POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Positive Women => Topic started by: BT65 on May 27, 2008, 07:35:31 am
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Morning ladies,
Yeah, I officially started this new thread. Last night I was up 1/2 the night with a heating pad on my left upper leg/knee. I'm not sure what's going on with my upper leg bone, but it hurts as well. My knee feels like there's nothing there, but at the same time has sheering pain. My right knee hurts and grinds (you can actually hear it) when I move it, but it's nothing compared to the left one. So, I e-mailed my doctor this morning about it and told him I need a referral to an orthopaedist who's willing to work with HIV+ people. I do have a $1200 brace the other bone doctor prescribed, which I will be wearing again (it's for the left knee). Maybe that will give the knee some support when I'm walking. I'm too young to be in a wheelchair. I ended up in a wheelchair when I went through the wasting, and it's hard to maneuver around in one. Of course, I did get the best parking etc. And if I ever had to be in another one, it would definitely be one of those nice reclining electric ones. ;)
Today I'm going back to the ASO to do my volunteer work. That gets me out of the house, and out of myself. I find that when I'm feeling bad about something, if I can help someone else (or try to), it makes me feel better. Sometimes I wish I would have taken classes this summer, but then again I guess I needed a break.
When I was at the NA convention this weekend, I met a girl who told me she was clinically dead, and that's why she has a hard time remembering things. I told her "bah;" I've been clinically dead twice and while I have to go over things more than I used to, it's possible to still have a memory. She only had 90 days clean, and I told her that's most likely why she can't remember things well. I told her to give herself time, and the memory part of her brain would come back. I know when I was first getting clean (both the 1st time and this last time), it took awhile for my brain to fully function again. I really did have a wonderful time at the convetion, so the pain I'm having is worth the good time I had. Of course, that ride I took on that beautiful Harley only added to the goodness of the weekend. There were a couple ladies there who had beautiful Harleys also. And big ones, not just the little Sporster version.
Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good morning. Queen, if you're lurking, I'm thinking about you. I'll be back later.
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Good morning ladies! Back from a beautiful weathered Memorial Day weekend. The beauty left us last night when the steady rain rolled in, but with temps up to the mid-70's, I really can't complain too much.
Our oldest son (he'll be 11 next month - YIKES!) woke up Saturday with his entire face swollen with an itchy, red, scaley rash on it and his neck. He was wondering in the tall grass near a creek at the park on Friday night and must have gotten into something. It's not poison ivy, oak, or semac. He got this last year during football season. They practice in a feild near a creek and he and some friends went down to pee. We're thinking he may be allergic to whatever is sprayed in the creeks to kill mosquito larvae. He woke up Sunday with both eyelids so swollen that his eyes were shut. We kept him doped on Benedryl and used Benedryl cream to keep down the itch. Yesterday his eyes looked better, but he was more itchy. The Benedryl was making him tired, but he wouldn't take a nap, so he was quite cranky and snippy. He laid down, finally, at 1 and slept until after 3. He woke up a much nicer person. So far, he's still asleep which is unusual for him. He's our crazy early bird - up before 6am.
Queen: I'm sorry for what you are going through, but I certainly understand your need for a break. Just know that you will not be forgotten and we'll all still be here for you when you come back.
Betty: Glad you had a good time at your convention. Also sorry about your knees, sounds like you over did it and they're complaining. I sure hope you can find some relief and a good ortho doc who can help. Have a great day today at the ASO. I think your volunteering is an awesome thing to do.
Snow: Sorry about that! I thought I'd read somewhere that you were working (outside the home). My brain must be on slow mode. Hope the kiddies are feeling better.
That's about all going on here. I finished our table cloth yesterday and last night we ate dinner for the first time around the same table. Before, poor #5 and #6 had to eat in highchairs pulled up to the table. Next project, kitchen cabinets and making the new shower curtain.
Love to you all!
Mum
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Good Morning All!
Betty-I'm glad you had a good time. Take care of your knee...it sounds like it really hurts!
Mum- That rash has got to be uncomfortable for him. I hate itching! Are you making a shower curtain out of fabric? I have one that you can wash. It is the kind they use in hotels. They last longer than the plastic ones
Queen- Hang in there! Is there anyone you can just talk to? Are you still seeing your therapist?
Not much here. I spent the weekend trying to get motivated to grade and do my lesson plans. I want another day off! Talk to you all later! :)
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hie ladies
queen - im glad u decided not to leave, whoever that person is they dont deserve a second thought. some people dont have anything better to do than go around spreading negative energy
mum - how u feeling now?
cindy - is that you on the advert thingy for pozpersonals on the blog page? theres someone who looks like you on it. Cheech does look younger with his new cut. My condolences about Clyde, may he rest in peace..
viv - dont u wish u could forge a doctors note and get another day off ;)
Snow - it gets cold here like 9 degrees or something. i guess im so usedt o the heat that the slightest drop feels like its about to snow or somthing. i hope your babies get well soon.
Netta - your pics are great. u look a bit like my boss's anaesthetist, she's also got dreadlocks
Betty - i hope you get treatment for your knee. im glad u had a good weekend
my weekend was okay. my sister came over with her son. he no longer looks like an alien, he's getting quite handsome with his big head and huge eyes. he's walking like a penguin now. shyguy wanted us to hook up on saturday but i didnt go. he sent me a message just now, more like a booty call. i mean whats it mean when someone texts u "i'll pay u back in kind, want some?". of course i want some. here we go again with the disclosure monster...ugh
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Well, my doctor told me to go back to the bone doctor I've seen in the past. He said if the bone doctor has trouble (a blockage in his brain I say) in treating me, he (my doctor) would talk to him. So, I've got an appointment for this Thursday. I've got the brace on the left knee and it seems to give it some support. I've also got an appointment next week for a mammogram. Last year when I had one, I had to have a needle biopsy done on a lump I had in my right boob. It was benign, but I never went back for a follow-up mammo. So, that takes care of those two things.
Mum, I hope your son's condition clears up soon. How are you feeling?
Viv, I wish you had another day off also. Doncha love holidays?
Tendai, so you're going to see Shyguy? Like on a date?
I'm getting ready to eat lunch and go to the ASO. I'll be back later this evening. Love you all.
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Vyv: yep, I'm making the shower curtain from fabric. I'm quilting it. I've got everything cut out, I just need to find time to sew it together and quilt it. We have a fabric curtain now, with a seperate plastic liner behind it. I'll keep the plastic liner behind this one, too. The table cloth I made is also quilted. I had a bunch of material that someone gave me, so, except for my time, both are free.
Ten and Betty: I'm feeling better. It was a wee bit worse last night and this morning. It's been wet and rainy, so there must be a connection. I haven't had a breathing treatment for 2 days. Energy level sucks, but when I exercise, it gets hard to breathe. I'm not good at taking it easy. I leave for my annual kidless vacation in 12 days and this MUST be gone by then. I'm still on Bioxin until Thursday.
Our oldest is doing better. His eyes aren't swollen shut and we can see his eyelids now. Under his eyes is still a bit puffy, but better. His face, however, is still really swollen, especially around his jaw line. I'm putting coco butter on his face because the skin is so rough and scaley. I hope it smooths back out. He's not a good sick person. He's also OCD and GAD (general anxiety disorder), which just makes things that much worse..for all of us.
The thundering horde is waking up. My rest time is over. Quick moochies to all of you!
Mum
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Its a rainy day here today. Its nice. I like it. Beats the hell out of 95 + degree weather. I do have a rather large broken limb in the tree out front. Its stuck inside the tree but I'm not worried about it, not my job. LOL
(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/may2708002.jpg)
I learned a long time ago when you divulge alot of personal information about yourself online the people that are reading about you get to feel as if they know you. They remember all the crap you've done, forgotten and gotten over, Your secrets, thoughts and desires, ect...
They get comfortable enough in knowing you that they feel its necessary or possibly their right or duty to inform you of their opinions about your life or situations that you are dealing with.That's the danger in blogging about your life.
Its a nice release to write down all your intimate issues and personal struggles. But unless you can control who is reading what you write you will be dealing with unpleasant people or people you'd rather leave you alone.
I'm sorry your having trouble with some of your readers not getting you Queen. I can sympathise.
Mum sorry about your big guys eyes. Poor thing.
Sorry about your knees Betty. I agree with you about the brain thing.
Tendai I know everyone is different but those booty call guys make me feel disrespected. Makes me feel like a piece of meat.
I'll pay u back in kind, want some?"
Where's the romance in that?
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hi ladies,
Betty I am so sorry to hear you are in what sounds like excruciating pain. You are admirable going about your business despite that, but please watch out not to make it worst. The retreat sounds amazing, I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that room you slept it. It's nice to meet strong women online but I do miss/need some real life inspiration.
no time for pain, I like that... there's a lot of things I don't have time for... I have uttermost respect for you Queen for putting up with that crap, I guess that comes with the terittory, and I know I would be deleting anyone who bugged me obssesively like that. I decided not to honor that dude with a response, I don't need to flaunt my achievements the way he does, that would be pretty pathetic, I think... anyway, it's not about him, at all.
Mom I hope your boy will be better and also yourself.
Tendai I second Wini, I don't like the turn shyguy's taken, not so shy after all. I thought he was supposed to be your friend. But hey you're a big girl, just looking out for ya though... I am so glad about your nephew, that is amazing news (knock on wood).
Netta you look great in the pics, I can't beleive how young you look, and glowing.
Viv when is your well earned vacation starting already.
Veritee, I know this belong in another thread but I hope you find more people in Cornwall and I would love to visit there one day. I do go to the UK once in a while.
Snow, how are the kids? hopefully better. You must have your hands full. I don't know how I will make the transition from slacker to mother, what a challenge...
Keeping, how's married life? And Wishful, Cindy, Camms, Cristy, Pink, and many more ladies I am sure I am missing now b/c I am starving and it's already 21.30 here - how are you doing?
xoxo
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Good Afternoon Ladies,
Just dropping in. I posted earlier but somehow it got lost. O well. I have had a wonderful 3 day vacation. I didn't know how to act. My hubby took me out to eat Friday and out to eat and shopping on Saturday. Sunday we cleaned the carpet in the house and Yesterday we spent time with family. We BBQ'ed and played games with the children. Now back at work with a damn headache. But I did get some much needed rest this past weekend. Nothing exciting going on for me this week
Betty- Sorry to hear about your knee. I know that must hurt. I have fluid on mines and I woke up one morning and I couldn't walk. But getting up off the floor sometimes can be a pain
Queen- Take all the time you need for yourself but please don't leave us for good. You were one of the first women to bring me back this way when I was first diagnosed.
Drag- I am O So Loving the married life. We seem to be getting along better since we are married than when we were just "courting" ;)
Snow- Sorry to hear about your babies also. I know it must get hetic having all of them sick. I hope you don't get it. I'm the kind of person that picks up every virus these children have at this center.
Shouts out to all my other Girlfriends. Wish, CJC, netta, Ten, Viv, and whom every I may have forgotten. Love you all.
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Betty- Nice thread title! :) I had a mammogram today, I started giggling because it wasn't what I expected at all. Who knew your boob could get squished like that? I hope everything goes well with yours.
Queen- Sorry people have been giving you so much crap, that is the last thing you need right now. I am glad you are only taking a break and not leaving us all together, that would make us all sad :(
Drag- The kiddos are all feeling better and went back to school today. You will be amazed at what you can do when you become a mother, somethings that matter to you now, will not even become a thought and things you would never think of in a million years now, suddenly become a daily occurance.
Keeping- Sounds like you had a fun weekend! I glad you are enjoying married life.
Ten- I never realized it got that cold there. I hate it when it is really cold like that, I like the 60-70- low 80's, hate being too hot too :) Forget about shyguy, you can find someone else that deserves your attention.
Viv- Got anything planned for summer vacation? did you end up getting the A/C?
Wish- Where are you?
Mum- I am glad to hear the swelling went down, it sucks when we are sick but it sucks even more when are kids are sick. I hate that feeling of not being able to make them feel 100% better. Where are you guys going for your vacation?
It is really humid here today, it poured earlier. I have a feeling this summer is going to suck. I put 20 bucks in my tank yesterday and had to fill up again today because I didn't realize the boys couldn't wear opened toed sandles to school, so I had to go right back with thier sneakers :-\ Then I went for my mammogram, got a grill from Home Depot and took my elderly friend to the library and then picked up the kids from school. Oh, the exciting life I lead....NOT!
Hope everyone has a great night!!!!
Snow
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Dear All
It is earlyish morning here - 7.21 am no one is up so I am popping in................ as I have a bit of time for a change ;D
I thought I would include some pics in this post so I can share with you a bit of my life and how I live - I hope that's OK?
Queen - I wrote something at the end of the last thread about your difficulties with people online - I hope you read it, I really do feel for your situation and believe I have been there too with a group of people on the net and it is horrible. But you make friends too on the net and they can help you counter act what is happening
Snow - yes the mammogram, god yes it is awful isn't it? - because I am over 50 and over 50s have regular mammograms in the UK as routine tests, I have now had three................... and it is a real shock that they squash your breast so hard like that, I found it actually pretty painful and wondered if such a procedure would not cause breast problems. I know it will not, but it hurt so much it felt like it must do some damage?
Betty - I am sorry about your knee pain - what is causing it? Do you know? If it is bone pain that is the worse. I am a bit disabled due to an accident and have had many operations on my left leg and been in a lot of pain due to it - my ankle is now fused but it still hurts now and then and I spent a year in a wheelchair due to it at one point as I had to wear a horrible fixator (http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/EPSN0031.jpg) and I also have damaged arthritic knees that are very painful and have had an operation on both of them due to this .........
I ride an electrified three wheel bike to get out and about and walk my dogs due to my injuries (http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/disabledbike-1.jpg)
But at least I know what is causing it, which does help
So I hope you find out what is wrong soon - sorry I did not mean to go on about my leg problems - just meant to share that I can understand how painful it can be
Drag - I agree you will be amazed at what you can do when you become a mum. Your need to look after your child seems to over ride how you feel :) I did not have HIV when my daughter was younger - she is 18 now, but I have had other health and other problems and also a bad accident which left me with mobility difficulties and my husband was away at sea all the time so he could not help me look after her.
You are always very welcome to visit me Drag - I do live a very long way from where people usually arrive in the UK, but if you are ever over here you are very welcome - and yes I hope I find some other women nearby with HIV soon - nice women like you all I hope
minismom - I am glad you are feeling a bit better, do they know what it is yet that is causing your breathing problems ?
My husband had PCP pneumonia for a long time - several months - and we did not know what it was for many months as they did not suspect PCP as they did not know he had HIV - he got so very ill - and it sounded so much like what you describe with not being able to breath and not being able to exercise as then he could not breath at all etc - but I guess your doctors know that you have HIV so I guess they have considered PCP already????? have they????
I do not know where you get the time to do that quilting with your children to look after? I used to quilt but it was one of the many things I stopped doing when my baby was born and have never done it again - and I only ever had one birth child and 2 foster children and I did not have HIV then - you sound like supermum compaired to me .
Me We had a bank holiday weekend just gone but the weather was just so awful. it rained and rained and it is still raining now.
But when it is sunny the place I live is great - here are a few local scenes i.e the beach the picturesque mine stacks, my dog on a wall outside my house etc
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Apollo-1.jpg)
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/winsurf-1.jpg)
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/GunwallowWinCE.jpg)
You may not be interested but here is a pic of my lovely daughter when she was very young:
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Veritees/vcajmess-1.jpg)
and one when she was about 12: (http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Veritees/0X080011.jpg)
She is to me very beautiful - then and now - and I would love to show you a picture of her now but she would not want to be identified as she is now.
As.......................
She is not happy with me at all currently - it is like I am to blame for everything ???- including the HIV - yet I have never had any risky sex or any sex at all other than very occasionally with my husband - her father - or any other risky stuff, at all for several years before she was born, and not ever since she was born .......I so. so wanted to be a great mum and really did change my life around to be a good mum ..............and I was a great mum .................yet I still have acquired HIV and she still blames me!!!!!!!
My husband who brought HIV to us - she loves unconditionally - me she really dislikes right now, yet I so love her so muchand just want to be loved by her - my tradegy I suppose as I doubt it will ever change now
- I do not think really there is any justice sometimes !!! But then we all love Barry as he is a lovely person, so I understand why she loves him so much - maybe I am just not so lovable???
Anyway another one of her a few years ago at 12: (http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Veritees/0X080012-1.jpg)
it was before 8am when I started this post - then I had to go and sort out my family for the day - then it took me so long to find the pics on my hard disk
So it is now 11.18 in the UK, got to get on with my life now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love to all
Veritee XXX
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Morning ladies,
First, I heard from our Queen via e-mail. She's doing alright, but the wounds she feels from the boards are still fresh. Her oldest son has gotten ahold of her and found a lawyer for $2500 that he says will take his case. Her ASO won't help out with the ride to the liver specialist; they say they won't because it's not HIV related. It, to me, sounds like her case manager just doesn't want to do her job. She misses us and wishes us ladies well.
Mum, I'm glad your oldest is doing better. When my daughter was little, we went to a cottage once by a lake. She ended up with over 50 misquito bites on her and had to go on tapered doses of Cortisone. They all got bigger than 50 cent pieces.
Wendy, it looks like you live in a lovely neighborhood. I agree about putting your life out on the computer; I guess you risk all kinds of people responding. Myself, I don't care what people think. I truly don't. But there are times when I keep my opinion to myself about someone else.
Drag, yes, there's nothing like having strong women in one's life. I need those women, believe me.
Keeping, it sounds like you had a wonderful weekend. I'm so glad you're enjoying married life. Good for you!
Snow, it was humid here Sunday and Monday-very humid. Now, it's cooled back down into the 50's. I think this time last year we were already in the upper 80's.
