User

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 25, 2024, 05:04:33 am

Login with username, password and session length


Forums Index

Stats

Members
  • Total Members: 37651
  • Latest: Toropi_
Stats
  • Total Posts: 773288
  • Total Topics: 66348
  • Online Today: 651
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 616
Total: 618

Search

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.
« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: New to everything!  (Read 5002 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline UmaJewels

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
New to everything!
« on: July 12, 2012, 10:25:21 pm »
Hi Everyone!

First of all, thank you to everyone that has devoted so much time, energy, effort, funds, and love to this community!

Now, here's my short story: I have been long-distance "dating" this guy for a while. He just recently found out that he is positive (I am negative). He is moving to the city where I live in a few weeks. We've never met in person, so there is all of that general anxiety about a first meet (will there really be chemistry? what will happen? etc.), plus the HIV+ stressors thrown on top of it all. I am being as supportive as I can since we aren't face to face, but I am very uneducated about the whole process of being newly diagnosed, safe sex, and what daily life is like for an HIV+ person. Naturally, I have many many questions: what does it mean for ME if his virus loads ARE detectable? Undetectable? If we become intimate, should we wait until his viral load is undetectable? I don't understand any of it.

As far as sex goes, we are both very hesitant. I don't like to sleep with someone until I really get to know them, but I don't want him to feel like I'm rejecting him because of his status. He is very hesitant to let me perform oral sex on him, what are the risks to me by performing oral sex on him? Do we HAVE to use a condom? I know the .gov websites recommend condom usage and saran wrap usage EVERY time for oral sex and rimming, but testimony on these forums suggest otherwise. I'm just confused and would like to know!

I am very concerned about giving him a cold or flu or something I might have. Does this happen often with "magnetic" couples? I am disease free as far as I know, but I fear giving him something awful that I don't know about. If I catch a cold, do I just avoid him until I've recovered? Also, I have warts on my chin that I have been trying to get rid of for 2 years. I've tried everything! Creams, freezing, chemo medicine, etc. I just can't get rid of them! My dermatologist said he would use lasers as a last resort because it could cause them to spread... my point is: I have some TOUGH warts on my chin and I don't want to spread them to him. Should we avoid kissing?

That's all I can think of for now. Thanks for any advice or help in advance! I'll check this thread daily for replies. Thanks again for everything you all do by just existing.
Logged

Offline Rockin

  • Member
  • Posts: 507
Re: New to everything!
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2012, 05:46:23 pm »
Hey Uma, welcome.

As long as you use condoms you are under no risk at all, regardless of him being undetectable or not.

As for oral sex what I know is that if the HIV+ is undetectable, the risk is practically zero. If his VL is high I believe there might be some risk, albeit very small as well. And no, you can't get it through rimming.

You have to talk to him about this. If he is under treatment, his overall health, etc. But as long he is under treatment and is responding well to the medication catching a cold won't be a big problem.

And do not worry about your warts, they are not a "threat" to him either.
Logged

Offline UmaJewels

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: New to everything!
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2012, 09:36:40 pm »
Quote from: Rockin on July 18, 2012, 05:46:23 pm
Hey Uma, welcome.

As long as you use condoms you are under no risk at all, regardless of him being undetectable or not.


And do not worry about your warts, they are not a "threat" to him either.

Thank you so much sir! I really appreciate your response!
Logged

Offline Rockin

  • Member
  • Posts: 507
Re: New to everything!
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2012, 09:15:47 am »
Quote from: UmaJewels on July 18, 2012, 09:36:40 pm
Thank you so much sir! I really appreciate your response!

No problem, you're welcome. If you have further questions please let us know.
Logged

Offline Rockin

  • Member
  • Posts: 507
Re: New to everything!
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2012, 09:17:35 am »
Quote from: Rockin on July 19, 2012, 09:15:47 am
No problem, you're welcome. If you have further questions please let us know.

Hey Uma, you should check this article, is has some further explanations on this:

http://www.aidsmap.com/Swiss-experts-say-individuals-with-undetectable-viral-load-and-no-STI-cannot-transmit-HIV-during-sex/page/1429357/
Logged

Offline UmaJewels

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: New to everything!
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2012, 08:40:12 pm »
Quote from: Rockin on July 19, 2012, 09:17:35 am
Hey Uma, you should check this article, is has some further explanations on this:

Thanks again! That was an interesting article. After reading through a lot of this site and it's resources, my nerves have been calmed quite a bit :)
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.