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Author Topic: Life as a Straight Male  (Read 3604 times)

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Offline Arsenal12

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Life as a Straight Male
« on: January 02, 2008, 06:48:02 pm »
I ask myself the following:

You meet a woman who is geographically undesirable. What then? How far do you go? What sacrifices are you willing to make? How good do you want your life to be?

I have been single now for 6 years. I am getting very lonely. I live in a community that is very democratic, but very conservative when it comes to being open about HIV/AIDS. I have yet to find one straight positive women within 10 miles that I am seriously interested in starting a relationship with.

So one of my New Years Resolution is to do what it takes to meet a real nice lady even that means traveling outside my local community (I have to be real honest about this part - she has to live within the state of CA).


HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2008
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Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2008, 06:49:24 pm »
Well, good luck Arsenal.  And welcome to the forums.
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Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2008, 06:56:21 pm »
Hey Arsenal,

Welcome to the forums.  I know all too well the difficulties of a long distance relationship.  Try living 5000 miles apart, it ain't easy.

Hope to see you around,

Dan
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Offline Arsenal12

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2008, 07:15:26 pm »
Thanks for the welcome. Today I sent a email to someone I met online (she contact me first) back in April. I said in the email that I am willing to make all the sacrifices necessary to take our friendship to another level. Because in the end I feel that my life will be outstanding with her.
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Offline mjmel

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  • Posts: 2,069
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2008, 07:16:42 pm »
You say you're ready now to leave the familiar......the comfort zone? Good luck on your quest and I do hope you find a match for yourself. Winning smile there, Arsenal.
Welcome to the Forum.

Mike M
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Offline vivyt

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  • Posts: 565
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2008, 07:18:46 pm »
Well not that I am saying we would be a match, but I live in CA...
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Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2008, 09:17:15 pm »
I definitely know how you feel. I have come across some interesting poz men but they live so far away. I hope you find what you're searching for.
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Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline komnaes

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Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2008, 10:38:40 pm »
Quote from: Arsenal12 on January 02, 2008, 07:15:26 pm
Thanks for the welcome. Today I sent a email to someone I met online (she contact me first) back in April. I said in the email that I am willing to make all the sacrifices necessary to take our friendship to another level. Because in the end I feel that my life will be outstanding with her.

Wow man, hold your horses... ;) Have you only been corresponding with this nice lady since April? Have you guys met in person yet? You sure she feels the same way? Making "all the sacrifices necessary" is such a big promise to make. While I have no doubt that she is a keeper (and you yourself as well), it takes time and efforts and shared experiences to know if you're right for each other.

We all know how lonely it can get, but we're in it for the long haul. While it's important to not let any romantic opportunity slips by, there's also no need to rush.

Happy New Year and best wishes to you pal, Shaun
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Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2008, 02:53:26 am »
Hi Arsenal,

Welcome to the forum.  Good luck with your search this year.  Stepping outside your comfort zone is a great start.  Here's to hoping you find that special woman.

Cliff
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Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: Life as a Heterosexual [sic, Straight] Male
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2008, 11:57:12 am »
Arsenal,
Not to sound bitchy, but now you know what Gay male HIVers have been going through in the quest for longterm intimacy.  Silence is a social norm everywhere, and teetering on the verge of desparate measures is a natural human response.

Some wisdom that I offer anyone in similar straits is that:  (1) lasting romance and companionship don't come on our timetables, while "settling" and being used do and (2) solid relationships are made when whole people come together looking for balance, not when people believe they are made whole by another. 

Take the time as a singleton to create a stronger and more caring you, and keep yourself open to new possibilities on your journey that may lead you into the path of a suitable mate.  It may seem to be a longer route than pursuing a mate outright then fashioning life around her--men are hunters, after all--but it will surely be less frustrating in the long run.

Stay strong and sexy  ;)

Namaste,
David
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"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,564
Re: Life as a Straight Male
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2008, 03:20:55 pm »
Hi Arsenal,

I kind of have the same New Years Resolution and signed up on one of those dating sites.  I searched over 250 men in a 75 mile radius who posted information about themselves which made me feel it might be worthwhile to at least meet.

Of that initial 250, I found 1 in Sausalito (an hour drive).  With the anticipated increase in the cost of gasoline to over $4.00 per gallon by Spring, I decided to disclose my HIV status in the beginning and save a little B.S..   Boy, am I glad I have 51 weeks left to search because in our day and age, one would expect HIV to be not that huge of a deal in the Gay community.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
 ;D ;D ;D.  I thought when they said "water sports" they were talking about swimming, surfing, water skiing.  ;D Have the best day
Michael
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