Veritee, just to clear up-Mum is not HIV+. She has a daughter who is (Mini). I know, it's hard to keep up sometimes. My pain is caused from different things-one being avascular necrosis, which is basically the dying out of the bone. I fractured both kneecaps years ago when I was pushed down a flight of stairs by a guy I used to be in a relationship with (among other damage). My right knee grinds all the time when I move it and has fluid on it-oh, and the cartilage is collapsing. The left knee, which is the one that really hurts, has no more cartilage in it. That's what the bone doctor told me about a year ago. I'm sorry you're still having trouble with your daughter. You're right, she is a beautiful girl. Has she ever had counseling? I'm wondering how much of it is anger because of you having a potentially fatal disease. She really needs to come to grips with her anger, though. You don't need that, and she needs to know that in no uncertain terms.
When I've had mammograms before, they never really did hurt. When they did the needle biopsy last year, the doctor accidentally knicked a blood vessel, and they couldn't get the site to quit bleeding. So, he had to put in a tiny metal clip, which is still in there. I wonder if I'd set off any alarms (just kidding). I know I wouldn't-hell, my upper jaw has a titanium plate in it and that's never set any off. Mammograms don't bother me though. I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Nothing exciting happened yesterday at the ASO. Just the usual. People wanting case management, clients coming in with different complaints and just wanting to talk, people coming in wanting an HIV test (they do them right there) etc. Today will probably be much of the same. This weekend I'll be a bit busy. NA here is having a speak-a-thon (where there are a few different speakers sharing on different things) and I committed to helping cook for the dinner that happens beforehand. Sunday I have a meeting with my NA sisterhood about our upcoming speak-a-thon. Just different activities going on. Which is good I suppose; it keeps me out of trouble. I hope you ladies have a good day. Take care of yourselves.
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Hie ladies
Veritee - its beautiful where u live and your daughter is so pretty, i'm sure shes a beautiful woman now. Hopefully she'll change her attitude towards you soon
Snow - u and me both, give me heat anyday. especially in the mornings! the water will be so cold and you cant heat any coz there wont be electricity. its shortcuts almost everyday when i bath, im going to rot off! :) The nights are just as bad or worse, especially when u all alone in bed. These days I got my sister and her son, who wakes up in the middle of the night playing and climbing on people's heads :D.
Hie Keeping - sounds like lifes good for you guys, im glad for you.
mum - im glad u and your son are getting better, heres hoping u'll continue to improve
Shyguy isnt shy after all. Hmm. Typical male. I almost thought he was a virgin, but i dont think so anymore. Of course i wont take him up on his offer to get "some", really dont need that kind of stress right now. We'll just be friends, nothing more. Betty - i dont think we'll ever get to the point where we'll go on a real date. the way he's going i think he just wants to get invited to my place and get 'some'. Not going to happen... I'm with Win and Drag, where's the romance in that? I mean yes i might want to jump his bones or have him jump my bones but i would want it to happen the romantic way. I dont think that word still exists in the vocabulary of the men around here.. ::)
Silly weather we're having, hot one minute cold the next, wish it would just make up its mind.
Things are getting ridiculously expensive now its unreal. $2billion for a 2kg packet of rice, 3bn for 10kg of mealie meal. the buses $200million a ride. there is no way we're going to make it to 27 June to vote in peace, somthings got to give. even those who thought they had deep pockets are complaining, its just too much now. I just dont know, i feel like going out there and spending all the money i have coz its pointless keeping money as it just loses value by the hour. And u cant even get your money from the bank again, motionless queues at the banks.
Knowing my fellow citizens we're just going to shut up and take it and take it and take it. I dont know why people are so afraid to take back their national pride and dignity or whatever. it makes me so mad that we are so hardworking and all then we go and work as slaves in other countries and get killed and harrassed in the process as if we're some kind of unwelcome parasites. All because of one crazy selfish senile geriatric who refuses to let the country recover all because he's afraid to be sent to jail when he's out of power. I hope things get so tough people will be forced to boycott or strike or whatever so long as they DO SOMETHING. We shouldnt have to live like this, where your salary wont last a week and prices go up by the day. >:(
I've just come from the VCT centre with a friend. Had to sneak off work and say im going to the bank. She wanted to get tested, which she did, turned out poz. she was expecting it though, she was always going on about its saying 'i know i have it but i wont get tested, i'll just take herbs'etc. anyway she says she's still in shock it hasnt sunk in yet. she'll be spending the night at my place coz apparently her husband chased her away when she asked him to go wtih her to get tested, coz he's quite sick but he wont go to the clinic or anything. anyway she's going to Botswana maybe Friday to work. Says she'll just focus on work and looking after her daughter. At least she's taken it well. I think. I'm exhausted.
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Thanks Betty for explaining
We seem to be in similar situations re our knees.
I know about vascular necrosis as this was one reason I had to have an ankle fusion in the end - they took out the 'bad' bone and pinned everything in my my ankle so it does not move anymore and made my ankle fuse to my leg bone so I no longer have an ankle joint at all - but also no longer have any dying bone as they removed this too as mine was in my ankle joint bones - I belong to an ankle fusion yahoo group where many have had this in their ankles - I know it is very painful where ever it is.
I hope your 'bone doctor can suggest something as while you can get on quite well without an ankle joint you have to have a knee joint. I have no carteledge in my knees also and have had keyhole operations on both to wash out the joint - to remove the shards of broken off bone that come away when you have no cartilage and your joint is like this, that cause such terrible pain when you move it - and to repair/smooth the surfaces as much as is possible - but the the only thing suggested as a real solution for my knees is a knee replacement and I am not ready for this as yet so I keep refusing. As they only last a few years and I feel at 55 I am too young as yet - I so hope your doctor has other suggestions.
As for for my daughter - I think her feelings about me started when I had the horse riding accident - which caused most of my current leg problems - and was in a wheelchair in 2003 for a year or so and not from HIV which I only knew about in January this year.
She seemed to be an ordinary loving daughter up until then - she seemed to love me and I thought we got on well . I did spoil her and did a lot for her but then I did not have her until I was nearly 40 and was told I could not have birth children , so she was /is just so precious
But when I was so suddenly airlifted to hospital after the accident and then laid up and unable to walk for so long in hospital and then at home her attitude just changed overnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess I have to guess she felt I was not being a mother anymore - as I was so unwell I could not even crawl to the loo and my husband was at sea so she had to fend for herself for several months -
and I have to guess she was angry about this and has never really got over it or forgiven me
As for counseling I suggested this a couple of years back - after the accident - when she began to seem to have real issues about me - in fact also because of her similar attitude towards some teachers at school the school suggested it too and the school offered her counselling and they also tried to get her to take it up .
But she has always refused, saying that she has no problem, that I - and those teachers were/are the problem, that it is not her concern as we are the problem - so will not even consider it
I have to feel lucky that apart from the way she regards me she is actually great in her behaviour in general.
She is considered by many on the outside who do not know/or see how she feels about me or how she treats me, to be a 'model young person' in all other aspects of her life i.e hard working as she had two jobs and works hard at her jobs and her employers respect her very much, and works hard at her studies, she finishes a NVQ4 this year and is starting a degree course soon in September, has no discernible relationship or sexual problems apart from with me ..........has never taken any substances , does not even smoke or drink and seems so 'together' other than her attitude towards me.
Maybe it is that she puts all her negativity into dislike of me and the occasionally other stronger authoritarian figures in her life and this means that she is not acting out in other ways - so maybe this has to be the way it is until she sorts herself out about this in years to come , or maybe she will never change how she feels. I do hope it changed some day as it truly breaks my heart every single day [/b]
But in the meantime I can not help mentioning it here now and then because it hurts me just so much when she treats me like this and yet is such a liked and respected young women by most who she meets but is so nasty to me she makes me so sad almost every time I even try to have a conversation with her.
it does hurt - but I have tried - and suggested counselling but that suggestion makes her even more angry with me, yet I have and still have counselling to try to cope with the situation, but my having counselling only helps me it does not change how she feels about me - and there does not seem to be anything I can do about it.
I think when I had the accident , although I could not help it - in her mind I let her down in a way she can not come to terms with or talk about and now the HIV is the last straw .....sorry if I off load about it so much as I feel just powerless to change it , I love her so much, but there is nothing I can do as or the last few years I have tried everything my end - but nothing works.
Minismum - sorry for misunderstanding , I assumed - wrongly sorry - that everyone here was HIV +?
and that your current breathing problems were due to your own HIV. I also assumed that Mini had it because one of her parents did? her mum? Please excuse me as I am very new to this and did not know that a child who was not yet sexually active could get HIV without their mum being when they were born, if they did not have a c section or via breat feeding - as blood products are now tested almost everywhere?
As I am very new HIV from the inside so I only know what I have read so far so I am probaby stil quite ignorant about so many aspects of HIV.
I guess I should not be asking - but being me I will - how did Mini get HIV?
If you do not want to answer just do not but I can not help wanting to know.
Not out of any vicarious curiosity but because I am trying to learn as much as I can about this as I am trying to start a HIV network for women here, and some may well not be HIV but with HIV partners or their children may be HIV + - so just interested to know so I do not get it wrong again in the future. You can of course ignore this question or PM me.
tendai - Yes my daughter is now a very beautiful 18 year old woman, and despite how she feel about me I am still very, very proud of her
Sorry about the continuing difficulties in your country. I have to admit from over here I can not understand why no one is rebelling big time - as you say it is ridiculous that 'one crazy selfish senile geriatric who refuses to let the country recover all because he's afraid to be sent to jail when he's out of power' can hold a whole country to ransom?
but that is what seems to be happening from me looking at it from over here in the UK - but I can not possibly understand the whole situation. But I do hope something changes there soon for you all.
Sorry also about your friend testing poz for HIV. I hope her work goes well and will be the right thing for her to do
Better get on - I was supposed to be working today doing a web site - but got distracted, prefer to be on here today
Love Veritee
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I wonder what the exchange rate is between 1 US dollar and what ever currency they use in Tendai's country.
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I do not know but my Zimbabwean friend intends to visit Zimbabwe in November and is taking US dollars and UK sterling as both buy you things - she says - that Zimbabwean money does not
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For you Betty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaOyUdiv7rU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaOyUdiv7rU)
BTW Veritee your daughter is beautiful.
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Thanks - she is
I guess we will be Ok in the end as I love her so much
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Veritee, Mini's birth mother had HIV and passed it to Mini. She refused to take any meds for it during pregnancy. As for your daughter, no you can't change her. Honestly, you can't change anyone but yourself. I've found that out the hard way. But, if you're happy with yourself, then that's what really counts. I know that doesn't stop the hurt, but at the end of the day, if you're alright with yourself, that's an accomplishment.
I'll post more tomorrow ladies. Have a good evening.
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Good evening! Well another day has gone by which has brought me closer to the end of the year... :)
The last day for the students is June 12th. My last day is the 13th. We have to pack up the rooms and everything. I plan on teaching summer school so I will have about a week off before I start that. I am not even sure if it is a definite thing. It is supposed to be for Kindergarten... :-\ I don't know how that will go. I am so used to the 5th graders.
Snow: I did not get my air conditioner fixed yet. It really cooled down so it is not a pressing problem. Of course I need to get fixed before the weather turns around again
Today we had our "Growth and Development" movie. Every year we watch a movie with the 5th grade about puberty. The boys are in one room and the girls are in the other. I have been with both the boys and the girls and I feel much more comfortable with the girls because, quite simply, I am girl and have all the parts. This year we have a new teacher who is totally incompetent and HATES this grade. She wants to be a principal and is using this as a stepping stone. I can't stand her and most people steer clear of her, but that is a whole other story that has been going on all year...I'll spare you the whole background. Anyways, she freaked out when she heard she would have to be with the boys. OK...she is married and has 2 sons...hello? I said I would stay with her. Of course I did the whole thing. During the "question" portion she did not say one word. Ridiculous! They are 10 and 11 year olds. The only thing they want you to do is say "penis". Of course they get silly and sometimes ask crazy questions, but they are just curious about it. After the movie and Q&A we go outside for P.E.-One of the boys in my class is walking with me and tells me, "I can make it stand straight out. I don't know how but I can make it do it." I say to him, "What do you make stand out?" He then points to his crotch and says, "This!" Uh yeah...that was an over share...LOL! I wanted to laugh but I just said Oh...give him a couple years and he'll know EXACTLY how he makes it "stand straight out" If only that innocence could last longer.... :)
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I had to laugh at your "Growth and Development" movie story vivyt. Are you a teacher?
I am a qualified teacher but have not taught for some years, but I remember things like this with the younger ones....in fact more the boys than the girls as somehow the boys just seem to know less than the girls - well the ones I taught anyway
yes isn't it funny and also cute when they are so innocent - and the boys just wanting to hear the words, , and then cracking up ( breaking out into uncontrollable giggles) and the boys also always seemed to be more obsessed with bottoms at that age and what comes out of them than the sexual bits - the boys I taught at that age anyway - I found that funny also.
But for most of my working life I was a youth worker with much older children.....
And my specialisation was 'sexual and reproductive health'!! And I was actually amazed at the ignorance of their bodies of even theses older young people and again especially the boys/young men - what do their parents tell them? They think they no but they know just so little of what they should know.
But that teacher - who would not go in with the boys alone - oh dear!! It seems she needs some lessons too, or to look at her own attitudes and feelings. Oh well, not everyone is comfortable with sex and especially passing it on to young ones
But I had to laugh!! It reminded me of my years educating in this area - so funny sometimes and yes so innocent - winch they could remain like that, but on the other hand that would be ignorance and would not be good
Veritee
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Thanks Betty
My daughter did come round and actually say sorry last night - she never usually does ever...........
But I am not sure how much this was genuine as my husband talked to her about not being 'rude' to me but mostly he had to take the car away form her she borrows but she mostly uses and we pay for..............
Because a few days ago she hit while parking it a brand new Alpha Romeo and now we are looking at huge insurance bills for its repair as our insurance will not cover the repair of a car that expensive and that new...................... and also the insurance company do not know that it is my daughter that mainly uses the car, because she only passed her driving test 6 months ago and in the UK if you insure a car in the name of a young person who has not had a licence for long the insurance is usually over £1500 a year - it can be up to £4000 if the young person has had knocks!!
So like many parents here (UK) we put the car in our name, made her a 'named driver' and let her borrow it as then the insurance bill is only about £400 - but to do this they must only be using it a small amount of the time as if they use it as if its their car that invalidates your insurance and then the insurance company will not pay ANY of the cost of any knock with another car. And she has had 1 small knock before this one.
And my daughter has been using the car more and more until really now she rarely brings it back .........so my husband is worried that if they find out she has been using it as her car when she hit the Alpha Romeo - the insurance will not pay out at all and it is going to be thousands out of our own pocket. She did not do that much damage and on an older less expensive car it would not be so much, but the repair bill on a new car costing over £60, 000 will be huge ,just for a small knock to the side and the bumper!!
So he felt he had to stop her taking the car and she knows that I am more likely to cave in on this if she finds she can not get to work etc - she uses the car mainly to get to work and as we live in a very rural place without the car she often can not work as her two jobs are 14 miles apart in places there is no public transport between.
So I felt so much better that for once she had apologised to me for the way she has been towards me again - as she usually does not
But now worried she only apologised because she needs the car and knows if I feel sorry for her if she can not get to work then I can persuade my husband to let her drive it again!!
Very difficult - because if she can not get to work, she will not have the money to pay for the room she has near her main work, and we are tied into paying it if she can not as she is too young to have a contract on a rental - here they do not usually let you have a rental in your own name until you are 21 - so we guaranteed her flat, so if she does not work because she has no car we end up paying her rent.
And my husbands wages stop altogether next month as he has been retorted due to ill health, HIV/AIDs so I just do not know how we are going to pay for the damage to this car she hit or her rent
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I will tell you the full story - have not before as it is very complicated
I am sure no one is interested - and why should you be ? but I need to tell it
I promise once I have done this I will not go on about the situation anymore - except for little things when it gets too much
My daughter can always live with us, she has her own bedroom and her own sitting room, we are so lucky to have a have a large farmhouse, that we bought very cheaply derllict and spend nealry 20 years renovating by hand just the two of us ( I learned lots about building, plastering etc ) with now only the two living in it - we did have a foster child in the past - and her own boy child and her later lived with us too - but she has long grown up and gone - lives in Sweden!!
My birth daughter is always welcome and my husband will drive her to work if she is living here -- but she has been so angry with me and threatining to run away from me now for some years and eventually did - ever since the accident that led to my disability really - she was about 13- 14 when she first started theatening this - it has been only since I became disabled, before this I felt we got on really well - I could have been wrong but this is how it seemed to me!!
so we now pay rent on accommodation for her to stop her living on the streets
When she finally ran away properly did not at first offer to pay rent for her to live away, as we felt we just could not afford it and told her she would have to stay at home - she said she would 'rather live on the streets than live with me full time'
and I called her bluff and said she HAD to come back and live with me .....My husband was not at home then as he was at sea full time to try and earn enough money to pay for it all, so it would have just been me and her.
But she did not - she was only just 16- 17 then went and lived on the streets, and slept on friends and strangers floors etc I did not know wher she was for most of that time and it was total hell............ so eventually we had to start paying for a room where she could go when she was angry with me!!
But not before she ended up in a hostel for homeless young women which I will tell you about below.
With my daughter I feel I can not win - I know if she behaves like this towards me we should not give her money for a room or the car .....but if we do not pay for the car she can not work - and her work is her life she loves it but it also then means she can not help us pay her rent on her room and if she can not pay her rent , either we have to pay it all or she will live rough, and she is still only 19 - her 19th birthday is this week -
She has done it before she is very stubborn - and very angry with me at a very deep level, so will not give in and just live at home all the time which is what she should do given the situation.
For me it is a catch 22
I just can not see her living rough again as she really is very small and vulnerable, only 4ft 11 tall and very small and innocent looking and while she is stroppy with me she is NOT with anyone else and NOT someone who can defend herself and look after herself in the world you can find yourself even in Cornwall if you have no home you will go to, life is very rough even on the streets even in a rural place like this
....So last time at just 17 - she ended being housed her own protection by social/youth workers and was put in a hostel for homeless young women
Ironically it is the only hostel like this for in this county at all and one of the reasons it exists at all is I helped to found it when I was a youth worker for the local authority in 1996-1998!! I was one of the main female youth workers who heped make this hostel possible!! My daughter was about 8 to 10 when I helped found this hostel and our difficulties had not begun then so I never thought my own daughter would ever go in it
As then I was concerned as a youth worker with girls and young women, that there was no where vulnerable young women could go if they could not go home due to abuse or that the home just was not OK
- so it shamed me beyond belief that my own daughter was then in that hostel as while the staff did not know me personally as they were new since when I left youth work in this area , I feel they must have known of me and my reputation for all the good work I had done and that I helped to found that hostel!!!
