POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: eeknyc on June 17, 2010, 08:30:52 pm
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At about 8:10pm EST NYC in discussing the oil catastrophe, the out gay political radio host and comic Karel host at green960.com i think he just said "[objectively] if you get HIV you deserve it 'cause you know how to avoid it, it's a hard virus to get and (then he repeated) you deserve it."
he qualified it with "unless you got it through needles or non-sexual means"
i really hope he didn't say that i have been working so hard on my self esteem regeneration so i can be in the presence of gay men again THE PODCAST SHOULD BE UP SOON (i am too sad after anger to email him in case he is the real blowhard i think he might be)
heard at http://www.green960.com/pages/karel.html OR maybe an archive for today's statement at his site at
http://www.radiokrl.com/radiokrl/RadioKRL_Home.html
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In my opinion, that is an example of clumsy wording by a presumably hiv- person.
You are going to hear more or less the same thing in these forums from a lot of people applied to a lot of HIV infections.
Except in here, people will say if you have HIV, you are responsible for your infection.
Its really only a matter of semantics between "responsible" or "deserve".
I hope you can build your self esteem on something more solid than moral judgments by strangers about HIV transmission.
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This should be good. (http://tool.shagnasty.net/wiki/images/8/8c/Grin.gif)
MtD
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I sat on a dirty toilet seat*. I deserve nothing.
*at the original Sound Factory
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You are going to hear more or less the same thing in these forums from a lot of people applied to a lot of HIV infections.
Except in here, people will say if you have HIV, you are responsible for your infection.
Its really only a matter of semantics between "responsible" or "deserve".
I hope you can build your self esteem on something more solid than moral judgments by strangers about HIV transmission.
Pointy words of wisdom from our very own governess. :)
Far be it from me to correct you, ma'am but that should be "some people will say if you have HIV you are responsible for your infection."
MtD
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no way
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ito counter the sadness and self-hatred brought about by gay men rejecting me now.
When you say reject are you referring to sex or friendship? Maybe your running with the wrong group. I have yet to be rejected by any gay man whether Poz or Neg friendship wise, and as far as sex what little Ive dabbled in I havent really received any rejection either.
You shouldnt be feeling self hatred regardless of the situation, yeah i think talking with a therapist might give you a different view on things.
-Will
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disrespectful deleted
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I've heard a lot of gay guys say the same thing and be so vicious about it--even though some of them are whores and do it bareback, but want to get on their high horse. As was mentioned here earlier, we say the same thing--just in a more diplomatic way. We say you're responsible. No one deserves a terrible virus just because they had sex with someone.
Modified to say: Some of us say we're all responsible
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Got something against putas, Theodore? Didn't know you were such a h8tr. ay, que PUTA es la mujer esa, le gusta chingar con 25 hombres a la misma vez...
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thank you tednlou2
thank you
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I've heard a lot of gay guys say the same thing and be so vicious about it--even though some of them are whores and do it bareback, but want to get on their high horse. As was mentioned here earlier, we say the same thing--just in a more diplomatic way. We say you're responsible. No one deserves a terrible virus just because they had sex with someone.
Modified to say: Some of us say we're all responsible
I like to say I was irresponsible myself. Do you have an issue with whores Teddy? You know they're people too.
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Got something against putas, Theodore? Didn't know you were such a h8tr.
I love a good ho now and then. I'm sure I would have qualified as one in my younger days. My sex life is dragging these days.
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oh yeah mecch ? how'm i gonna build huh? feel free to suggest or don't whatever for you and the horse you rode in on LOL
and: and it isn't just strangers mech thank for your semantics clarification though
STIGMA OUT!
I'm confused. What happened to your post about being beaten to death on a dancefloor by a bunch of neggies armed with martini glasses? At least that was slightly humourous.
So this man said something nasty on the air. Oh well, you can count on the fact that other people out there think/feel the same way; they just don't voice it out of political correctness. If you allow what they think about HIV to define you or damage your psychology then you are giving them that power.
Good luck in dealing with what's affecting you. You did not deserve getting this, but as stated by La Meechie and Matty you'll see that round here (with the exception of borzel and a couple other people) we tend to accept responsibility for the actions that brought us where we are today.
Best regards,
Da Rev. (who didn't deserve this as he was immaculately infected)
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ay, que PUTA es la mujer esa, le gusta chingar con 25 hombres a la misma vez...
