some advice please?

[john_doe]

Hello I found this forum through Google. Mu partner is positive we found out a year and a half ago. I am really concerned with his mental health. On a regular basis he appears to get unwell but not in the usually way I hope I can try to write this and explain it properly. It will start with a blocked nose/sinus type symptoms with an upset tummy along with it can come high levels of anxiety, shakiness and change in behavior where my partner can become paranoid constantly checking the phone, computer and my phone. There was one episode of this and it was a bad one so much so that I didn't know what to do and paramedics had to come out (he wouldn't sleep was paranoid repetitive behaviour, unable to speak properly and very confused) anyway his meds were then changed from Atripla to Epivir in November. He hadn't had any of these symptoms again so I definitely thought it was the medication causing it but for the last couple of months it's started again. I have tried to speak to him about it but he brushes it off but I think he should deal with this issue now before it gets worse.

Does anyone have any advice or own experiences like this they know of?

Thank you

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Welcome to the forum.

I have moved your thread to "Someone I Care About Has HIV " you can post here and in "Off Topic" .

I'm sorry to hear what you are going though with your partner. Can I ask did he report this to his ID Doctor I only ask as you mentioned a change in his meds ?  Is he getting any type of counseling or support at the moment ? Do you go with him to his appointments ?

The problem is and I know this first hand is it's very difficult to help someone who is brushing off the issues and refusing help. And without seeing a Doc or Professional and/or both it's difficult to say what the exact cause is of the behavioral issues.
I mean the meds he is on Lamivudine could alter his mood. (Depression) but that's not to say it's the case or cause and he would need to talk to someone.

What i would do but that's just me is, I would start by picking a moment when he is not having any problems and discuss with him in a frank but caring manner that you are concerned for him and want to make sure he's okay. In the mean time keep a journal to track of any incidents, and if you are close to any family see what they think and if they can assist. Talk to your own Doctor if possible and raise the concerns see what advice he/she can give you and in the meantime don't forget to look after yourself.

Jim.

[john_doe]

Hi Jim thank you very much for your reply. I will be speaking to him about it tomorrow as we both can't go on like this. He did allow me to go to his appointments with him but not anymore again I think it's because I have brought up this issue before and it has been swept under the carpet. I do believe unfortunately with doctors a lot of the time you really have to press for issues to he addressed. He doesn't want any Councelling or to speak to anyone but me about this  (family and friends don't know about his status) again thanks for your advice I will make sure we can get things improving

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Well I wish you all the best tomorrow and hope that he can see you are bringing this up for his own good.

My experience is the same with Doctors that you do indeed have to push the Doctors for results and action.  I have had experience (not HIV related) with family members who had either Mental or Physical problems and refused any help, So I know how hard it can be as the loved one trying to help them and getting them to see it for their own good.

Again wishing you all the best and as said before make sure you look after yourself as well. 

Jim

[AusShep]

John, are you certain your partner is taking his meds, and do you know his last bloodwork results?  Do you know his numbers at diagnosis?  Has he had any opportunistic infections?  I'm asking as there are some causes that can be physical, which I've personally dealt with, not just depression or psychological only.

I'd push for an ID doctor appointment, and you need to be in the room to explain what's going on.  Make it for him and take him there yourself if you have to.

[john_doe]

Hi Aus thanks for the reply. Yes he definitely takes his medication he has from the start of being prescribed taken them religiously at the same time every day. The last time I was present at an appt his blood work came back undetectable and has been that way for over a year now his cd4 count is fine there has been Dips when he's had the flu. Numbers at diagnosis were cd4 of 190 and vl of 30,000. 

[AusShep]

Well that's good news, it's probably not one of the scarier medical issues.  I'd still talk it over with his regular ID Dr and try to get a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist.  He may need some non-HIV meds to help out.