All the girls and young women in there at the time were mostly younger than her and all had criminal records for drugs - speed mostly - assault, and one for stabbing someone, two were sciztaphenic/psychotic and often got violent - - others got violent ior loud and abusive too.
and my daughter was the only one going to college regularly and with a job and the other girls often kept her up with comeing in late drunk or druged or taken back to the hostel by the police etc - it was just not a place where someone trying to go through college and working should be
My daughter does not take drugs, she does not have a mental health problem - well yes an emotional problem with me - but not psychosis anyway, and is actually very law abiding ( this is not just my belief it is true she just is not interested in drugs and scared stiff to ever break the law does not drink and is not ever violent and never loud - she is the opposite of loud ) -
but the workers could/would not believe that as she is such a nice young women, she would not go home simply because she was angry with me??
I do not think she ever actually said this - that I abused her, I hope she did not, I am told she did not, thankfully I do not think she has never been that horrible about me - but I think hostel workers assumed that I was abusing her in some way for her to be so insistent that she would NEVER go back and live in her own bedroom in her own nice home with me!!!
It was so awlful when she was in that hostel - becasue I was/could be a potential abuser I was not even allowed to step into that hostel to see her.
Once when we had a family funeral to go to, a relative of ours who we were both fond of 92 died, and the funeral was in the same town as the hostel, so I went to pick her up, she was not quite ready and it was raining very hard so I was not allowed even in the hall of the hostel to wait for her so I had to wait outside in the rain - so my black funeral clothes got wet and soggy and I had to sit through the funeral wet - a terribel day for me !!!
- and she insisted to the hostel workers that she would go back on the streets if they asked her to leave the hostel or did not find her somewhere else - she did not say that this was the case - that I abused her -
but just clammed up and said nothing except she would never live at home if I was there and that she would live on the streets!! so that they would not make her leave the hostel, so their assumption had to be that it had to be something like this!! That I was truly abusive to my daughter!!!
However as there was no provable abuse - and believe me it would never be provable as it has NEVER happened, and she was coming up to 18 and too old to be considered that vulnerable, so she had to leave the hostel, they found her a room in a student house only 3 miles from us
But of course she is at college in the day and while she has always worked she can not work enough just at evenings and week ends even in her two jobs to pay her rent all the time on a room of her own - at 18 she just does not earn enough per hour to do this -
So we have always had to guarantee her accommodation rent, and we have paid most of it, plus paid for her car and her petrol and insurance and give her money, food etc.
She does live at home some of the week too - but not to see me - now Barry can not work and is not at sea, she comes home to be with him about 3 days a week but still refuses to live here full time, becaus eof how she feels abotu me. She treats me like I am the lodger and that I do not belong here in my own home.
And if I get upset and say anything she goes back to her room we rent for her - and Barry has now insisted that she HAS to come back here full time now he is home but she will not while I live here - as she says it is impossible, she could never bare to live with me and so the fear is if we do not keep paying for a room she will end up on the streets again. And I am her birth mother and love her, not just some woman her dad married
I know that like the hostel workers anyone reading this may feel there is something I am not saying and I am somehow horrendous to live with or a nightmare
Thre are always two sides to any story
but I assure you I am not a terrible person to get on with - I get on really well with most of my friends my family, my husband, I have a woman my age who has become a friend that practically lives with us as she has a trailer/caravan in our grounds and all will say I am fine - someone they both like and respect.
But that I get very upset only when it concerns my daughter and how she feels about me
Yes I do lose it with my daughter when she treats me as she does - and I have bene over the top at times - but I think anyone would under these cuircumstanses lose it soemtimes, and only verbally and then only when she has kept it up for days and I have really has enough and just feel so hurt I can not stand it anymore
Well that’s the whole story
You might say what is my husband doing? - well he really is a lovely and very placid man but he does try .
He used to be able to do nothing at all to help as he was working away at sea all the time. And when he was home for shorter periods my daughter would be on her best behavour as she did not want to upset him as she knew he was only home for a few weeks
But now he is home due to HIV, he is as stern with her as he can be ( he finds it hard to be stern or angry he is just not built like this but he does try for my sake) and says all the time it is not acceptable to treat you mum like this and why do you, what is it all about??
..... but she just clams up, she will not tell anyone truly why it is like this for her - why she feels like this about me - not even him and if he presses her she just walks out on him too and goes back to her room we pay for ..... and his fear is, like mine , that if we do not pay for her room she will at 19 end up on the streets and she is too old now to go back to the hostel.
So I ended up with me - a respected ex youth worker form the same area - with a daughter in a hostel I helped to found, and while we had the money we felt we had no choice but to pay for her to have a room elsewhere -
it takes the pressure off of me too if nothing else as at least I know if she gets angry with me and walks out again she is safe !!
So I guess we woud have got by by just paying for her accomodation and living costs until she left college and could earn enough to keep herself.
But now the time is coming due to our HIV - Barry has lost his job, I do not earn that much - that we will not be able to pay for her to have a room - but she feels no better about me and will not live here
For me it is a terrible situation
Not just because my lovely daughter seems to truly despise me and can not stand to be in the same house as me for more than a day or so at a time.. and I just can not find out why - what she feels I have done or what has caused this beyond my becoming disabled
..............but also because if this situation does not resolve soon we are going to have to stop helping her to live away from home financially and I am so scared for her if we can not pay for her room as she starts a degree course in September and in the UK there are no grants anymore for kids to have an education beyond 16 -17 - there used to be but now only the richer can afford to put their kids through a degree course as the grants even for poorer kids were mostly abolished a few years ago - there are small grants that she is applying for but they will not keep her for 3 years - so parents are expected to pay and look after children until they leave college at 21-22.
And we could just about do this if she would live at home and travel into college - as her degree course is within travelling distance
There is a scheme called a student loan - and she is trying to get this but if you get this you end up at 22 owing the government at least 30,000 that you have to pay back!!!!!!!!!!!!! As it has to pay for your tuition fees your living costs your, accommodation for 3 years!! So you end up with escalating debt - due to interest - for the rest of your life unless you have a really well paid job and pay it off quickly
with HIV- and my husband having had AIDs - we do not know how long we will be around for her or be able to earn enough to help her ( I know that we could live for years with the HIV meds and hope we do but we are already in our 50s and Barry is still not at all well ) and we do not want her to have debts like that so young in life
I feel totally trapped by the situation
Before we knew we had HIV I guess the plan was my husband would just continue to work away from us as a seaman long enough to put my daughter through college and pay for her accommodation etc in the meantime
Now this is just not possible – he is not well enough to work, I do a bit of web design and let out a trailer/caravan and a holiday apartment but this does not get enough to keep even us and certainly not my daughter living away for home too.
I do not expect or want anyone to spend any time thinking of answers – I know only we can solve this and we will get though :)
But I just felt I wanted to tell you the whole story rather than just telling you bits
So that you understand what the full position is.
I know compared too many of your situations it is nothing - just maybe a spoilt kid who will not live at home!! i.e. Mimi with HIV I can not imagine what this is like as my daughter does not have this and others have more than one child I only have one –, and others on here have many more difficulties than us .
But I just wanted to tell you to avoid having to explain it in bits all the time
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ignore me
it is all so very new to me - this HIV - combined with other ongoing life situations
sorry - just got no where else to tell
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I know compared too many of your situations it is nothing
Veritee
Of course other people have problems but that doesn't make your problems any less important...just wanted you to know that.
You need look after you, your health is important.
Sending you big hugs from NZ.
Love
Jan :-*
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Morning ladies,
Viv, I loved that story about the boy who said he could make it "stand out." That's hilarious.
Veritee, sounds like you've had quite the time with your daughter. Like Jan said, you need to take care of you. Your daughter is young enough to take care of herself.
Yesterday when I was at the ASO, a doctor called about one of the clients. He was my first HIV doctor (he didn't know it was me). I haven't seen or talked to him in years. So, anyway, when he was done talking about the client, I said "Dr. Clausen, you don't know who you're talking to, do you?" He said, "No." I told him and he yelled "No shit!" So, we talked for about 20 minutes. He lost a finger last year due to some flesh-eating disease. I'm not sure if he caught that from one of his patients here, or if he caught it when he went to India, which he does once a year to treat people there. Anyway, it was good to talk to him. I'm sure he probably thought I was dead.
Today I go see the orthopaedist. I'm trying to think of the best thing to say to him. I want to say "look, you gotta do something, I'm too young for a wheelchair full-time." We'll see. I guess I feel fortunate that it's been so many years my knees have been f*** up and I can still walk on them. I'm not resigning myself to a wheelchair, don't get me wrong. One of the clients at the ASO has a new Jazzy, and it looks like the Cadillac of wheelchairs. He said it cost $6300. And it zips around pretty fast. Now that would be something, if I ever have to walk long distances again.
Nothing else going on today. I'm either cleaning today or tomorrow. Oh, I e-mailed my doctor yesterday about a prescription for Welbutrin to stop smoking, and he sent one to my pharmacy. It will probably take about a week to get here. I would go back to patches, but my prescription plan doesn't cover them ever since Chantix came out. And I won't take that anymore. It gave me horrid dreams and anxiety attacks. Yesterday I didn't smoke a cigarette all day because I have some left-over patches. Of course, it's only one day so I'm not getting real excited yet. Have a good one ladies. I'll be back later probably.
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Hey everyone..
Betty good luck..that has to suck.. ???..hopefully the doc can find a solution for you..
i havent read everyones posts yet..but i just wanted to pop in n say hey...im doing ok..i could complain but i wont...
Netta: youre really pretty...Oh yeah and so is veritee's daughter..
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wendy today if you have $1US u can get $500million Zimbabwe dollars. not that it would buy u much....maybe a loaf of bread for about $400mill, the $100mill left over might get u a freezit or a packet of popped maize/corn
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Afternoon ladies,
Back from the orthopaedist. He told me both knees have avascular necrosis and that there's no cartilage left in either knee, bone-on-bone. He said he would in no way do knee replacements on me. I told him he might want to talk to my doctor so my doctor could put his mind at ease; to which he replied "well, he may well want to put my mind at ease, but the evidence out of the "academy" shows that people with advanced HIV disease who get knee replacements end up with disasterous infections that more often than not result in amputations." (he told me the same thing a few years ago, so it could well be the evidence has changed and he just doesn't know or care). I asked him about a less invasive surgery-nope. Physical therapy-nope. I said "so there's absolutely nothing that can be done?" He shook his head no and smiled. I wanted to kick him in the balls at that point and tell him that maybe if I was a Notre Dame student he would try something (that's who they mainly take care of at that place). He treated me like I was sucking time out of him and I was some kind of pariah. So, I e-mailed my doctor to see if there's some other ortho who is willing to work with HIV+ people. I'm highly aggravated to say the least. Of course, I wanted to rush right to the tobacco store and buy some cigarettes when I left, but I didn't. I came home and finished cleaning my apartment.
I made an appointment with the diabetes educator here. I need to lose about 20 lbs, so I figured she would be the best person to talk to about how to do it. Usually when I take care of things other than just seeing my doctor for the usual, I do it in a swoop. Now, all I need to do is to make an appointment with my eye doctor. I broke my glasses at the 1st convention I went to this year and it does say on the back of my license I wear them. I have diabetic retinopathy in one eye and a cataract in the other. Nothing major-I can see fine. The only thing I have trouble with is wording at a distance. But, I can read and everything without the glasses.
Other than that, nothing else going on. I hate being treated like a leper by a doctor. I thought those days here in the states were over years ago.
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thanks so much Jan from NZ
I am so sorry Betty about your unhelpful orthopaedist
I feel a bit like this about my HIV consultant
If she were a man I would want to kick her balls and felt like it anyway...........
but my orthopaedic surgeon is great - so maybe another opinion, like you are trying to get will give you a different answer?
As I wrote to my orthopedic surgeon - well both of them , I have two, one for my ankle another for my knees - when I found I was HIV and they did not seem to think it would make any different to any future surgery...........
As I said I expect to have knee replacements one day when it becomes totally necessary which for me is not yet.
I know I have not known about HIV for very long and may only have had it 7 to 10 years but they did not seem to think this could not be done in the future.
So I am hoping for you it is just because you have a ortho surgeon that is just unsympathetic to people with HIV and that things have moved on since you last looked into it
I am just so sorry you had to go to this ignorant doctor
better luck with another one
Love veritee
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Whew! Ok, I'm all caught up. If I miss anyone, my deepest apologies - my memory isn't what it used to be.
Veritee: Betty is exactly correct in her explaination of me and Mini. There are a few HIV- people on the site, but they are directly "linked" to a pozzie. To my knowledge, I'm the only neggie parent of a Jr. pozzie. These women opened their arms and hearts to me and, have generally, put up with me ;) I literally landed at AidsMeds front door by total accident last October with tons of questions and worries. I wasn't sure how i'd be "taken" or "accepted", but the folks here have been WONDERFUL and I can never show my gratitude sufficiently. OK, enough of that.
Betty: Thanks for the explaination to Veritee. I'm sorry your orthopedist offered you a grand total of NOTHING in way of help or hope. Mini's ortho was the same way. Was your doc's name Dr. E. Jones? ;) I do worry about you getting around and up and down your apartment steps. Seems like someone could do something to help move you to downstairs or offer some suggestions for modifications to help you out.
Snow: I'm feeling your pain at the pump. We live in the middle of no where and our SUV guzzles gas like it's kool-aide. We're trying to save every ounce of money we can in every way we can. I saw a book the other day offering "creative" ways to save money. But, to find out, you had to fork out $15.99. I fingered through it and one of the ways was to borrow books from the library instead of buying them. I just stood there and laughed ;D
I forget who asked, but Hubby and I are going to Hershey, PA. We drop the kids off a week from Sunday and will pick them up on the next Friday night. We found a beautiful cabin with a porch swing and deck that we're staying in. It's only 2 1/2 miles from the park and runs a free shuttle service. We've had reservations since February. Next Thursday, June 5th, is our 15th wedding anniversary. Not bad for a gal who SWORE she'd never get married. On June 7th, our #4 will be 6 and on the 18th, our #1 will be 11! I'm too young to have an 11yr old.
#1 is doing better and back to getting on everyone's nerves. In other words, he behaving like a typical big brother. I got my kitchen cabinets and pantry all sorted out and reorganized. It took all stinking day and you'd never know that i did anything unless you knew the inside of my cabinets. I threw 4 garbage bags of "junk" out, too.
Both boys have ball games tonight. It's wee-man's last t-ball game. (YEAH!) Speaking of which, we need to leave in 40 minutes and we haven't had supper. *sigh* Another round of very quick moochies.
Lots of lovin'1
Mum
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wendy today if you have $1US u can get $500million Zimbabwe dollars. not that it would buy u much....maybe a loaf of bread for about $400mill, the $100mill left over might get u a freezit or a packet of popped maize/corn
Thank you tendai. If I where better at math I could tell you how much a loaf here would cost. If I got the cheapest loaf of store brand bread I here I guess it would cost roughly 700 million.
I really stink at math. LOL
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Hi lovely ladies! I missed u all. Veritie ur pics are beautiful!!!! as ur daughter!!!
BETTY sorry about your pain and ur doc visit but guess what???I have been in so much pain this week with my KNEES AND LEGS!! is something going around???lol I will be going to see my reumatoid arthritis doc real soon, this might be whats wrong, I have not been in about 2 years!!!ok now the GOOD news! MY labs are great!!, my virus is undetctable again but MY T_cells have shot way up to 690 !!!!!! :D they haave NEVER been that high!! I have had from 60 to 250 tcells so this is a miricle!!!.
Thanks ladies for the comment on my pics, I hope all is well. Tired now will check in tomorrow. luv to all
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Hi! Anotherr day...too tired to really type anything long. I am hoping to get report cards finished this weekend...my last set this year... ;D I am really going to work this weekend, yeah right! LOL! Talk to you all soon!
Oh, Betty-I would definitely try for a second opinion. I am sure there is another way.
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Thank you all so much for the comments
I take photos as a hobby and have an HND - sort of like a lesser degree for those of you not in the UK - in Multimedia Design - I taught it for a while - which included digital imaging so all my photos have long been digital and I love taking the.
Fortunately I live in a very beautiful area so I have things I can take - if i did not it would be difficult as I rarely travel. I suppose if I lived in a town I would concentrate on taking photos of people and street culture - but here I rarely see many people unless I go into town and there is no street culture.
re my daughter - yes I think she is lovely and am so proud of her despite how she feels about me.
We are both of gypsy origin, both Barry and I, although both our families stopped travelling when we were in our teens. But Barry really has the gypsy colouring and looks and has passed it on to his daughter.
Unfortunately although I guess of the same genetic pool I did not inherit those looks - so I am blue eyed, red faced and mousy
Hair naturally the colour of my daughters - and his when he had any - and her skin tone and very dark eyes seems very unusual here amongst the mostly Cornish people we live among ( which is strange as Cornish people are supposed to have dark hair too but mostly they do not and often have a very different skin tone) so she really stands out here, as well as being beautiful her colouring is unusual here.
Many of her friends her age use hair dye to try to get the same colour as their hair is mostly light brown to mousy and bleaching it blond or blond streaks is not fashionable any more like it used to be, so now they want dark rich brown or black - but Caja's is naturally very dark and rich. Now she is older it is much darker and richer too. She can thank her dad for her looks, not me!!
Thanks Mum
I am very new to this but I am so glad theses lovely ladies welcomed you here, they are so helpful and welcoming.
I hope Mini is well?
I hope you have a lovely break without the children in Hershey, PA and it sounds nice although I have no idea where it is!!
I said I would never marry too, and now been married 21 years!!!
