Are You A Fool ??

[denb45]

Re: Are You A Fool ??

YES i am , BUT i take care of my health , and I AM attentive to the true realities of this virus !!

I have to agree with you on that, I do the same thing, eat right, workout, get plenty of rest, I don't stress-out over dumb shit about HIV and AIDS, it is, what it is, and after 20 yrs. of dealing with this, ( i'm 52 I was 32 when I tested HIV+)  I'm in a very good place with HIV and AIDS, I have learned to just take things a day-at-time.... your good health and state-of-mind has a great deal to do with how well you will survive  this Virus.........and, I myself ,like a lot of you LTS here know what I'm talking about 

[BT65]

Tim, I haven't checked out yet to see if you're in the LTS forum, but your post touched me.  Yeah Alan, I'm toothless (but I do have dentures, hee), my belly looks pregnant, chicken legs etc. so I can relate to stuff like this.

I'm not surprised people hit the "report to moderator."  Some people just won't face the reality many of us "older ones" live with.

[bocker3]

Some people just won't face the reality many of us "older ones" live with.

There is a reverse to this also -- Some people just won't face that the reality many of us "newer ones"  live with.

Look -- this tired subject of newbie vs. LTS (us vs. them) hasn't surfaced in quite a while, but whenever it does, it becomes a train wreck.  Why?  Because each side has an "I'm right and your wrong" approach.  It's as contentious as any political discussion/advertisement today -- but it needn't be.

I would never, ever minimize the challenges and difficulties that face many who live with this virus.  I am old enough to have seen friends and family suffer and lose their battle with HIV.  I KNOW how bad it was in the early days and how bad it still can be today.  I am fortunate (and I try NEVER to forget it), that taking these meds has enabled my life to go on with very little change.  Will it be like that always?  Who knows, I don't -- but I am hoping that it allows me to be around to see my grandchildren grow up.

Tim -- I think your message is a very important one.  I and other "newer" folks need to not become complacent and forget that, if allowed, this virus will make our lives miserable and kill us.  I do think though, that you would have a greater impact if you adjusted your style.  Calling folks "fools", even indirectly, will shut people off from whatever message you are trying to make -- because I don't think your ultimate message is that people are fools.  Share your experience, but acknowledge that it is yours and others are different.  It could so much more powerful that way.  There is no right or wrong with people's own experiences.  Your reality is right, my reality is right -- because at the end of the day our journeys have been and will be different.  Somewhere down the road either the virus or the meds may extract an immense toll on my body and I may have a far different reality from today.  I can't worry about that -- all I can do is follow some good advice embedded in your message.  Take care of myself, take my meds, reduce stress, etc.......  What is out of my control is..... well, out of my control.  Not worrying about that which I can not control is not sticking my head in the sand or being foolish.  It is, in fact, doing what you are others advocate -- taking care of myself by reducing stress.  Painting everything as awful (again, I know this isn't what you want to portray) could make the newest among us simply throw their hands up and say "What's the point."
So -- I'm happy to see you back, you've always had much to share and can be a great teacher.

Hugs,
Mike
(Who is NOT one who clicked the "report to moderator" button -- in case anyone was wondering)

[Iggy]

I've been a fool many times over in this life and barring death will be a fool for years to come, however I thank you Tim, for the reminder that some things we need not be foolish about.

Educating oneself to the daunting details of this virus and the treatments available is scary enough to make one want to run and either ignore their health or just give up their own ability to handle it whether that takes the form of needing a miracle cure to believing life is doomed.

It's been a process to learn that I have the ability to understand this virus and the reality of it without hysterics and without fear, but also without blind hope and optimism for the sake of it  -  for I see both extremes as blinders that prevent me from seeing the full view of living with HIV.

It is only the unfiltered view that helps me understand and appreciate that what I have is a virus that has caused some damage to my system, and which the meds I now take may have some unpleasant long term effects, is also something that is becoming increasingly better understood and combatted in ways that make my present life and future prospects more attractive then imagined at the time of my conversion.

This is my observations of my own path and life with this virus.  I do think that you, Tim helped shaped that view; I also echo that you utilize the LTS forum as much as possible as I feel the context of your thoughts and view will be better understood by those who have lived the longest with this virus.

[Buckmark]

That thought is not lost on many of us, nor is the eagerness of the moderators to come down on the poster.

Some of the formerly "banished" have a large and vengeful group of detractors. I would have hoped they would take that into account.

Color me disappointed, but not absolutely shocked.

I think it is presumptuous to comment on the reasons why a member reports another to a moderator.  You make it sound like there are a group of vengeful members out to seek retribution in some way.  It is similarly presumptuous to comment on the motivations on the moderators, though by stating they are eager to come down on someone, it seems as if you believe they are complicit with this group.  I see no evidence of either.

Regards,

Henry

[Buckmark]

I'm not surprised at all.  It's part of the denial syndrome and why there are such frightening statistics about new infections.  You know:  Take a pill a day, and all is OK; it's no big deal.  It's just a chronic infection.  It's like diabetes. Take a pill before you go out, and nothing will happen.  Take some pills for a month after you go out, and all will be well.  Etc. 

This has become standard behavior between the LTS and the newbies, between the HIV generations.  I have preached before about the gay generation gap, I know, and have been slammed for it.  Moffie feels this the strongest, I think, and he's also the bravest in addressing this issue--and he's suffered for it.  I feel the same way, but at age 66, I no longer feel it imperative to lay my head on the chopping block when this topic surfaces; I have other concerns and have given up shouting into the wind. 

Well, I guess I just laid it on the block anyway.  Chop away....

If by "standard behavior" you mean that all newbies are denial of the consequences of what it means to contract HIV, I think many of the members and posts here show that is not the case.  And I'm at a loss as to how discussion like this often end up seeming almost adversarial:  LTSers versus newbies.  People end up feeling as if their respective realities are not understood by others.  LTSers sometimes end up feeling like martyrs, and newbies end up feeling like fools.  It can be divisive, and not very conducive to learning. 

I wish we could walk in each other's shoes.  Perhaps we should first seek to understand, and then to be understood (with all due respect to Stephen Covey).

Regards,

Henry

[water duck]

That thought is not lost on many of us, nor is the eagerness of the moderators to come down on the poster.

Some of the formerly "banished" have a large and vengeful group of detractors. I would have hoped they would take that into account.

Color me disappointed, but not absolutely shocked.

Jonathan,

That is HIJACK, as a old timer , you know that well.

What is your message , you could barely contain your vindictiveness, take care , sweetheart, pouring too much of that just might clashed your PC again.

[anniebc]

Jonathan,

That is HIJACK, as a old timer , you know that well.

What is your message , you could barely contain your vindictiveness, take care , sweetheart, pouring too much of that just might clashed your PC again.

Water Duck

Practise what you preach and stick to responding to the OP.

JK..if you can show me where, as a Moderator, I have "come down on the poster" then I will gladly respond to your post.

Hugs
Jan

[atlq]

I have to admit, I don't get the LTS/Newbie antagonism either...as an LTS, I rejoice when I here that newly infected folks are tolerating their meds and enjoying fewer side effects...since I have switched , its been the case for me too, though in different ways....as treatment advances, we are all winning, so lets support each others victories....(Good deed for the day done, now back to posting hot football player pics...lol...)

[mecch]

geez louise i feel like a latecomer to a coctkail party that has degenerated into a vicious cat fight between people I don't know not listening to each other