POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Toronto on October 15, 2023, 09:26:03 pm
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Please can I ask for help assessing my risk, I’m anxious about potential exposure to HIV. I had sex with 2 women, one after the other I was drunk at the time so even though I feel like I remember what’s happened I’m still anxious and keep replaying the scene of events in my head. Whilst having sex being drunk it became hard to stay erect so at some points I would become a little flaccid, I still tried to penetrate with the condom on whilst a little flaccid before then changing the condom to a new one and starting again. This happened 3 times in total. There is also I chance that the condom wasn’t rolled all the way to the base of the shaft when I was penetrating maybe half way along the shaft, above the head, but my urethra was always covered. I did not ever penetrate without having a condom on, and the condom did not fail. However, being extremely anxious I went to get PEP as I didn’t know their status. I started PEP maybe 50-52 hours after exposure. I would like to know was I at risk of transmission to begin with?
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you used condoms, even if badly, for penetrative sex and that was not a risk for HIV. You didn't need PEP. However, you should be screened for other STIs to ensure you didn't get one of the easier-to-transmit STIs.
Have a great day,
Michael
Reducing Your HIV risks:
With no exceptions, use condoms correctly and consistently for anal or vaginal intercourse
Talk to a healthcare provider about PrEP as another layer of protection
Get tested yearly for HIV and other STIs.
If you don’t use condoms and/or PrEP, test more frequently
Some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other more easily acquired STIs. It is possible to show no signs or symptoms from an STI so testing is the only way to know.
Get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.
What’s the ONLY way to know if you’ve been infected by HIV or an STI?
Get tested.
Please Note.
As a member of the "Do I have HIV" Forum, you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post, which will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread, and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be removed.
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Thank you Michael for getting back to me on this, and thank you to your team for providing this service.
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Hi,
Apologies but i’m back again. I currently have some symptoms after having finished PEP going on 2 weeks, and now I’m thinking maybe the condom broke without me knowing and maybe PEP hasn’t worked. Is this irrational?
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Is this irrational?
Yes.
Hope you feel better soon. Move on with your life, use condoms for any intercourse and as you are sexually active get an STI & HIV screening yearly out of standard routine.
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Hi again, trying to move on and not worry, but the symptoms I’m having keep bringing my mind back here. 2 weeks into PEP I developed a sore throat which led to a stiff neck/painful neck with no swollen Lymph nodes. The doctor had told me it was a viral infection and that I was recovering from it, later on I started having some aching in the back in my knee. Eventually both those symptoms calmed down. 5 days after finishing PEP which I took religiously I got a on and off sore-ish throat along with a on and off mild pain in my throat but for the last week (I finished PEP 2 weeks and a day ago) I’ve had some on and off pain in my groin, my armpit and back of knee. These are where the lymph nodes are however there is no swelling what so ever. I’ve also sometimes get a random burning sensation in my foot. These symptoms are making my mind race and wonder if there was some seepage into the condom or some hole inside the condom, maybe by a needle or oral, which could have lead to transmission, maybe the condom split a little and I hadn’t noticed. I do also remember after I had finished I gave a few extra pumps before pulling out, or after taking off the condom and whipping my penis fluid made contact with my urethra. I also had my nipple sucked briefly is there risk there? Please could I ask for a breakdown of those concerns? Is it possible I have had transmission?
I also have another question, concerned for those in my household, what are the chances of transmission by touching fluids left on the door handle unknowingly then rubbing one’s eyes or mouth?
Again, thanks for your reply in advance, much appreciated!
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I also have another question, concerned for those in my household, what are the chances of transmission by touching fluids left on the door handle unknowingly then rubbing one’s eyes or mouth?
Are you having comdomless sex or sharing syringes to inject drugs with those in your household?
wonder if there was some seepage into the condom or some hole inside the condom, maybe by a needle or oral
This is pure fantasy.
Did you share a syringe to inject drugs with these ladies? No, so needle are not a concern.
As for oral, well receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first.
Cunnilingus also isn't an HIV concern, and as for the condom, HIV can't be transmitted through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. Unless a condom obviously fails during intercourse, there is no reason to be stressing or testing for HIV outside the standard yearly HIV screening.
I also had my nipple sucked briefly is there risk there?
No, It's not a route and lacks exposure. Saliva is hostile towards HIV, breaking down the receptors HIV requires to infect.
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Thanks Jim! So if I condom was to fail due to any hole made by a pin, teeth during oral or because of a fault, it would’ve have been completely obvious to my eyes and there would have been no doubt? This question is coming from inexperience, I’ve never seen or had a condom fail before. As for nipple sucking sorry to go on about it, what you said about it lacking the route and exposure, could the same be said if there were a cut there?
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You have not answered my question about the household, so I will presume you are having condomless sex at home for the rest of the assessment.
Thanks Jim! So if I condom was to fail due to any hole made by a pin, teeth during oral or because of a fault, it would’ve have been completely obvious to my eyes and there would have been no doubt?
Falls under asked and answered already.
As for nipple sucking sorry to go on about it, what you said about it lacking the route and exposure, could the same be said if there were a cut there?
