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Author Topic: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen  (Read 532951 times)

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Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1050 on: November 25, 2009, 10:10:37 am »
really? really,really?  :D
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1051 on: November 26, 2009, 03:50:32 am »
Quitter!  ;)
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1052 on: November 27, 2009, 05:34:53 am »
watching the game:




I'm tired. My 20lb Turkey was beautiful, and delicious. I made candied yams in place of mashed potatoes.
Whoever wrote that diabetic cookbook and made that suggestion:

Candied yams taste NOTHING like mashed potatoes...sigh

The corn bread was great, and I made brown rice.  

I made a pecan pie using pecans from Mom's huge, ancient pecan tree. Every year she fights off the squirrels and collects them, shells them and bags them up. She has it down to an art, and has about a thousand nutcrackers, 'each one better than the other'

I also made a Turtle Pie for the boys.

I bought a box, with a stuffed teddy bear on top. It's paw has 2009 and will be Madeline's Christmas present for her first Christmas. I had to keep hiding it as McKayla kept finding it "oh, is that for me?"


Madeline (8months)  McKayla (6yrs):



McKayla loves her little sister, and treats her like one of her dolls. Then.. there was the moment when she was holding her upside down by a foot..McKayla, that's not a doll!!



« Last Edit: November 27, 2009, 05:37:48 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1053 on: December 02, 2009, 10:39:10 am »
map to the north pole:




It's snowing. In Texas. I was going to mow the leaves. I don' have a wagon like Mikie has..., though I have found that running them over with the mower is a lot faster and easier.  Oh, well. It will probably turn to rain any minute now.

Family Christmas is coming to my house on either the 12th or 19th. Probably the 19th, Katie fell getting out of the shower and landed on her butt, and it's hurt ever since, Last night she was complainig that she couldn't feel her ...private area.  I handed her the phone to call the doctor and she wouldn't. Called mom, and she talked to her about the ..situation, and will call the doctor if nothing changes by tonight.

The tree is in the dining room. I still have to check the lights. I think the top burned out last year. (I might just buy a new one/ that's already got lights on it) but, that would be such a lazy thing to do? wouldn't it.?

I can't even get the decorations out until it stops snowing/raining.

I'm experiencing something absolutely weird with my right ear. It came up with these blisters along the edge down to the ear lobe. I-T-c-h-e-d/itches, and oozes and gets crusty. Just the thing you want to show your family... I finally found the right thing for it, that bacterial  cream. Or at least, it stopped itching, and when I look in the mirror I don't see it anymore.

 My next appt is this Friday. Everything always happens before or after an appointment.  

I blamed Katie and that can of Lysol she sprays on everything. Funny it was just the shape of and in the right placing of where I hold the phone receiver to my ear.

I went to the Food Bank yesterday and got a World Aids Day pin. (I didn't even know it was happening....which shows where my brain is at....on the toilet...and it's not diaherrea, just the opposite. (why can't it make up it's mind?)




« Last Edit: December 02, 2009, 11:08:36 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1054 on: December 02, 2009, 10:59:14 am »
Hi Ron , I sure wish we had snow here instead of cold rain ... at least snow is pretty to look at .

I bought one of those mulching mowers and it works great on leaves . If I rake leaves here I have to bag them up or they wont take them away . I hate bagging them worse than raking them .     
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Offline leatherman

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1055 on: December 02, 2009, 03:17:55 pm »
they keep trying to predict snow flurries here in upper SC; but I refuse to hear about it. I left Ohio for a reason you know (because I was tired of blizzards)  ;D Plus it's barely even been near 40 yet here. I swear these Rebs are all a bunch of cry babies when it comes to a little bit of cold ROFL.

let's not talk about mowers. I had to use Jim's mulching mower for a couple of years. Yes, it worked "rite nice" (as they say here in SC LOL) but it was heavy and unwieldly and it hated me. The mower I really wanted to use was my little $99 mower that I had just repaired the gas leak on and rebuilt the engine over the winter. While in the midst of moving over to Jim's house, I got robbed and they stole my jigsaw, table saw and my precious mower. argh!

