makes it alittle bit less of a thing...

I don't like loathing anything anymore...

Mark, make the best out of the next 2 months...

Love

[Val]

I actually love Christmas, since it has been now more than ten years that my baby and I have decided that it would be "Our Christmas!" and not "Our families' Christmas""
Usually, we take off to more serene and warm regions of the globe 'cause it can get very cold in Paris, and we frequently get some snow around that time as well.
Moreover, I have noticed that Christmas at Rio de Janeiro is much less sad than it is in Europe! Go figure, but I suppose it has something to do with the weather, the people, the beaches, everyone being almost naked, etc., etc!
As for New Year's, that's a completely different story!  There is no way that we can escape some members of our families... Don't get me wrong, though, when I use the word "escape!" It is  because we both work so much that when these holidays arrive, all we really are looking for is "a dolce farniente" at some beach in The Maldives, Rio or any place on Earth where the climate is warmer than in Northern  Europe.
The question of dealing with our families --- before, during and after the Holidays ---  has been solved a long time ago, thank goodness!  But, I still recall the very first time my sweetheart was introduced to my parents at...Christmas time when my mother invited him over for tea just before Christmas!  It was simply hilarious --- and funny!  Funny because I left him all by himself with my parents and he got mad at me afterwards.
And after all these years, the question that comes to my mind regarding the holidays is: "Do I regret my decisions?"  The answer has inevitably been the same for more than ten years now: Hell, no!


Val
___
___

[gemini20]

After my mother refused to let me join the family for Xmas after I told her of my diagnosis I just decided I wouldn't bother with it at all. It had never been a particularly happy time anyway as my father died just before Xmas when I was a kid. So I don't send cards. give presents or acknowledge it in any way. This means I don't get any of the stress that I see endless people around me getting into.

There's always this concern from friends that I'm on my own for Xmas but I'm on my own every other weekend so I don't see why these few days in December should be any different.

I highly recommend abandoning the whole concept and just sit back and let others get stressed and irritable at playing 'happy' families.

Emma

[azazel]

It's unpleasant My mother knows about my status and she accepted this.  Try to talk with her. You are her daughter!

[AlanBama]

I'm with you Mark, I absolutely LOVE Halloween.

Thanksgiving:   never a big deal for me, my brother and sister-in-law have HER side of the family for that holiday, and even though I am welcome, I usually stay home alone.   I do always enjoy the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Christmas:  a big stressor for me.   Isn't it funny, when you have someone Christmas can be wonderful; when you are alone, it can be horrible.   (note:  I plan to have a WONDERFUL one this year!)  Again, I'm lucky for a great family that has always included me, and they are the type that goes "all out", lots of decorations, lots of food, lots of gifts.   The "gifts" part is the part I hate, because I always feel like I am forced to spend money that I don't have, even though it is self-imposed pressure.   Over the past few years, my little family has become even closer, and we do things together at the holidays for our own enjoyment; ride around and look at holiday lights; go shopping, mainly 'looking', and we go to midnight church on Christmas Eve.   Christmas music is the part I love best, and I play the piano more during the month of December than any other time.   By New Year's everyone is sick of me and my Jo Anne Castle honky tonk holiday banging.....

Here's hoping for happy holidays for all our A.M. Family!

hugs,
Alan

[Poz Brit]

I am right with you Mark, Hate it all, thankfully we don’t have a thanks giving over here, but we do have The 5th of November, Guy Fawkes Night, a 400 year old event of re burning some bloke and let off firework that causes all sorts of mayhem, it’s totally ridiculous, but there again, I’m old so I'm entitled to be grumpy.

John(UK)

[wellington]

You have to love Guy Fawkes. He may not have blown up the parliament buildings but every year, the entire country goes up in flames as it has done for the last several hundred years. What about Kyoto!?

Christmas is a pain in the ass. All that expectation to give, once a year, and be merry. Why can't we do that on a daily basis? I'm all for a randomly assigned Christmas date for every person at birth

Thanksgiving. Gobble. Gobble. Gobble. I always did like eating meat. And slurping good wine. The awkwardly forced family gathering I could do without. However, it's tollerable thanks to the aforementioned meat and wine.

