The new sticking vegetables and dildos up ya arse thread

[tommy246]

Hi heres a thread for anyone who likes to discuss sticking vegetables and dildos up yer arse as some posters got confused and were discussing this in the nutrition section. Enjoy.

[WillyWump]

Hmmm I guess you told us.

-W

[mecch]

Well I was just wondering if we could briefly discuss in this thread the Iranian nuclear threat and Israel's appropriate response.  Iranian eggplants and zucchinis are renown among the foodies for their size, silky smooth lustrous skin, and flavour. And then there's the caviar.  When I'm in Paris I'll have the caviar at petrossian, or maybe a big plate of oysters near the Opera, and soon enough I'll be horny to stick some Persian eggplants up my arse.  Its a luxury I can treat myself to, once and awhile.
Now, while I'll sometimes have no choice in Switzerland but to buy hothouse tomatoes and herbs from Israel, I don't care for the carbon footprint, and resent the fact European supermarkets are offering only imported good for everyday consumption. 
So, basically, if Iran threatens to nuke Israel, and Israel, rightly nukes Iran in preventive strikes, I can kiss my caviar binges and eggplant fucks goodbye.

[Dachshund]

Hi heres a thread for anyone who likes to discuss sticking vegetables and dildos up yer arse as some posters got confused and were discussing this in the nutrition section. Enjoy.

Honey we weren't confused. Unfortunately in some people the virus eradicates any sense of humor.

[Ann]

Unfortunately in some people the virus eradicates any sense of humor.

Too bad there's not a blood test for that. Everyone could include that value in their signature line numbers history so we'd know when to be careful.

[Hellraiser]

Too bad there's not a blood test for that. Everyone could include that value in their signature line numbers history so we'd know when to be careful.

Comedic Enzymes: approaching 0.  =(

[Miss Philicia]

I trust the OP disclosed and took care not to get super-infected.

[Hellraiser]

I trust the OP disclosed and took care not to get super-infected.

The Vegetable Immunodeficiency Virus (VIV) is serious business.

[Rev. Moon]

Honey we weren't confused. Unfortunately in some people the virus eradicates any sense of humor.

Too bad there's not a blood test for that. Everyone could include that value in their signature line numbers history so we'd know when to be careful.

Sense of humor = Undetectable
Passive-Aggressiveness = 2.4 million copies per mL

[leatherman]

emoticons , which are not used here near enough when people are only interjecting "humorous" posts  rather than staying on-topic, were designed with the intent to help with understanding the humor/sarcasm level of online chatter

[Hellraiser]

emoticons , which are not used here near enough when people are only interjecting "humorous" posts  rather than staying on-topic, were designed with the intent to help with understanding the humor/sarcasm level of online chatter

Love ya, but too much is worse than not enough!

[Rev. Moon]

emoticons , which are not used here near enough when people are only interjecting "humorous" posts  rather than staying on-topic, were designed with the intent to help with understanding the humor/sarcasm level of online chatter

And seeing more than one emoticon in a paragraph makes me want to vomit.  So... No.

[Miss Philicia]

I wish there was an emoticon for corpses.

[Dachshund]

Most people are sophisticated enough to "get" humor without visual aids. Putting a   behind a dumb comment changes nothing, it's still dumb.

[Assurbanipal]

And seeing more than one emoticon in a paragraph makes me want to vomit.  So... No.

Stand back 

[Rev. Moon]

Stand back 

[MitchMiller]

Has anyone tried coffee suppositories?

http://www.peak-health-now.com/xeneplex_coffee_suppositories.html

[denb45]

Has anyone tried coffee suppositories?

http://www.peak-health-now.com/xeneplex_coffee_suppositories.html

I rather drink my coffee then put it up my ass 

[sharkdiver]

I rather drink my coffee then put it up my ass 

ah come on, i heard it's all the rage in Costa Rica.

[tommy246]

i bet  you all have a gang hut where you meet up occasionally .

