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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: ndrew on December 16, 2006, 01:08:04 am

Title: UGH!!!
Post by: ndrew on December 16, 2006, 01:08:04 am: Hello,

I just gave a final exam and I am STILL trying to relax and unwind. The minority (thank your higher power they are in the minority) of students who are rude, disrespectful and even abusive AMAZES me. I guess I just need to develop a thicker skin. I was NEVER like this as a student. I always took responsibility for my failures and screw-ups (however I was a pretty good student). I hear talk of young people feeling they are ENTITLED to this and that... whatever.

I hate to say it, but sometimes it seems there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who take responsibility for themselves and their lives and those WHO WANT TO BLAME EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

I just want them to be active and responsible in their lives.

I get to spend the rest of the weekend grading YIPPEEEE!!!

Thanks for lettin' a dude vent to his poz brothers and sisters!

:)
Bests,
Drew
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Longislander on December 16, 2006, 01:12:02 am: I feel the same way about my nephews and stuff. I can't believe how lazy they are. They do expect alot. Rant away you hetero/homo!
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Eldon on December 16, 2006, 01:59:35 am: Yes, Drew...

Generally, the ones who tend to blame everyone else instead of being responsible for their own actions tend to fall into the category of hiding from themselves. They are actually afraid to deal with their inner anxieties as it stems from their low self-esteem. It is like they have put up a barrier in hopes of ignoring the real issues that lie dormant within them.

A GOOD suggestion would be to ask to ASk them "How do you fell about XYZ?" It puts the ball in their court and they will then have to look within themselves to give an answer to the question.

"Don't Give Up, Don't Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Queen Tokelove on December 16, 2006, 02:31:57 am: Yes, it is sad with the younger generation, I will not say all but the majority of them expect things handed to them instead of earning it. It seems they idolize people for the wrong reasons. Most are disrespectful of their elders as well even to the point of getting into physical altercations. Sometimes I think the world is going to hell with gasoline underwear on, sometimes I wonder do I even want to be here to see what the world ends up like... :-\
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Longislander on December 16, 2006, 02:33:59 am: yes, my dear, you do want to be here. And oh my god, that;'s the 2nd time tonite you knocked me off my chair!!! lmao at that gasoline underwear!
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: poet on December 16, 2006, 06:23:50 am: Drew, we have someone for you to work with here on the Cape. He has worked at a residence in mental health for over a year. I had assumed that he must have passed his med. cert. and was handing the medications around. When he showed up for class, I assumed that his lateness reflected the fact that he was already certified and doing this, so didn't need to show up (in his eyes). Of course the truth came out. In a year, he has never been able to get through the course and exam. This Fall, in our class, he got all of 50% of the pre-test questions correct, 15 out of 30, so the administrators can't yet schedule him for the actual Red Cross run exams. I have offered, through a staff member he likes as well as directly, to work with him whenever it would work for him that I do so. Of course he has never taken me up on this. Nor does he seem to register that with his results, he is being kept on because an organisation which seeks to empower the mentally challenged 'should' also empower mentally challenged staff members, or so the reasoning seems to be. Did I hear that you are offering private tutoring over the holidays? :) Win
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: DanielMark on December 16, 2006, 06:51:24 am: I hate to say it, but sometimes it seems there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who take responsibility for themselves and their lives and those WHO WANT TO BLAME EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

I just want them to be active and responsible in their lives.

I wouldn't take on your job for all the treasure in the world Drew, so kudos to you for sticking with it. Your heart is obviously in the right place for that kind of job. Me, I wouldn’t have the patience.

My ex of ten years used to come home from his college teaching job with stories along the same lines – students expecting to pass courses just for showing up for class, is one end of the extreme. And these were college students. Unbelievable.

Daniel
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: allopathicholistic on December 16, 2006, 08:02:26 am: hang in there - those who don't kill you make you tougher - and thank goodness "you're who you are" and "they're who they are"
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: red_Dragon888 on December 16, 2006, 08:20:53 am: Just take a nice hot bath and let the stress drain away. You earned it.
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Tucsonwoody on December 16, 2006, 11:22:36 am: My brother - sister in law and niece are all in education. I think it must be one of the toughest jobs to have and admire and thank everyone who trys so hard to provide a good education to the willing and sometimes the unwilling.