Cut would make no difference.
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A few things to mention here: HIV is fragile; once exposed to the environment outside the human body, the outer protein/receptors (GP120 and GP41) corrode, leaving HIV unable to infect.
Saliva doesn't contain viable HIV, and it is hostile towards HIV, and any day-to-day cuts, minor wounds, scrapes, ect, lack a direct route to the bloodstream.
As for the sex, we have, I think, fully covered that in previous posts. There is nothing more I can add other than, prehaps as a side note, HIV, due to the various barriers, such as it being fragile & requiring quantity to infect, always happens within the human body, as in not being exposed outside, like during condomless intercourse. Although somewhat irrelevant, I should also add that the fluids a woman produces when sexually excited or stimulated are lubricating fluid that doesn't contain viable HIV, the fluids that are an HIV concern are found far deeper into the vaginal tract.
Regarding the household contact & needle fears, I think if you read this far, you know I am going to say they are irrational, nothing more. There have been plenty of myths about contact in the household or contact with discarded needles, mostly stemming from irrational fears, stigma and outdated information, and it is not an HIV risk. However, those myths and people with these fears have been extremely harmful to people living with HIV over the years and continue to cause harm.
In short, the only way you are either getting HIV or passing it on in the household is through condomless sex and sharing syringes. On that note, if you engage in condomless sex with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, you should consider PrEP/nPEP and HIV testing more frequently.
Keep in mind that there are plenty of STIs that are easier to pass on, so there is no risk-free sex; get an STI screening yearly.
HIV needle and household myths: https://www.beintheknow.org/news-and-blogs/5-weirdest-hiv-transmission-myths-ever & https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=68441.0
This question is coming from inexperience
Some tips on correct condom usage:
Use approved condoms and check for a certification mark (e.g. FDA, C.E., ISO or Kitemark) because the condom complies with safety standards. Check the expiry date and make sure the condom is still within date.
Use lubricant condom-safe water-based lubricants to make condoms more comfortable and reduce breakage risk. – but avoid oil-based lubricants as they can weaken or break condoms.
As for putting the condom on correctly:
Incorrectly done, the risk of breakage can increase. Place the condom on top of the erect penis and pinch the teat at the end of the condom before you start to roll it down the penis. By doing this, you'll squeeze out any air bubbles and ensure there is room for the semen (cum). Roll the condom down to the base of the penis.
If it's on correctly, it will roll downwards easily. If you've started putting it on the wrong way, take it off, and even if you or your partner has not ejaculated (cum), there can still be semen or (pre-cum), so it's important to try again with a new condom. (More to do with risks from other STI's/pregnancy than anything else)
Never "test" the condom before or after intercourse. It's not needed at all and could damage the condom, as it's not designed as a reusable (re-stressed) product, and "testing" the condom could lead you to mistakenly think that the condom was damaged during sex when in fact, you caused the damage after the intercourse by trying to "test" it.
Instead, use condoms correctly and consistently. Finally, if they don't obviously break during intercourse, there is no reason to stress or test for HIV outside of standard yearly screening.
Anyhow, regarding the two ladies you posted about who are not from your household, you had sex and used a condom. You did not need PEP, but you took PEP anyway. So, you did not aquire HIV from the activities mentioned here with the two ladies; that much is certain.
Move on with your life, and please don't post about this again, as I will consider it excessive.
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
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Apologies didn’t mean to ignore your question. No there is no condomless sex or syringe sharing in my home. Thanks for breaking it all down for me Jim, very much appreciate! I’ve definitely got more that enough information. Have a great day.
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Hi Jim,
I had another encouter. Based on your pervious answer about there being no risk of HIV with oral, would that mean that if a woman put the condom on me with her mouth there is no risk?
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You have already been answered about situations that would put you at risk of HIV
In short, the only way you are either getting HIV or passing it on in the household is through condomless sex and sharing syringes.
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I just wanted to confirm. I’ve had sex, the woman rolled the condom on with her mouth gave me oral then we had penetrative sex with a condom. When I was finished I checked the condom and I could see it was intact and the reserve at the tip was filled, there is no risk right?
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Read back the thread and apply the information already provided
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Hi both,
Thank you very much for your answers and patience with me. As requested by the doctor I’ve done a blood drawn test after 4 weeks which has come back negative. I don’t plan on doing any further testing as the 2 different encounters I’ve posted about are both no risk and I intend to take a break from sex due to these irrational anxieties. My last question is, how reliable is a test 4 weeks after PEP?
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In your case, not testing after PEP would already be a reliable result. You must understand that we are not willing to pretend you had an HIV exposure or needed PEP & HIV testing outside of the standard yearly routine, as that would be a disservice to you and the community.
You had no exposure, no need for PEP, and if you post about this again, it will lead to a ban.
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
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Reading back the thread I had already previously warned you, so I've issued a 28-day ban.
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Hi please may I have some advice? I recently had sex with a CSW, I used a condom. However when I went to pull out my penis came out of the condom and the condom was left hanging out of her vagina. Is that a HIV risk, this was less than 24 hours ago, would it be advise to go and get PEP?