We also have 'pain at the pump' but not obviously as much as the US. But because I live on a smallholding with no proper road to it I run an old four wheel drive Jeep, as any other type of car get wrecked going up and down my track - which of course uses just too much fuel. But I am lucky in that it runs on LPG gas and not petrol, as we converted it many years ago, and Liquid Petroleum Gas is still half the price of petrol here, so it is not as bad as it could be
Yes it does seem like this is a week for knees!!
i do hope everyone finds a solution for their knees soon. Here is is spring and my knees, pain and mobility always improves so much in the summer months so I am looking forward to this - but I do nto know what season it is for all of you where you are - sorry I am a bit ignored as I have not travelled much. But I hope for those with arthritic and damaged knees you get soem dry warm days as this really seems to help
Great about your lab results Netta - do you feel better or does it not make much difference as long as you are over the 250 CD4 mark?
Well again I am writing in the morning when I guess most of you are now in bed
Sweet dreams all !!
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hi ladies,
I am so late for work, I know I dont have fixed hours but i do feel guilt when its past 10.00 and am only having breakfast - guess i should enjoy it while it lasts.
anyway, Betty, that royally sucks about that wanker doctor, sorry to hear that, and i hope you find another doctor soon, they cant all be like him, what a bastard. its amazing you didnt smoke, shows how strong you are. a couple weeks ago i had a fight with the bf and i had one, but it was so nasty, i havent had one since. i associate cigs with emotional pain and stress rather than a good time now... too bad i couldnt make this association all those many years of smoking.
Tendai, I am sorry about your friend. I hope you have a good weekend, as much as possible. I wrote you the rest in an email last night.
Veritee your daughters really really pretty. I dont know what to tell you about it as i am not a parents, but i was a bad daughter too... now i adore my mum and its like a punishment for me living so far away from her, and my brother is away too. things could change, i dont think my mum ever imagined that i could take such a turn. looking back, b/c my mum also had post partum depression, she gave me to my grandparents, and that was not a good place for me to be, and my dad was also away most of the time, in fact i can barely remember him from my childhood, i always had the feeling that my parents were the happy young couple and that we the children were intruding (and also was seperated from my brother b/c they kept him). it was as though my dad was the most important memeber of the family, we had to do everything not to disturb him cos he was working so hard. anyway i am rambling, but the clue to your daughters resentment could be buried so deep that she herself doesnt know what it is. things were always very explosive btw me & my mum, there were many periods that i didnt want to speak to her, and i also left home as a teen and got in a lot of trouble, unlike your daughter. it made me miserable too b/c i didnt know why i resented her so much; we can still spiral into a fight but very rarely b/c i keep checks on my irrational behavior. so my suggestion to you is only work on yourself, how you react, so often we are slaves to our feelings. i have learned to ignore my feelings - yes! life is not Oprah, its not an emotional rollercoaster, I can respect my feelings but I dont have to act on them, they are just undercurrents. when you will feel better, things will be more stable I beleive. dont forget that she is still growing, things could be so different in the future. i dont think my parents even thought i would be alive let alone a normative person - well, as normative as i became anyway - and your daughter is way more normal than i ever was then... and also have a sitdown with her maybe with or only by Barry to talk just reasonably about the money thing, b/c what's the point of having 2 jobs if you cant pay anyhting, and she cant milk you both dry - you need that money too... those are my thoughts might not all be relevant but put them down anyway.
Viv, so your vacation is a week? Hope summer school will be easy. Is it at the school?
Netta, congrats on your #, that's great. Hope your pain gets better soon.
Hugs to everyone else - Wish, Cind, Mum (enjoy that cabin!), Win, Pink - just everyone...
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Queen, when are you going to come back and join us? hopefull soon? how are things looking with your friend and the ride? its this Mon isn't it? here's to a peaceful weekend...
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hie y'all
Netta - congrats with the numbers they're real good
Betty - i hope u find a doctor who knows his stuff. knee replacement surgery here is so expensive and theres only one doctor who does them and hes only into the country a few times a year, so all our patients who need knee replacements have to wait till he comes and cough up the foreign currency to pay for it.
Drag - my friends not doing so well.she went back to her husband and told him her result and he kicked her out of the house and she slept out in the guards cabin. im so furios at him. she's planning her revenge though. wants to go back and slice up his clothes every single one of them.
i just came from shyguys office. he's realy quite nice i think. i almost kissed him :o
thank God its Friday! and my boss is away the whole of next week and so i'll just be coming half days, oh yeah, doing a happy dance :)
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Netta- Great numbers!!!!
Betty- That is crazy, I wouldn't have blamed you if you kicked him in the balls, what an ass! Did you hear anything back from your doc about a doctor with a clue?
Veritee- Your daughter is beautiful!
Ten- I hope things do work out with Shyguy, maybe you guys can spend more time together next week ;)
Mum-If you ever shop at Walmart, just pick the book up there with all the money saving tips, you can read the whole thing by the time they check you out, maybe they are faster where you live? Have you guys ever seen the crazy guy in the commericials for goverment grants? I wonder if those are legit? Of course, you have to spend money to find out about that too.
Viv- The stand out story was hysterical!
Drag- What time did you end up getting to work? :)
Wish- Whattsa matter?
I talked to SB's daughter the other day and the poor girl was hysterical! She finally found out about her father and him being positive and infecting me. He had left a whole bag of pills in her house and her friend looked them up on the computer and they were his HIV meds. So she said something to his wife who told her everything. I felt so bad for her because she was crying and so upset. She also told me about him trying to touch her when she was in her early teens?? I am really beginning to think he is a snitch or something? He has over 40 charges of various things- rape, drugs, assault and battery, breaking and entering and yet he still gets out?? Hopefully, this time will be different. I just know if it was me doing all this stuff my ass would probably be in jail forever?
Queen- I hope things are going Ok with you. Any news on a ride yet?
Much love to everyone else ;D :D ;) :) ;D :D ;) :)
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Oops ......Win- I hope you had a nice B-day...I forgot my Gramma's is the same day....she turned 93. :o
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Thank you snow. Your so lucky to have a gramma. Mine have been dead since the 80's.
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Snow, happy birthday to your grandma, many more happy years.
SB sickens me, and he ain't the only one. There's an epidemic out there, and I am not talking about HIV.
Win, happy birthday to YOU (again).
Wishful, what's on your mind babe?
Betty, bit worried about you cos you post daily. How are you feeling? karma will bite that doc on the ass I am sure, he's gonna feel every bit as angry and helpless one day soon.
Tendai, glad Dr Greedy is taking a break and giving you one too. Watch out for SG though. Your poor poor friend, what a world we live in.
Cindy, helllooo? How's your roof? How's work? How's life?
Cristy, havent heard from you in a while too, hope all's ok and u're not working too hard.
Veritee, Viv, Netta, Mom, Queen,and all - have a great weekend.
I'm just going to enjoy the weather, its sunny. I'm going to work as well.
hugs to all you ladies
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Morning ladies,
I didn't post here yesterday. I was a little busy. So, I'll try to catch up now.
Mum, luckily I live on the ground floor in my apartment, so there's no steps.
Netta, congratulations on your labs. That's great news!
Viv, counting down.
Veritee, my daughter has dark skin, hair and eyes also. She's 1/2 Hispanic though.
Tendai, that really sucks about your friend.
Snow, I think SB is just pure evil. I hope he gets locked up for a long time and away from everyone he could hurt.
Drag, what are you doing this weekend?
My doctor e-mailed me yesterday and told me that he spoke with the orthopaedist and he's (ortho) "investigating" possibilities. So, we'll see about that. I just let it go for right now pending what the ortho decides.
I went to an NA meeting Thursday night and saw a friend there who I haven't seen in years. We talked 1/2 the night. It was great. Today, my bff is taking me and another lady out for lunch. Yesterday was the other lady's clean-time birthday. Then, I'm going to help cook for a dinner tonight at an NA speak-a-thon. Other than that, nothing else really going on. It stormed yesterday and last night. It's supposed to rain today. I'm kind of tired and am thinking about laying back down. You ladies have a good morning. I'll probably be back later. Our Queen should be back sometime today.
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Betty, that is SO funny about your daughter. Our biological (#5), who is half Honduran, has blond hair and green eyes. I think Hubby's dominant genes were on vacation that night ;D
I was up at 2am not able to breathe (again! >:() I had to take Primatene and sit in my rocking chair for about an hour before I felt like I could lay back down. I finally coughed up enough crap to be able to breathe. The rain moved in last night, so I'm believing that it HAS to be connected. Until this year, when the weather changed, I would get a sinus headache, take a couple of Advil, and life would be good again. Now, instead of my head filling up it's my lungs. Very weird.
We were hoping to get #1 and #5's CHIPs cards in the mail yesterday. Instead, we got the same stupid letter from DHHR saying that we had to prove citizenship, and send in copies of thier birth certificates. Hubby went hysterical and called them back. The secretary gave her "yeah, I remember you bringing it in and don't know what happened" speech and told Hubby that the worker would call us back. We have a population of 900 people in our entire wee town, so it's not like this lady has a HUGE caseload. Hubby is very slow to get angry. He's the type of person you have to poke every once in a while just to make sure he's still got a pulse. So, for him to get crazy with this lady, it gives you an understanding of how frustrating this process has been. Especially since they've had CHIPs for a year, and then were asked to send in all this paperwork.
Hope everyone is having a great day and a continued wonderful weekend.
Mum
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Wow, be gone for a few days and there is major stuff to read. Though I know I will not remember everything. Well, first things first, my gay friend is going to drive me to Pittsburgh on Tuesday, I am paying for the gas which is what I had offered in the first place. We both have a bit of a tude with our ASO, his being that he took someone to Pittsburgh before and they hardly replaced the gas he used, I think they gave him a 10 dollar gas card so he wanted to see what my case manager was willing to do. She called the local bus company who offered to reimburse me should I be able to get a bus ticket and that wasn't possible. So she tried. I think I will take my digital camera and take some pics while I am there. My roomie is going with me since she is my emergency contact. I have to go and pick up my xrays and get another cd4/vl done on Monday.
While I was away, I really didn't do much, just playing games since my hearing aid batteries had died and I couldn't hear anything for 2 days. Yesterday, I did follow up calls to people who called me while I was deaf. I also did some research on my meds which I found out can cause liver problems so again I am back to blaming the meds. I am still taking one of them but stopped the Atripla again because of the frustrations going on in my life and felt the Atripla would only aggravated the situation. I plan on asking the specialist in Pittsburgh if it could be my meds doing this. So I am not sure how my latest labs will turn out since I am only taking the Ziagen. I figured taking one of them is better than taking nothing at all.
Betty, I feel you on your knees though they are worse than what I feel with my right leg and feet. My right foot was so sore yesterday I could barely walk on it and rubbing doesn't seem to help. I plan on contacting my clinic nurse and letting her know on Monday. I hope there is something they can do for you.
Veritee--Thanks for the support about my blogs. I have lost one person who I considered a friend because he will no longer read my blog due to the negative comments of others. He says I am putting too much of my life out there and I agree I am but how do you get to know the person whose blog you're reading if you don't? Though I admit, I think I put more of my personal life out there than the other bloggers but then we all blog about different things. Your daughter is very pretty too.
Tendai---Ooooh, you making moves on ShyGuy...lol..Remember, lead us not into temptation, gf.. :D
Mum-- Hope your baby is doing better, I forgot what number he was..lol..Never a dull moment for you is there?
Keeping-- I bet you are still glowing, it shows in your post.
Wishful---Now where the hell have you been? You sound like you need to vent, what is going on? I hope it is not your daughter again.
At the moment, that is all I can remember from what I read. I like the title too, Betty. Not sure what I am going to do now. I cleaned my room earlier and now feel really lazy. I'll check back later. Also, thank you all for your support about leaving, it really means a lot to me.
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Queen my love, may I be the first to welcome you back. I'm so very glad that you found a ride to your appointment on Tuesday and that you'll have the support of friends around you when you speak to the doctor. Here's to safe travels and a wonderful report. #1 is doing much better, thank you. He's more worried about the way it made him look than the way it made him feel. He's OCD and has an anxiety disorder. He read last night the "symptoms" of poisoning. One of them was a "rash" so now he's convinced that someone tried to poison him. Good grief!
MY vacation starts next Sunday night at 8pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love to you all!
Mum
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Morning ladies,
Queen, welcome back! We've all missed you of course. I'm glad I got to do a little communicating with you via e-mail. I'm so glad your gay bf is taking you to your appointment. I would be upset with your ASO also. It seems like there is more that could have been done. But, you're going and that's what's important. I will be keeping my fingers and legs crossed and thinking about you.
Mum, I wish they could figure out what's going on with your lungs. It sounds kind of like asthma. I'm not trying to diagnose over the computer. Did you ever get that rejection letter from Medicaid? You really need to get on their asses if you haven't gotten it yet. It must be really uncomfortable and frustrating. I hope you're cleared up by the time your vacation starts. What will you be doing on your vacation by the way?
Well, I'm a bit frustrated at our system. My friend I mentioned before that I talked to for 1/2 the night, I'm trying to help right now and I'm almost at wit's end. I met him in NA years ago (about 17 years ago). 10 years ago he got busted for selling drugs and went to prison. Now, because he has a drug felony on his record, he can't get Medicaid, Food stamps, housing assistance,federal student aid, zilch-and that means ever. I remember when they passed this assinine law. But, murderers and child molesters can get this help. Anyway, he's Native American and the feds also took away his card that permitted him to like take advantage of other government programs. Which makes me wonder what in the hell the government is doing in Indian affairs. He has a lot of health problems. He had a brain aneurysm years ago and a few years back he had a heart attack. He has high BP, but because of not being able to get government assistance, has been unable to see a doctor/get medicine. He's not working right now. He just came back to this area from Arizona. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do to help him. I'm going to e-mail my doctor, who runs the clinic at the biggest homeless center here to see if he'll see him. The clinic there usually sees indigant people for like $10/visit and sometimes they can obtain meds for people.
I think when the government passed the law on drug felons not being able to receive any type of government aid (forever) it was one of the luniest things they did. He's been out of trouble for 10 years and still can't get aid, because the drug felony will always be on his record. A friend of mine told me there are some lawsuits going on over this right now. If murderers and rapists can get help, then why punish drug felons? It's just another one of our government's ways of doling out their own brand of justice, and it's ridiculous. OK, I'm done ranting about that. I hope you ladies have a good morning.
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Afternoon Ladies---
Yes, it is good to be back and I missed all of you too. These forums are a part of my life now. Amazingly enough I am not stressed about the appointment on Tuesday like I was when I saw the specialists here. I am just glad to be able to make the appointment. I'm making it like a road trip and have the essentials plus my cam so I am going to be taking pics, some to post here and some for my blog.
Betty-- You know I am not political at all though I consider myself a Democrat. I have a felony charge to from back when I lived in Miami, for selling drugs. What can I say, I was 25, young, dumb and thought I was going to be the next Thug Miss. Now that has been over 14 years ago, haven't been in trouble since and still can't get a gun. I was even denied housing at one point, had to schedule a meeting with the man in charge of housing and plead my case. My case manager at the time even wrote a letter for me. And I feel for your friend. You know a lot of Native Americans too. I find it bizarre that murders get medical care but a person with a drug felony can't. Why are we even prolonging the life of a murderer? I don't get that.
Mum-- You have to get better before your vacation, it sucks to be sick and away on vacation. Glad #1 is better and it tickles me that he thinks someone poisoned him. He sounds like a LiL Detective now. Watch out Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo... :D
Well, not much to do today since me and the roomie had been cleaning all last night. But these damn bugs still won't go away. I discussed this with my case manager hoping they can find a way to get me out of this lease. He brought bug spray but it isn't killing the bugs but making them come out more. I hate bugs and don't do bugs.
The kittens are doing pretty good. They are up and around and being nosey. We have to clean out the room they were in and now their new home is on the porch. So today is strictly for relaxing. Have a good one.
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hey ladies
I am just back from the nicest bbq ever - it was by a poz couple and had a mixed local and foreigner, poz and neg crowd, elderly, adult, adolescent, children, babies, dogs, you name it, in the best chilled atmosphere. my friend who gave it just has a knack for putting together the most unlikely mix of people and just making everyone feel completely at ease with each other, and this woman came here as a poz asylumn seeker with no rights, no nothing, amazing how some people are.
Queen, I am so glad for you that you can make you appt and it seems have a nice little trip as well. good luck with all of it.
Betty, I didnt know about this law. its insane. i would say it surprises me. except that I hear so many crazy things that nothing surprises me anymore. how are you knees. Nice that you reunited with your friend though - what a shit with his health its all simply infuriating.
Mom, glad #1 is better. well technically he has been poisoned but not by someone.
Wendy how was your Bday, do anything special?
Keeping, Cristy, Cindy, Wishful, Pink, Netta, Snow, Tendai, Veritee and everyone else out there, have a great week. mine will be full of work, so i might not check in very often, but thinking fondly of you all.
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Betty: no rejection letter >:( Because the 1st is on a Sunday, we were hoping to get it in the mail on Friday along with #1's and #5's CHIPs insurance card. Instead, we got a letter saying that they will NOT get their insurance back until we prove citizenship, which we did LAST MONTH. Hubby called and spoke with the secretary who said that she remembered him coming in and isn't sure what happened. Well, ain't that just grand?!? So, he had to leave yet another message for the worker. Beginning Monday, he's calling 3x /day everyday until the lady calls him back. What's even crazier is that the 2 boys have had CHIPs for a year and we were never asked to submit anything. Now, a year later, they are giving us crap saying that we didn't turn anything in. I know it didn't get lost in the mail because Hubby hand delievered it to them the same day that Mini and #6 went to Morgantown to see their specialists.
CHIPs (Unicare) is accepted exactly NO where here, but the boys have to have it to play sports. And, we still pay for it, we just don't pay as much ($20 / dr. visit $10/ 'script). Last year, they were covered, and still ended up paying for medical stuff out of pocket. But, it's either that or we pay $800/month for insurance.
