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Author Topic: Just tested + my life is over  (Read 3974 times)

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Offline KW12345

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Just tested + my life is over
« on: October 21, 2017, 07:33:14 am »
 :'( just tested + ... my whole life is over I have just brought a home have a mortgage. I work as a personal trainer so my I won't be able to work. My whole life was about sports and exercise now I can't do anything as I am so fatigued all the time. Worst thing is that I am also hetro so I will live the rest of my days alone. There's no point in me continuing and seeing my body waste away. I have already lost so much fat from my face legs and feet have shrunk. So deffo got lipodystrophy already.  I've accepted my fate I guess there's only one option now ....

Offline CaveyUK

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2017, 07:45:57 am »
Hi.

Firstly, you are not the only heterosexual guy living with HIV, and having the virus doesn't stop you having normal relationships. I have a home and mortgage and a decent job, I also have a long term (neg) girlfriend who is amazing. The stigma is of course there, but education is improving and being positive has no bearing on ability to hold down and have a fulfilling relationship, even having kids if thats what you want.

Secondly, whilst you are feeling ill now the treatment these days is amazing. Easy to take, no (or very few) side effects and literally stops the virus in it's tracks and allows your body to recover. You body will absolutely NOT 'waste away' - this isn't the 1980s.

Sports and exercise will be more important than ever before, and there isn't any reason you can't continue working as a PT or taking part in sport. There are countless folk living with HIV who run marathons and climb mountains so it's not as though you face a life as a hermit now you have a diagnosis.

And having the diagnosis is the best thing that could have happened, because now you can take control and build yourself back up. You are not just suddenly positive - depending on how long you have had it, you will have been positive a year ago when everything looked more optimistic...you just didn't know it. Now you do, you can use your skills as a PT around dedication and focus, to get back on track.

That said, if you really do have suicidal thoughts then that is a mental health issue you need to address urgently. Talk to your doctor and let them know, speak to a counsellor make use of forums such as this to see that quite aside from there being a life after diagnosis, but it will be a long and healthy one.

And if you really feel you are on the brink - get yourself to you local emergency room immediately. No-one will judge and everyone will understand,

Really do wish you all the best, but feel free to vent here - thats what we are here for

« Last Edit: October 21, 2017, 07:50:05 am by CaveyUK »
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Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2017, 08:12:03 am »
Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

When and how were you disgonised?
What has your doctor said regarding the weight loss? Have you been offered treatment and what are your vl and cd4 results like?

 lipodystrophy would surely not be the case but you can loose weight before treatment. I lost 10-11 kg in about 2 mouths it doesn't sound like you have that and good news is even if you did it all came back for me, with treatment and care it will for you as well.

Same goes for the fatgiue, you have no reason not to sport, work out or work as normal with correct treatment and a bit of time the tiredness will go again. HIV does not change or stop you from doing any of this in life.

I agree with Cavey life is far from over its 2017 not 1987.

Jim
« Last Edit: October 21, 2017, 08:31:52 am by JimDublin »
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Offline daveR

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2017, 08:32:04 am »
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I am with Jim and Cavey on this. Your life is far from over. I am not an athlete or never have been but I can still muster the energy for a work out after my normal job. Just give yourself some time to adjust both mentaly and physically. In a couple of months time when you have settled in you will be wondering what all the fuss was a bout.

You don't have to tell the people you work with anout it so they will never know. And as for the lipo I didn't think that even happened now with the modern drugs. When it did I thought it took something like 10 years or more to develope. Wieght loss could be stress and worry, just give it a while and you will be back to normal.

Good luck
Dave

Offline KW12345

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2017, 08:37:35 am »
I only got the call yday have to go see them next week.. hopefully it isn't but I just find it so weird how it effected my legs arms  feet and face I've been eating loads to try and get it back but it won't come back on those areas just my stomach.

My eyes also hurt and constant pins and needles and muscle twitching all over. Face also tingles where I lost the fat too it's really strange. I look about 10 years older

Offline KW12345

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2017, 08:41:38 am »
Ppl at the GUM clinic told me to go away and not bother testing again after 4weeks post exp was neg .... as I am a low risk group... I got worse and worse and tested again 8weeks after exp and was pos ... if I had of listened to the GUM clinic I would of infected others and probs died

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2017, 08:55:11 am »
Hi

Sounds more like stress.

Not sure what you mean with a call, until you have had confirmation testing and started treatment however I am going to ask you to only post in this one thread. This will help us support you were we can.

Arms, feet and face .. and Deposits of fat happen from the really old classes of medication and you are not on any yet and would not be treated with such old medication.

Ageing, stress could be factors. Do speak to your doctor GP about the concern when you can.

Only other thoughts are wasting desease would effect all of you but only be a concern if you had a long untreated hiv infection but even than no stress, as starting treatment and care will help get you back on track.

Testing well 3 months is conclusive inculding UK guidelines but I know GUM clinics don't do the follow up for low risk as 4 weeks is pretty much 95% sure, they instead recommend testing regularly and at least yearly.

Quote
I would of infected others and probs died

Not really, people are responsible for themselves inculding regular testing and practicing safer sex.

Jim

« Last Edit: October 21, 2017, 10:57:14 am by JimDublin »
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Offline Wade

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2017, 09:02:55 am »
Hey KW,

Sorry you're having such a rough time but as the others have said it will get better. Things will straighten out once you are on meds and talk to your doctor. Be sure to ask questions, maybe write some down before your first visit.

 
You certainly don't have lipo and Jim put it very well, it's 2017 not 1997.
I know because I was there...I also had a job and a mortgage and here I am retired now and 62 years old. You will have the pleasure of getting old too...I mean older  :)

There is plenty of support here when you need it.

Best,

Wade
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Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Just tested + my life is over
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2017, 11:26:39 am »
Re reading your posts, it seems than you have only been positive for 3-4 months or less (if confimed)

So it can't be lipo as a number of members have already pointed out and not wasting desease from HIV either. It sounds like you are simply overwhelmed and overthinking things, prehaps reading outdated or out of context information.

Get the results confirmed, start treatment and in the meantime see a GP regarding the weight problems.

Wishing you all the best and hope you feel better soon.

Jim
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