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It's not an HIV concern.
Next time, hold the base of the condom when pulling out.
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Thanks for the fast reply Jim! Much appreciated. Out of curiosity when does condom slippage become a HIV concern?
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For the insertive partner, if it entirely comes off during the act of intercourse, resulting in condomless sex.
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I assume in that case the condom would be nowhere in sight, as in I wouldn’t have seen hanging out of her vagina?
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Yeah. If you pull out and the condom has disappeared, you are in trouble.
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Reading back your entire thread and considering the number of condom myths and irrational HIV fears you have I think you should consider talking to a therapist about sex and your irrational HIV fears.
Also, it might help if you consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP. PrEP (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) is a medication you can take to prevent HIV Infection and this might give you some peace of mind during any future sexual encounters.
The most common PrEP medication would be a single pill containing emtricitabine and tenofovir disoproxil fumarate. You could take this daily or on-demand*. Talk to your doctor.
* https://i-base.info/guides/prep/on-demand
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Hi Jim, I think you’re right in all honesty. It’s something I’ll look into.
However thanks for your patience and straightforward approach. What you and the team do here is amazing, ta.
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You're welcome
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Hi Team. Unfortunately I’m back again after another incident. This time I had a hook up with a woman from my area. We had sex and used a condom for the whole session. She got on top of me and before she did I made sure the condom was on. When she went to get up she came up with the condom hanging out of her vagina. I’m sure I saw my penis fall/slide out of the condom as she was getting up. Think because I’m being anxious I’m asking myself if it came off during intercourse which most likely wasn’t the case. Reading back on my previous post would it be correct to say this was not a risk? And I’m okay to move on with my life?
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It's not an HIV concern. Move on with your life!
Start holding onto the base of the condom whilst withdrawing!
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Hi,
I seriously hope and will make sure this will be my last post on here. The reason I’m back is since last year maybe 3-4 weeks after finishing PEP. I’ve had issues with my gut, I’ve been dealing with bloating, frequent bowel movements. More frequent than I am use to experiencing, with a more softer consistency which can vary at times. I experience stomach discomfort and bubbling. This sometimes improves and then starts again. I’ve only just taken Imodium today which has seemed to at least ease the bowel movements but still feel quite bloated and have a bubbling gut. Other than the 3 interactions posted here I haven’t had unprotected sex I’ve used condoms. I did out of fear take PEP to be sure about my last ‘exposure’ . Should I be concerned that this is linked to PEP failure or HIV? Many thanks in advance for the response.
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You need to apply the information already provided to you in this thread.
I did out of fear take PEP to be sure about my last ‘exposure’
You had no exposure and we have answered this already and covered these activities with you and the lack of HIV risk and how to practice safer sex.
It's not an HIV concern. Move on with your life!
Start holding onto the base of the condom whilst withdrawing!
It's not an HIV concern.
Next time, hold the base of the condom when pulling out.
Reading back your entire thread and considering the number of condom myths and irrational HIV fears you have I think you should consider talking to a therapist about sex and your irrational HIV fears.
Also, it might help if you consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP. PrEP (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) is a medication you can take to prevent HIV Infection and this might give you some peace of mind during any future sexual encounters.
The most common PrEP medication would be a single pill containing emtricitabine and tenofovir disoproxil fumarate. You could take this daily or on-demand*. Talk to your doctor.
* https://i-base.info/guides/prep/on-demand
In your case, not testing after PEP would already be a reliable result. You must understand that we are not willing to pretend you had an HIV exposure or needed PEP & HIV testing outside of the standard yearly routine, as that would be a disservice to you and the community.
You had no exposure, no need for PEP, and if you post about this again, it will lead to a ban.
Reading back the thread I had already previously warned you, so I've issued a 28-day ban.
In your case, not testing after PEP would already be a reliable result. You must understand that we are not willing to pretend you had an HIV exposure or needed PEP & HIV testing outside of the standard yearly routine, as that would be a disservice to you and the community.
You had no exposure, no need for PEP, and if you post about this again, it will lead to a ban.
As for oral, well receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first.
Cunnilingus also isn't an HIV concern, and as for the condom, HIV can't be transmitted through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. Unless a condom obviously fails during intercourse, there is no reason to be stressing or testing for HIV outside the standard yearly HIV screening.
Saliva is hostile towards HIV, breaking down the receptors HIV requires to infect.
I currently have some symptoms after having finished PEP going on 2 weeks, and now I’m thinking maybe the condom broke without me knowing and maybe PEP hasn’t worked. Is this irrational?
Yes.
Hope you feel better soon. Move on with your life, use condoms for any intercourse and as you are sexually active get an STI & HIV screening yearly out of standard routine.
that was not a risk for HIV. You didn't need PEP.
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
You were warned, eight-week ban. See your healthcare provider and treat your gut issues, I hope you feel better soon.
I wish you well but we are not therapists and we can't help you overcome these emotional/mental health challenges. So if you keep having these issues with sex then consider seeing a therapist. Running around stressing every time you get laid isn't healthy.