What your airline pilot REALLY wishes he could say from the cockpit

[minismom]

I read this in the Reader's Digest from July 2008 and thought it was perfect timing since most of us will be flying in 2wks.  It was written by Patrick Smith.

"Welcome aboard.  Our flying time this afternoon, not counting ground delays and holding patterns, will be two hours and thirty minutes.

Before we take off, I would like to apologize on behalf of this and every airline for the hassle you just endured at the security checkpoint.  As is patently obvious to any reasonable person, the humiliating shoe removals, liquids ban, and pointy-object confiscations do little to make us safer.

Unfortunately, the govenment insists that security theater, and not actual security, is in the nation's best interest.    f it makes you feel any better, our crew had to endure the same screening as the passengers.  Never mind that the baggage loaders, cleaners, caterers, and refuelers receive only occasional random screening.  You can rest easy knowing that I do not have a pair of scissors or an over-sized shampoo bottle anywhere in my carry-on luggage.

Just a moment." 

Mum (who bought a bunch of 3oz plastic containers for all my Bath and Beauty products)

[mjmel]

The humor here brings out the absurdity of having the pilots go through screening like everyone else.
C'mon! If the pilots want to crash the plane how is security check going to foil their plans once they are seated behind the controls with heavily secured door in lockdown.

Mike

[minismom]

Mike, you want to know something even funnier?  Except for take-off and landing, the pilot doesn't even "fly" the plane - autopilot and the computer do.  The pilot simply inputs the information given him by the tower.

Mum (who got her info. from her father who's been flying for over 40yrs)