Baby

[Salteen]

For some reason every since my husband and I got married, everyone has been baby crazy, accept me.  I would like to eventually but come on people give me some freakin time!  I don't know if I will ever be real ready.  I have been treated so badly my whole because of HIV, I can't even imagine the judgment when I try and have a kid, even though its very possibly the kid and I would be fine.  I seriously have just taken the abuse and I think I am at the point that if anybody else would be judgmental towards me because of HIV, I would probably verbally or physically punch them!  Anyone know what I mean?

On another note, my father wrote a book about AIDS, that was fine, alittle too nice.  I am starting to write my own with more real stuff in it, far from done.  Should be very interesting. 

[Ihavehope]

Salteen

Follow your heart and brain. I have a mother with severe diabetes and it has been ok, but when she gets severely ill I get very depressed. Many parents think of having a baby and think it is cure and heart warming when they are babies but forget that these kids will grow up and not be so cuddly no more. There is also alot of educating about your disease since there is such a stigma and you do not want your child to have fear. In other words, there are pros and cons. Good Luck in your choice.

Al

[Boo Radley]

Salteen,

Although I'm a male, and a gay one at that, I think I can somewhat appreciate the stress caused by relatives and friends who expect newlyweds to drop a baby 9 - 12 months after they get married.  Were I in your shoes I'd think of some nasty retorts to shut them up but I'm sure you're a better person than I am. 

Don't let anyone pressure you into having a child.  Only you and your husband can make that decision together, and since you have alll the work (i.e., pregnancy!) you get final word, period.

Good luck!

Boo

[ACinKC]

You having a baby is no worse than ANYONE else that may have a genetic disorder deciding to have kids as well.  THAT IS WHAT I WOULD TELL THEM!  There is ALOT more risk for inheriting BAD genes from parents than HIV.

Tell em to FUCK OFF!

[Ihavehope]

I don't blame the people around Salteen to be concerned about her having a baby because they probably don't know that it is possible to have a baby without he/she being born with the virus.

Parenting is alot of work in itself and being HIV poz in many cases is a load work in itself. If someone is having second thoughts and is not clear about a big decision like that then I think they should really not do it.

[ndrew]

Salteen,

I have straight girlfriends who are anti-baby.  They complain about all the social pressure, especially as they get older, as though they are not complete without offspring, but they are sweet, loving teachers.  Keep up the fight!

Drew

[Eldon]

Follow your heart.