yet another

[libertine]

Hello there, so yes. I've come to join the ranks.

I found out a week ago and actually have been doing pretty well. I thought I'd go to pieces but I haven't yet. My first set of numbers were pretty good as well, I had a partner a long time ago who was pos so hey, at least I know how to read the numbers and things.

I'm coming across a lot calmer than I am I think! The only thing I'm really worried about now is the fact I just moved country to do a year at uni so I'm a bit stranded when it comes to finding a good doctor. But I'll start hunting right away I guess. The thing I was most afraid of was my bloke leaving. But he didn't, well, only for a few hours to get really drunk then stagger home, tell me it didn't matter and have me clean up after him. Almost a shame he stayed really... I'm generally quite flippant about things, just so you all don't think that I don't give a toss. I do. I just don't see the point in breaking down. Actually, I seem to be doing better mentally since I've been told about it. Ridiculous huh?

Um, yes, so that's me.

Hello 

[next2u]

I tested positive 5 days ago. I too had a similiar response. My aunt and cousin are HIV positive and I have been active in the gay community for sometime - basically I knew it was a possibility and that people do survive this. While I am scared shitless, there is still a calm facade to be found throughout the day. I am getting better and am working on developing a superb support group. Do you have a support group or network? So far all the blokes in here have been great, I am really happy to have found this place. What is it like for you, a week later, waking up? I am happy to hear the bf stayed too. Please post your numbers at sometime, I have not had my bloodwork done and don't really know what to expect. Keep your head up and try to stay in good spirits.

 

[xyahka]

Hi glad to hear you both are doing fine after diagnosed, i have always though that despite the impact of the diagnosis... there are lot of reasons nowadays to keep the hope for a better future and i believe our quality of living will keep on improving with the years.

Bittersweet to say... but welcome to the forums. Count with us.

Cheers,

Juan Carlos

[libertine]

Thanks for the replies. I've been doing ok the last week, apart from some excessive drinking and going out. I don't really have a support group here because I just moved country. I suppose I should work on gathering people around me but I'm finding it really hard to tell anyone about this, I just want to carry on as normal really, it seems as though other people would be more worried than I am. I'm so pleased I found this place, still nervous about posting.

What's it like waking up? It's the first thing I think of. It feels like the morning of an exam every day. But I guess that'll go over time, I mean we can't spend the rest of our lives thinking about it every waking moment can we? Although quitting smoking is probably contributing to the sick/nervous feeling.

My numbers are currently cd4 480 vl 2000 which my doctor seemed to think was a bit weird so i'm going back for more tests in a month. He didn't say why it was weird though. So who knows?!