Am I infected?

[pambende]

First, I want to thank you for this great forum! and I'm sorry about my English as well.

Several nights ago, I was at a club, and met a woman in her 30s who was visiting from Scotland. We started fooling around and then we went somewhere to have sex. It all started with deep french kiss and then she asked me if I had condom. Fortunately I had one with me. I put on the condom, and she gave me a blowjob (wit condom on), and then I had sex with her doggy style. When I took my penis out to ejaculate, I noticed some very small amount of blood (like 1 or 2 drops) on the condom, and also very small amount of dried blood on my hand (probably because I was holding my my penis with my hand as I was penetrating her from behind). I immediately washed my hand with soap and water, took the condom out and washed my penis with soap and water and ejaculated on her body.

I looked for wounds or cuts in my hand but I didn't find any. While having sex with her I hold my penis and condom with my hand to prevent the condom from slipping, as I was not fully erected due to alcohol. So all the time the condom was half to 2/3 up on my penis. I should mention that my penis is 7" fully erected, so I think the condom was 3 to 4 inches up on my penis. I did the water test afterwards, and seemed like the condom was intact as the water stayed in the condom. Although her vaginal fluid (which was very sticky) was dripping of off the tip of the condom, which I think was form the outside of the condom.

Anyways, now I'm very worried that I might have been infected with HIV as probably the woman had multiple sex partners. However, she was the one telling me to put the condom on, even for the blowjob. I haven't had any symptoms yet but I'm very worried! Should I get tested?

[Andy Velez]

You are worrying needlessly. The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered during intercourse. Sexually the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Your having had some vaginal blood on your hand was not a risk. HIV is a very fragile virus and is not transmitted in a viable form from hand to penis.

If the condom had failed you would have known it because it ends up looking like a hoop with strands on the penis.

There is no need for testing. However, having intercourse when you have been drinking heavily is a bad idea. Too often it can endanger your ability to practice safer sex so avoid it in the future.

This time I don't see any cause for further concern.

[pambende]

Thank you for your fast reply!

I know that it was a stupid move on my part and I should never have done that, I feel so much guilt over it, that's probably why I thought I might have been infected with HIV, as dumb as it sounds! Fortunately I had a condom with me, otherwise I would have died from panic attack by now.

Anyways, thank you so much for everything you're doing for the community, you guys are great!

[Ann]

Fortunately I had a condom with me, otherwise I would have died from panic attack by now.

Pambende,

If you have any sense, you would NOT be "panicking by now" if you didn't have a condom with you, because you would NOT have had intercourse.

It doesn't matter who you hook up with or what you think you know about their hiv status, you need to be using a condom every time, no exceptions.

I agree with Andy - you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection during this encounter.

And by the way, getting a blowjob, with or without a condom, is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE OR GETTING A BLOWJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[pambende]

Thank you Ann for your reply.

I'm a hypochondriaric, and I always assume the worst which causes much anxiety.
I haven't had sex without protection in 4 years now, and I always have a condom with me where ever I go, just in case. However,  even though I used protection last week but cause I noticed blood on the condom I panicked. Now I know that HIV is a fragile virus thanks to Andy and this forum so I feel much better. But I will get tested next month since it's been 2-3 years since the last test i got.

I appreciate all the effort you put in this community and will  try to be more responsible.

Cheers!