Or for the Polocks amongst us...."oh, że suka jest kobietą, która lubi się pieprzyć z 25 mężczyzn w tym samym czasie."
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Or for the Polocks amongst us...."oh, że suka jest kobietą, która lubi się pieprzyć z 25 mężczyzn w tym samym czasie."
Is that one of dem dere Apple keyboards?
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Is that one of dem dere Apple keyboards?
No, I cheated and copied and pasted from Google Translations.
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this particular "host" isn't worth the time or effort. he's been on the 3-6 drive time slot for a while now and i really can't stand to listen to him for lots or reasons he's just obnoxious. have emailed the 960 station here in the bay area to voice my opinion. i now listen to music on the way home, probably better for me anyway. just my 2 cents worth.
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No, I cheated and copied and pasted from Google Translations.
eres un hijo de la chingada!
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ay, que PUTA es la mujer esa, le gusta chingar con 25 hombres a la misma vez...
Pero chica Felicita mi amiga, why chu talkin' bout me with la Teodora? No se te puede conta' na'.
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Theodore ti si neki smiješan Gvido , JA misliti Gđica Phyllicia poput te.
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this particular "host" isn't worth the time or effort. he's been on the 3-6 drive time slot for a while now and i really can't stand to listen to him for lots or reasons he's just obnoxious. have emailed the 960 station here in the bay area to voice my opinion. i now listen to music on the way home, probably better for me anyway. just my 2 cents worth.
THANK YOU
I WANTED TO LIKE HIM BUT HE'S A PART OF ANOTHER COMMUNITY, THE GAY ONE I MISS IN A WAY
BUT I WILL MEDITATE on poz.com's 'taking responsibility' tenet/mantra instead of his screaming stoned words....
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THANK YOU
I WANTED TO LIKE HIM BUT HE'S A PART OF ANOTHER COMMUNITY, THE GAY ONE I MISS IN A WAY
BUT I WILL MEDITATE on poz.com's 'taking responsibility' tenet/mantra instead of his screaming stoned words....
Well it's not a Poz or AIDSmeds tenet [sic] or mantra. It's a view expressed by a number of forums members.
I happen to be one of those members.
MtD
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Pointy words of wisdom from our very own governess. :)
Far be it from me to correct you, ma'am but that should be "some people will say if you have HIV you are responsible for your infection."
MtD
Ok with me, the some :)
thats what I meant
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oh yeah mecch ? how'm i gonna build huh? feel free to suggest or don't whatever
for you and the horse you rode in on LOL
and: and it isn't just strangers mech thank for your semantics clarification though
STIGMA OUT!
I agree with you, its not just strangers, OK.
Build on all the things that have nothing to do with HIV, dear. Your work, friends, family, all the ways people who love you like you enjoy you and need you and have nothing to do with HIV.
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I agree with you, its not just strangers, OK.
Build on all the things that have nothing to do with HIV, dear. Your work, friends, family, all the ways people who love you like you enjoy you and need you and have nothing to do with HIV.
you are being too nice to someone who technically told you to naff off. Matty's right, you are our local governess. Can we call you Jane Eyre?
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'naff off' meaning what specifically and what's w/ this governess nickame?
and you"rev" wants less nice to whom?
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nixsmall:
i love your 'two cents"
and your goodsense
:0!
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It's a new phenomenon. More and more gay/bi people are rejecting HIV+ people while
heterosexual people seem to be more and more tolerant/supportive.
Yes, I deserve HIV because I slept once without a condom.
That's my sin. :P
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''You deserve it'' sounds like something a Bible belt fanatic priest or Idaho mormon would say.
I was expecting something more like ''You shall burn in Hell'' or something like that. ;D
That man is a frustrated freak.
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It use to amaze me the things people say about people with HIV/AIDS but not anymore. Not this guy on the radio, or the medical "professionals" I work with, or gay men in general right here in NYC and the hateful things I hear. I had a friend I don't know well nor am close with anymore say to me..."How is anyone getting this disease these days they must be stupid". Yeah it cuts like a knife. I have found, as someone else mentioned, straight people be less judgemental and more supportive which surprised me. Maybe the gays think those of us with HIV are giving them a bad name? LOL who knows. I have not told many people and I am sure we have all had different experiences but for me personally here in NYC, I have found gay men to be MUCH more judgemental about it.
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It's a new phenomenon. More and more gay/bi people are rejecting HIV+ people while
heterosexual people seem to be more and more tolerant/supportive.