On our vacation, Hubby and I are going to go to Hershey park, take the Trolley tour, visit the candy plant, drive to Lancaster and visit Amish Country. Where we are staying is a log cabin with a full kitchen, air conditioning, a nice deck with a porch swing - I'm not one to "rough" it. We'll drop off the kids next Sunday at 8pm and pick them up at 8pm on Friday. Before we go, we have 2 baseball games, a trip to Pittsburgh, and #4's 6th birthday party. Good thing i work well under pressure.
I spent 3hrs yesterday cleaning our bathroom. I cleaned all the cabinets and linen closet. Then, I scrubbed all the grout, the bathtub, window sills, windows, and even the little space where the floor and wall meet. Now it's sparkling clean. Sucking in the chemicals probably didn't do well for my poor lungs. It's really humid here today, so having a little problems, but not too bad. At least I can breathe (sort of)
Ok, this is getting way longer than I wanted. Moochies and louds of hugs to you all!
Mum
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On my birthday I spent the day finishing up cleaning, spackling and painting Aaron's old apartment. So we could turn the keys back in Friday.
That evening Billy took me out to eat at an italian resturant. The table across from us had a large group of people I'm sure where several generations of the same family. They where taking pictures of each other and I was enjoying smiling and making faces in the background of their photos untill they noticed me doing it and promptly put their camera away and proceeded to ignore me.
LOL
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Winni, that is SO something I would do...lol!
Mum (who has also walked into very posh wedding receptions for people I don't know)
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Evening ladies,
Nothing exciting today. I e-mailed my doctor to see if he will see my Native American friend. Where my doctor is, if someone isn't employed and has no insurance, it's $10/visit I believe. I told the doctor I would pay it. I just don't know if they're seeing any new patients. I hope something works out. This guy really needs some help and it pisses me off that the government would even get involved in taking away a card-carrying Native's, well, card (in this country, all Native Americans have to carry i.d. proving that they are Native Americans, which is lunacy). They're the only race that has to do that. Isn't that crazy, the first people who were ever here have to carry i.d. cards stating their race. I knew about this law years ago, though. It's absolutely insane.
Queen, I'm glad you're not stressed out over your trip. I hope you get some good answers. I'll really be thinking about you.
Drag, that bbq sounds great. It sounds like you had a wonderful time. I'm really glad.
Mum, doncha love government agencies. Just keep plugging away.
Wendy, that sounds hilarious what you did. I'm glad you had a nice time anyway.
OK, you ladies behave yourselves. I'll be back tomorrow a.m.
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A lady friend here gave me a couple of photos from our children's camping trip from 1994. I dont have a bunch of photos of my youngest son so anytime someone gives me one it is so special.
I thought I would share with ya'll the picture of me. It was December 1994. I had maybe 3 tcells and was at the most 115 lbs.
I'm at least 40 lbs heaviernow. I wouldn't want to be that thin again but somewhere inbetween would be ok.
Look at my wrists and the bones in my hand and my jaw bone! LOL
My hair looked pretty good...
(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/Wendy12-94.jpg)
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Wow, no one posted anything since last night. You ladies must be busy. Nothing eventful today, just came back in from getting lab work done..ie..cd/vl...This is to see if my last cd4 was on point at being 705. I also went and picked up xrays for tomorrow's trip to see the specialist in Pittsburgh. They are on disc and wondering if I can look at them on my computer. I am assuming I can so I may look at them later, thought I have no idea what I would be looking for.
Usually by the time I log on here, Betty, Dragonette and a few others would have posted, wonder what's going on. I will check back later.
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Afternoon ladies,
Hey Wendy, I remember the "big hair" days. Yeah, you were awful thin. Hey, I have a question for you. I have a scanner on my printer. My brother's gf was over here Friday and showed me how to scan pictures. But, when I scan them they go into some "document" thing and are the size of an avatar. How can I scan pictures and put them somewhere where I can post them on this place? I tried to open the "document" file on here, but other than putting it in an avatar, I can't do it. Any suggestions? I can always have my brother's gf come back over, but I'm not sure when she'd be able to do that.
Queen, so, you're ready for the big trip tomorrow? I'll be thinking about you and wishing the best. You already know that. I hope for good results on your vl and CD4 count. Have you told your doctor about stopping the Atripla? Are you still not taking it? If you don't want to take that, you might want to talk with your doctor about going on something else. It's not a good idea to stop HIV meds once you've been on them. Everyone I know (including myself) who's done that have always ended up in almost disaster. Please take care of yourself.
I got my mammogram done this morning. They're really not as bad as some people say. The tech did an extra view on my right breast because of me having a lump biopsied there last year. I don't expect any problems. When I got my pap smear, the doctor who examined my breasts then didn't say anything about feeling any lumps.
My doctor said he'd see my Native American friend (Alex). So, I'm waiting for Alex to call. At my doc's office, if someone doesn't have any income or job, they usually charge $10, I think. I told the doctor I would pay for his first visit. Now, don't think I'm going to start taking care of him financially. That ain't happenin'. I've taken care of too many men in my life and I refuse to do it again. But, everybody needs help now and then.
I hope you ladies are having a nice afternoon. I'll be back later.
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Hey everyone...
Queen: Nothing eventful really goin on///oh i forgot..baby daddy called and said he wants the kids for the summer n school year....at this point im so not in the mood for his drama..so i was like watever...u need to request all of their paperwork...he doesnt really want that he just wants to start a fight..so i didnt even argue with him...i dont even care anymore...he tried to say something slick ..thats how i know he wanna argue..n i just nixed it off...he gonna call me from his sis fone..he such a loser...So looks like i will be having my summer after all....i knew that anyway cus regardless...he is too stubborn to LET someone say what he can or can not do with someone or something he considers his..i.e his kids...He will be begging for them to come back come summers end..or he will make up some excuse....
Besides that, im cool...waiting for some money cus im a lil behind on some things but nothing to stress about..they cant have what i aint got so thats that...
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Nothing really going on today. I've made some plans about #4's birthday party and started on my endless lists of the things I need to pack / buy for our trip.
Hubby is about to get swatted. He asked what I plan to feed the kids for supper. I told them they could eat whatever. He gave me a stupid look and said, "you mean you'd let them eat cereal or sandwiches?" What the heck is wrong with that?? Hubby said, "but you usually cook supper." Again, I say, SO! I usually cook 3 meals a day and today I cooked 2 - so sue me for goodness sake! >:( I don't see anyone starving in this house. Good grief he can get on my nerves.
OK, on a funny note. Last Thursday was #5's last T-ball game. He hit the ball and took off for 1st base. A little girl, Ashton, was playing 1st base for the opposing team. She procedes to step in front of the base and throw open her arms. As #5 got close to her, she grabbed him in the biggest bear hug! One of her team mates threw the ball to her. It landed about 2 inches from the base. Ashton's coach came over to get her to let go of #5. So, she hugged him, too. Then, so did our #5. And, not to be left out, #5 ran off 1st base to go hug HIS coach who was standing in the field. Ashton followed him and hugged #5's coach, too. THEN, they both ran the bases hugging everyone..including the umpire! When they were done, they assumed their positions: Ashton playing 1st, and #5 ready to run to 2nd base. Once Ashton had confirmed that #5 was ready to get on with the game, she picked up the ball and threw it back to the umpire who set it up on the "T" for the next batter. Everyone watching was laughing...and many were even hugging! ;D
And, so in the spirit of Ashton and our #5 - TONS of continuous hugs to all of you!
Mum
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How can I scan pictures and put them somewhere where I can post them on this place?
I go to www.photobucket.com (http://www.photobucket.com) and upload my photos onto their page then copy the link they give for the IMG code.
Its better than attaching the photo on here by clicking that addition options thing below where you type in my opinion because if later I change my mind and dont want people to see my picture I can just delete it from photobucket.
I hope that made sense...
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I still don't understand about the picture, but I suppose I'll get it. I don't see where the addition options thing is. Am I blind or is it hard to find?
Anyway, I haven't heard from Alex. So, if he doesn't call, well, I guess he won't get to see the doctor. Oh well. Nothing else going on. Mum, I love that story about #5. Kids are so great. I miss my grandkids, especially my granddaughter. I'll probably call her sometime this week and see if she wants to do something this weekend.
OH! Eureka. I see the addictional options. I thought it was before I posted. OK, I'll have to experiment later and see what I can do. I hope everyone's having a good evening.
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Nothing going here either. I went and had my lab work done today and the damn place was packed. It usually never is and then I happen to get the new girl. What usually takes 15 minutes ended up being over an hour. But at least it is out the way. The colonoscopy got pushed back til August 1st, I guess the specialist had something important to do which was cool with me cause I am so not looking forward to it at all.
Tomorrow is the day and I am going to make the most of it and try to have some fun along the way. I am going to take my cam so I will be posting pictures of Pittsburgh and stuff. But due to paying my friend for the gas to get there, I had to go into my cable bill money so you guys may not see me for a few months. But my health is more important without a doubt. I am going to be going bat crazy without cable or the internet. I do have some games I can play offline and I can only imagine how my email will be when I get back. I'll call the cable company tomorrow to find out when it will be cut off. And until then, I will try to post as much as possible. If any of you ladies have cell phones that have text messaging you can always send me a text. Just pm or email me for my number if any of you want it.
Betty, Does Alex know you were going to pay for the first visit? If so and you still haven't heard from him then not much else you can do.
Mum, cute story about the kids and the hugs. That was such and "AWWWWW" moment. Now hubby knows his behind ain't helpless. My bf complains about the same thing and says there are some days when she is just tired of cooking. And she cooks for my godson who is 19 and her bf who is grown.
Wishful, Girl you did the right thing. No worries.
I am going to try to go to bed early since I have to be ready to go around 10:30 am. Wish me luck and will keep you all posted....Good Night
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Good luck Queen, have a fun safe trip! I hope your cable doesn't get cut off, at least not for long.
Betty how are your knees? how about calling alex and telling him - it would be silly if he missed the appt for being a man :P
Wini, you look very very frail in that photo.
Wishful, are you talking about the same creep who emailed your collegues?
Mom, I can't beleive you cook 3 times a day!
I am still here, just working. the weather has been stunning, which allowed a lot of very beautiful people to take a lot of clothes off. I'd join them, but... anyway nothing eventful in the last days
hugs to everyone,
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Morning ladies,
Queen, you have a really good attitude about going today. Try to have as much fun as you can. I hope something can be worked out with the cable company. I don't have a cell phone, or I would ask you for your number. I'm looking forward to hearing what happens!
Wendy, when my brother's gf set the whatever up for me to scan pictures, the picture settings are small (the size that fits on avatar). I don't know how to make them any bigger. And when I went to photobucket, it uploads (if that's what you call it) off of the document thing on the computer, so I don't see what the difference is between using that or using the document thing straight from the computer. Anyway, I don't know how to change the size of the pictures I scan. I'm just going to have to call her and have her come back over and show me some more stuff I guess.
Drag, people taking their clothes off, aye? I'll wear tank tops, but I won't wear shorts. My legs are awful. Thin, boney etc.
Wish, I'm glad to see you posting. We miss you when you don't.
Alex called last night. He's going to make the appointment with my doctor. He gave me the phone number to another old Native American friend of mine, whose name is John. Actually John used to do healing ceremonies on me and called down a medicine man one time from the UP in Michigan, who took a water spirit out of me. John is very involved in the local tribe here (which is Pokagon). I talked to John for quite awhile and will probably go visit him Saturday morning. Then, another Native friend of mine called, named Joe. He was a very good friend to me before, then he moved out of state. Alex had talked to Joe and gave Joe my phone number (which was alright with me of course). So, I had some good talks yesterday.
Today I have to take a shower in a little bit, wait for my landlord to pick up the rent, pay some bills and do a little grocery shopping (and get some gas-yuck). I want to get this all done by noon so I can eat lunch before going into the ASO this afternoon. I hope you ladies have a good day; Queen, I'll be waiting on pins and needles to hear about how your visit went. Take care of yourself! And all you other ladies too.
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Drag: Yes im talking about El CReepo...lol...im gonna get my summer but im gonna prolly end up driving down there to pick them up at the end.....but i need and deserve a break...noone EVEr comes to get my kids.. ;D ;D
Good am everyone....
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Wini, you look very very frail in that photo.
I was
Wendy, when my brother's gf set the whatever up for me to scan pictures, the picture settings are small (the size that fits on avatar). I don't know how to make them any bigger. And when I went to photobucket, it uploads (if that's what you call it) off of the document thing on the computer, so I don't see what the difference is between using that or using the document thing straight from the computer. Anyway, I don't know how to change the size of the pictures I scan. I'm just going to have to call her and have her come back over and show me some more stuff I guess.
I'm not sure how to make them scan bigger without being there. The difference with posting via photobucket is that later on you can come back and modify the message by deleting the picture in photo bucket. Ithink if you upload it straight into AIDSmeds you only have a limited time to modify pictures.
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I finally made it back. The trip was frustrating because we got lost and couldn't find the damn place even with the directions they mailed me. We found one part of UPMC which is hella big and asked one of the nurses for directions, found the place with no problem.
I get there 30 minutes late for the appointment but the doctor saw me anyway which I was grateful for because if they would've told me I had to reschedule, I would've had a heart attack on the spot. After doing the usual, found out I have a temp of 100 though I feel fine. I will check it later on, right now I just want to fall over because I am so tired. But I figured I would post before I try to wind down some. When I saw the specialist, he asked me why I was there. I told him about the lesion the other specialist saw and how he ordered the MRI, never told me what he saw but referred me to him. He seemed not to understand why I was referred to him. He assured me that it wasn't cancer but could be the beginning stages of liver disease but doesn't want to say for sure until he gets the blood work back.
What I feel is played by the local specialist. If the one in Pittsburgh saw there was no reason for concern then why the hell did the local specialist want me to go to Pittsburgh in the first place? Yeah, bitching bu happy everything is alright. So back on the Atripla I go tonight and will continue to take it now that I know it could be my hiv med or the other meds. I guess the specialist in Pittsburgh was use to seeing this and told me not to worry so I am not. My next appointment back in Pittsburgh is on August 5th.
I am tired as hell so not sure if I will check back later, if not then I will be back tomorrow. But tomorrow is focused purely on rest and some relaxation. I am turning my phone off, matter of fact, I have my extended away message on now and it's going to stay on til Thursday. Nothing I can do about the cable getting shut off, it was important for me to get to Pittsburgh today so it wasn't like I blew the money for the bill. Sacrifices had to be made and as much as I love my cable and internet, I will have to do without til I can get it caught back up.
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I am sorry that your trip was so frustrating Queen- but glad it is not cancer - at least you know this?
I doubt if I can help as I am new to HIV
but it was because the HIV meds I am on - which are the same as Atripla but in two tablets - can damage your liver in susceptible people that they made such a fuss about my liver when I was honest and said I drink alcohol regularly ...
And this is why I was given scans and was referred to a liver specialist and why they will monitor me all the time I am on this combination of HIV meds.
In fact for me I was found to have NOTHING AT ALL wrong with my liver!!! And in fact an ordinary ultra sound can apparently tell as much or more about the state of your liver as a MRI.
I was referred to both but the Ultra sound told them more and what it told them is that I have a perfectly normal liver :)
However as I said - because the HIV meds we are both on, can cause liver damage this may not be for a few years down the line I am told - so I will have to be monitored regularly al the time I am on thses meds.
But I am appalled that you have had to go through all this and all that travelling just to be monitored. For me on the National Health Service in the UK, to get an ultra sound or an MRI scan or to see a liver specialist, I only have to go to my nearest bigger hospital which is only 20 miles away!!!
And I can have this monitoring as regularly as I like or need - my next routine check up on my liver is in 4 months!!
I know that in the US the system is different - that your health care is not state run and you have to have insurance...........but I thought that if you did have insurance the treatment you would get would be as good - or better - than ours?
Well that's what all the American TV programs about hospitals in the US we seem to be forced to watch on our TVs seem to suggest ( i.e that your health care is better than the UKs)
But from what you say has happened to you, and Betty with her knees recently, it does not seem like it is at all to me.
As I get regular access and within easy traveling distance to any doctor or consultant I want. Even if they do not think it is necessary I only have to ask and insist, and I can see, within reason, any specialist I feel I want to see and none of it paid for at the point of service by me
As it is paid for through National Insurance contributions that all of us pay by deductions from our wages all the time you work.
But even if you have NEVER worked or paid anything you still get exactly the same access to treatment. As those that pay and do not use it much subsidise treatment for those who never pay for.
The UK health service is criticised a lot here - and I do believe/know we do have fewer choices of medications, therapies than might be available in countries without a state system as the state National Health system controls what medications, therapies they offer as a limited choice.................if a med or therapy is not on the list - you can not get it and many with cancer are very upset and campaigning about this as they do not have the choice in cancer treatment than they may have elsewhere
But from what I read on this forum I do not think I will criticises the NHS here as much.
As what you had to go through just to get a simple specialist opinion would NEVER happen here!!
And I am so sorry it has happened to you.
But as I said I am so glad that you have found out it is not cancer
Love Veritee
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hi ladies
shyguy gave me a fright the other day. he was walkingme into town after work and he wanted to go to this embassy to drop off a letter so i told him where it was, right. so we start talking about something else and all of a suddn he goes "Hey are you positive?"
I was speechless with shock, thinking, "WTF? why's he asking, did he hear something , did i hint at it too well. WHY IS HE ASKING!!" so im just looking at him and he repeats "Are you positive" and i keep staring at him like an idiot. Then he goes "are you sure thats where the embassy is?"
i just started laughing like a fool. Poor guy was baffled and was asking 'so why are u laughing at me' and i was like 'no im laughing at myself, i'll explain one day'
I was so unprepared for such a question and of course i thought he was referring to HIV status and i was so not ready to go into that discussion in the middle of the street. But i guess i'll hav eto tell him sooner rather than later coz im really starting to like him.
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Oh how funny Tendai
I think I would have thought Shyguy was asking if I was HIV positive too and so I can understand you thinking that!! But it was funny when I read it :D
It sounds like you two are getting along OK?? and so I do hope it goes alright, if and when, you do feel you have to tell him about your HIV.
