My situation

[wearegonzo]

I am a straight male, 19 years old, healthy, non-drug user, circumcised.  About 2 months ago, I had a casual sexual encounter with a woman I met on Craigslist but do not know at all and have no contact with.  (This was a purely casual encounter, no exchange of money, drugs, etc.)

While it began protected (as it was for at least 3/4 of the time), at the very end the condom was removed for a blowjob before she reinserted (unprotected) for me to finish.  She said she was HIV/STI free, but I have no way of verifying this.  The unprotected portion lasted around 5 minutes before I ejaculated.  She left, and we have not talked since.  Immediately after the encounter (while this probably is irrelevant, means nothing, and will sound stupid), I sprayed my genitals with Lysol, dipped the head of my penis in hard liquor, and cleaned the pubic area thoroughly.

For the next few weeks, I exhibited no major signs of any STI.  About two weeks after, I did feel somewhat sick, but only with symptoms reminiscent of a sinus headache.  I had one mouth ulcer around the same time.  About 6 weeks after the encounter, I started having symptoms of less appetite, tiredness, sore throat, and a mucusy cough that have been coming and going since then.  Still, not anything to judge from, especially as far as HIV.  I have had diarrhea 3 or 4 times since then, but each incident has been spaced out.

8 weeks after my encounter, I received a rapid HIV test (oral) just to be safe which came back negative.  I am taking this to be somewhat definitive, but will get tested again in a few months just to be sure.

I would not be worried at all since my encounter was relatively low risk and my test was negative, except for this: beginning about 3 weeks ago (approx. 5.5 weeks after my other encounter), I started having unprotected sex with a girl. This has happened about 10 times since then, but with no unprotected ejaculation, only precum.

However, about a week and a half after our first time unprotected, she began to complain of fatigue, lack of appetite, and dry cough. There could also be a fever present as well, but she has not taken her temperature. Now she has developed a noticeable rash. This has all persisted for the past week.

Is there any ANY reasonable chance at all that 1) I could have HIV that didn't show up with my 8-week test and 2) if so, I could have passed it along to her through precum and she got infected right away?

[jkinatl2]

Several major points to make here.

One: Your risk was on the lower end of high. It was lower only relative to unprotected receptive vaginal sex, and unprotected anal sex.

However, a negative result at eight weeks is all but definitive. Except that you are still having unprotected sex with a woman of unknown status. Until the two of you are in a securely monogamous relationship and have BOTH tested negative for STDs including (of course) HIV, then you should be wearing a condom. It's not WHO you do it with, only WHAT you do. Many people with HIV don't even realize they are infected, and for all you know you are exposing yourself to undiagnosed HIV over and over here.

You might have dodged a bullet as regards HIV, but were you aware that syphilis shares a three month testing window with HIV? Moreover, you could easily have one of the other, easily transmitted STDs like gonorrhea and chlamydia - both of these can be totally asymptomatic in males, but can cause considerable long term damage to females.

WHat I would recommend is that you wear a condom until the BOTH of you have gone through the three month testing window, test conclusively negative for STDs (including, of course, HIV) and have agreed to be in a mutually monogamous relationship.

You and your new girl are both taking HUGE risks with your health - and with one another's health. If you respect her, you need to wear a condom, at least for the next three months while you BOTH pursue STD testing.

Finally, dipping your penis in hard liquor is just a waste of hard liquor, unless you drank it after. Spraying with Lysol and dipping your penis in alcohol is hugely ineffective in preventing STDs after unprotected penetrative sex. In addition, it could make you vulnerable to a urinary tract infection by drying out sensitive tissues.

PLEASE wear a condom.

[Ann]

Wear,

Jonathan is spot-on in everything he said, so I won't repeat it. I just want to stress the fact that you REALLY need to wise up and start using condoms. It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it. Keep those three letters in the correct order when you're thinking about protecting your sexual health. It's imperative.

While you're highly unlikely to end up positive over the Craigs List woman (because of your eight week negative), the jury is still out where the woman you're dating is concerned. WISE. UP. Before it's too late.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann