Should I get tested?

[mysteriousm]

4 months ago, I gave a classmate of mine a hand job. Now I actually didn't finish for him, I basically just helped. Since it was really cold, we used snow as lubricant (pretty weird I know). I didn't come in contact with semen, but I might have come in contact with some pre-cum. I'm not sure. Also, I'm not sure if I had any cuts on my hand. I know I didn't have any huge open cuts that were gushing blood (because I wouldn't have given the hand job), but I might have had a healing paper cut.

I asked this guy and he said he has never had sex before, which is believable since he's not the type of person to go sleeping around. But then again, who knows.

I'm wondering if I should get tested for HIV. Let's say that he didn't have sex, but maybe he got it from his mother? Or maybe he did have sex, and is just lying?

[jkinatl2]

There is no way you can get HIV from giving (or getting) a hand job. Even with cuts and whatnot on your hand.

HIV is a fragile virus, and the only documented sexual transmission vectors are:

Penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex.

That is all. Nothing else.

Wear a condom for penetrative sex and you will avoid HIV. It really is that simple.

[mysteriousm]

I don't think there's "no" way. I think the risk is just very small.

But thanks anyways.

[mysteriousm]

If anyone else has opinions on this matter that would be great.

[jkinatl2]

I don't think there's "no" way. I think the risk is just very small.

But thanks anyways.

There has never been a documented case of anyone getting HIV from the events as you describe them.

There has never even been an IMPLICATION of HIV being transmitted in this manner.

HIV is a VIRUS which contains VERY SPECIFIC elements which attach to VERY SPECIFIC cells. This transmission cannot take place outside the body, and it certainly cannot take place without access to specific cells found inside the male urethra, the female vagina,and the anus.

You can "think" that the risk is just very small," but your thoughts are not based in any way on scientific fact.

Only a very few members of this forum are allowed to give risk assessment on this forum. The ones who are allowed to do so have demonstrated years, in some cases decades, plural, of intensive study as regards HIV. I am certain another authorized person will come along shortly and give you another version of the same answer.

Please take the time to read this site's lessons on transmission. I helped to author them.

[mysteriousm]

Ok fair enough. Thank you for the informative answer.

[Ann]

Myst,

As JK has told you, hiv transmission absolutely will not take place during a handjob.

For future reference, you can't ever go by what a person tells you about their hiv status. Many people honesty think they're hiv negative, but just don't yet know that they've been infected. Sometimes people lie. You need to assume that ANYONE you have anal or vaginal intercourse with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly by using condoms.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER A HANDJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[mysteriousm]

Ok, thank you for the information. It makes sense. Just wondering though, how would lesbians get HIV if they don't have either anal or vaginal sex?

[jkinatl2]

Ok, thank you for the information. It makes sense. Just wondering though, how would lesbians get HIV if they don't have either anal or vaginal sex?

Short answer is, they don't.

Look at the history of the pandemic. The lesbian community remained almost totally untouched - and it remains so today.

While there are lesbians (or more accurately, women in same sex relationships) who do have HIV, they did not acquire it from sexual activity with a female. Sexual activity with a male, or sharing IV drug injecting needles is the culprit in those cases.

[mysteriousm]

I'm wondering... If a M+M couple or M+F couple have unprotected vaginal or anal sex, and one partner is infected, what are the chances that the other will have hiv?

Let's say in this hypothetical situation, that the uninfected person didn't know that their partner was infected and didn't bother getting tested.

[Andy Velez]

We're not up for guessing and speculative games here.

Our focus is on the concerns of those who have had specific experiences and are concerned about them.

I will add about longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight. They had lots of unprotected mutual oral and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse. Not a single negative partner became infected during the long studies.

[mysteriousm]

About 1/2 months after the handjob I showed these strange symptoms. One day, all of a sudden, I had this immense weakness, nausea and what appeared to be a fever. The nausea continued throughout the day and at night it got to the point where I thought I was going to vomit.

Now, approximately 5 months after the handjob, I'm noticing some white coating on my tongue. It's cottage cheese like and cannot be scrapped off.

Are you guys sure these aren't symptoms of hiv?

[mysteriousm]

I should also add that my flu like symptoms only lasted a day. Their uprising was very sudden and they dissapeared the next morning. Could that be my body fighting against hiv?

[Andy Velez]

You were not at risk for HIV. Your white tongue is something for you to discuss with your doctor if you are concerned about it.

We're not going to participate in more back and forths about a totally non-risk situation. If you come back about this one again you will find yourself getting a Time Out for 28 days. Cut out the self-created drama about HIV and get on with your life. Really.