Not As Safe As I Thought

[earlybirdy]

I'd always practiced what I thought was safe sex so I was surprised to be diagnosed with HIV 6 months ago. I guess too much practice, and not safe enough. My behavior was influenced by a lot of the discussion I read about how difficult it was to contract HIV and how only a very limited number of activities are a serious risk. Anyway I thought carefully about my behavior and can only imagine I contracted it from one of the following 3.

1. Swallowing cum. I like to and would with nearly every partner, 1 or 2 times a week. People say this is a 'theoretical' risk, but with the relatively high rate of potential mother to child transmission through breastmilk, I wonder if there is an underestimated risk here.

2. Counterfeit condoms. I looked more closely at the condoms I had been using after my diagnosis and some were counterfeit. None had failed(burst) and they acted in the way condoms do, but again this is something I wish I had been more careful about.

3. That guy who spat in my hole. There is a paper that suggests that using saliva as a lube can increase risk, so i guess spitting into gaping asshole is probably a risk that is not discussed. Not a lot of people's idea of fun either.

Currently I'm guessing it was number 3, but I'd welcome a discussion or members thoughts on the various risks of these activities.

Finally I should say I am in a high risk group (M2M) and was playing in a very high risk environment (10-30% infected). Wish I'd taken truvada.

[Jim Allen]

Look overall you took risks, sex and life comes with risks, and I am truly sorry to hear of your diagnosis, stressing on the how and focusing on it is not going to do much good and I hope you move past this train of thought. 

3:
Spitting on your hole is not in itself a HIV risk.

But using spit as lubricate to be blunt creates a really silly risk as it does not sufficiently lubricate and that lack of lubrication can cause damage to mucus lining, tearing, and increase friction and condom failure.

Using spit as lubricate is simply a bad idea, and not advised at all, using correct lubrication so condom safe water-based lubricant is the way to go.

1:
Breast-milk and babies infections are only seen in infants as the infants body, the mouth, the gums and immune system is different and still developing. Sucking a breast is not a risk for adults also it lacks quantity of HIV to infect an adult.

Anyhow I am not sure why you think its a link to giving a BJ?

Sure giving a BJ is a low level risk, see overall its a negligible risk as the mouth in itself does not have the cells for HIV to infect so it lacks route however damage to the mouth and tissue layers can provide route, and ejaculate contains sufficient levels of HIV to cause infection but even than it a low risk and one that people should test yearly for. But overall its one of the reasons why there are so few cases.

2)
We had an issue like this only a year or two ago, yes buying tested and approved condoms is also recommended.

Jim

[earlybirdy]

Thanks Jim. I'm not too hung up about it, but still kind of curious. Also, I just wanted to share some risks that I took that I wish I hadn't. I hope it will be helpful or cautionary to anyone with a similar lifestyle. Thanks for your efforts in hosting and moderating this forum, it's a kind service and I'm grateful for it.

[Jim Allen]

Well this is the prevention section so going forward, I can only say start use condoms correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions, to reduce your STI risks and test yearly.

Co-infections are not much fun.

Jim