HIV risk from pre-cum in my vagina

[Elza]

Hello, I may be at risk of contracting HIV and I would really appreciate some personal advice since I am absolutely alone in this situation and I am going crazy.
I had sex with a guy and he didn't use a condom. His penis was in my vagina 2 times but for the very short time, I guess not more than few minutes all in all. I didn't expect he won't use a condom and I asked him after first time to put it on, he said he will, but he didn't and after second time I refused to continue. That was it, but it left me so concerned and scared. The fluids I had contact with in my vagina are saliva and pre-cum.
I asked him about his HIV status. He told me that he has done STD testing and all test was negative, but I don't trust him anymore and I don't know if he had sex after his "last test".
I am extremely stressed. I know that I deserve this for being very irresponsible and I can't stop blaming myself. I can't fall sleep, I have nightmares every night, and I can't concentrate on my job. I drink every night sleeping pills, just to survive the night, I work like crazy just to not think about this situation and the time between the job and sleep and weekends are the hardest parts of my life now.
I got the appointment on the end of 11th week (I couldn't wait anymore), but as the day is coming I am losing the last pieces of self-control. Can You please tell me Your opinion, some facts and statistics related to my situation.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

So the guy claiming to have been tested means nothing, even if he did test and it was negative all it would mean is he was negative some 3 months ago. To be honest its pointless to ask sexual partners, just presume they are all living with untreated HIV and protect yourself accordingly is the best advice i can give you.   

Put the condom on him yourself next time, i know we would like to trust people but simply don't.

You are getting tested at 11 weeks, that's good. Normally we recommend testing at 6 weeks and 13 weeks to confirm the earlier results. All in all reading the post i would expect the HIV results to be negative when you do test, but do indeed test to confirm as its the only way of knowing.

Ill add you should be testing for easier to transmit STI's whilst you are testing for HIV.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

[Elza]

Thank you for the answer.

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome.

Remember to relax I am sure you will be fine when you test.

Jim

[Elza]

I hope that too, but the fact stays the same: I am at high risk of contracting HIV. And that‘s it. And I didn‘t do a drunk mistake. I knew for some time, liked and trusted the guy... That’s why I didn’t expect this will happen and that‘s why I didn‘t react properly. All in all, all those excuses don‘t matter... Just the thing is that one sometimes doesn‘t have to be drunk or careless about their sex partners... and still this will happen...

Anyway, thanks again, I really appreciate some human (if it’s okay to say like that) contact about my situation...

[Jim Allen]

Life happens, people make mistakes and have laps in judgement for all sorts of reasons. Hopefully we lean from the mistakes, the harsh lesson many have learned is that trust does not prevent HIV.

About your risk, the facts are you are not a high risk. You did however have a possible exposure and should indeed test, everything else is simply overthinking it and giving the event too much power over your life. Don't let it.

Jim