[Ann]

i bet  you all have a gang hut where you meet up occasionally .

It's called a cottage.

[Rev. Moon]

i bet  you all have a gang hut where you meet up occasionally .

Yessum, we hold a weekly bacchanalia with vegetables and coconut oil.  At the end we hold an intense exploration of our sensory pleasures in a hyperbaric chamber.  Cuz we's got good friends, a positive attitude about teh AIDS, and lots of fundages.

[Oceanbeach]

Since becoming infected with HIV, I prefer to be a "top" and in consideration, we should have a special thread for people who put their vegetables/dildos up the arse of others     Have the best day
Michael

[phildinftlaudy]

I don't really feel like discussing sticking vegetables and dildos up my ass in this thread - been there done that -

perhaps, we could talk about what vitamins and nutritional supplements everyone is taking?   

Just a thought -- 

[Miss Philicia]

perhaps, we could talk about what vitamins and nutritional supplements everyone is taking?   

I knew you took teh vitamins, u filthy little liar!

::puts philthyNftl on ignore::

[phildinftlaudy]

I knew you took teh vitamins, u filthy little liar!

::puts philthyNftl on ignore::

Ms. P - Please don't put me on ignore --- I feel a hole in my heart, an emptiness in my stomach --- but strangely my sinuses suddenly cleared up

Oh and for the record - no vitamins or supplements here --- I have a bottle of B-Complex in the med cabinet that has been there full (less 1 pill) for about a year.

[jkinatl2]

I go through my gummi vitamins pretty fast.

[Rev. Moon]

I go through my gummi vitamins pretty fast.

I wash down my Atripla every night with a delicious tea made with echinacea and St. John's wort.

[phildinftlaudy]

I wash down my Atripla every night with a delicious tea made with echinacea and St. John's wort.

I had a wart once ---
several - nothing a little lasor therapy and deep freeze couldn't take care of - never thought of using it with tea --- what a great supplement.

[Rev. Moon]

I had a wart once ---
several - nothing a little lasor therapy and deep freeze couldn't take care of - never thought of using it with tea --- what a great supplement.

was it an anal wart, you sex obssessed sodomite? 

[Jeff G]

Never use corn as a dildo you will just confuse your asshole .

[phildinftlaudy]

was it an anal wart, you sex obssessed sodomite? 

well yes of course - i wouldn't be a good gay pozzie if I hadn't had a bout of the "a" warts -

they probably make for some tasty nutritious tea -

Much more nutritional value then your run of the miill wart or plantar wart -

Of course, these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration -

But, they would probably be cheaper then most of the other supplements that people spend money on -

[mecch]

I wash down my Atripla every night with a delicious tea made with echinacea and St. John's wort.

I thought echinacea was a no no for HIV+ people.

[Rev. Moon]

I thought echinacea was a no no for HIV+ people.

you got that right, love.  And the St. John's wort is supposed to be a no-no for acripla users as there is some negative interaction with the drug.

[northernguy]

I rather drink my coffee then put it up my ass 

There's a very striking Filipino barrista at my local Starbucks I'd love to put up my ass.  Coffee would be optional.

[phildinftlaudy]

you got that right, love.  And the St. John's wort is supposed to be a no-no for acripla users as there is some negative interaction with the drug.

How did a saint get so famous as to have a wart named after him?  Is this related to another catholic priest sex scandal???

[mecch]

Ah you didnt use the   so I was confused.  I dont shove persian eggplants up my ass.  or do i? so confusing

[Rev. Moon]

How did a saint get so famous as to have a wart named after him?  Is this related to another catholic priest sex scandal???

Possibly maybe.  He must have been playing hide the cucumber with an uncircumcised Roman leader.  According to shittypedia the plant is also called chase-devil.  He also had spelling issues.

Ah you didnt use the  so I was confused.  I dont shove persian eggplants up my ass.  or do i? so confusing

I know, I keep forgetting the smileys.  Not taking my vitamins is affecting mah memory.

