Risk assessment required

[Concerned93]

Hey guys, let me start of by saying this is my first time posting and talking/typing about my 'experience'.
I'm 18 and was bi curious, around 6-7weeks ago I had an encounter with a gentlemen i bought online. Now I've read enough around forums to know the term 'im clean' just gets slaughtered if coined. However, as self-contradictory this may seem, he did seem genuinely clean, he was in his 40s and in a relationship with a woman (but hey im not to judge).

Now we got to business with some oral both ways, then he began fingering my anus. this is where it gets concerning for me as he began to insert the tip of his penis. I believe this is 'dipping'.

He was not wearing a condom...and trust me when I say i don't need a lesson on how stupid I was...been there, done that got the anxiety pills.

Now I'm going to book myself a test next week but I'm on here to get your guys professional opinions and risk assessment. So here's the details

I had unprotected dipping with another man
It lasted around 10-20 seconds
He did not ejaculate inside me
BUT...precum was present

I received no anal tears, at least i think i didn't because there was no pain afterwards or blood in my stool

So..what are my chances his precum has infected me with HIV? I'm showing absolutely no signs or symptoms and actually got a test 2 weeks after the ordeal and it came back negative, however I am aware 6 weeks is the recommended time, hence my appointment next week.

All in all guys, thanks for reading this post and hope I can receive positive non judgemental feedback from professionals, thanks again!

[Jeff G]

Brief dipping rarely leads to HIV infections , I have never personally seen a case that did . 

You can follow though on your plans to test at 6 weeks and again at 3 months to confirm the results . Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

I'm still at a loss as to why you would bring up the term clean . Its safe to say most all of us with HIV didn't get infected by having sex with someone who appeared to have HIV . 

[Concerned93]

Hey thanks for your reply appreciate the feedback!

I already got tested for other STI's, completely clear there no doubts so I suppose thats another factor which lowers my chance of being infected right?

As far as dipping goes, he didn't fully enter my but so I guess that counts right? I mean it felt just a little bigger than his finger and I felt no pain or aftermath results.

Yes my routine checkups have begun and condoms are in usage, and sorry for the term clean I should have known better!

All in all though, low chance of being infected through this event by precum? Even if he WAS HIV positive, which I'm unsure of.

[jkinatl2]

Hey thanks for your reply appreciate the feedback!

I already got tested for other STI's, completely clear there no doubts so I suppose thats another factor which lowers my chance of being infected right?

As far as dipping goes, he didn't fully enter my but so I guess that counts right? I mean it felt just a little bigger than his finger and I felt no pain or aftermath results.

Yes my routine checkups have begun and condoms are in usage, and sorry for the term clean I should have known better!

All in all though, low chance of being infected through this event by precum? Even if he WAS HIV positive, which I'm unsure of.

Well, I will answer your last question first, if that's OK. It's the easiest

You have a VERY low risk through the activity you described above. I would personally be very surprised if you tested positive over that extremely low risk event. I know that doesn't give you the "all clear" right now, and I am very sorry about that. But for what it's worth, I have personally never seen a case where "dipping" led to infection, and this is in over ten years of doing risk assessment.

As to your first issue with other STDs assisting/facilitating transmission, this is theoretically true. And several studies have indicated that the presence of other STDs PRIOR to a person's HIV exposure might cause inflammation of the area (in your case, anus) or even an unnoticed open sore (a syphilis chancre for example, or herpes lesion) that would provide an unusually large amount of immune cells to gather at a vulnerable breach in the body's defenses.

So HIV doesn't "piggyback" on other STDs at all. But if you had one already, and it had caused the issues outlined above, your risk could be higher.

What can happen to an HIV positive person who is on meds and whose viral load is undetectable, is that another STD can cause similar inflammation and a spike in the seminal viral load independent of the blood-tested viral load. The mechanisms of why and how this happens, and IF that spike is actually enough to facilitate infection, is still being studied.

This is why we always advise serodiscordant couples (where one is positive and the other negative - also called magnetic couples) to wear condoms if one or both partners is having sex outside of the relationship. In a mutually monogamous relationship with no other STDs, straight "magnetic" couples have children the natural way all the time at no discernible risk to the positive partner.

So in conclusion, if I haven't been confusing enough, you are not unwise to get tested - but I would certainly not expect a positive HIV result. And as far as your other STD panels go, remember that syphilis shares the three month window with HIV, so be sure to pick that up at the same time as your HIV three-month test.

And, of course, until you are in a mutually monogamous relationship and have been tested together and all that, I recommend that every sexually active person get a complete STD panel done twice a year anyhow. This accomplishes two goals that will serve you well:

a) you will know your status, and be able to treat anything really early. Therefore you can be secure with yourself and your partners.

b) you will eventually look at HIV as another in a battery of tests, and it will lose the power to terrify you.

Some people are SO terrified about HIV (to the exclusion of other STDS) that they are too afraid to test. Heck, they even get FURIOUS when they read about how HIV is really treatable, and if someone has access to meds and treatment, it is not NEARLY the boogeyman it was a decade ago, or two, or three. Especially two and three. It's as if people want to hang all their fears and self-loathing on a creature they label "HIV" and then refuse to see it for what it is: A virus. A pathogen. Not a judgment or a sign from Above.

I have every expectation that you will come out of this entirely OK. I really really do.

[Concerned93]

Whoa, thank you so much I've definitely came to the right place.

This site deserves more publication as this has been  thoroughly helpful and insightful for me. And thank you so much I feel more relaxed already!