Saw Mugabe on an in depth news channel today because he attended a world conference on the world food crisis -
and it was about 'how dare he go to a conference about food when a lot of his country is starving due to his actions??
' but no one booed or challenged him him while he made a speech - no one at all challenged him, not even the UK or African states - why??
Maybe I can understand why the UK minister did not as most of the speech was saying it was totally the UK/ex Commonwealths fault - and other ex colonial powers - that Zimbabwe is now in the state it is at present and it has nothing to do with his policies etc -
but totally to do with our present policies towards Africa, aid and what we did in the past!!!
What do you think honestly?? can you tell us or would that not be advisable for you to say??
- i.e does Zims current position have anything to do with the UK? past or present
- I do understand enough about our 'colonial' history to understand that the 'British empire' onwards, would have had long reaching effects and it could be a factor and I am happy to hear that it has , as I would just like to understand and plainly I do not, understand what Mugabe means -- or what his reasoning is!!
I listened to his speech in full and I just could not see how this could be affecting what is happening in Zim now?
Nor how the food aid Britain sends to many countries including African countries could actually be making everything worse - which is what he said in essence????
So I understand that the UK minister may have thought that to challenge that speech, as the UK does have a lot to answer for in the past - would not be appropriate and make things worse - so he he did not!!!!
But I am shocked that no one else challenged him either i.e other African powers or ex commonwealth countries.
As to me what Mugabe was saying was so plainly crap!!!
As how can the UK or any other country be to blame for what is happening in Zim now? - it has to be entirely the total mess this man has made in recent years
But why does no one challenge him when he speaks such total rubbish? - I can understand why people living in Zimbabwe do not - it most be very scary to even think of doing so?
But why not even politicians and prime ministers etc from other countries who have nothing to fear from Mugabe - do not challenge him
What has this man got that keeps everyone quiet ?
The more I hear of this situation the less I understand ??
Sorry to go on about Zim - I have a friend from there living near me here - and it is so puzzling to me what she has told me - and you - and interesting too as it was always an interest of mine the history of the so called 'commonwealth' and what we as Britain's were responsible for - as I grew up in the 50s when the commonwealth still existed and have always been interested in oppression and Africa and Asia and our responsibility in this as a nation
I hope you are still managing OK living there
Veritee XX
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Morning ladies,
Queen, I'm sorry your trip was so frustrating. Now, are you saying the speciailist you just saw yesterday didn't understand why you were referred to him? That would piss me off. I hope your bloodwork comes back alright. Did you take some pictures?
Veritee, we have cutting edge technology here, but the sad thing is that not everyone has access to it. If one's not employed, or has no insurance, they're basically screwed. A lot of these people just wait until an emergency happens and end up in the local emergency room. It's pitiful really. With as much money as they charge here for treatment, meds etc. it seems like it would pay for everyone. I don't know what is going to happen with the elections in November, but hopefully if the democrat gets in there, things will change. There are way too many people in this country who have no access to healthcare, can't get any meds, and die needlessly.
Tendai, have you thought about telling Shyguy? You know when the time is right, I know that. Good luck if you like him.
Today I'm going to do laundry. I told Alex last week I'd do his, so I'll have some extra to do. No, we're not involved sexually or romantically. We've been good friends since the early 90's, that's all. He spent the night last night and we watched baseball and talked for quite awhile. I'll be taking him with me Saturday morning when I go see the Native American guy who used to do healing ceremonies on me (John). It should be a good Saturday morning. John told me a few things when I talked with him on the phone a couple days ago that I found interesting. I'll talk about them later. I know some people might find a few things he told me about when he used to do the ceremonies on me a bit surreal.
Other than that, nothing else going on. I hope you ladies have a good day. I'll probably be back later.
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hi ladies
Queen I am glad that you don't have cancer!!! even though that doc should not have wasted your time, but maybe he was afraid to diagnose? I dont really get it. There're ways of sending results for consultation without sending the patient with them too nowadays as well... oh well, anyway good news, actually great news.
Betty I am looking forward to your reports on runiting with old friends. I always had a thing for native americans, though I have never actually met one, but I like the look. I do have authentic dream catchers in my room, authentic cos they were bought from real native americans but who knows, maybe made in China. It can't hurt can it...
Tendai I think something similar happened to me once when my heart skipped a beat, not with the word positive though. It is funny...
Mom how are those old lungs :P. funny story with the hugger. its so sweet when they are so inoccent, which takes me to Viv "I can make it hard, I don't know how" ;D. I would think that all kids know everything from online porn now, but luckily not all...
I know I am responding in delay to some of you - I am sorry for posting little, I have been tired as hell lately. keep wanting to post but too tired. I think its stress from work cos all I wanna do is sleep
so greetings to everyone - hugs from me for now
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Drag- I know how you feel, I have been exhausted lately too. I am not sure why, since I don't have a job?
Ten- That is a funny story, you must have been stunned! I think I posted this before but around the time I first found out, I used to work with a bunch of guys and they would come in and out of my office. Well, one day this one guy goes "Hey--"Snow" How do you spell Hiv? I paused and said H-I-V and then he goes " Are you positive?" and then starts laughing and walked away. Wicked funny joke....NOT!
Betty- That is nice you are helping your friend out. I would be interested to hear your stories, I used to love going to the pow wow's they held where I grew up. I love the music with the drum beats and the chanting.
Mum- That must have been so adorable to see with everyone hugging.
Sorry if I missed anyone. My mind is a mess right now, tomorrow is one of the court dates, I hope everything goes well(for me, not him :) ) tomorrow. Take care everyone.
Snow
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Good morning everyone.
Very funny Tendai. I'm sure I would have responded the same way.
Sounds frustrating Queen but it seems like you are on the right track. If the other bozo doc doesnt think he is good enough to treat you. Hell I dont know. I just hope it all works out for you.
I blew my lid yesterday. The manager of the old apartment complex called my house looking for my son. I talked to him instead because my kid doesnt live here. That sorry son of a bitch wants to charge us 147.00 plus keep the security deposit. He said to buy paint and replace the carpet. Well he has to paint anyway before he gets a new tenant and the carpet has mold under it from where their shitty a/c unit leaked all over it. That ass wipe isnt getting shit from us.
Ahhh I'm going to drop it. Even typing about it makes my blood boil. I busted my ass cleaning that place up and now I wish I had left it looking like shit.
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Ahhh I'm going to drop it. Even typing about it makes my blood boil. I busted my ass cleaning that place up and now I wish I had left it looking like shit.
do you still have the key? ;)
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Afternoon ladies:
You know, I've been wondering where in the hell CRISTY is?? Girl, if you're lurking, please let us know how you and Robert are doing.
Drag, I hope you are able to get some rest. It's not fun walking around and trying to function being zombified.
Snow, I hope the court date works out in your favor. You sure don't need the crazy SB in your life.
Wendy, I would have read that man for filth. WTF does he mean wanting to charge money for things that are his fault? That would definitely make me a little homicidal (or at least wanting to do a battery on his ass).
Saturday morning (I think I have already posted about this) is when I'm going to see the Native American (John) that used to do healing ceremonies on me. I would post about exactly what he did, but that wouldn't be cool. They were healing ceremonies, though, that took some spirits out of me. And when he called the Medicine Man (Kishko) down from the UP, well, he took a spirit out of me that John couldn't. It was all pretty wild, and a lot of people wouldn't believe it. But, I know what happened.
Today I did Alex's laundry for him. He's gone for the day though; which is kind of nice, because now I have my apartment to myself for a couple days. He left with one of his friends and they're going to try to find work like mowing yards etc. There's nothing between me and Alex but friendship. I've known him since the early 90's from NA (Narcotics Anonymous). See, in my daily life, I just try to help out someone who needs it. I know when I've needed help, people have helped me. So, I try to reciprocate. All in all, if I'm alright with myself at the end of the day, that's what counts. I don't know if that makes any sense. Oh well.
I hope you ladies are having a nice afternoon. I'll be back later.
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Afternoon Ladies--
I have finally gotten up. And am actually in a great mood. I called my clinic to find out what my viral load and cd4 were from Monday when I had blood taken. I thought for sure with all the hopscotching I have been doing with meds that it would be low but it actually went up. It went from 705 to 775 in just a month, remember ID doc thought the last draw in May was a blip, that's why I had it redone. And I am still undetectable. Last night I went back on the Atripla after getting the news from the specialist in Pittsburgh. I am thinking if I would've stayed on it, it could have possibly gone higher but I am not complaining. My percentage stayed steady at 26.
Since I was gone yesterday, I have to get out and pay my bills today. But I feel rested both my body and mind, I think last night was the best sleep I had gotten in a long while. And with the news about my cd4, I am on cloud 9.
Betty-- Glad you got ahold of Alex. And I definitely believe what you said about the ceremonies. I wish I could see one. I am sure we have Native Americans here but I have only seen one and that was some years ago. I think they are sexy as hell especially when they don't cut their hair. That is such a turn on. No time to be getting that kind of fever... ;) I did snap a few shots while I was there. I have to look at them and see how they turned out.
Tendai--- Ooooh, your posting on ShyGuy has turned into a soap opera to me, not belittling you but it has my interest. And him asking if you're positive is like having one of those cliff hangers that breaks and goes into a commercial. But I am staying tuned in... :D
Wendy-- Take his ass to court. Did you take pics of the place before you cleaned it? Or let him take you to court or your son rather. Pictures speak volumes ya know. I watch too many judge shows.... :D
Veritee--- I don't know why they sent me to Pittsburgh but this specialist seems more competent than the local one.
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I should have taken pictures. But noooo I thought the guy would be decent.
I gave the keys back.
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Hubby called DHHR again today to see about the boys' CHIPs and my insurance. The ever so happy secretary said that she remembers Hubby bringing down the paperwork in person and told the DHHR lady that we were concerned about getting another letter saying that we hadn't sent in all the necessary paperwork. She also assured us, in her ever so sweet voice, that the Lady hasn't had time to put it into the computer yet, but she would get to it soon. EXCUSE ME!!??!! She hasn't had WHAT??? TIME??? It's been 3 freakin' weeks and that's not enough TIME to put the information into the computer??? I mean how hard can it possible be to hit a few buttons for crying out loud! Thank goodness that the boys hadn't needed to go to the ER for some emergency. Maybe THEN she would've found the time. And would someone PLEASE explain to me the definition of SOON!! What the hell is "soon"? In MY book, "soon" would be BEFORE 3 WEEKS! But, then again, that's just me..an impatient, know nothing, non-government worker..who is about to say "screw it", grab my book and a couple bottled waters, and wait for Miss Soon As I Feel Like It to get back to her office. >:(
I've said it before: quick to take and slow to give.
Mum (who sits next to Winni in the "too pissed to think straight" section, with a very mean look on my face)
P.S. saw the new Denzel movie "The Great Debaters"...wonderful and beautiful movie. Also saw the movie "Untraceable". The end was hokey, but the premise was very scarey and very real. All in all, not that bad of a movie.
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Mum (who sits next to Winni in the "too pissed to think straight" section, with a very mean look on my face)
LMAO Thanks I needed that!
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Before I forget I found a site online with Texas tenants rights laws. I'm crossing my fingers Mr. I'm An Asswipe Slum Lord screws up.
He has 13 days from the time Aaron turned in the keys to mail us a itemised list of charges and to let us know they will be keeping the security deposit or they can be sued for 100 bucks plus three times the deposit.
I'm not counting on it but it sure would be funny.
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Hubby called DHHR again today to see about the boys' CHIPs and my insurance. The ever so happy secretary said that she remembers Hubby bringing down the paperwork in person and told the DHHR lady that we were concerned about getting another letter saying that we hadn't sent in all the necessary paperwork. She also assured us, in her ever so sweet voice, that the Lady hasn't had time to put it into the computer yet, but she would get to it soon. EXCUSE ME!!??!! She hasn't had WHAT??? TIME??? who is about to say "screw it", grab my book and a couple bottled waters, and wait for Miss Soon As I Feel Like It to get back to her office. >:(
Mum (who sits next to Winni in the "too pissed to think straight" section, with a very mean look on my face)
They only do things on "their" time and never wants to do anything then unless the other shoe drops. But then they don't understand when someone shows up at their office and goes "postal" on their asses. It's not happening to them so why should they care or else they act like it is coming out of their pockets. And when you're done in Wini's section, you could always come to my section, "The say one more thing and I am going to fuck you up" section.....LOL
Before I forget I found a site online with Texas tenants rights laws. I'm crossing my fingers Mr. I'm An Asswipe Slum Lord screws up.
He has 13 days from the time Aaron turned in the keys to mail us a itemised list of charges and to let us know they will be keeping the security deposit or they can be sued for 100 bucks plus three times the deposit.
I'm not counting on it but it sure would be funny.
Girl, count the days down and if Mr. I'm An Asswipe keeps the deposit, I'd be on his ass like grits is groceries. I love when landlords think they have all the sense. Who is thinking of a way to get my own landlord caught up. I like the guy but he sucks as a landlord. He does just enough to pass inspection but if he don't do something about these issues I am having he is going to be in some shit.
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And when you're done in Wini's section, you could always come to my section, "The say one more thing and I am going to fuck you up" section.....LOL
LOL That is too funny
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LOL That is too funny
Yeah, it is and I can laugh now but when I am going through it, I think I really do give them that look. It's amazing how quick you get an answer or the look of they are thinking of a "right" answer to give me so I don't jump on their ass. And it's even funnier when the places I go have so called security, I give them the look of, "I got enough whoop ass for you too, Barney Fife".... ;D
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Hubby called DHHR again today to see about the boys' CHIPs and my insurance. The ever so happy secretary said that she remembers Hubby bringing down the paperwork in person and told the DHHR lady that we were concerned about getting another letter saying that we hadn't sent in all the necessary paperwork. She also assured us, in her ever so sweet voice, that the Lady hasn't had time to put it into the computer yet, but she would get to it soon. EXCUSE ME!!??!! She hasn't had WHAT??? TIME??? It's been 3 freakin' weeks and that's not enough TIME to put the information into the computer??? I mean how hard can it possible be to hit a few buttons for crying out loud! Thank goodness that the boys hadn't needed to go to the ER for some emergency. Maybe THEN she would've found the time. And would someone PLEASE explain to me the definition of SOON!! What the hell is "soon"? In MY book, "soon" would be BEFORE 3 WEEKS! But, then again, that's just me..an impatient, know nothing, non-government worker..who is about to say "screw it", grab my book and a couple bottled waters, and wait for Miss Soon As I Feel Like It to get back to her office. >:(
I hate the phony sweet ones more that the impatient jaded ones; the latter get that way b/c they actually work. There is nothing that gets to me more... I hope you are going to write to her supervisor to tell her that children are not getting healthcare because it takes her 3 weeks to type a form into a computer
~good morning everybody~
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I hate the phony sweet ones more that the impatient jaded ones; the latter get that way b/c they actually work. There is nothing that gets to me more... I hope you are going to write to her supervisor to tell her that children are not getting healthcare because it takes her 3 weeks to type a form into a computer
~good morning everybody~
Well, Meow to you too!!!!! *LOL*....Now retrack those claws woman....*pats a seat for Drag*....There's room for you in my "Say one more thing and I'll fuck you up" section.You sound pissed and I was just breezing through before I finally turn in and I couldn't resist saying something. Hope you have a good morning but it's Good Night for me.
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Morning ladies,
Queen, big congratulations on your recent labs! That's got to be a relief for you. Yeah, Alex used to have long, black hair. Now, it's short and grey. But he's still pretty handsome.
Mum, heh. I think the DHHR there is probably the same thing (organization) as the social service here. Here in the god-fearing state of Hoosierville, our governor sold all the social service agencies to private organizations. Which means whenever you call to talk with them, you don't know if you're talking to someone here or in the Bahamas (seriously). It delays things (of course, not when they want something from you) and just causes much aggravation. Also, when something like this is privatized, the employees make bonuses etc. when they can keep someone "off" the system. So, a lot of people are getting fucked. It's highly infuriating. My big aggravation right now is still with the IRS. So, I'll be taking a seat right along with you, Queen and Wendy in our respective sections. My section is going to be called "fuck me over one more time, go ahead," for the rest, see my avatar.
Alex was over for awhile yesterday, then went back to the people's place he stays at. OK, here's the weird thing. I was reading a Native American book called "Seven Arrows." When I got done reading it is when I saw Alex at the NA meeting last week, and he put me back in touch with the two other Native American friends I have (Joe and John). I told John about it (finishing the book then seeing Alex) and he said that's the way things work. John was the one who did the healing ceremonies on me. Joe is another friend of mine who gave me a couple things called Kachina dolls years ago. I'm surprised I still have them. I had several Native American things, but this guy I was living with destroyed them. It was like he was jealous of them. WTF? (Of course, this is the same guy who threw me down a flight of stairs for no reason). I used to burn sage, sweet grass etc. until that guy got rid of them. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
Not much going on today. Oh! Tuesday when I went to the ASO to do my volunteer work, the guy I talked to to start doing the volunteer work told me they had someone who was hired in through another agency who would be doing it Mon-Fri in the afternoons. He said he thought the lady in charge of the volunteering had called me. So, I was a little pissed. I drove over there for no good reason. They should have called me and told me. It didn't seem very professional. So, now I have to find something else to do with my summer until school starts again in the fall. I'll be looking into doing volunteer work somewhere else. In a couple weeks, I'll be going to a volunteer orientation at one of the local homeless shelters. So, we'll see what happens with that. Wish me luck.
OK, you ladies have a good day. I'll be back later.
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Believe it or not my maternal grand father was 1/2 indian.
I look nothing like them LOL
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Betty- I would be pissesd too, that sucks big time. What is wrong with people? All they needed to do was call you and let you know.
Win- I hope things work out with the landlord. He is a piece of crap too.
SB pleaded guilty and got a year, will have to serve 6 months and will be on probation for a year after release. Most likely he will be out in 5 months with time served. Hopefully, he gets more time on the 10th. I have to go to court and see if I can get a modification and a contempt of court.
Anybody watch the THS Channel- Dating Nightmares, the other day?
