IDK What To Do with Poz Crush

[Kaylajames203]

Hello,

I am a 30 y/o male "seeing" an "undetectable" man. I am negative and on prep.

We originally met off of grindr. We had a first date 2 years ago, no sex was involved. And he recently contacted me, out of the blue, via instagram. He told me to come over. We had amazing sex!

And after the sex, I asked him his status. He informed me he is undetectable. I could tell he was preparing for my rejection, but in the end I hopped back in the sac with him.

He stated he wants to see me again. I want to see him again, but it is a lot to handle.

I think he ghosted me 2 years ago because I asked him his status (but I can understand why).

So now I'm in the position of not having anyone to speak to about this.

My issues are: (1) How can I trust that he's taking his medications? (2) Statistically what's the percentage of the HIV population who remains compliant in medication regime? (3) Why is there a push to forgo sero-sorting and the start of U=U?

[Jim Allen]

My issues are: (1) How can I trust that he's taking his medications? (2) Statistically what's the percentage of the HIV population who remains compliant in medication regime? (3) Why is there a push to forgo sero-sorting and the start of U=U?

1)
Pains me to say this, but nobody can guarantee they are undetectable and adherent to their meds, and neither can you. So treat this person the same as you should everyone else. Trust & claims don't prevent HIV, so protect yourself - Condoms & keep taking PrEP. 

If it becomes a relationship one day, I suppose it's a question of trust, just like every other relationship. My partner trusts me to take my meds etc.

2) https://journals.lww.com/aidsonline/Abstract/9000/Time_spent_with_viral_load_200_copies_mL_in_a.96502.aspx

The result could have been anything, not that it matters if you ask me. There are many reasons for virological failure within such a diverse community. Some of those reasons simply don't apply to me, sure the same goes for your partner.

3)
Haven't seen any push for or against serosorting over the past 20+ years. Not saying this might not have happened at some stage, perhaps before I was sexually active or not in my region.

TaSP (Treatment as prevention) has been a fact for many years. There is over 22 years worth of data backing it up, the Swiss statement that HIV can't be passed on sexually with a suppressed viral load was 13 years ago, back in 2008. The U=U campaign is just the most recent version/message. It brings peace of mind to people living with HIV and their partners.

I'm glad this current campaign is finally getting attention and educating people. I would not call it a push though either for or against serosorting, it is clear though that serosorting is not the only option in life for people living with HIV.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms, and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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[Kaylajames203]

Hi!

I have been using daily prep and I am negative as of March 2022. I am a cis male.

Yesterday, a one-time-hookup notified me he tested + in May for HIV and is now undetectable.

We had intercourse in April, me being the penetrative partner. I'm assuming he had a high viral load.

I am concerned and wanted to know if I am covered because I was and continue to be on prep or should I have serious concerns about my own HIV?

. . . The older I get, the more and more I realize that "on prep or undetectable" is a much better scenario than negative statuses, no prep; coupled with risky behavior.

Thank you!

[Jim Allen]

Presuming the concern is because it was condomless intercourse?

As part of a good PrEP routine, you should be testing more frequently for HIV & STIs. Ideally every three months.

The PrEP would have provided you with a layer of protection against HIV and I see no reason to stress or test outside the standard three monthly HIV screening.

[Kaylajames203]

Thank you!

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome