Appreciate if you can help

[sabo98]

Hi,

I was in thailand on holidays and one of the nights, after a few drinks, decided to have sex with a sex worker.  I received a blowjob several times but wore a condom every time. We also engaged in some deep french kissing.  I am afraid of having sex because of the fear of being infected with hiv (even with a condom on) but once the alcohol kicked in, I decided to go ahead and penerate (vaginal sex, with a condom on).  I thrusted for 2 or 3 minutes and realised I was too anxious to continue so I withdrew and checked the condom by stretching it.  It appeared to be still intact.  I got the girl to check it as well and she had a look before throwing it out and said it wasn't broken.

I am also concerned about another incident with an escort (also from thailand).  I stayed with her for the rest of the holiday.  I had vaginal sex and used a condom every time but on 1 or 2 occassions I remember that after fingering her, I had plenty of her vaginal secretions on my fingers.  When I went to put the condom on, I'm sure that some of the secretions came into contact with the head of my penis and also on the inside of the condom as I was rolling it onto my penis.  I also performed cunnilingus on her once or twice.  That may have been coincided with her periods.  She mentioned she'd been having period pain but silly me didn't pay attention until it was all over.

Since my anxiety has always got the better of me, in the past I've gotten into the vicious circle of sex then wait out the window period and worry like hell, then test...and it goes on.  I am mentally and emotionally exhausted from this habit but now I just cant resist the urge to test after what I've described above.

do i need to test for hiv based on what I have described above?

thanks for your time - I greatly appreciate any input you may have.

[Ann]

sabo,

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection - and that includes when you may have vaginal fluids on your hand when you put the condom on. In order for there to be a risk, your penis needs to be INSIDE the vagina, UNPROTECTED. Keep using those condoms.

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER YOUR THAI EXPERIENCES, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[sabo98]

thanks for your reply.

I didn't notice there to be any blood (due to periods) when I was going down on her but my mind now is telling me "what if there was blood and I happened to swallow some"?.  Would it change your response regarding the risk ?

[Matty the Damned]

No, the presence or absence of blood when you go down on a woman makes no difference. Performing oral sex on a woman is not a risk for HIV transmission.

MtD

[Andy Velez]

Sabo, your own saliva contains over 14 elements which very effectively impair HIV's ability to be transmitted. Although theoretically transmission is possible via cunnilingus, in the real world of HIV we know it doesn't happen that way. You are worrying needlessly.

There's no need for testing nor for further concern.

[sabo98]

From Ann's explanation, secretions produced by the bartholin's glands has (roughly) the same hiv concentration
as other non infectious fluids such as saliva / tears etc and therefore coming into contact with these secretions would not cause transmission.
So, the theoritical way in which transmission could occur would be through getting cervicovaginal fluid into the mouth ?

I'm still a little confused about the risk when menstrual blood is present - so really, there isn't a risk even if blood was present ?  I still don't understand why the presence of menstrual blood would not increase the risk.

I think I'm going mad over this.

[Ann]

sabo,

Re-read the explanation of how the mouth protects us against many pathogens - not just hiv.

You didn't have a risk. If you can't put this behind you, test at three months, collect your negative result and get on with your life.

Ann

[sabo98]

i'm back.  more thoughts are coming to mind.

i recall one time during foreplay (yet to put a condom on) our genitals were rubbing against each other but i think during this time the head of my penis may have gone in about a 2 or 3cm. 
do i need to be worried?

sorry if i am posting excessively but i dont have anyone else to talk to about this

[Ann]

sabo,

It sounds to me like you're starting to imagine things that didn't happen and getting into the territory of "what if". "What if" isn't a good place to go.

What you've described up to now was not a risk. If you have doubts about your hiv status, then the only thing to do is test. Just don't be surprised when you get a negative result.

Keep using those condoms and you'll be fine where hiv is concerned.

Ann

[sabo98]

Hi,

I've been staying a safe as possible since my last post on this forum.  Always practice safe sex and tested several times for HIV.

I'm currently on holidays and freaking outabout my encounter tha i had last night with a ladyboy (male to female).  Protected sex.  Received unprotected oral but did not give him/her oral...however....as I was sucking the nipples I could tase fluid .  got only a little in my mouth .  I came to realise that he/she was lacatating.
I've read other posts regarding women lactating and that the risk for adults acquiring hiv from ingesting these fluids is low.

does the same apply for milk/secretion from a ladyboys nipples? should I get tested?

appreciate your help.

thanks

[Andy Velez]

I've merged your threads here. In the future if you write in again, please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

Once again you are worrying needlessly. Sucking a nipple of a lactating woman is only a risk for an infant but not for an adult. Your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV orally.

To repeat, the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as you use condoms consistently for those activities you will be well protected. It really is that simple.

There's no need for further concern about this incident.