Hallowe'en. What's not to like? People get to be "not themselves" by drinking, dressing up, carrying on, etc. As far as I'm concerned, I'd like to see this kind of behaviour on a daily basis. Ok. maybe with some sanity but certainly not as much restraint. If I had long hair, I'd be letting it down. As it stands, I'll just put on my cowboy boots, a g-string, and hit the pavement.

Life's what we make it and I thoroughly aim to make this rock a better place than the day I landed.

[bluelove]

Halloween l love ...Used to dress up my kids now l dress up my dog she is going as Big Bird this year.

Thanksgiving well l have two of those and tukey is me!!

As for Christmas my mother had one rule and we follow it to this day. Four presents...

Want it
Read it
Need it
Wear it

It makes for less stress and l only buy for my kids and nieces and nephews now....
And my sisters and l pool together and buy one big and great jigsaw puzzle which we do over the 24 ,25, and 26. I agree though it has  become to retail and it is sad.

[cph9680]

While the commercialism behind Christmas is just disghusting, I still enjoy it.  Our parents still insist on getting us gifts, by my sisters and I don't give anything for Christmas.  Instead, I look forward to about the only time during the year where I get to see my relatives on my mother's side and be with family and all that.  Of course, there's a downfall...having to spend Christmas evening visiting my father's relatives is the closest thing to torture I can tolerate, but then again it's only once a year I have to see them, and I get "paid" $200 for tolerating their ignorant, bigoted, racially ignorant company!
Thanksgiving is nice as well, cos for a poor college student, turkey and dressing sure beats the hell out of those nasty Ramen noodles    And of course, it's also a time to be together with family and reflect on the fact that we managed to make it another year!

Corey

[fearless]

I know what you mean about the stores putting the xmas decorations up earlier and earlier. I noticed that they were up in the Queen Victoria Building this week. It's still October, for Christ's sake. And, I always laugh as the decorations are all northern hemisphere orientated (ie winter) - it's summer here.

I do enjoy Christmas though, not for any religious significance, but because it is summer down here. For me, Christmas means summer holidays, hot weather, bushfires, test match cricket (the Ashes), prawns, barbie's, beaches with lots of beautiful people with very little clothing on and 3 weeks holidays from work. 

Given we are experiencing an unseasonal cold snap here at the moment, I say bring it on and all that is associated with it.

Little Steve

[GSOgymrat]

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Everyone at work knows that is when I go on vacation. Typically I fly to Los Angeles and go to the Halloween festival in West Hollywood with the zillion other people parading around in costume. This year's costume is definitely my most elaborate and I'll post pictures when I have them. My partner is not into it (an understatement) and therefor I usually go with my best friend or alone.

Thanksgiving is always nice but I have to work the holiday this year. Who can have a problem with eating course after course of good food.

I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. My biggest complaint is it lasts too damn long. It's not a day but an entire season! Because of my partner we do the Christmas decorating BIG. I'm talking 2-3 Christmas trees, outside lights, cards, cookies, an army of nut crackers, hundreds of dollars in gifts, hosting get togethers, traveling to see the family and Christmas carols until your ears bleed. It just gets stressful and exhausting. I wish they would pass a law that you can't talk about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. If Christmas were smaller I would love it more. Unfortunately I tried to pull the reins on Christmas one year and my partner still hasn't forgiven me for "the year you ruined Christmas."

[anniebc]

Ok Mark, and all you other guys who hate Xmas...you have to come to NZ for Christmas, the weather will be nice and you get to spend the holidays with my animals.

They can't read ..so no cards needed..and as far as presents go, all they need is a banana skin a carrot and handful of hay each...how easy is that.. they will love you for it and will make your Christmas a very special one..and before anyone even tries to say anything, the answer is NO, none of them will end up as Christmas dinner...

Hugs
Jan
(who loves christmas)

[RAB]

Mark

Like GSO I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas.

Over the years we've scaled back, both on the decorating and the partying/get to gethers.

In our early years, we put up as many as 5 or 6 trees (lived in an apartment then   )  and hosted a HUGE open house.  I really enjoyed those days, it was full of so much excitement, anticipation, and just a lot of fun.  We lived in Seattle back then, Damn Fool's family would come up from Portland and my mom would come from Montana.  8 people in a 3 bedroom apartment was crowded, but you know what, we always had a wonderful time.

In 96 we moved from Seattle, in 99 my mom passed on, in 01 Damn Fool's granny passed.  Now it's just his mom and step day (whom I don't like at all/redneck/homophobe), his sis and brother-in-law. 