Oh my, you mean my chances are improving? Oh dear, oh goodness me, I must get a perm, some new hosiery and a petticoat as there could be a gentleman caller in my future!! Oh yes and lipstick, plenty of lipstick. Don't you just love phenomenons?
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I think a lot of the disdain in the (urban) gay community about current HIV infection rates are tied up in the larger meth abuse issue.
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At about 8:10pm EST NYC in discussing the oil catastrophe, the out gay political radio host and comic Karel host at green960.com i think he just said "[objectively] if you get HIV you deserve it 'cause you know how to avoid it, it's a hard virus to get and (then he repeated) you deserve it."
he qualified it with "unless you got it through needles or non-sexual means"
i really hope he didn't say that i have been working so hard on my self esteem regeneration so i can be in the presence of gay men again THE PODCAST SHOULD BE UP SOON (i am too sad after anger to email him in case he is the real blowhard i think he might be)
You missed a rather lengthy debate on a related issue a couple of weeks ago.
I am of the opinion that this kind of generalization is difficult. I think it depends on the situation, more specifically how likely it was for the person one had sex with to have HIV. In other words - if one chooses to have a condom-less gay encounter with a random dude in the city park he takes on a different kind of chance than a guy who has sex with his virgin gf who got HIV during a blood work 6 months before (hypothetical example).
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Maybe the gays think those of us with HIV are giving them a bad name?
not at all. ;)
I'm surprised everyday as these forums gain members because I, through the lens of having lived through 20+ yrs of this epidemic (like that radio host probably), and from having HIV myself, see all those warnings, ads, PSAs, pamphlets etc and can't believe that with all that, someone still ran the risk, had unprotected sex, and got infected over twenty years into this epidemic. :'(
Unfortunately though, it's just human nature and I guess there's just no way to totally stop the behaviors that spread HIV. For example, consider how many girls will turn up pregnant today, while the fact of unprotected heterosexual sex frequently producing offspring has been a known fact for even longer than the fact that unprotected sex could pass along a number of STDs or HIV.
However, not even knowing about the stigma against people with HIV is enough to make people think twice obviously, since new infections are showing up daily. I would imagine that is where some of the flack from the gay community comes from. They probably find it hard to understand how someone can not only ignore the prevention message that has been out there so long; but also how someone can run the risk of the added stigma (stigma from society at large and from the gay community) of being positive.
Sadly, why it seems so surprising and what it means is that every bit of that prevention campaign over the last 2 decades against spreading/acquiring HIV hasn't worked everytime someone tests positive in 2010. A more callous person then will lay the "blame" at the feet of those who ignored all the warning; while a more rational person acknowledges the personal "responsibility" of those who chose to ignore the warnings.
"Fault", "blame", "responsibility", even "deserve" - all words that basically mean the same thing as yet another person ignored the warnings and engaged in behavior to acquire HIV. :'( It's enough to nearly break my heart realizing that today, this very day, even more people will ignore the message and warnings and will end up HIV+ before the day is through.
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For example, consider how many girls will turn up pregnant today, while the fact of unprotected heterosexual sex frequently producing offspring has been a known fact for even longer than the fact that unprotected sex could pass along a number of STDs or HIV.
[facetious]And you can bet that none of those dastardly men impregnating those women ever disclosed that they had sperm. Likewise, the women never disclosed that they had eggs. It's terrible.[/facetious]
"Fault", "blame", "responsibility", even "deserve" - all words that basically mean the same thing
Not really. That's the beauty of the English language - we often have so many different words that mean basically the same thing, but carry different nuances with which we can be more precise in getting the meaning of our thoughts across.
I most certainly did not deserve my infection. But was I responsible for my infection? Absolutely. Very different nuance.
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You missed a rather lengthy debate on a related issue a couple of weeks ago.
I am of the opinion that this kind of generalization is difficult. I think it depends on the situation, more specifically how likely it was for the person one had sex with to have HIV. In other words - if one chooses to have a condom-less gay encounter with a random dude in the city park he takes on a different kind of chance than a guy who has sex with his virgin gf who got HIV during a blood work 6 months before (hypothetical example).