Everything always happens before or after an appointment. 
of course it does. Didn't you read the manual? That's how it's supposed to work ;) ROFL

So how many are you hosting for your Christmas shindig? Holidaze with my OhioFamily was usually about 30 :o while a real family gathering here is only a total of 13.

Wonder if your allergic to Lysol? Ever since my PCP and pnuemonia days, I've been sorta germ-o-phoby and loooove Lysol. :D and febreze - any of that "water" scents (mountain rain, waterfall, morning mist - any flavor that comes in blue cans LOL  ;D)
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1056 on: December 02, 2009, 04:55:29 pm »


Wonder if your allergic to Lysol? Ever since my PCP and pnuemonia days, I've been sorta germ-o-phony and loooove Lysol. :D and febreze - any of that "water" scents (mountain rain, waterfall, morning mist - any flavor that comes in blue cans LOL  ;D)

Mikie I LOVE  Pinesol , Bleach and Lysol neutra air, my other half Bob says to cool it on all that stuff, he says to me "What the fuck are you trying to kill, it's only us and are 2 kitty cats, that never go outside, I must admit I'm VERY germ-o-phony, and wash my hands all the time, if I go outside of the house, I always tell Bob to wash his hands too, and he hates that LOL  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1057 on: December 02, 2009, 05:27:17 pm »
mmm Pinesol  :-* the only better smell is bleach  :D
but I am sooo bad about washing my hands, on that issue I have to agree with Bob. ;)
In my case, it's just me and 3 spaniels for the most part.

You haven't experienced love until a spaniel sneezes full force in your face, or barfs on your lap because they know you'll "take care of things". Plus I've ingested so much of their hair, there are no germs we haven't already shared.

after the PCP, I was quite freaked out and a literal hermit for several yrs; but nowadays only my lysol fetish still remains from those days. (in a nod to Thanksgiving we just passed, I'm still so thankful, for whatever reason, that I have been healthier these last couple of yrs. The 10 yrs beforehand were most miserable) However now that I moved that's the only reason I've been getting all these shots at the clinic. I'm being exposed to all sorts of new germs. But I have to quit talking about that now; before I really think about it and start freaking out. (i can't forget I had that drop in tcells back close to the "danger zone" ::) ) Learning this trick from deperession, my germophobia hides just under the surface, lurking, waiting, ready to pounce.  :o ;D

now where's did I sit that Lysol? I think I need to spray some around my desk ;) ;D
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1058 on: December 10, 2009, 11:38:25 am »
Well, no more snow, but a good steady northern wind blowing up your skirt kilt...brrrr...

Pine sol is Katie's most absolutely favorite aroma in the world of: I just cleaned..don'cha smell it?
I like bleach.

dark alley...



play that funky music...white boy...

Good news: my mysterious rash on my ear has disappeared.

I have lost 6 lbs.

The tree is up: standing in the living room with a splotchy display of lights that I try to convince Katie is very exotic, and we should leave it. .."No."  

Family Christmas is on the 19th and I have drawn our lil Jen-Jen's boyfriend . DannyJ. I call him DannyJ so we will know who we're talking about as we know have DanielG, another nephew and Jennifer's brother, Daniel S, Katie's son and resident terror  ;D  

I know nothing about him...*research=more work for the TODO list.

I've bought new lights and have procrastinated taking the old off. Those buggers burned out, every other strand, so they all must come off.

Walmart had these HUGE poinsettias for ten bucks all over the store, I spent my last visit:

picking up paw-paws putting them in your basket...I would see this really big one, and going down another aisle, there was an even better one. I bought a cheap bookcase for a corner in my bedroom to put clothes on, dressers don't work anymore (the drawers are full) and the closet is full, and I stopped hanging up my sweaters because of those bumps on the shoulders, that wouldn't go down.

I left my latest choice of poinsettia stuffed between two floor displays.