Like Longislander, I am amazed though at how my niece and nephew, even though they work hard at her job and his college, expect so much from their parents...and get it and complained about having to do minor chores etc. I just keep my big mouth shut...most of the time, when I am with them - but it is something I never would have gotten away with - damn it!

Okay, enough from one of the olde phartes!

Hope that after you grade the tests - you have a long winter break and recharge for next semester.

Kevin
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Blixer on December 16, 2006, 01:30:52 pm: Drew,

I can totally identify with you on this! I do think the minority are rude, but I think there is a pervasive mood that the students are entitled to a good grade, even an A no matter what. I even had an complaint sent to the director of adult studies from a Master's group I taught saying that my "expectations" were too high. The director responded by saying that I simply followed the syllabus and that if the student wasn't cut out for graduate work then maybe they should consider some other direction. I apprecited the support of the director. Most are not that vocal, but many feel that if you expect them to actually do something then you aren't being fair.

Since I also work in K-12 education I find the same type of thing particularly in High School students. They seem to feel if they show up, then that has completed their responsibilty and they should get a good grade without any effort. I think part of that is even supported by parental actions where parents have had a tendency to "fix" things for their children or to make sure their children always had everything they wanted without putting forth any effort.

Hopefully the weekend will provide a time to relax and refuel for you! Best of luck!
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: ndrew on December 16, 2006, 03:18:48 pm: Hello everyone,

Thanks for your stories and encouragement. I have temporarily crawled out of my pile of grading... I sent a SCATHING email to a student last night who was horribly rude (and inaccurately assumed everyone in the course was doing as poorly as him.) I got an email apology this morning. I will not be mean or unfair, but from now on I will have zero tolerance for rudeness and disrespect. (It is sad that I had to tell a JUNIOR at my university to stay after class and threaten him with filing misconduct because of his behavior in my lecture.) I will not try to destroy them or seek revenge, but I certainly will rip into them from now on... it is sad that you have to do this to earn respect...

Drew
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: Boo Radley on December 16, 2006, 04:38:06 pm: Ah, yes, the age-old realization of elders that the younger generation is going to hell in a handbasket. Having worked in the library of a local Catholic university for 20 years I experienced my fair share of lazy brats who believed payment of tuition (by Mummy and Daddy, of course) was the sole requisite for passing grades.

Since I didn't teach (thank god) my primary contact with many was in the "work-study" program, where a vast majority thought the emphasis should be on "study" while they were putting in hours. We didn't allow students to study in the circulation department because they were either shelving books or working at the public service desk, so turnover was pretty high. In their defense I must say there were always 2 or 3 really diligent students who served as complementary staff and usually stayed with us for all 4 years of their studies.

Then there were students as customers... As the sole service point staffed every hour the library was open we were expected to provide reference assistance (which was OK but staff could not leave the desk unattended so it was usually hard to lead a student by the hand to the right part of the library) as well as paper, pens, hole punches, staples, paper clips, liquid paper (in all shades), magic markers, calculators, and anything else needed when the bookstore was closed. I cannot count the number of times I had to explain it was physically and financially impossible for the library to collect every text book ever used in classes but many students thought we were pretty damned useless when they discovered this fact.

And then there were students like the one who wanted to know where she could find a copy of the book Roots by Aldous Huxley.

Boo
Title: Re: UGH!!!
Post by: aupointillimite on December 16, 2006, 04:45:12 pm: Quote from: ndrew on December 16, 2006, 01:08:04 am
I hear talk of young people feeling they are ENTITLED to this and that... whatever.

In my job, I get to manage a lot of college students at an answering service/doctor's exchange. They try that crap on me, and it's so great to say, "You get paid. If you don't like it here, Wendy's is hiring, but I really doubt they'll pay you as much with benefits."

It's so very satisfying.