Worried beyond words

[sadghost]

Hello,

I really need some advice, I am pretty much losing my sanity at this point,

12 days ago I had unprotected sexual encounters with a man I had just met, I know, very stupid, I feel nothing but shame and complete embarassment now.

I was incredibly drunk and very stupid, I am 20 he says he is 33.

Basically, we were kissing alot, and on 3 different occasions he attempted to push his erect penis into my vagina, I am/was a virgin till him, so it hurt alot and was not very successful. He didn't get it in on the 3 attempts, but because I was very aroused (but drunk) I think he got in more than I thought. He didn't ejaculate in me, he did that everywhere else, but I am worried about his pre-***. He also tried to make me give him oral sex but after about 10 seconds of trying I withdrew

A couple of days after the encounter my lips were incredibly chapped, I was frequently urinating and it was a dark orange to a dark yellow. I was experiencing constant hot flashes to the point where at times I felt like I was on fire but as I have upped my water intake this has reduced. Because a few days ago I felt like I was going to pass out, I ended up in A&E whom put me on a drip and were monitoring my heartbeat of which they claimed was worrying fast and irregular for someone of my age. Since then my urine has been less frequent and the colour has gone back to normal. But I still feel exhausted, I am constantly in bed, I feel nauseous and have no desire to eat. Whenever I do I just feel sick. I'm drifting in and out of a temperature but it's not as bad as my hot flushes, which I have a feeling is returning.

Now, my throat is incredibly sore and I am finding it hard to swallow, the back of my tongue has a white coating and my diarheaa has gotten darker I have even noticed rashes on my cheeks. I am a nervous wreck and I have lost my appetite completely, I know this was a stupid mistake of mine but I don't know what to do, please please help,

[Andy Velez]

First of all nothing you are reporting symptomatically is in anyway HIV specific. Given that you were drunk and uncertain about what actually happened, I think it is possible that actual penetration never took place. Nevertheless the cautious thing would be for you to get tested.

You can do it initially at 6 weeks. Assuming you test negative as I think is likely, you ought to re-test at 13 weeks for a conclusive result.

As you have unhappily learned, mixing casual sex with excessive drinking is something that you need avoid repeating in the future. It's a dangerous combination.

Based on what you have reported, I think the odds are in your favor that you will come out of this ok. If any symptoms continue you should discuss them with your doctor as other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[sadghost]

Thank you so much Andy for your reply to my message,

I can confirm to you that though very intoxicated those attempts did occur but didnt lead to full penetration because it hurt too much when he pushed further, Because he was so aroused I am petrified about the pre-cum because I dont know how much was present, and of course with the subsequent symptoms I am just losing my mind,

I have most definitely learnt my lesson, I will never forget this

I hope everything will be okay, but I just feel like I am dying here

[Andy Velez]

While waiting to test you need to make a real effort to focus on other things in your life.

Based on what you are reporting I am expecting you will test negative.

Now, get busy with something else in your life. Really. It will make the waiting time pass more easily than you may imagine is possible.

[sadghost]

Thank You Andy,

It is so hard to focus on other things when you are nervous wreck and feel this ill,

I really hope I am okay and I will definitely keep everyone posted about what the tests show, so far, I tested negative for HIV at 9 days but that was a rapid test and I know that I should discard it as it is not conclusive at this time frame,

[Andy Velez]

...and I still expect you to come out of this ok.

[sadghost]

Thanks Andy,

I am still freaking out though I went to the GP, he told me that I had 'something...gitus' and told me I had a virus and visible throat infection and now I am on a course of antibiotics, my temperature is sky high as I'm writing this. Though your words are reassuring arent these symptoms of ARS?

[Andy Velez]

No, those are not HIV-specific symptoms nor would your doctor be giving you antiobiotics if HIV was the issue.

I continue to expect you to test negative, even though your mind is still working overtime about this issue.

[sadghost]

Thank you Andy for your message,

If I were to test 4 weeks post exposure by a rapid HIV test which takes a blood sample and is placed in the solution is that a good way of discovering whether or not I have the virus because a rapid test appears to be the only method of detecting HIV offered at my GUM clinic?

[Andy Velez]

A negative would be a good harbinger of testing negative at 3 months. However, you'd do better to wait until 6 weeks after a risk. At that point all but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so, so a negative would be a very strong indication that you are going to continue to test negative.

[sadghost]

Thanks so much for the information Andy,

Trying to patiently wait without going insane, hoping I'm going to be okay as my GUM clinic has messaged me asking me to call them with regards to my screening results, I hope this is not a bad omen?!

[sadghost]

So today is exactly 4 weeks since the exposure, just wanted to ask would a HIV rapid test be a helpful indicator of my status?

Just to update, the GUM clinic telephoned me a few days ago to tell me that I tested negative for chlamydia, gonoreaa and syphillus, is this a good sign?

Thanks so much for all your help!

[Andy Velez]

Forget about "signs." How about just being glad you tested negative for those STDs.

I have nothing more to say at this time beyond what we've already commented. At the end of the day I expect you to come out of this ok.

[sadghost]

Ok Thanks Andy!

I shall keep you all posted with regards to my results of my hiv test when necessary.

[Andy Velez]

OK.