I got another denial for SSDI form SSA today. I am so depressed...and tired. I'm ready to go down a dark alley with HIV Queer on my back and let them have me without a fight. I don't understand these judges. All the doctors say, can't work. tons of medical reports. and still,  ..".no"

Mikie, you hit it in reigningpages talking about the depression monster,  because he is chasing me.  

I can't file for SSI until January as my resources were over two thousand on the first of the month.

A EU-reka moment. I now know that every first of the month, a window opens and displays your resources for that day, and then closes. It won't open again until Jan 1st. So, I have closed my other IRA and am trying to find how to sign over my stocks to mom. All before Jan1st.

There is a section on setting up a 'trust fund' for children, but nothing about just signing the account over: and gold is doing too well to even think about selling it right now.

I am so tired... and look good. This is not setting well, as in their eyes, I look good, therefore, I am good. I hurt, I'm tired and I am so depressed over it all that I don't even know what I'm saying.






"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1059 on: December 10, 2009, 12:16:42 pm »
Well, no more snow, but a good steady northern wind blowing up your skirt kilt...brrrr...

Pine sol is Katie's most absolutely favorite aroma in the world of: I just cleaned..don'cha smell it?
I like bleach.

dark alley...

play that funky music...white boy...

Good news: my mysterious rash on my ear has disappeared.

I have lost 6 lbs.


I got another denial for SSDI form SSA today. I am so depressed...and tired. I'm ready to go down a dark alley with HIV Queer on my back and let them have me without a fight. I don't understand these judges. All the doctors say, can't work. tons of medical reports. and still,  ..".no"

Mikie, you hit it in reigningpages talking about the depression monster,  because he is chasing me.  

I can't file for SSI until January as my resources were over two thousand on the first of the month.

I am so tired... and look good. This is not setting well, as in their eyes, I look good, therefore, I am good. I hurt, I'm tired and I am so depressed over it all that I don't even know what I'm saying.

Cheer-up Ronnie, it's Christmas time ya know, and you have the love of your Great Family around you, to fill you with all the love and needed support, a lot of us here don't really have that luxury ( I sure don't  :(  ) but, I consider everyone here in this forum to be my family, so, that's good enough for me  :D  JAN 2010, is just around the corner, that's right, a brand new yr. to start all-over-again, and wipe the slate-clean, congrats on the 6lb loss, and the rash, somethings have a strange way of working themselves out ya know, it's the waiting game that get's kinda tedious, but Ronnie, Happy Holidays, and Hang-in-there buddy  ;)
« Last Edit: December 10, 2009, 12:29:20 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1060 on: December 10, 2009, 02:19:42 pm »
Happy Holidays Ron . I am predicting a better year for you and I have magical powers to make sure it happens . I also have swamp land for sale .
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HIV Transmission and Risks
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You can read more about HIV prevention here:
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PEP and PrEP

Offline leatherman

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1061 on: December 10, 2009, 04:09:05 pm »
Quote
I got another denial for SSDI form SSA today.
damn!
keeping hanging in there though! As more time goes by you'll eventually be poorer and sicker and will finally get approved. LOL  :D sorry I thought this was that "black humor" thread :D

Quote
I am so tired... and look good. This is not setting well, as in their eyes, I look good, therefore, I am good.
I'm always thankful for feeling crappy if it's a day I have to deal with any social workers. And I always make sure to dress "down" too. I figure the more pitiful and sickly I look, the more likely they'll be to help me. It was really nice back in the day when I could go into those offices coughing and wheezing after the pneumonias. There have been times though when I was feeling okay and had enough weight on that I "almost" wished I had so KS lesions to "prove" I only had 25 tcells and felt like shit but was trying not to embarrass both me and the social worker by barfing across their desk. Maybe though the barfing would do the trick. I'll have to give that a try next time  ;) :D

Quote
Mikie, you hit it in reigningpages talking about the depression monster,  because he is chasing me. 
I think my next few updates are still going to sound a bit bi-polar-y; but that's the depression's fault too. I'm going to be sad about a "would-have-been" anniversary for Jim and I on the 18th; but I just can't be sad about the "surviving aids for 17 yrs since my diagnosis" anniversary on the 26th. So I'll be crying one weekend and happy the next. Sheesh

You know of all the side-effects for being HIV+, even more than barfing which I've done just way too damned much, the one I would love to trade away is the freaking depression.