Somewhere along the years things changed.

It just isn't the same.

Last year we only put up two trees and I did send out cards.  This year I think I'm doing away with the cards.

I've collected Christmas ornaments for over 35 years.  I've got so many kinds, there are some that I haven't unpacked in over a decade.

One of these years, as a final hurrah, I'll unpack every last ornament, every last string of lights (outdoor/indoor), every wreath, Santa, Nativity Scene, and EVERYTHING will be used.  Then I'll sort through them knowing that it'll be time to start shedding some of the collection.

I miss the days of Hot Cranky Grannies (Grand Marnier w/warm cranberry juice), the beautifully decorated trees, the ribbon, the village under the big tree, the train chugging around the base of another, Christmas morning with the smell of bacon and sausage coming from the kitchen as we opened presents.  Warm booty stockings, piles of used wrapping paper.  A slew of received Christmas cards adorning every doorway, table top, and wall space I could find.

Last year, we adopted a needy family and provided the kids with presents and the family with the fixins of a traditional Christmas dinner (picked by local ASO), we'll do it again this year too.  I liked doing that.

RAB

Edit to add:  I love the idea of feeding Jan's herd hay and bananas!  Do you suppose she'd cook us all Christmas breakfast?  He He He 

RAB

(Who likes his eggs scrambled dry and his bacon crisp.  His coffee strong and sweet!   )

[Queen Tokelove]

I have not been into holidays since I was little. Since I am Pagan, I prefer Halloween or Samhain, not for the candy mind you but for other things..   I have never gotten into Thanksgiving, other than for football games and the free food! I live alone so it doesn't make sense to cook a large dinner plus I hate turkey. So, I usually go to a few friends house to eat. I agree with Mark, Xmas is a depressing time for me because it's suppose to be about family and mine is dysfunctional as hell. It also saddens me every year because my mother's bday is on the 21st and she has passed away. I usually go through a funk til about New Year's Eve then I wait to celebrate my next holiday,my bday! (Jan.12).

I do get comic relief also around Xmas time when I go into Walmart and hear kids say they want everything. I have even seen them hit the floor and throw tantrums. The expressions on the parents' faces are priceless..

[Cheetara74]

I hate the holidays.  It reminds me about the unhappy times.  Allow me to drown my sorrows in vodka.  *sigh*

[Eldon]

Hey Mark,

I got to agree with you here. The holidays is a time where you have an excuse to over-eat. However, it is during these times where you get together with your family and friends and share the tender moments together. My birthday is the day after Christmas so I know what you mean about gifts and stuff. Anyway, just make the BEST of it while you are in each other's company.


Make the BEST of each Day!

[JohnOso]

I like the holidays for two reasons:

1) I get holiday pay at work -- (yippee!).

2) Since I always volunteer to work those days, I get to sit back and watch all the breeders go at it tooth and nail with each other, trying to "outdo" each other with sob stories about why they should be the ones to get the days off.  Like "Little Susie's grandma has been sick all year, and we just don't know if this is gonna be the last holiday together..." or the ever-popular "...but we've been planning this trip ALL YEAR LONG!"

So entertaining!  It's like an episode of "Survivor!"   



John

[poet]

i'd like to jump, from Thanksgiving to Spring, skipping Christmas and New Years Eve.  There is, whether in NYC or here on the Cape, something so peaceful and quiet about Thanksgiving since the stores are usually actually closed, traffic on local roads slows (so much that I was able to walk my dog on the connector reaching Provincetown).  The color is still there in the leaves and it isn't so cold that you know what you will be in for later.  Christmas is something I try to dodge: the noise of it; the ads. promoting SALES; the sense that you are supposed to buy this and buy that to make a 'great holiday.'  And I never understood- but then I'm a morning person- trying to stay up til midnight for the change of the year. Win

[sweetasmeli]

I hate the idea that I have to send card, buy gifts, etc.

You don't have to, Mark.

I stopped 'doing Christmas' 2 years ago.

After moving to Greece, I realised just how irritating I found holiday seasons, especially Christmas; all that insane spending and unnecessary stress. I also recognised how for the previous few years I had just been 'going along' with it all out of habit and ritual and not because I actually wanted to.

