Well... Here I am.

[Myrikal]

Tested positive April 21rst, 2024. Four days before my 53rd birthday. What a present!  I was in a relationship for a little over a year or atleast was led to believe I was. Funny thing was I didn't start having unprotected sex until the last four to five months of the relationship. Still, as angry as I am with him, I am even more angry at myself. I actually started feeling muscles aches and fatigue and knew that something was awfully wrong. My viral load was 105000 and CD4 count was 400. I spent the first week crying, unsure what to do. I started Dovato the day after my diagnosis. I am now on day twenty nine of Dovato. No more muscle aches and no more fatigue. I did have some pretty awful side effects, mostly fever but they have completely subsided and I feel much better. Atleast physically I feel better but mentally, I am not ok. I have not told my family, don't know how to. I am afraid they will not take it very well. I have told a couple of my very best friends. They were and are my rock through all of this so far. My support system is small and I am just afraid that now, I will never find any one to love me like this. Yeah... I know stupid feeling but I am almost kind of ashamed of myself. I never thought for one second that this was going to be the way I finished my life.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya.

Sorry about the diagnosis, but glad to hear you have access to and have started treatment and an easy one at that. The ART didn't give you a fever.

I have not told my family, don't know how to

Why would you? Is there a reason you want to share this with them?

am afraid they will not take it very well.

Why? Surely it's not because you had sex, I mean they did not think you were a 53-year-old virgin and we all know sex comes with risks.

I will never find any one to love me like this. Yeah... I know stupid feeling but I am almost kind of ashamed of myself. I never thought for one second that this was going to be the way I finished my life.

You are 53, so far from finished and having HIV doesn't define you. I would be more stressed about herpes than HIV.

Anyhow, it is early days, you are still digesting the diagnosis and getting your head around it, a few months from now you will no longer even think about it. I'm not in the most helpful mood tonight, sorry about that, but I just wanted to say "Hi" and let you know you are not alone, we're here for you.

[Tonny2]

            ojo.             Hello there!… Welcome to the forum. Well, like Jim just said, if you’re having sex, unprotect sex, you run the risk of getting no just HIV but other STIs. You are no alone, We are here for you to support you at least until you learn how to live with HIV.


Ask Jim said, you are not dying, so there is no need to tell your family about having HIV but, if you want to tell them, I would recommend you to digest the news first and then share your condition with others. i’ve been living with this condition for 29 years and just my family knows about it and this is because I was dying of pneumonia. Otherwise I would have never told them, I respect the choices others make… you are going to be fine just take your medication, just one pill at day, and you can go back to live a normal life to not think about telling anyone about your status or thinking about finding love until you learn how to live with your new normal. Again, we are here for you. Please keep us posted… Hugs.

[Myrikal]

Thanks for the replies you guys!

So I went in on Tuesday for my first lab work since starting Dovato. I am anxiously awaiting my results to see how the Dovato is working.

I really appreciate you both taking the time to respond to me. I was feeling severly alone in this journey. I have been searching for an HIV support group in my area but my search results have not given me any results. So again, thank you.

[Myrikal]

Just got a call with my bloodwork results.

My viral load after thirty days on Dovato is down to 100, my CD4 count is now at 490.

So... absolutely good news!

[Tonny2]

           ojo.        Indeed good news!. Are otherwise how are you feeling?… Keep doing what you’re doing… please keep us posted… Hugs

[Jim Allen]

I really appreciate you both taking the time to respond to me. I was feeling severly alone in this journey. I have been searching for an HIV support group in my area but my search results have not given me any results. So again, thank you.

Well if you like you can join our monthly calls: https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=77368.0
It's mostly just chat and social talk.

[Myrikal]

Update!

I am almost at my three month mark after being diagnosed. I am now undetectable. All of the side effects from the medication have pretty much all gone away. I feel so much betthealth wise. Phew... what a whirlwind of emotion this journey has been.

Not only was I dealing with being newly diagnosed about a disease I knew very little about but I was also dealing with a broken heart at the same time. The individual who infected me is no longer in my life. I had zero closure with him which was another extremely hard thing to deal with as well. My life absolutely crashed and burned around me all at once..

But here I am almost three months later!

I met somebody that I can talk too and relate too! He was diagnosed almost eight months ago so like me we are both dealing with the new norm of our lives. This has made everything so much better for me because I needed somebody to talk to. Somebody who was also going through it. Like myself his relationship also ended when he was diagnosed.

So, for others who are just recently going through it. It's hard, it's scary and there is alot of fixing to do initially but don't give up. Things can and will get better!

[Jim Allen]

Hiya.

Good update, glad to to hear you are feeling much better and have a friend to talk with.
Keep us posted 

[Tonny2]

          ojo.         @Myrikal, congratulations!!… We are glad to read that you had met the goal that makes all of us want to get after an hiv or aids dx. usually, after reading in our lab results undetectable make us realize that life goes on even with an HIV diagnosis… Again, congratula, remember that the formula to beat shady is discipline and taking your medication as prescribed and a good attitude , because we cannot change the past… Hugs

[leatherman]

Somebody who was also going through it.

you know, that's the whole idea behind peer support. It's why so many different illnesses end up with online and in-person support systems. Sometimes it's about sharing how to get through treatment. Sometimes it's about how to deal with life-long complications. Sometimes it's about how to move successfully forward afterwards. HIV peer support is no different....and always as helpful. Thanks for sharing a good experience even if you and your new friend had to come together through some bad experiences.