Quote
Good news: my mysterious rash on my ear has disappeared.
so maybe it wasn't a Lysol rash? But maybe if she just really sprayed it good and you picked it up soon while it was slightly dampish, maybe you did get an earful. Whatever though, glad to hear that cleared up.

Quote
I have lost 6 lbs.
WooHoo!

Quote
picking up paw-paws putting them in your basket
ROFLMAO

Quote
I left my latest choice of poinsettia stuffed between two floor displays.
so did you ever get a poinsettia or did you not find the right one yet?
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1062 on: December 11, 2009, 09:06:28 am »
Dear Ron
I am sending you a big hug and a holiday smooch.
Hang in there.
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1063 on: December 11, 2009, 03:54:34 pm »
Dennis.. *pouts*  I don't like the waiting game.

Jeff...I always knew you were holding out on us..magic huh? Bring it on over here and we'll see if we can't get it jump started :p

Mikie...the story of my life is black humor.... :D

Joel... :-* thanks for the smooch


yule tide...




I spent a day at the hospital today. I had the coumadin clinic, then I went to radiology for an upper GI.
After drinking two bottles of boramin(?) stuff to make your 'innards glow...they take an Xray. The you wait for 15 minutes and depending on how well your system is working, every other 15 minutes another Xray is taken to see where the stuff is at, and if there are any obstructions.

The girl was amazed at how fast my body was trying to rid itself of this 'chalky' substance I had ingested. I told her I had also taken my morning water pill   :D

Well, it 'aint out of me yet. I feel like I have been punched in the gut. She gave me a sheet to sign releasing them me, from any further complications as she explained for me to freak when my stools didn't come out the right color for awhile... 0.0

Moaning past the gift shop window, these huge glass ornaments with these snowmen inside with a lighted base caught my eye and I bought two. One for me ( cause I'm worth it) and one for my little sister, who it turns out is who I drew for Secret Santa, not my nieces boyfriend...I really need to have some kind of psyhc work up as I am having a terrible time with 'events':

I couldn't get the year right or my birthday, or my age the other day when talking to the hospital advocate, who went over the application I sent in to SSA,( which got denied) and wrote comments in the margin on how she would have answered them.  o.0






« Last Edit: December 11, 2009, 03:57:12 pm by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1064 on: December 11, 2009, 03:58:47 pm »
I'm glad you still have your sense of humor intact ;-)
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1065 on: December 11, 2009, 07:06:54 pm »
Ron,

I'm so sorry you got denied again that just sucks ... sorry no words of wisdom just lots of sympathy & hugs!

AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1066 on: December 14, 2009, 12:55:45 pm »
Dennis.. *pouts*  I don't like the waiting game.



And who does Ronnie........but, you know by now, that you are going to have to be BROKE and Dam-near Homeless, and sick as a dog (as Leatherman Mikie stated in an earlier post), that's the way the system works, the worst off you can show that you are, the better change you'll have, when i got denied the 1st time around, I re-applied, and this time, I had no resources left, and everything was about to run dry, Medicaid Food Stamps, and State General relief was in my future, not only was I SICK as a dog, and had 90 T-cells with 3 IO's all going on at the same time......

Then about 3 months later low & behold, when I was at the very bottom of the food chain, and near homelessness I receive an SSDI Awards Letter with about a 1 yr and a half of back pay, I don't want to get your hopes up, and this may NOT even play out the same way, but, I think you get the Idea, Ronnie Hang-in-there, it's can be a long and daunting process, and do keep in mind that if you haven't worked in over 5 yrs. you won't get any back pay for all those yrs. instead it only go's back to the date when you became disabled determined by SSA       ;) in the mean time enjoy the Holidays with your family, at least you do have that to look forward to  :D
« Last Edit: December 14, 2009, 01:06:55 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1067 on: December 17, 2009, 08:42:46 pm »
And who does Ronnie........but, you know by now, that you are going to have to be BROKE and Dam-near Homeless, and sick as a dog (as Leatherman Mikie stated in an earlier post), that's the way the system works, the worst off you can show that you are, the better change you'll have, when i got denied the 1st time around, I re-applied, and this time, I had no resources left, and everything was about to run dry, Medicaid Food Stamps, and State General relief was in my future, not only was I SICK as a dog, and had 90 T-cells with 3 IO's all going on at the same time......

