Please help me

[tooworried83]

Hi,
I have been around this forum for the past week and it is the only thing online that has kept me a little sane.
Maybe my story is just lame but I really want to feel better as I can't stop thinking about it, as an HIV diagnosis would be a death sentence where I love.

I have only had 3 serious relationships in my life with three men (I am female).
Very few other instances were oral sex which now I understand are no risk at all.

My first relationship was for a year we had unprotected anal and vaginal sex (back in 2007) which I regret a lot right now of course. The guy I've been with (we've been exclusive) has since travelled to work in three countries that require HIV testing prior to giving a work permit and he's been fine, because he has worked for a year in each of those countries (legally) so I assume he was negative.

My other relationship (we still communicate from time to time) was in 2008. We had the same unprotected sex, but I gave him a call and he assured me he's been giving blood and that I was his first (I thought so then too) and we were exclusive all the time together. So am also assuming he's negative.

The 3rd guy (we plan to marry and we will get tested together as a requirement), we only had vaginal sex (no ejaculation inside). He had been tested a little less than a year prior to meeting me and he was negative (tested as a routine) and he promises he had never been with anyone during that period (between test and meeting me). So I guess I should not worry.

But I learned my lesson.

I would also like to note that the HIV prevalence in my country is at 0.1%.
I never had any symptoms (which I understand are not an issue), except for sore throat and mouth infection when I was with the first guy (for 10 days but could've been normal sickness or antibiotics reaction).

I really need to feel better and to know my results will be negative. Please help me. 

[Ann]

Worried,

You simply cannot know your own hiv status going by someone else's test results. The ONLY way to know your hiv status is by getting tested yourself.

You have been putting yourself at risk when you assume the person you're with is hiv negative. You do need to test. Chances are good that you'll test negative, but you do have to test to know for certain.

I would recommend that you also test for all the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs while you're at it. Some of them can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the ONLY way to know for sure is to test.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[tooworried83]

Than you Ann.
Just one thing, I was a virgin before the first guy and if both him and the second are negative. Then there's no way I could be positive right? Please answer this?

And also can you get HIV if there's no ejaculation in vagina.

And 3rd last question I haven't had sex in months, if I have another std the asymptomatic period will be over right?

I will test negative of all 3 are negative?

[Andy Velez]

While I do appreciate that you're anxious and want a firm answer, like Ann I don't like to use someone else's reports of negative test results as the basis for affirming negative status.

I'll just say that given all the variables you have mentioned I do expect you to test negative.

Good luck with your test result. I expect happy news from you.

 

[tooworried83]

Thx. I am praying for a negative.
And am sure all 3 guys Ive been with are negative today. So I kind of must be negative.
Am so scared its the end for me here in my country if am positive.

Am negative. I really am, well I hope. Especially prevalence here is very low at 0.1% right?
But I'll never do unprotected again.

Thx

[Ann]

Worried,

Just go test. It's the only way to know for sure.

Ann