That makes absolutely no difference. The truth of the matter is you have no idea what someone's history is except through their own admission which can be fundamentally flawed. That's why here they pretty much say you should assume everyone has something (HIV or otherwise) until you've developed a monogamous relationship with them over time. At that point there are still caveats. Unprotected sex is putting your life into someone else's hands. That same girl in your 'example' could've been a nympho taking on all comers at a truckstop daily for the last 8 months, who then spun some story about an immaculate infection. Trying to assess risk using someone's past is just completely ineffective.
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That same girl in your 'example' could've been a nympho taking on all comers at a truckstop daily for the last 8 months
What's it with you and truckstops? Are these like popular meeting spots in Natchez or something?
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What's it with you and truckstops? Are these like popular meeting spots in Natchez or something?
Obviously
But there's also a bit of this in Natchez (http://www.natchezdemocrat.com/news/2009/feb/05/city-pride-large-gay-crowds-call-natchez-home/) (SECRETS OF THE GAY WORLD EXPOSED IN NATCHEZ!)
“And there are so many (gays in Natchez,)” Miller said. “It’s like a little Castro.”
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Mars and Miller said one unique aspect of Natchez’s gay life is the high number of men that are married with children that lead both gay and straight lives.
But they’re not naming names.
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“All the men are gay after midnight in in Natchez,”
(http://media2.natchezdemocrat.com/img/croppedphotos/2009/02/19/DSC_5491_t725.jpg?73b5efe6b9ed4537b6cce14d6119b593814e8e5c)
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What's it with you and truckstops? Are these like popular meeting spots in Natchez or something?
Well I could say bathhouses but for a straight woman slutting it up in a bath house probably isn't the norm. In Mississippi pre-internet guys used to get busted at the truck stops all the time, so in my mind it's connotative of sleazy random hookups. You could just as easily say Strip Clubs, fleabag motels, or what have you.
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What's it with you and truckstops? Are these like popular meeting spots in Natchez or something?
Just say no to Lot Lizards
-W
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Hey Trey, what's up with that "Pink Camellia Tour" in the article I linked to? Do you attend?
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I most certainly did not deserve my infection. But was I responsible for my infection? Absolutely. Very different nuance.
ah! nuances. ;) hence my comparison of a "callous" person and a "rational" person talking about the same situation. A callous person probably does believe that people do deserve the consequences of their actions, while a kinder person tries to soften the blow of reality by saying people are responsible for the consequences of their actions.
if you (of sound mind and reasonable age) run out into the middle of traffic without looking, do you deserve to get hit for your stupidity/carelessness? ???
does anyone "deserve" the consequences of their actions? Maybe, maybe not - but that's what we're asking for and going to get - the consequences. ;) it's just sad that in 2010, people are still "asking" for the consequence of having HIV.
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Yeah Trey, you alwys complain about there being no Gays in Snatchez....well right there in the pic that Philly posted are 2 fine Tea drinking examples for you. go get 'em tiger!
-W
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Yeah Trey, you alwys complain about there being no Gays in Snatchez....well right there in the pic that Philly posted are 2 fine Tea drinking examples for you. go get 'em tiger!
-W
I don't know why he's always whining -- from that article it seems that Natchez is the gayest place in the state. I have lovely visions of seersucker pants, honeysuckle, moonlit verandas and bountiful mint julips.
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Hey Trey, what's up with that "Pink Camellia Tour" in the article I linked to? Do you attend?
Oh yes, although the pink camelia tour of the late 80's early 90's was the REAL Pink Camelia Tour. These days it's just a bunch of wanna-bes trying to reclaim the glory of the touring scene.
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Do they even have any Gay bars in Snatchez? Or do the gays just gather in the Bayou after dark to meet others?
-W
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Do they even have any Gay bars in Snatchez? Or do the gays just gather in the Bayou after dark to meet others?
-W
To my knowledge there are roughly 6 gay bars in the state none of them are in close proximity to Natchez
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Do they even have any Gay bars in Snatchez?
lulz... Heh... Dude, you said snatch...
And how bout bathhouses? Those two tea-drinking queens look like the kinda bears you'd find trolling the halls of your local Club Body Center.
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That makes absolutely no difference. The truth of the matter is you have no idea what someone's history is except through their own admission which can be fundamentally flawed. That's why here they pretty much say you should assume everyone has something (HIV or otherwise) until you've developed a monogamous relationship with them over time. At that point there are still caveats. Unprotected sex is putting your life into someone else's hands. That same girl in your 'example' could've been a nympho taking on all comers at a truckstop daily for the last 8 months, who then spun some story about an immaculate infection. Trying to assess risk using someone's past is just completely ineffective.
Why is probability so hard to grasp? The probability that a gay guy in a park has HIV is a thousand (million?) times higher than a 19yr old girl who says she is a virgin to her bf.
She might be lying and she might be a nympho - but the guy in the park already displays numerous qualities that make his HIV status very likely.
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To my knowledge there are roughly 6 gay bars in the state none of them are in close proximity to Natchez
Maybe you've just not cracked the scene down there -- there's a bit of inconsistency with what the tea sippers are telling us here. Mebbe a bit less truckstoppin' and more julep sippin' for socializing?
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Why is probability so hard to grasp? The probability that a gay guy in a park has HIV is a thousand (million?) times higher than a 19yr old girl who says she is a virgin to her bf.
She might be lying and she might be a nympho - but the guy in the park already displays numerous qualities that make his HIV status very likely.
How do you know so much about sucking cock in the bushes?
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How do you know so much about sucking cock in the bushes?
All I know is from one episode of Extras with George Michael.
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All I know is from one episode of Extras with George Michael.
k
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k
the implied possibility, however, would be quite funny - that someone would create an anonymous online persona where they would lie about their history :)
nah - if you think about it - i am kinda talking my position - as I happen to believe that I got handed the short end of the stick when it came to probabilities. Which should be a warning to everybody - no matter how unlikely, you can still get the virus.
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the implied possibility, however, would be quite funny - that someone would create an anonymous online persona where they would lie about their history :)
nah - if you think about it - i am kinda talking my position - as I happen to believe that I got handed the short end of the stick when it came to probabilities. Which should be a warning to everybody - no matter how unlikely, you can still get the virus.
See the thing is, I don't think it was that unlikely at all. You're attempting to rationalize risk assessment and you are living proof that it doesn't work.
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See the thing is, I don't think it was that unlikely at all. You're attempting to rationalize risk assessment and you are living proof that it doesn't work.
I don't think you are in position to quantify how likely something is without knowing any details.
Here is a question - do you think the likelihood of getting the virus is higher based on how many partners a person had? Do you think it depends on whether one has gay or straight sex? Whether the sex act is paid for? How many partners the other person has had in last 6 months?
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I don't think you are in position to quantify how likely something is without knowing any details.
Here is a question - do you think the likelihood of getting the virus is higher based on how many partners a person had? Do you think it depends on whether one has gay or straight sex? Whether the sex act is paid for? How many partners the other person has had in last 6 months?
Your likelihood of acquiring the virus is the same. Are you literally saying you think this is a gay disease? Cause that's what I'm hearing.
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Your likelihood of acquiring the virus is the same. Are you literally saying you think this is a gay disease? Cause that's what I'm hearing.
I think you lack basic understanding of probability that is required for having a conversation about this topic. Hence you would just be offended, which is not my goal.
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I don't think you are in position to quantify how likely something is without knowing any details.
Here is a question - do you think the likelihood of getting the virus is higher based on how many partners a person had? Do you think it depends on whether one has gay or straight sex? Whether the sex act is paid for? How many partners the other person has had in last 6 months?
:: le sigh ::
Here we go again. Wasn't that horse beaten nuff already in aprevious thread? This conversation has the depth of a bottle cap.
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: sigh:
he's winding everyone up again, if we don't bite maybe that'll help
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Here is a question - do you think the likelihood of getting the virus is higher based on how many partners a person had? Do you think it depends on whether one has gay or straight sex? Whether the sex act is paid for? How many partners the other person has had in last 6 months?
None of this matters if you're using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse. You can have as many partners you want of whatever sexual orientation takes your fancy and pay them (or not), so long as you use condoms. Duh.
: sigh:
he's winding everyone up again, if we don't bite maybe that'll help
And that's as far as I'm going to bite. He doesn't taste very good!
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You all could go blind or get hairy palms if you don't stop bozeabating .
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Here is a question - do you think the likelihood of getting the virus is higher based on how many partners a person had? Do you think it depends on whether one has gay or straight sex? Whether the sex act is paid for? How many partners the other person has had in last 6 months?
I think you lack basic understanding of probability that is required for having a conversation about this topic. Hence you would just be offended, which is not my goal.