Then about 3 months later low & behold, when I was at the very bottom of the food chain, and near homelessness I receive an SSDI Awards Letter with about a 1 yr and a half of back pay, I don't want to get your hopes up, and this may NOT even play out the same way, but, I think you get the Idea.....

edited to add: a friend of mine tried to get on SSDI for about 12 yrs. and everytime he was denied, so, after 12 yrs. he finally came down with Cancer this last June, 2009, he's been on Chemo for about 5 months now, and in September of 2009, he finally got SSI, he did not get SSDI, cause he hasn't worked in way over 5 yrs. what that means is this: he lost all of his 40 quarters of work history (After not working and paying into the system for 5 yrs.) so SSI was the only thing left that he could apply for, and he didn't get any back-pay for this, he only got that to when the date he became disabled, so now do you see what I mean, when I say the longer your outta work, the harder it is.....

 Ronnie Hang-in-there, it can be a long and daunting process, and do keep in mind that if you haven't worked in over 5 yrs. (like I said above)  it only go's back to the date when you became disabled determined by SSA       ;) in the mean time enjoy the Holidays with your family, at least you do have that to look forward to, and next yr. 2010 is a brand new yr. so, you can start all-over-again, so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family  :D
« Last Edit: December 17, 2009, 08:48:53 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1068 on: December 20, 2009, 06:13:08 am »
Oh, Dennis.

I spoke with Binder/Binder and they stated that being under psychiatric care would be a plus to everything else that is going on. I don't know if I want to know what that means: definitely don't want to be locked up somewhere. 

I've made an appointment with legal services at AOC and will see what they have to say.

It took me four days and 8 pain killers to get the old lights off, and two days  qnd 4 pain killers to get the new lights on. Then I took another pain killer and decorated the thing and then another pain killer to attack the dining room:





top of entertainment center:



march of the nutcrackers:





I got my latest lab results:
CD4  550
VL 109  :(   It went up, am no longer undetectable~ doctor says that we are going to call it a blip.

I really. really need to address my brain functions with DRG when next we meet as I had written out the Christmas cards and Chera had to educate me on the children's names:

McKayla ~is really Makayla
Madeline~ is really Madalynn

Where was I when these changes must have occurred? as I am pretty sure I have been spelling Makayla as McKayla for the past six years....0.0

I only turned around and I heard Makayla on the couch making a story for the birds? That lil bugger had taken the birds off the tree and was going for the puppet and rocking horse. I had to give her a lesson on how Christmas Trees aren't toys and that those birds were over 30 years old and that they weren't to even be touched.

I did tell her that if one did want to play with certain things and not get caught that they should learn how to put them back exactly as one had found them.  ::)  \as I was giving the lecture, I was replacing everything and something looked...off.

Katie has these little cowboy hats and saddles that she adores and I don't think belong on a tree....but:



...there they were. Katie always comes in behind me and does her thing to the tree. I allow it. Aren't I an angel?

Then Chera pulls out this blob of purple rubber and it is called a ?Bumbo?  It is a seat that baby sits in and can't really get out of. .(though Chera admits that Madalynn is perfecting the art of escapism)..what will they think of next?

Madalynn in her ?Bumbo?




just to show that Madalynn isn't a blimp:



Two more pain killers and I pulled out the mower and ran over a  4 inches deep layer of leaves in the front yard, and driveway. Then I swept the front porch and driveway and front curb. Then I hung the outside lights.