I'm not religious, so Christmas is not a religious holiday to me. And I find the commercialism of Christmas ridiculous.

I'm neither a misery nor a scrooge. I love having fun and I love buying gifts for the people in my life. But I will no longer be dictated to by society how and when to do either. I have fun and buy gifts when I want to, simple as that.

So for 2 years, I haven't done Christmas, Easter, Valentines, Mother's Day, Father's Day or any of the made up 'celebration days' that I feel are just more and more excuses for getting people to go nuts and spend their money.

And it feels great!

I text/email/phone/visit/send cards to my friends and family when I feel like it and not because 'I feel like I should'. The same rule applies with buying gifts. And I always do birthdays…when I remember...I see a  birthday as each person's individual special day that is worth acknowledging and celebrating!

I tend to go back to the UK at Christmas because of school holidays and also to split up my hospital appointments equally. I always take presents back from Greece, traditional food stuff for my parents and fun/educational stuff for my 3 nephews, but I make a point of not giving them as Christmas presents; they are simply presents from me; just like any time of the year when I go back for a visit.

Family members still tease me about it, with jokes about the grinch etc, hehe; but they're getting used to it. I don't care; I feel better for my decision. I no longer feel sucked in by society and its ways and I no longer spend time battling with crazy Christmas shoppers in December, nor do I spend ludicrous amounts of money on useless crap that often only gets used/played with until the even crazier Boxing Day/January sales! I also tell my friends/family not to buy me anything…if they insist, I just warn them not to expect anything in return!

Quirky perhaps but liberating!

Melia        

[aztecan]

I probably sounded like Scrooge incarnate, but as others have said, I could probably handle it if xmas only lasted from the day after Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve.

I celebrate Yule, which is a good time for me. My neighbors think I'm nuts because I am in the back yard with a large fire in the fire pit, in December when its usually cold.

I usually decorate, although like RAB, I think its tiime to start downsizing. I don't have space to store all that stuff. Keep it simple, real and, after years of being very selective, decidedly Pagan! 

HUGS,

Mark

[ademas]

Bah humbug.
xox

[David_CA]

I've always enjoyed Christmas.  Maybe it's because I like tradition, and we have a lot of that in my family.  From a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at my Mom's to Christmas to Easter, all the main holidays are a time the family gets together, celebrates, and has fun. 

As a child, my grandparents always came to visit us, which was great.  They'd generally stay for a week or so.  We'd receive and give gifts and have a lot of fun.

As an adult, my grandparents are all dead.  My immediate family, including my sister, my husband, my mom, and her bf all get together for several meals, gifts, and lots of drink.  It's truly a good time.  Often, a friend or two will join us for meals if they don't have anybody to be with.  The week before Christmas, my husband and I always have an informal chili dinner where we invite about 20 friends for beer, chili, and other misc food.  It's the one time of year that I can count on seeing people who are important to me all together in one place.

I still send out a bunch of cards, we put up a tree, decorate the house - inside and outside, and spend too much money on gifts.  It's a fun time to us being together.  My favorite day is Christmas day.  It is so quiet out.  There is almost no traffic.  It's really peaceful.  I guess the biggest reason I like Christmas is because it reminds me so much of my childhood, and I was lucky to have a very happy childhood.

David

[allopathicholistic]

Homo for the holidays = Best title EVER!     

I love Christmas. Big surprise!    (but we stopped with the absurd gifts thing - all that waste - things I didn't even want = clutter blah blah blah)

Love,
A

[Life]

Alex, we can go Christmas Caroling together sweetie...

[allopathicholistic]

Alex, we can go Christmas Caroling together sweetie...

great idea!    - where we going?? do i need a bulletproof vest?! 

[Cherie]

Well l love Christmas and go all out. The tree the lights my bad singing of Little Drummer Boy. I love to bake and bake l do. It is the one time of year l see all my family together and we have fun.

But l know for so many Christmas is a time of pain and not much joy.

I think though just taking in the simple good things makes it easier.

Also my family does not buy for everyone so it makes it easier on the wallet.

So pour me a egg nog and l shall be happy.

[Queen Tokelove]

MMMM,eggnog....I haven't had that in awhile.......

[david25luvit]

This holiday season promises to be a much happier time than the last two years....and I am looking forward to spending
a lot of time with friends and family....