Snow
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Wendy, yeah. Usually, by the time the bloodline would have gotten to you, it wouldn't really have been that significant. Unless of course your mother married a Native American. They only do back to 1/4 to be able to be a card-carrying Indian.
Snow, I didn't see that show. I hope SB gets more time also. But, at least for now, he's put. Good luck with everything.
Alex will be staying with me for a few days. There's nothing sexual going on at all; we're just really good friends. You ladies know if there was anything going on, hell, I'd be shouting. ;) I just felt the need to help him. People have helped me and put their necks on the line before, so I'm just trying to give back.
Anyway, nothing else happening. I wonder where Queen has been? Girl, are you there? You usually post by now. Missing all the other ladies also-Wish, Cin, Camms (been a long time), Drag (I know you're busy), all the other ladies. Our own Kristine (Minismum) is celebrating her 15th wedding anniversary today. Congratulations woman! Have a wonderful time on your vacation and I want full details when you get back! Talk to you ladies tomorrow.
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Morning Ladies--
I am just doing a drive by on my friend's computer. My cable and internet got shut off yesterday. So, that is why you haven't heard from me. The only reason you're hearing from me now is because I had some drama jump off with my gay bf and his psychotic man. Then he had the nerve to call me the N word, yeah, I lost it but I wasn't provoked to violence. I knew it was said so I would go the fuck off and fight. And I almost did, I got held back. Well I wasn't going to step on their property to whip his ass so I was trying to get him to step in the street where it would've been nothing but air and opportunity. I was willing to show him what the true definition of the N word is.
I am pissed with my landlord because he is still acting stupid and not want to do anything about these damn bugs. I have had it but can't break the lease. I have to put the complaint in writing and call code enforcement. But he is suppose to come over tomorrow to do something, not sure what cause he really needs to bomb all the apartments or tent the damn place. I just want out. Still no sign from section 8.
I just wanted to let you ladies know what happened. I will check in on occassion when I can cause my gay friend who's computer I am on said I could use it once a week to blog. So, you may see me once a week or check out my blog if that's all I have time to get done.
I love you all and miss you very much and it's only been one day away.
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Good morning, my sweet ladies! Thanks for the shout-out, Betty. Yesterday was just another day, except for going out to breakfast. I got laundry done and managed to scrape together dinner. I'm trying to cook just what we'll eat that meal. I don't want to have to throw away what we don't eat when we leave Sunday night.
Tonight is #4's birthday party at the park. We're having fried chicken, potato salad, chips, and cupcakes. She LOVES penguins, so I crocheted penguins for all the guests. And, I found 10 white pillow cases when I was cleaning out the bathroom cabinets - no clue where they came from. So, i traced pictures on them and bought fabric markers so the kids can color one to bring home. My mom, for some reason, had a ton of light blue cups with penguins on them, so we're using those. I did get a phone call from my best friend (the one with 15 kids). Her #13 (who is 4 1/2) is in the hospital with an appendix attack. The hospital did blood work, found her white cells were very elevated, and admitted her. BUT, they've yet to do an ultrasound or an x-ray to make sure her appendix isn't about to burst. Totally rediculous!
It's going to be a scorcher here - 91 for the high. We don't normally see 90-degrees EVER, not even in the heat of the summer. We put window units in the bedrooms yesterday, but there's no where to put one in the living room, so it gets really hot. Still no word from DHHR. We'll make our customary 3 phone calls today to see if the information was put in the computer. Oh, well. I refuse to let it get me down during my vacation.
I'll try to check in before we leave, but the computer is staying HOME next week. I'll post some pictures next week when we get back. Everyone behave while I'm gone. My love and thoughts will still be with each and every one of you.
Mum
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Morning ladies,
Queen, that was totally disrespectful of your gay bf. I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to hold myself back. Was he high? I'll tell you, the guy that gave me herpes (you know who I'm talking about) said the N word when he was talking to me one time. I stopped him immediately and told him I didn't want to hear that word (yes, that actually happened). I'm so sorry that happened. I hope your landlord gets that bug problem under control. I would hate that. I'm thinking of you, dear Queen.
Kristine, you're leaving Sunday night? I hope you have a very peaceful, enjoyable time. I'm sure you will. Sorry about your friend's daughter. I don't understand why they're not taking the appendix before it bursts. That can be very dangerous, as you well know.
Today myself, Alex and Joe (another Native American) are having a cook-out. Nothing fancy. I'm not doing the grilling, Alex is. I have no idea really about how to grill. I've had this little grill for 2 1/2 years and have never used it.
It's supposed to be hot and humid today here as well. It was yesterday. I have a window unit air conditioner that I got from my parents' house that works very well to cool down this whole place (I live in an efficiency). Other than that, nothing really going on. I hope to hear from some ladies today!
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(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/mom.jpg)
Thought I'd share a picture of my Momma when she was in her early 20's and now.
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Wendy, your mother looks striking in both pictures.
Where is everyone?
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Wendy, your mother looks striking in both pictures.
Where is everyone?
She is a character.
Don't know. I'm home doing a bunch of nothing. ;D
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Hello!
I was noticing on some of the dating threads that there are guys who have been told of a females +HIV status and who still didn't use a condom. I'm just wondering if any of you who have had this happen know if those guys ever became HIV+ as a result of having sexual activity with a woman who is HIV+? I'm dying to know.
Before I met my husband, I did date I guy who was HIV-. We always used condoms, but there was one time when we did not. He did not know that I was HIV+. I didn't worry about it too much because my viral load was almost undetectable at the time. But, since then, I have began wondering if he's ever tested positive because of our encounter. I'd really appreciate whatever info. you all have to share.
NOTE: I am aware of the safe sex practices and disclosure guidelines that should be followed, so I won't need a lesson on that. I just want to know if those who chose to, knowingly have unprotected sex with a female ever got infected due to that encounter or encounters?
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I have met many hetero positive men who say their only risk factor was unprotected sex with women.
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Well one person does not make a rule - but my husband was unfaithful - had heterosexual sex - and got HIV and unfortunately then gave it to me.
He swears he only ever was unfaithful just once! he did not know she was HIV, he did not understand the risks as he is a older man - 56 now - and HIV did not exist when he was a single man - or not in rural UK where we live
I have known him for more than 30 years and with him for 25 so I know him very well and I tend to believe he only had sex with someone else once.............................
even though the statistics of this make it rare that someone would get HIV from just once. But even if it was more than that once, which I do not think would have been knowing him, he would have had sex with someone other than me very rarely, and I certainly did not have the virus - I was tested when I was pregnant with my daughter 19 years ago and have never done anything that was any risk for HIV before or since
Believe me neither of us have any other risk factors at all for HIV and apart from his hetero sexual encounter outside our marriage. We have been together about 25 years and I have never had any sex with anyone else in this time - and he, that once or if this is not all the truth it would have been at most rarely......he has paid a very high price for his infidelity as he progressed to AIDs before we found out he was HIV
So I am not really sure what your question was/is?
As of course I thought it was obvious you can pass on HIV to a male through unprotected sex if you are HIV + even from one encounter
The statistics may be low but you only acquire HIV on on encounter
And while if your virus load is undetectable, it was my understanding that while the odds/statistics then are low, but it is still possible - as undetectable does not mean no virus in your vaginal fluids but just that your virus level in your blood s too low to be detected by current methods?
And you can have spikes in virus load - say if you are ill, stressed, tired etc - which will go back to undetectable and you may not know about and then you could pass it on more easily.
I now believe for the sake of those women who may come after you - in some cases wives like me who have no idea their husband has been at risk for HIV and therefore do not have the chance to protect themselves - those of us who are HIV + it is best to use protection - or practice safer sex, every time, even if you do not tell them you are HIV.
( I reached menopause and not knowing he had taken this risk it never occurred to me I should use a condom etc with my husband of over 20 years - but if I had of known of this risk, believe me I would have, but no one gave me the information I needed to protect myself i.e that he had had sex with someone with HIV)
I feel strongly that I doubt will ever have unprotected sex with anyone - my husband and I have even been told that even we have to use condoms now, to avoid passing resistance between us - so even if my husband dies of this before me which is not as yet unlikely, and I am single again and in new relationships........... if I am ever in another relationship or even casual sex, I will use protection to protect them, whatever my virus load.
Because even just once means I could contribute to devastate someones else's life and family as mine has been - As if male partner's do not know you are HIV, like my husband, they do not know they are taking a risk and may not suspect they have it until years down the line and they are very ill - my husband was seriously ill before we realised - so if they are single at the time it could still affect a future family years down the line.
But I guess you have to make up your own mind on this
And I am not lecturing - I am sure you know all this as you say - but you asked the question and your question provoked an emotional reaction from/in me - in fact tears - as if only that women had told him she was HIV+ I and my family would probably not be in this situation, as I guarentee the possibility of HIV would have lost my husbands erection straight away!!! As he was in the category of being so ignorent of HIV it would have scared him silly :(
So if you ask the question you can not tell people to not to give their reaction to it.
I am not judging you, I am well aware that HIV people do have unprotected sex and that they do not always tell their partners they are HIV.
Others here have said they have and that is fine........ as I respect that it is their choice
All I am saying is I never will - and I can not pretend I do not wish others would not
But understand it is up to them
I use this forum to explore my feelings about my HIV status - which was a total and overwhelming shock and quite new....... and to get information, opinion, support and advice from those who have been here - HIV + - longer than me
and so if you ask a question like this, as my husband was infected by heterosexual sex and it has devastated not just him but me, children and the wider family, I am very close to my family and they are also devistated by my being HIV - I am afraid it is impossible to just give you a one line answer i.e yes or no
As I am still trying to come to terms with what has happened and sort out my own feelings around safer sex, disclosure to partners etc and what my husband did combined with this woman not telling him her status did to so many people.
Veritee
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my ex BF is positive and I am confident he never had sex with a man. that being said i beleive the chances of a 1 time infection esp with an undetedtable woman are immensly low.
morning ladies
i am laying low cos of work and my arm. its acting up all over again
i hope Tendai's ok, hopefully just busy with SG and being careful...
Today... i am getting my engagement ring.... finally!!! i cant wait to wear it. its amazing, i mean the idea behind it. I forgot to tell you something: Bf has found another PT so we are set at least for another year. It is nothing short of a mircale as there are very few jobs here for foreigners indeed.
Wendy ur mum is beautiful
Mum hope you have a wonderful looooong 5 days
Snow a year isnt nearly enough but at the rate hes going there'll be more...
Betty how are you knees, you havent mentioned them lately, I guess all these old friends are taking your mind of, enjoy the bbq
my ex is going into surgery sometime soon to remove the tumor in his gut. i will keep you updated. i pray that will be enough to get rid of the cancer.
hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, greetings to Cindy, Wish, Netta, Cristy (all OK?), Queen (when's the cable back on?), Viv, Keeping, Veritee and all the long(er) time no see girls.
hugs,
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Thanks drag
Sorry about your arm - but congratulations about the engagement ring and your BF job - great
I really hope your ex's cancer is cured by this op
Re our infection - My husband as never been interested in men either - I assumed the women was only recently infected with a high virus load or as she was in South America - not on medication - but it is still possible with a low virus load.
I also so hope Tendai's OK??
As I heard things had got so much worse there - he has withdrawn all food aid!! dreadful!!
Have a great holiday Mum
Its a lovely day here in the UK - not raining for a change
And love to all I have not mentioned
Veritee
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Morning ladies,
Wilted, to answer your question. A couple men I have been in relationships with since testing pozitive didn't wear condoms and they're HIV-. They both knew about me being poz. They just didn't want to wear them. I also had a relationship with a woman, but we always used protection (dental dams etc). Oh, welcome to the ladies forum.
Drag, I'm excited for you to get your ring! And I'm really happy to hear of your fiances new job. That's great. I know you're relieved. My knees still ache, just not like they did when I was doing all that walking. And, I'm wearing the brace on my left knee and it works well for extra support.
Today I'm going to see the Native American man who did healing ceremonies on me before. Yesterday's cookout went well. It was really hot, though. I was outside from like 11:30 until 5:30, and had a headache when we came in, I suppose from the heat. I had a steak and Alex made fish for he and Joe (my other Indian friend). And he also made corn on the cob, and I made baked potatoes. Joe brought me over a couple Kachina dolls (I suppose you can google these if you want to know what they are), which was really nice of him. To buy them at like a novelty shop would cost well over $100 a doll. I suppose they'd be cheaper from a Native American shop, dunno. I have four big ones and one little one. Alex gave me a bowl/dish (which you can tell is hand-made) that I'll probably use to burn sage (or cedar) in. He also gave me a medicine bag. And a book of Native American literature. It's a really good book. All stories written by Indians. So, things have been going alright. I might go to an NA meeting later, not sure yet.
Other than that, nothing else going on right now. I tried to call Cristy the other day; left a message and haven't heard back yet. I might call her later. I hope Tendai's alright. Missing everyone else! I'll probably be back later. I hope you ladies have a good morning.
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Good Morning! Just stopping by to say Hi! :) I have been sooooo busy with end of the year stuff. I HATE all the paperwork and filing.....YUCK! Next week is it for me.... ;D ;D
In regards to the hetro-male question:
My ex definitely did not engage in other activities that would expose him to HIV. He was however with many women and he does not like to use protection. Because of this I am certain he contracted HIV from another woman. Of course, he still has not admitted he has it even though he knows I do and we have had sex since my diagnosis. Whatever....can lead a horse to water....
Well ladies-gotta do my laundry and get some paperwork done. Have a great day!
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Hi GFs~
Drag, congrats on getting your ring! I was very happy to read that!
Sorry I have been away, I have been dealing with health issues and trying not to worry too much. My stomach muscles (or lipo-lack thereof) are hurting. I'm thinking its from when I rolled over one morning and it felt like I tore the hell out of something. This happens at least once a week, where I awaken and roll over to stretch and my tummy gets strained. I just really seemed to have knocked it for a loop and it hurts all day long now, kinda burns below my belly-button. I am also thinking that my fibroids may be back but this really feels different. I go see docs the first week of July.
Work is OK, I turned those two bitches in a few weeks ago for being so annoying and they are just starting to look at me again. I don't care. Iceman is wonderful. He has his kids this weekend. I am staying in the AC with Cheech, filing away papers in my spare bedroom. No way am I going outside! Its 94 degrees right now with a heat index of 101. Its supposed to hit 103 on Monday, wonder what THAT heat index will be.
Stay cool, GFs. ;D
~ Cindy
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Congratulations Drag!
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For all of you gals who have answered my question up to this point, thanks! I really appreciate it. It's not something I'm proud of and I'm really glad that there is somewhere I can go to ask these types of questions.
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Love to you Wilted
It is really a great place isn't it?
That you can ask what you like and respond as you really feel and not get judged
I hope my reply was OK - I can only respond here honestly as this is one of the few places I can
It is so complicated being HIV and involves so many feelings, on so many levels.
but I am just trying now to live my life as it will be from now on with as few regrets as I can - and quite honestly I used to suffer regrets and guilt for so many things but life is to short and I now do not bother with regrets etc on any deep level - but I still like to discuss and understand issues and process my internal understanding
So I hope the answers have been useful to you
Hope you are OK today- and that you will be back to join us more often
Hope everyone is OK
Veritee
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Morning ladies,
Viv, good to hear from you! How much longer before school's out, or is it already?
Cin, wow, it's been awhile. I'm sorry to hear about your tummy. Sometimes when I do abdominal exercises (I know, different thing) my belly muscles will ache for days and I can hardly lift my arms above my head. I hope it clears up for you soon. I'm glad things are still going well with Ice. I remember you telling us about those two bitches at work and reporting them. How's the anemia thing going? Did the doctor ever figure anything out? You should check back in more often. How's the new Insulin deal working for you?
Veritee, I like your idea about not having regrets and guilt. You're right-life is too short. I still mess up, but not like I used to (not lately, anyways).
Nothing much to report here. Yesterday I went to see John (the Indian who did the healing on me before). When I was seeing him for the healing, he used to have all kinds of beautiful Indian artwork etc. all over. He's married to someone else now, as his wife he had before died from cancer. Anyway, the new wife doesn't like Native American stuff. So, he has everything in one room. Anyway, we talked for quite awhile, he gave me some cedar and sage and we talked some more. When his new wife got home, he didn't do that much more talking about things. But, we did have a good visit. I was there for about 4 hours. Alex went with me and he and John will be doing a sweat lodge in the future. John did mention how he had testicular cancer and saw a medicine man from Canada who got rid of it.
Other than that, I did watch "30 Days of Night" last night. It was alright. I don't think it had a very strong plot, so I didn't like it as well as like "Brahm Stoker's Dracula." But, I guess it was a way to pass time last night. It's supposed to be 90 here today and humid as hell. I'll stay in the a/c I suppose. Although today is supposed to be the NA sisterhood get-together we have every month.
Lately, I've been having the runs in the morning. I don't know if it's the Kaletra or what. My sugar hasn't been high in ages, which used to cause me diarrhea. In fact, I have to run to the bathroom right now. I hope you ladies have a good day. I might be back later.
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Hi BT and GFs~
To answer your questions, I am scheduled to go see a GI doc on 7/1 and my GYN on 7/2. That should be a fun set of doc's visits. I am scared to death of the GI doc because I am being referred to him for low iron. I don't want an upper and lower GI done, the thought of fasting and cleansing and being put under is too much for a diabetic to bear. I have been on iron supplements since March 1st and recently saw my primary to ask that he put an iron test on my lab slip for every 3 months.
I'll know more in a few weeks. My primary is just scaring the hell outta me, insisting that I am "bleeding somewhere" because of the low iron level last January. Ugh. We'll see how the sugars are doing, too. I have gained about 15 lbs in 3 weeks, its been awful, but I think its from all of the stress at work. Screw it, this too shall pass.
Going to Iceman's tonight for a cookout. Yay!
~ Cindy
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Good afternoon ladies,
Cin, I sure hope they can get things figured out without too much trauma for you. I wouldn't want to get all cleaned out and get put under. That is a bit much for a diabetic. Hey, don't beat yourself up over 15 lbs. Everything will even out. Have fun at Ice's tonight.