I suck at taking night time pictures:



By now, No pain pill was powerful enough, I had to lay down. My edema in leg/ankle/foot was ...gross, and I didn't care. I had completed decorating: a task that usually took me at least two days, now took me a week. The only thing that did not hurt was my teeth and hair.

Through all my moaning during my numerous rest breaks, Katie joined the chorus. She kept moaning that this would probably be her last Christmas. So, I joined her chorus moaning that it would be my last Christmas. ... She has finally agreed to go to the emergency room on Monday. I have to make sure she gets up for her MITS ride, even if I have to drink two gallons of water and sleep upright in the chair. (although, here lately, though it does get me up, I dream of peeing only to wake up and find that I AM peeing....in my pants. :(


"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1069 on: December 20, 2009, 06:23:27 am »
Sorry your guys are in pain ... but the pics are great !!!!
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Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1070 on: December 20, 2009, 10:24:02 am »
I agree...the pics are great!
Hope the ride to the emergency room goes well.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1071 on: December 20, 2009, 11:24:55 am »
Oh Ronnie.......I hope that all them pretty lights bring you PEACE, after all, that is why you put them up RIGHT?  I'd sure would hate to pay your electric-bill after this is all over............LOL  ;D  so sit back and enjoy them pretty lights while you still can, and just maybe it will sooth all your pain away, wishing you and your family the BEST Holiday season EVER.....oh and weather or not it's your last Christmas really isn't up to you , now is it?  ;D    Season Greetings  ;)
« Last Edit: December 20, 2009, 12:11:26 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1072 on: December 20, 2009, 12:37:01 pm »
ohh..ahh... look at all the pretty lights... :D


For a moment, I am pain free...




shhh...Santa's Chief Elf//wrapping presents...




making the most of it...doing the jingle bell rock..(a little cardio..64lbs to go)



mirror, mirror, on the wall...oh, never mind...



Mom just called. We just got up, and she has already been to church, and gone to Walmart (we are getting Katie her first cell phone....welcome tot he 2000'ses) I am not drunk, though my little sister Terry did bring beer yesterday..she also, oh so carefully, took any and all that weren't consumed with her.. :D

Daniels has been on the front porch strumming his guitar...


edited to add: I may need to advise DRG that I might need more than one pain pill a day! (just a thought)

« Last Edit: December 20, 2009, 12:39:11 pm by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline leatherman

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1073 on: December 20, 2009, 05:55:52 pm »
Merry Christmas Ron!
Thanks for sharing all those great pictures! For as much as I complain about Christmas too, it is all about what you make it to be, and it looks like you're trying to make it festive and gay! ;D

I raked up most of the last of the leaves here a week or so ago; but I'll tell you, raking or mowing leaves is a lot more fun than shoveling 6 inches of snow off the walks. ROFL

oh, I got a story you'll get a kick out of. ;) You know my Mom's got that cat, Mr. Kitty, who's an outdoor cat? well when they were predicting the snow the other day, Mom (after 10 yrs) got worried and let the cat in the house for a while. She showed him the doggie door and wondered if he would use it. So I got down and my hands and knees and showed the cat how it worked. While it took my spaniels 3 days to get the hang of it, the cat learned it after that one showing ::) and now won't stay out of the house! ROFLMAO :D
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1074 on: December 20, 2009, 08:22:59 pm »
Ron those pics are great!!!
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1075 on: January 09, 2010, 06:36:45 am »
penguins:




Whatever doesn't kill you will probably try again.

Another year, another trip to the hospital: Mastoiditis..I can't even pronounce it.

I may have to call DrG again on Monday as the ringing in my head is so loud...let's just say that I am irritable. DrG  did say that it would not heal overnight, but because HIV is thrown into the mix, that it needs to be treated..aggressively...0.0

I got a letter from SSA and the case I thought was closed...'ain't. I have an appointment on Wednesday for a....'Mental Status Evaluation  These people are trying to drive me crazy. I have no idea what is going to happen. Are they going to lie me down on a couch and ask me weird questions? hypnotize me? make me interpret ink blots?  Give me truth serum?  *if they do, they better record it and give me a copy...I would love to hear what my subconscious mind is thinking.*

The letter states that they cannot make a determination without this test.