I'm confused on how lacking knowledge regarding statistics, has any meaning to this discussion, because you, yourself, are implying so many assumptions, as to render any statistical analysis meaningless. The four questions you asked, have answers that are so varied, depending in which community, they are asked, as to just add confusion to the discussion. You seem to assume that everyone tells the truth, when history has shown us, that concerning HIV, the truth can be very transient. It feels to me, as if you are trying to reduce the thoughts in this thread, into numbers and you just can't look at only one aspect.
Also, I find your demeanor and the way you ask and answer queries, to be rather condescending and very confrontational, as if, you are merely looking down, from your ivory tower, while casting your pearls before swine.
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Bozel is off working on the coefficient of variation right now. He'll get back to you guys in a little while.
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I'm confused on how lacking knowledge regarding statistics, has any meaning to this discussion, because you, yourself, are implying so many assumptions, as to render any statistical analysis meaningless. The four questions you asked, have answers that are so varied, depending in which community, they are asked, as to just add confusion to the discussion. You seem to assume that everyone tells the truth, when history has shown us, that concerning HIV, the truth can be very transient. It feels to me, as if you are trying to reduce the thoughts in this thread, into numbers and you just can't look at only one aspect.
Also, I find your demeanor and the way you ask and answer queries, to be rather condescending and very confrontational, as if, you are merely looking down, from your ivory tower, while casting your pearls before swine.
I don't see how this is difficult - the simple answer is that each positive Answer increases the chances that a given sexual encounter may result in transmission. (And of course wearing a condom reduces those chances to near zero, as rightly pointed out by Ann). All of us took a chance at some point - and all scored, regardless of the likelihood of it happening.
I'm sorry if I I came across condescending or confrontational - this is not my intent. But methinks it's the message that some may find difficult to accept. I don't find my tone to be materially different from the observed average in threads where people disagree.
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That's the beauty of the English language - we often have so many different words that mean basically the same thing, but carry different nuances with which we can be more precise in getting the meaning of our thoughts across.
I most certainly did not deserve my infection. But was I responsible for my infection? Absolutely. Very different nuance.
A nuance isn't "very different" but it is notable. I agree with you. That is why I said an striaght HIV- guy might be clumsy with words. That guy on the talk show, after a bit of discussion, would probably be content with the word "responsible". People are responsible for their actions and choices.
We can see all the nuances but the public cannot. We can educate them to see if the meanness is clumsiness or naivite or stupidity or whatever. Or just let it slide.
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This Karel the only Openly Gay (political) Radio Talk Show host that I know of
has not responded. I just emailed green960.com a great station usually the folowing and await their response:
"I alerted the people at poz.com and before I go with this to Gay City News, Advocate, Out, etc.
I want to confirm if on last night's Karel show did he say people that contract HIV deserve to get it if they got it sexually?
Is the show downloadable so we can quote him? (it was at about 8:10pm EST) THANK YOU!"
I know you will all tell me to repeat "responsible " 1000 times but as a newcomer and a person that is verry responsible, I thought this question was fair as I understand what Gay Karel means from his "clean drug and disease free" gay perspective, but it doesn't seem like the right thing to say. But gays have always rejected me since seroconversion, just in a polite way. So much for disclosure LOL, but I wouldn't do it any other way.
-- Thank you all for these forums. I am 10 years w/undetectable hiv on same regimen with 50% cd4 percentage!
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I know you will all tell me to shut up and repeat "responsible " 1000x but as a newcomer here I thought this question was fair as I understand what Gay Karel means, but it doesn't seem like the right thing to say. But gays have always rejected me since seroconversion, just in a polite way. So much for disclosure LOL
-- Thank you all for these forums. I am 10 years w/undetectable hiv on same regimen with 50% cd4 percentage!
Who has told you to shut up? No one that I can see.
MtD
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Who has told you to shut up? No one that I can see.
MtD
He's a lil' sensitive. Eek!
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eeknyc,
While I can empathize with your disdain for this radio jock and his choice of words, why does this bother you so much? He's just another guy, spewing his opinion, as ugly as it may appear, but again, why do you care so much? The only opinions I care about, are those from people whom I respect, know personally or who know me. Anyone else, has no real basis to form an opinion on me, so why would I care what they think?
Maybe you could funnel your anger, about this guy, into securing funding for your local AIDS group, letting your actions reflect your belief that nobody deserves HIV.