[phildinftlaudy]

Possibly maybe.  He must have been playing hide the cucumber with an uncircumcised Roman leader.  According to shittypedia the plant is also called chase-devil.  He also had spelling issues.

I know, I keep forgetting the smileys.  Not taking my vitamins is affecting mah memory.

In this day and age of spel chek I can't figure out why peopl can't spell wright.  So annoying.

If you take ginko that will help with the memory issues related to the use of emoticons.

I just took a handful of them   

[Rev. Moon]

In this day and age of spel chek I can't figure out why peopl can't spell wright.  So annoying.

If you take ginko that will help with the memory issues related to the use of emoticons.

I just took a handful of them   

Ginko gives me headaches.  I'd rather snort poppers.

[phildinftlaudy]

Ginko gives me headaches.  I'd rather snort poppers.

Snorting poppers helpeed me to becum a better spellor.

[Oceanbeach]

(_o_)     Have the best day
Michael
(with admiration of Rondrond for the Butticon creations)

[BT65]

Well, I don't know about sticking veggies and dildos up my ass, but I can think of another place.  And it's just about that time of night, too.

[Ann]

Well, I don't know about sticking veggies and dildos up my ass, but I can think of another place.  And it's just about that time of night, too.

How about both at once? Woman, I thought you knew this stuff.

[aztecan]

Well, there was this ex con who I met just a day or so after he got out of prison.

He had this thing for oily Armenian cucumbers. The fun part was, after the fun, we ate the evidence.

HUGS,

Mark

[Snowangel]

Never use corn as a dildo you will just confuse your asshole .

I think this might be the funniest thread I have ever read, you guys had me rolling....ooohh had to stop myself from using an emoticon. My bad.

[phildinftlaudy]

PHILDINFTLAUDY'S TOP 10 REASONS FOR STICKING A VEGETABLE AND DILDO UP YOUR ARSE (based on David Letterman's Top 10 List Concept)

10. Vegetables and Dildos - if cleaned properly - contain absolutely no risk of transmitting HIV.  (this one is for Ann, RapidRod, Rev, Matty, Andy, David, and the rest of the AMI thread moderators)
9.  Using vegetables and dildos saves on the cost of condoms
8.  Vegetables and dildos don't talk back
7.  Vegetables and dildos usually have more endurance then some of our previous hook ups
6.  Can kill two birds with one stone when using vegetables - sexual satisfaction and a nice dinner salad
5.  Don't have to pay for cab fare after finishing the "deed"
4.  Eliminates the need to say "Wow, I could've had a V-8" after being dissatisfied with a human partner
3.  Different vegetables available for different seasons adds variety to your sex life
2.  Helps in our efforts of "going green" and lowers carbon footprint (biodegradeable - break down easier than condoms)
and the number 1 reason for sticking vegetables and dildos up your ass -
1.  Sure as hell beats taking a vitamin or other supplement - and probably more effective in making you feel better 

[WillyWump]

I cant say I've ever had a veggie up the chute, however years ago I put a Hillshire Farm sausage up there (with a condom of course) to see how a penis might feel. That seemed to go Ok, so of course I graduated to Penis's

-Will

[phildinftlaudy]

I cant say I've ever had a veggie up the chute, however years ago I put a Hillshire Farm sausage up there (with a condom of course) to see how a penis might feel. That seemed to go Ok, so of course I graduated to Penis's

-Will

Will, you brought back my memory of putting a hotdog up the arse when I was about 13, I stuck it too far up and almost was not able to pull it back out.  I was scared to death that I was going to have to call my parents in and tell them I had a weiner stuck up my ass.

It taught me a valuable lesson -- size does matter.

[Rev. Moon]

I cant say I've ever had a veggie up the chute, however years ago I put a Hillshire Farm sausage up there (with a condom of course) to see how a penis might feel. That seemed to go Ok, so of course I graduated to Penis's

-Will

And got yourself an HIV scholarship.