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Author Topic: Well... Here I am.  (Read 887 times)

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Offline Myrikal

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Well... Here I am.
« on: May 21, 2024, 02:16:51 pm »
Tested positive April 21rst, 2024. Four days before my 53rd birthday. What a present!  I was in a relationship for a little over a year or atleast was led to believe I was. Funny thing was I didn't start having unprotected sex until the last four to five months of the relationship. Still, as angry as I am with him, I am even more angry at myself. I actually started feeling muscles aches and fatigue and knew that something was awfully wrong. My viral load was 105000 and CD4 count was 400. I spent the first week crying, unsure what to do. I started Dovato the day after my diagnosis. I am now on day twenty nine of Dovato. No more muscle aches and no more fatigue. I did have some pretty awful side effects, mostly fever but they have completely subsided and I feel much better. Atleast physically I feel better but mentally, I am not ok. I have not told my family, don't know how to. I am afraid they will not take it very well. I have told a couple of my very best friends. They were and are my rock through all of this so far. My support system is small and I am just afraid that now, I will never find any one to love me like this. Yeah... I know stupid feeling but I am almost kind of ashamed of myself. I never thought for one second that this was going to be the way I finished my life.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Well... Here I am.
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2024, 03:30:09 pm »
Hiya.

Sorry about the diagnosis, but glad to hear you have access to and have started treatment and an easy one at that. The ART didn't give you a fever.

Quote
I have not told my family, don't know how to

Why would you? Is there a reason you want to share this with them?

Quote
am afraid they will not take it very well.

Why? Surely it's not because you had sex, I mean they did not think you were a 53-year-old virgin and we all know sex comes with risks.

Quote
I will never find any one to love me like this. Yeah... I know stupid feeling but I am almost kind of ashamed of myself. I never thought for one second that this was going to be the way I finished my life.

You are 53, so far from finished and having HIV doesn't define you. I would be more stressed about herpes than HIV.

Anyhow, it is early days, you are still digesting the diagnosis and getting your head around it, a few months from now you will no longer even think about it. I'm not in the most helpful mood tonight, sorry about that, but I just wanted to say "Hi" and let you know you are not alone, we're here for you.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2024, 03:51:07 pm by Jim Allen »
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Offline Tonny2

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Re: Well... Here I am.
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2024, 04:24:03 pm »



            ojo.             Hello there!… Welcome to the forum. Well, like Jim just said, if you’re having sex, unprotect sex, you run the risk of getting no just HIV but other STIs. You are no alone, We are here for you to support you at least until you learn how to live with HIV.


Ask Jim said, you are not dying, so there is no need to tell your family about having HIV but, if you want to tell them, I would recommend you to digest the news first and then share your condition with others. i’ve been living with this condition for 29 years and just my family knows about it and this is because I was dying of pneumonia. Otherwise I would have never told them, I respect the choices others make… you are going to be fine just take your medication, just one pill at day, and you can go back to live a normal life to not think about telling anyone about your status or thinking about finding love until you learn how to live with your new normal. Again, we are here for you. Please keep us posted… Hugs.

Offline Myrikal

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Re: Well... Here I am.
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2024, 07:30:49 am »
Thanks for the replies you guys!

So I went in on Tuesday for my first lab work since starting Dovato. I am anxiously awaiting my results to see how the Dovato is working.

I really appreciate you both taking the time to respond to me. I was feeling severly alone in this journey. I have been searching for an HIV support group in my area but my search results have not given me any results. So again, thank you.

Offline Myrikal

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Re: Well... Here I am.
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2024, 08:52:51 am »
Just got a call with my bloodwork results.

My viral load after thirty days on Dovato is down to 100, my CD4 count is now at 490.

So... absolutely good news!

Offline Tonny2

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Re: Well... Here I am.
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2024, 10:12:43 am »



           ojo.        Indeed good news!. Are otherwise how are you feeling?… Keep doing what you’re doing… please keep us posted… Hugs

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Well... Here I am.
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2024, 03:55:28 pm »
I really appreciate you both taking the time to respond to me. I was feeling severly alone in this journey. I have been searching for an HIV support group in my area but my search results have not given me any results. So again, thank you.

Well if you like you can join our monthly calls: https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=77368.0
It's mostly just chat and social talk.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

My Instagram
Threads

 


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