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You don't know the work i have done in that specific regard
non-profits and all
WITH employess
thanks for the suggest
rave on Reverend and of course a statement can affect one emotionally
plus he's on the f'ing RADIO with truthseekers and that truth just doesn't speak to me as does neither a daddy in the sky god figure totally made up by humankind (god etc. where all religions try to be right over nothing even kill for it ugh) but i am SURE this MIGHT have been discussed "here" already.
If that is the case I apologize and I will seek the link to where by, I know I know, a simple keyword search
LOL
off to theatre!
and i will seek to be impervious to such reactions! even here......................speculating :)
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off to theatre!
Too much drama is never enough, eh? ;)
MtD
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You don't know the work i have done in that specific regard
non-profits and all
WITH employess
thanks for the suggest
rave on Reverend and of course a statement can affect one emotionally
plus he's on the f'ing RADIO with truthseekers and that truth just doesn't speak to me as does neither a daddy in the sky god figure totally made up by humankind (god etc. where all religions try to be right over nothing even kill for it ugh) but i am SURE this MIGHT have been discussed "here" already.
If that is the case I apologize and I will seek the link to where by, I know I know, a simple keyword search
LOL
off to theatre!
and i will seek to be impervious to such reactions! even here......................speculating :)
I'm no psych doctor, but have you ever taken a quiz on what qualifies one as ADHD? I'm just asking, no real reason.
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Makes me glad to be deaf and not hear the radio. It would be a shame to bust up the dash trying to destroy such a fine piece of equipment.
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thanks for my 1st dive into poz forums
yes hellraiser cognitive behavioral therapy starts on tuesday for me so good call you wild one (you a doctor?)
thanks for your deliciously sassy diagnosis
life is so precious i hate that i still have times of inefficient anger internalized duh
often a reaction to others so it is time to go back to reading and No Radio Talk show hosts
and more dinners with friends
in the meantime i will not castigate gay men due to one gay radio host and whatever past experiences i had too bad for me
i will move on thanks to you all. Further fortified by realizing all the crap i was typing was pure negative banter
Over and out!
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Granny60
YOU ROCK!
Hellraiser: Yes is the answer to your Q. Thank you for your concern. Yes:
off with my issues finally finding <$200 session for CBT on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon sessions for 6 months to 9 months
fingers crossed that i will never cross into those self-destructive anger zones and fail to appreciate life at every moment possible and more specifically on this issue that binds us here -- that i will never disprespect again by such negative banter those that have gone before us each with their own struggle and many responsible for us being here today fighting for better medicines to combat this retrovirus at all it's stages of replication.
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Too much drama is never enough, eh? ;)
MtD
oh dear Matty you got me good with that one. That whole 'drama queen' stuff that's cool i'm down with gay 101
thanks for the laugh though and have a great weekend :)!
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I'm no psych doctor, but have you ever taken a quiz on what qualifies one as ADHD? I'm just asking, no real reason.
with psychiatrist seen since the post-traumatic AIDS disorder, quizzed along the lines of wiki's
"DSM-IV criteria
IA. Six or more of the following signs of inattention have been present for at least 6 months to a point that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level:
Inattention:
Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
Often has trouble organizing activities.
Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (such as toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
Is often easily distracted.
Often forgetful in daily activities.
IB. Six or more of the following signs of hyperactivity-impulsivity have been present for at least 6 months to an extent that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level:
Hyperactivity:
Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.
Often gets up from seat when remaining in seat is expected.
Often runs about or climbs when and where it is not appropriate (adolescents or adults may feel very restless).
Often has trouble playing or enjoying leisure activities quietly.
Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor".
Often talks excessively.
Impulsiveness:
Often blurts out answers before questions have been finished. (See: NAQT)
Often has trouble waiting one's turn.
Often interrupts or intrudes on others (example: butts into conversations or games).
II. Some signs that cause impairment were present before age 7 years.
III. Some impairment from the signs is present in two or more settings (such as at school/work and at home).
IV. There must be clear evidence of significant impairment in social, school, or work functioning.
V. The signs do not happen only during the course of a Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Schizophrenia, or other Psychotic Disorder. The signs are not better accounted for by another mental disorder (such as Mood Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, or a Personality Disorder)
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Why is probability so hard to grasp? The probability that a gay guy in a park has HIV is a thousand (million?) times higher than a 19yr old girl who says she is a virgin to her bf.
She might be lying and she might be a nympho - but the guy in the park already displays numerous qualities that make his HIV status very likely.