Halloween being no exception.....I fully intend to scare the neighborhood kiddies by dressing up as a BIG BAD WOLF.......passing out candy and treats to all the brave little souls that venture into my yard.

[RobT]

Guys-
Thanksgiving has always been a bad time of the year for me, well it was a better time. It all started a year ago this Thanksgiving that I started taking my meds and the pain of closetting my HIV status to every1 whom I have known. Basically the only person who knew was my bf and my sister and that was it.
I made the decision to get on meds last Thanksgiving cuz I was so worried about seeing my health deteriorate right b4 my eyes and my doc just saying that I need to come in for more testing. Enough w/ the damn tests and give me my meds.
Well eventually over time, I did tell others about my HIV status. Overall many ppl outside of my family were supportive. I wrote a detailed posting here awhile ago of how that went.
That is how the holidays turned up for me in a nutshell. I also do not have the 1 person that makes me happy to spend the holidays w/. Of course, he bought a plane ticket for me, so I will get to spend Xmas and New Years w/ him.
Happy Holidays to every1 else!

RobT

[tsw923]

I have to say -- fall is my FAVORITE time of year.  I do like Halloween since it falls during that time -- but  its my sister's favorite holiday and she goes all out with the decorations :-)  We usually start around the fall solstice with the decorations :-)  Yall should see our house right now!  It will stay like this until after thanksgiving at which point we will switch to Christmas decorations.

But, I have to say Christmas is my FAVORITE holiday.  I will admit that it has gone entirely too retail.   But you don't have to succumb to it.  We usually put up 2 trees, one 'adult' tree for my sister and my tree with the kid/star wars decorations and the musical christmas lights! (this makes my sister NUTS  )   

We've always put a limit on the price of gifts so that's not a big issue.  I'm usually more impressed by the thoughtfulness behind the gift and not the cost anyway.  When I have time I actually make gifts for family and friends.  One year I gave people IOUS that were redeemable for a day with me with that person going to the movies, having dinner, or just hanging out.  (I travel a lot and my family always wants to see me more so this went over really well.)  I make sure I donate to several charities around that time, not just toys but 'necessity' items.  When we were younger my mom would tell us that Santa would bring us 3 gifts.  On Christmas day we would open them up and before we played with them we would decide which one got given to baby Jesus (i.e. taken to a shelter, etc.)  it was something that impressed upon me that Christmas isn't just a time for getting something, but a time for giving too and giving without expecting things in return.  I guess that's the spirit I try to see and put out, especially during that time.

Queen -- i have to say though, I laugh when I see the tantrums that kids put out at the stores.  I don't know, but my parents would NEVER have stood for that.  Best case you would have gotten your butt whipped right in the store.  Worse case, in ADDITION to the butt whipping, on Christmas morning there would be NOTHING under the tree (because Mom had Santa's direct number and she'd tell him not to bring anything). AND you would have to go in your closet to get one of your toys to gift baby Jesus (to most likely thank him that you were still alive after your butt whipping )

[LACboi]

OK lets all go to NZ and spend it with Jan and her beautiful animals.

I like Christmas for that its the birth of our savior Jesus Christ.

I don't like the commercialized Christmas of card giving and gift buying for for people who really don't deserve them. If you can't spend this time of the year with family then spend it with friends. Just enjoy the day for what it is.

Je...

[Basquo]

Well, Hallowe'en is definitely my favorite holiday.  This year I spent the big party night (the Saturday closes to the 31st) in San Antonio with Dancerboy, his ultra-hip mom, Trish and Kcmetroman. We caught Danny's show at Six Flags, and a few others, and had a blast riding roller coasters and doing other amusement park stuff. Tomorrow I am dressing up for the costume contest at work; 1st prize is a flatscreen TV!

I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas.

Me too, although it's more love than hate.  I love it because for many years I worked retail and could never go anywhere other than to see my family for maybe a day.  In my current profession I can take a week if I want to, which helps since now my folks are divorced and I have 2 families to attend to.  I hate the fact that I have to split my time with them, though, and it often involves driving 700 or 800 miles to makes sure everyone gets to hang out with the "fun uncle."

Cards get sent out when they get sent out (average once every 3 years) and I collect yayas throughout the year, usually from garage sales, for presents.  My mom usually gets  gift card from Hobby Lobby, since it was her creative juices that squoze my big head out all those years ago...