At physical therapy the therapist thought I was being sarcastic, which, I guess some people would think of when hearing Dark Humor...but, I did tell her that I had a severe inner ear infection, that I was dizzy and the ringing in my head was loud: like a smoke alarm has gone off, and someone needs to run and open the door and shut off the oven so it will stop...please make it stop
i feel like crap...
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1076 on: January 09, 2010, 11:05:43 am »
Ron
I was wondering how you are doing. I'm so sorry you arent feeling well.  Although I have nothing to complain about really...I spent Christmas on antibiotics and very low.  Sinus infection and bronchitis.  I sufficiently recoverd from that to paint a room and clear out two rooms for new carpeting.  Then I crashed and slept through New Years Eve.
Hope things get better for you, Ron

Hugs
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline joejoe1972

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1077 on: January 09, 2010, 11:08:23 am »
rondrond, the mental status test is just a psych test they give you to determine how you are doing mentally, I used to have one every year, until I guess they determined that I'm still going to have this disease.They will eventually leave you alone, have patience, it sounds like you are at the end of it. Not to many more hoops to jump threw. They will get less intrusive into your life as time passes bye.

Best Wishes,
JoeJoe
Hiv+ since 1991, AIDS since 2001

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1078 on: January 09, 2010, 11:24:01 am »
Ronnie, I hope you start feeling better soon  :(..........12 yrs ago I recall having a test like that right before I was approved for SSDI, they ask you simple questions, like you name SSN, Place of birth, what yr this is, your address, siblings names, your Mom & Dad names, names of doctors, where you were Born  ;D
they are just checking how alert you are, and if your really all that sick, so, don't worry it's really nothing, and there's no PASS or FAIL :D   I looked like HELL when I took mine, I didn't shave, and wasn't groomed at all, I looked like a homeless and very confused person......, and I didn't answer a lot of the questions, as I was a little out-of-it, and very sick at that time, so I think you get the Idea  ;D  FYI:  make sure you bring all of your medications, I brought a boat load of them in a huge baggie, and couldn't remember what they were all for..........LOL  ;D
« Last Edit: January 09, 2010, 11:30:21 am by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1079 on: January 09, 2010, 11:28:31 am »
I looked like HELL when I took mine, I didn't shave, and wasn't groomed at all, I looked like a homeless and very confused person
anytime I have to see a social worker/case manager I make sure to look like I feel on those "bad days", never like I feel on the "good days" -especially if it's happening on a good day. ;) I don't know how much it helps; but surely looking like you need help counts for something and can't hurt. LOL
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1080 on: January 09, 2010, 11:32:22 am »
anytime I have to see a social worker/case manager I make sure to look like I feel on those "bad days", never like I feel on the "good days" -especially if it's happening on a good day. ;) I don't know how much it helps; but surely looking like you need help counts for something and can't hurt. LOL

Tee Hee......Mikie......SHIT.... I look like that everyday, and almost everyday is a bad day for me  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1081 on: January 09, 2010, 11:53:09 am »
On New Years, I heard the BOobmboomboommBOom of fireworks from the show downtown. I could see them from my bedroom window. Then I went to sleep, myself, remembering the days when I would kill myself getting off work, racing hime, getting gussied up and hitting the bars and shows.

I did treat us to a pizza and root beer. I've lost 8lbs.

I am on an antibiotic that I never heard of. 'Amoxical, and I can only find a reference to it on the web in French, and when I select translate....it just flickers and goes on and on and on...so I closed the page...

After the first pill, the volume of the siren in my head lessened, and I was able to talk and chew without jaw pain. Still have no throbbing pain, and no pain as long as I don't make any quick weird movements, but the siren is still sounding.

I knew something was really wrong when I couldn't get througha doorway without ramming my shoulder into the door frame.

_____________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TUzaW0-K1k
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1082 on: January 09, 2010, 12:12:36 pm »
I hope you are on the mend Ron .