Of course the gay guy in the park might be a virgin and the girl might be poz and a nympho too... I think that the reality is that when you go to places where anonymous sex is the soup de jour you are likely to need to contend with STD's. HIV is an STD for the most part, unless you shoot up with shared needles in which case it is a recreational hazard.
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EEKYC: Darling any a**hole can get on the air and call themselves a "media personality." Please don't let some a**hole on the air influence your self-esteem. Chances are that the empty b***turd (misspell intentional) has self-esteem issues of his own.
NOBODY *deserves* HIV. Not if you are a hooker who thinks rubbers cause anal warts (even though they don't).
Now, as a few others pointed out. It's *my* fault that I have HIV. That doesn't mean I deserve it... it just means that when we play the blame game... I'm it. Nobody made me have unsafe sex... which quite frankly was enjoyable. Shock! Yes, I enjoyed it.
I'm reading this really interesting book called "Unlimited Intimacy: Relfections on the Subculture of Barebacking by Tim Dean" His research backs up my observations that bareback sex is a hell of alot more common. I once had a conversation with someone who will go unnamed, but who was responsible for doing outreach and education for GAYS (which also includes men who have sex with men.... which is still GAY sex.). He admitted to me that he didn't even practice safe sex all the time. (****)! This guy signs the budget for HIV testing and education in a large metropolitan city and it was his job to convince people that safe GAY sex was a good thing.... if he isn't eating the dog food who the hell is?
While there aren't many things that I like about religion in the context of a sexual conversation.. there is one quote I do admire..... I believe it was attributed to Jesus: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." to which I would add "better not be any stones flying around here!" That sums it up nicely and jerkwad on the air is just another example of what I call "though pollution" that passes for modern broadcast radio.
Just in case you had never thought about it... Here is the radio business model in a nutshell. Sell influence over the public to businesses and special interests (a type of business) by using content (songs, personalities, controversy) as bait.
It's not unlike print media, save that print media uses intelligent content instead of songs.... which could arguably be intelligent content..... until you listent to them.
PBS and it's minions are the only media that is arguably non-profit, and even then by the very nature of opinion it's content is biased. So in essence there is no perfect answer.
About the only thing you can do is turn the radio off, shout at it, tell yourself that "This a**hole has no power over me and he's an ignorant piece of **** (insert your favorite four letter word here.... hint - goes well with toilet paper)."
Now, if you are a poo stirrer like some of us, you might send him an email an offer to show him around. There are only a few things that I ever remember as being distinctly taboo in gay culture.... one of which was telling people with HIV that they deserved it.... and another was telling someone they would wind up poz.... so I'm not gonna tell you to tell him either... but I'm just sayin that some people have to learn their lessons the very hard way and that he might need a friend one day to help him navigate the living hell of crap that us heathens go through to get meds, healthcare, and counseling. The only thing better than telling someone "I told you so" is knowing that they know you want to say it but won't because your a nice guy.
Lastly,
You give a damn or you wouldn't post here and respond. That's a good thing. Just take it one day at a time and realize that you are a good person. Learn to love yourself for who you are, as you are, with your faults, and your strengths. After all, if you don't love you, who else will? Whether you are fat or athletic, pretty or homely, short or tall, fat or skinny... you pretty much are who you are and like a game of poker it's difficult to change your hand. So the sooner you accept what you have to work with and realize that pretty much everyone has self-esteem issues the sooner you can make the best out of what life has dealt you and enjoy each day to it's potential. Some people never learn that lesson and they manifest themselves as a blowhard piece of (****) <insert 4 letter word that goes with Toilet Paper> on the air masquerading as some gay pariah of knowledge.
Welcome to the forums and remember the only thing you can do with (****) is flush when you move on to some other productive activity.
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Wow hotpuppy i just read you reply and I Thank you for helping me prevent the quick switch to self hatred i get esp with gay men making mocking statements etc and certainly do not call after disclosure.
but i realize hov poz men can do that too duh!
as for the poo sti -- I did send "Karel" AND green960.com station that I listed to him on that also carries Randi Rhodes (a Lady Bunny favorite as well as mine) and the Excellent Truth Seeker Mike Malloy afterwards. (SO that's what had made me especially pissed)
I love their green960 station BASED in San Francsico BUT THEY ALSO NEVER EVEN form-letter returned my email. WTF do they care about hiv ex-fags in 2010 right?
But i would like to say thank you again for helping me make this "Pride" weekend much more celebrate-able for me. Have a good one yourself and see you around!