I applied for disability back in the day when people at the social security office were so scared of people with HIV all it took for me to get my benefits started was a phone call .

I had bronchitis the day I called and coughing and hacking while trying to set up an appointment to come in and meet with them . The nice gentleman on the other end of the  phone line assured me that he had all the information he needed in front of him to approve my application.
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Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1083 on: January 09, 2010, 09:57:07 pm »
Ron,

I'm so sorry to hear you were the hospital again ... you poor thing. 

I agree with everyone else ... look your worst for your interview!  ;)

Hugs!
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1084 on: February 06, 2010, 10:14:56 am »
where's the love?




I can now move my jaw without flinching. What used to be small inconveniences in my youth, are now major traumas. First a spider bite, and now: inner ear infection...of death. The ringing in my head has not diminished and I am absolutely miserable.

I went to the dentist to get a filling to replace my temporary that I had done back last April  :-\
It has become very sensitive and even touching it with my tongue hurts, so I am scheduled for a crown, which they say will alleviate that problem. I don't know, I've never had a crown before...I've never had a temporary filling either, and I wish I still had it...at least it didn't hurt.

I've lost 15lbs. I think I might want it back as the more weight I lose, the more my feet hurt...go figure.

I'm scheduled to see a psychiatrist on March 1. a day that seems to ring in infamy...my birthday, my 17th anniversary for HIV diagnosis, and now....the day I go fly over the cuckoos nest.

I finally got the Christmas tree down: it only took me about 4 weeks as I cleaned everything before packing it away, and then I polished all my brass...did you know that sour milk removes tarnish?

I've emptied all the kitchen cabinets and cleaned the shelves and rewashed all the dishes.

I've slept: a lot. I don't know if I'm depressed or feeling nostalgic. I've been helping Robert. The boys great Aunt Mary died on the 1st and they are her only heirs. A large old house on six acres: plus another house that she would let hired help live in. I am so tired of people dying.

We did not even know that she had died until a sheriff called Katie: they found her number in the house looking for the will. The boys were her only heirs. I guess going through her 80 years of life's collections is what triggered my own spring cleaning.

Just waiting on probate court before we can start selling things.

I even get to file with the IRS this year after 2 years of no filing.

I hope this doesn't bite my butt with my food stamps. :-\






"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1085 on: February 06, 2010, 10:55:40 am »
Hi Ron
Thanks so much for the update on your health.  Inner ear problems are the worst!  I have ringing in my ears too  ...yesterday someone was asking me "how are you fixed for tokens (transit tokens) " and I thought he was saying "topiaries". lol
Anyhow, glad you are doing better.  Caps are good.....as long as the cap works ok , the tooth is still alive.  The worst thing is to loose teeth.  Then its bridges, false teeth or implants.  Much more expensive.

Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1086 on: February 11, 2010, 04:25:41 am »
Ron,

It seems like you (hell most of us) bounce from crisis to crisis but congrats on the 15lbs.  I'm sorry to hear your feet are the worse for it though.  I know I've finally got my gabapentin up'd to 600mg/3x a day (although I combine the afternoon & night and take them both at bed time).

Good luck!
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1087 on: March 12, 2010, 08:11:57 pm »
Ronnie?  Please update us, on just what you've been doing, I haven't heard a pep outta you in a while, I hope everything is ok with you, I'm kinda worried here  :-\
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1088 on: April 12, 2010, 03:49:57 pm »
Has anyone heard from Ron -- I just sent him an email (using what is listed in his profile) but I don't know if thats even a current email address.

AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1089 on: April 12, 2010, 03:56:59 pm »
I talked to him last month at some point and he was hanging in there but seemed to be a little down . He is such a sweet guy but cant seem to catch a break from the health problems that keep popping up for him . If I hear from him again I will let you all know . Jeff .
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Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #1090 on: April 13, 2010, 09:24:18 am »
Thanks Jeff -- 

If you do hear from him just let him know his forum family is thinking about him.

AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

 


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