It's really stormy here. It was fine about a 1/2 hour ago and then I looked outside and it was like night. It's really blowing etc. We're under a severe thunderstorm warning. And it's only supposed to be not raining two days out of the upcoming week. Waaaaa.
Nothing else exciting going on. Joe is here and he and Alex are in the other room talking and watching t.v. I'd like to lay down, but I live in an efficiency and I don't feel comfortable laying down and going to sleep in front of people. I've been having problems lately with anxiety. Just worrying. My car is going to poop out sometime soon and there's nothing I can do about it. Without a car I don't know how I'll get to the store etc. We don't have a good mass transit system here. If you want to get to the bus, you have to walk about 2 miles, then they do exchanges for about 4 hours what would take about 1/2 hour drive.
OK, that's enough bitching for me. Snow, where have you been? Camms, Drag, Netta, Keeping, Wishful, Cristy etc. I know Queen won't be on for awhile, and I miss her also. You ladies have a good day.
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Evening Ladies and Surprise----
I know no one was expecting to hear from me today. I am at my friend's house using his wifi but am using my laptop. So, I have just been looking over what I have been missing. Good to see you pop in Cindy but sorry to hear about the health issues you are going through, believe me, I can relate. I still have a colonoscopy set for August 1st and I am not looking forward to that. Having to fly to the bathroom from drinking that stuff then being on a liquid diet. The day of the procedure, I can't even take my meds so I am not sure how it is going to affect me. I know I will be running low sugars the day before because of the liquid diet.
Betty-- No, it was my gay friend's bf who was calling me the N word. I have nothing to say to him and does not accept his apology. He keeps blowing up my roomie's phone and coming by my house leaving letters for my gay friend. I am getting tired of it and had called the police station and asked what can be done, I plan on filing harassment charges against him. Though I would get more satisfaction just kicking his ass but I don't want to end up at the county with my son, so I'll just whip his ass legally.
I forget the person who asked about infection from a woman but I was under the impression that it is harder for a woman to infect a man, I think I heard that around the forums somewhere. But is even less if a person vl is low or undetectable, not to say it's not possible so I won't say that.
Where did Christy go and where has Tendai gone to? I am missing you all like crazy but it is going to take me a minute to get my cable and internet back unless my roomie gets it in her name whichever comes first. So, all of you take care of yourselves and I'll try to jump in when I can.
P.S. Someone needs to start a new thread.... ;)
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I'm tired or I would start a new thread.
I went out to the mall today and purchased a couple of outfits for the old man I work for's birthday. His paralysed brother asked me to do it for him. Used his credit card.
I looked for a new dress for me. Tried on 7 of them but I didn't like anything. Is it just me or does it seem that all women's clothing here for the last couple of years has ungodly prints?
I just wanted a simple single color dress that would hold my boobs in and be at least knee length and not look like I was ready to set sail for some Caribbean island and not be see thru.
I tried a new recipe this evening. Amish baked chicken. I hated it. It was too rich. yuck.
I cut all the breading off and it was edible. I made potato wedges with caramelised onions, steamed broccoli and carrots too.
I'm throwing the recipe card out of my recipe box for that chicken.
I just took my meds and I'm going to chill for the rest of the evening. My legs are sore.
LOL bitch bitch bitch
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Good morning ladies,
Queen, great to hear from you! I didn't know it was your gay friend's bf. I wouldn't accept his apology either. I don't understand how some people can be such ass-holes.
Wendy, just south of the next city over (to the east) it's Amish country. They have a place there called "Amish Acres." It's like a place to go and look at the work they do (quilts, etc) and they have a restaurant there. They bring tons of food and keep bringing it. When I went to the last convention, we drove through a few places where all there were were people in horses and buggies. I don't know about today's dresses. It's been so long since I shopped for actual new clothes. I go to Goodwill or Salvation Army.
I'm going to call the phone company today about checking out their prices etc. on internet and phone. I'm paying way too much with the cable company. I mean way too much. So, I might be making a switch before long. I can't stand paying almost 1/2 my check to them every month for internet, phone and t.v. With the phone company, they have satellite, which I might ask about also. I don't know how my landlord would feel about that though. I guess it never hurts to ask. Other than that, I'm going to take a movie back to the library that was due back Friday. I don't want to get too many fines accumulated. Nothing else going on, at least right now. I hope you ladies have a good morning. I'll probably be back later.
Edited to add: When trying to attach something using the "additional options," how do you do that? I tried and when opened something and tried to post it, it said "body of message was empty."
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Not much happening. This is my last week. Today the 5th grade is going on a field trip to see "Prince Caspian" at the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood. Usually we go to the IMAX and the science museum which gets old, so I am excited about this. It seems like the closer the end of the year is the more there is to do... ??? Thursday is the 5th grade promotion which is the kids last day. The teachers come back on Friday to pack up the classroom. Every year I tell myself that I am going to be super organized when I put stuff away but I always reach a point where I just throw things in boxes and put them in the closet...so bad!
Anyways...that's all! I'll let you know how it went today :)
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Edited to add: When trying to attach something using the "additional options," how do you do that? I tried and when opened something and tried to post it, it said "body of message was empty."
Step one: Click Additional Options located under the box where you type your message.
Step two: Click the Browse button.
Step three: Locate the picture you want to insert and click on it Then click open
Thats it. all you have to do is post your message.
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Afternoon ladies,
Well, I still don't know where everyone is at (the ones who have been MIA for awhile).
Viv, thanks for checking in. So, you're getting down to the wire, eh?
Wendy, I tried steps 1, 2, and 3, but maybe I have to write something to post the pictures? I opened the pics and hit "post," but it said the message was empty. I'll try again. If it works, the first picture is of me, my 2nd husband and my daughter, back when I had big hair. Well, maybe that's all I try and post right now. I'm not sure how to configure it to look bigger, but here goes. Edited to add: omg, it worked!
[attachment deleted by admin]
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LOL Yeahhhh it worked
Love the big hair ;D
Your daughter looks cute but not real pleased to be having her picture taken.
Thanks for sharing your memories.
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Here's one of me when I had the wasting (yeah, I'm the one with coffee and a cigarette)
[attachment deleted by admin]
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OK, just a couple more. The first one is my mum. The 2nd one is my daughter and granddaughter.
[attachment deleted by admin]
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You where as skinny as I was in the wasting picture I posted of me up there.
I think I have that microwave behind you in my son's apartment LOL
His girlfriend was so excited today she said the light in it started working again.
Modified because we posted at the same time
BEAUTIFUL!
Your moms eyes are gorgeous.
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Hey Wendy, thanks for the comments about my mum's eyes. Yeah, I miss her.
Tell your son's gf I understand the excitement of having lights in things you're cooking in (hee).
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Good morning as it is my morning - 8.11am - no idea what time it is for the rest of you except Drag as there it is probably the same or near to here
Its lovely to see photos of people that post here as it really helps me to put faces to stories and news. You were both so thin Betty and Wini
I have to confess that I did have a brief thought that if HIV or the medication did have the effect of making me lose some weight it would be a small positive >:( but then I dismissed this thought as daft, as I have been really thin through illness in my life a few times before ( not then HIV) and of course it is not a good thing. But I have found it annoying that after a lifetime of being slim in the last 3 years my weight has shot up - and for no reason as I really do not eat any more and I am still very active.
But funny enough I have a picture of me when I was very thin too
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Veritees/methin.jpg)
But this was due to my then recovering from an operation where I had been very ill - nearly died of a gangrenous appendicitis - and the fact I suffer various intolerance and for a long time I did not know exactly what was making me so sick, so I became far too thin - happily once I worked out everything I could not eat or handle, my weight has been fine - and I am now too big :(. Barry in the picture was quite plump for him at the time!
It is helpful to me to see people with HIV can regain their weight as Barry is still very thin and I am hoping the HIV meds will help.
They have in a way as he is eating a lot more and has gained weight, but unfortunately not all over but just on his tummy :( He has always been slim and has never had a pot tummy, but now he is thin with a big tummy!!
I hope he puts weight on more evenly soon
Your daughter Betty is dark like mine and looks lovely and the big hair was very big!!
I like your big hair - I tried for big hair when it was fashionable but my hair never cooperated
I hope everyone is OK today?
Veritee
( I edit a lot because of my bad spelling - dislexia - which even the spell check misses often )
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I thought I would share one more recent of Barry when he was so fit and healthy, before HIV got to him.
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Veritees/BarryPreHIV.jpg)
It does upset me that one act of sex has led to my losing the always so fit and healthy man I married! He always enjoyed such good health, far more than me as I have had many operations and have not always been healthy, but until HIV, even though he was getting older he was just so very fit, never ill anytime and had never been into hospital and had only seen a doctor about twice in 20 years!
It does hurt me to see him as he is now and him having so many health difficulties........and for what - one brief moment of dubious pleasure - as he says he did not in fact enjoy it!! - I do not know if I beleve him and in a way woudl rather he had!! but such a waste anyway and just so avoidable
One of me with my dogs in the garden the other day:
(http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/PNI-Community/Veritees/medogs08-1.jpg)
Sorry that the pics are too big - I use photobucket and have not figured out to do what the rest of you have here i.e have them small in the post so you can click on them and make they bigger in a pop up window to view
I will figure it out soon
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Morning ladies:
Veritee, I don't know how to use photobucket, so you're one step ahead of me. I have a scanner on my printer, and my brother's girilfriend came over and set up the program in it and showed me how to use it. I don't have a clue when it comes to these types of things. You were very thin in that picture. Your husband is handsome and I love that picture of you and your dogs. My daughter's father was Native American and Hispanic. So she's not as dark as a full-blood, but she did get some nice skin coloring from him.
I sure wish I knew where everyone's at. I'm going to try to get ahold of Cristy again today and see if I can reach her. I don't have much else planned today. In fact, I don't think I have squat else planned.
Since I'm not going to be at my ASO anymore, I filled out a volunteer application online for a local homeless shelter, and on the 16th is volunteer orientation. I have to do something with the summer besides sitting around reading and watching t.v. School doesn't start again until the beginning of September.
I had gotten some tobacco a few days ago and some papers. I have never been able to roll. When I was a teen-ager and smoking pot, I had pipes, of all kinds. I tried to roll a cigarette yesterday and didn't do too well. So, I went to the tobacco store and got one of those little rolling things for $3. It works alright, when I do it right. It's all very frustrating, but it's much cheaper than buying cigarettes by the pack.
I hope you ladies have a good morning. I hope we get more activity today. :-\
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Good Morning-
Love all the pictures! It is nice to have a face with the names. Well yesterday went well. It was long and hot! The movie was good and the kids behaved themselves. This week there is so much for me to do and not enough time to complete it. I am putting the little books together for the kids and it is taking me longer then expected...uugghhh! I will get it done today! I will get it done today! Maybe saying it more than once will make it happen... :) Gotta go!
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I am quite new here
But are there a lot of those who have used the womans section for a while missing?
If so I do hope they are not feeling they can not post for some reason or another
Hope they are all OK
Veritee
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They are probably just busy. I know Queen isn't connected to the internet at the moment and pops in when she can.
They will come back eventually.
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Evening ladies,
Viv, well, I hope you got it done!
Veritee, yes there are different women here. I'm assuming, like Wendy said, they're busy. Eventually some will come back. I do miss our regulars, though.
Today was a totally boring-ass day. The only time I went out was to get papers to roll my cigarettes with. I did some housework and napped for a bit. That's about it. I suppose my life just isn't exciting at the moment. But, trust, if it does get exciting anytime soon, I'll let everyone know.
I'll be back in the morning. I hope all our MIAs are doing well.
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Hey Guys-
Hope everyone is doing well, staying cool or warm, depending on where you are. It is hot as H-E double hockey sticks here. I have been trying to keep up with everyone but haven't really had time to write. I love everyone pics they put up, maybe someday I will grow some balls and post one too. :-\ My car has been acting up and not starting the last couple of days so that I have had to have someone else take me to pick the trip lets up from school, not fun, at all. I have an appointment Friday to hopefully get it fixed but I hope I can get it in before then.
I finally found out how SB got infected in the first place. I was talking to his wife and she said that he told her that he and his ex-wife (the one that died) used to shoot up. He told her this after he had her filling out all kinds of paperwork for him to send to the ex so that they could get married. All the while ,he knew the person she was filling this paperwork out for was already dead, he is such an ass, had he running around for nothing. He went to court again yesterday and the lawyer wanted it moved to the other town he had violated in because he knew the judge there was more lenient, so who knows if he will get anymore time added on.
Betty- I hope things work out with the homeless shelter, that would be nice to be able to get out of the house. What kind of classes do you have to take when school starts back up?
Veritee- Your husband is handsome, he reminds me of one of the designers on Trading Spaces.
Moon- I hope that you are feeling better.
Viv- How is the weather where you are? They have actually let some of the schools out for early dismissal because of the heat. That never happened when I was in school.
Win- Hows your turtle? We found another one in the yard today. I am going to take it into school for the teacher, she wants one to be a companion for the one she has at home in a pond. How did things work out with the landlord?
Drag- I hope work is going well!
Sorry, if I missed anyone, I have been suffering from CRS(Can't Remember Shit) a lot lately. I don't want to screw up and loose my post if I flip pages, maybe I will try to see if I can figure out what the next Roman Numeral is and start a new thread.
Everyone have a good night.
Snow
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The turtle is fine. I saw him today waking past the back door.
The landlord thing I'm still ignoring because it hasn't been 13 days yet. But he hasn't mailed me a itemised list for damages. So that is a good thing.
We had a blow out with my step son's gf today. Billy has noticed some of his meds missing the last couple of months. Pain meds. She was over today doing laundry and he forgot to lock our bedroom door when he left leaving her alone in the house. When I got home I checked my hyrdocodone and saw there where some missing. I peeked in her purse and saw a pill bottle and I looked in it there was a mixture of my hydrocodone and his muscle relaxers and other pain meds in it.
Billy confronted her outside and she admitted to taking them and apologised but I had to leave while that was happening to go pick up Aaron from school so I didn't get to way in on the confrontation.
When I got back I found out she had apologised but not given him the bottle of pills. I blew a fuse and we went over to her apartment so I could talk to her.
I went in and told her to give me the bottle. Of course she says she flushed them. I said ok, show me the bottle. She got sassy with me and tried to refuse to show me and I yelled at her, grabbed her purse and started going thru it in front of her.
She finally got up and got the bottle out of the bathroom. It was empty.
But I'm not sure she really flushed it. Nothing I can do about it aside from not allow her in my house alone again.
She said she is going to get help. <shrug> I hope she does.
She likely has a stash of our pills somewhere in the house. We have roughly 90 muscle relaxers missing and god only knows how many pain meds. Their bathroom smells like pot. So I know they smoke weed in there.
Last month I had 5 Reytaz missing. I hope she enjoyed them. LOL
Thats pretty much it for my day aside from the horrible diarrhea I got after yelling at her. I was so mad I was shaking. If I didn't give a damn about her I could have beaten the living hell out of her.
I'm not a violent person but I have one hell of a temper.
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Hi All
As you know I have run another forum for about 10 years and we do find at times that those who have been regulars stop posting so much or even leave altogether and others then become regulars . In a way because I started it I am probably the only consistent person - the only one left from years ago or even the last couple of years :(
I do always find it so sad when this happens and people move on as I have felt I knew them as friends so when someone stops posting all the time it is like a friend moving far away - but I guess people have to do this and it is nothing to do with those still on the forum - still sad though.
But I suppose this other forum is different as women do recover from Post Natal Illness ( Post Natal Mood Disorder) and so we guess this is why they move on
We will not recover from HIV unfortunately but I guess the focus of our lives can change?
Winiroo - oh what a difficult one with your step sons gf!!!!!
I must admit I can understand taking many other 'recreational' drugs and as a young women took/tried a few of what was available then, but never painkillers for fun, I suppose because I have always had to take painkillers for pain and HATE the feeling they give you. ( well I quite liked morphine but would never take it recreationally as it feels nice when you are in pain btu feels very different when you are not)
But personally I would not accept the 'sorry I have a problem' excuse. After all even if she has, she stole theses painkillers off of you and that shows no respect for you or your situation. If she has a problem she can buy them on the street as everyone else has to or find a doggy doctor who will prescribe them to her directly................ there is no excuse for taking them of of her bf's step mum and his dad.
I do not know about there but here in the UK I beleve if someone without a 'script' for such painkillers is found with them, the person who they were supplied to on a script, can be prosecuted for supplying drugs or misusing prescribed drugs and it is damn hard to prove that you did not sell them, As apparently a lot on theses sorts of painkillers do sell them so they do nto easily accept that you did not sell them to the person who is taking them.
Also I guess over there you pay for your drugs - unlike here - so in effect she is stealing quite a lot off of you both?
I would be mad - I really would.
Sorry about the diarrhea, I get this a lot and hate it , I have not noticed it is related to getting upset but it could be??
I feel very sick this morning - have done since yesterday evening - I get this a lot too.
Hi Snow - it makes everythign so much harder when your car does not work doesn't it?? My radiator burst last week and I spent more than a week without a car and had to get lifts - Bary has a car but I can not drive it because of my injury to my legs I have to drive an automatic - I hate relying on others for transport - I hope you get it fixed soon
I guess it is at least a bit helpful to know how the SB got infected?? What an ass making his current partner try to trace someone he knew to be already dead!! I mean what was the point??
I do not know if we get ' Trading Spaces'? I will look it up on the web I suppose he is handsome in a bald head sort of way!! or was, I am afraid he dose snot look so good at the moment - oh well!!
When I do smoke Betty I roll my own, much cheaper- which I do intermittently, I was smoking most of the week before last but now have not smoked for over 2 weeks. It is one thing I can start and stop easily so do not relaly know why I do it at all. It is usually Barry who starts me off as he keeps smoking even though he has been told it is very bad for him with PCP.
The weather for the UK is great at the moment
We are very lucky that we do not usually get extremes of weather - not too hot and no too cold - but it is early summer now and just so nice when the sun shines.
I hope tende is OK in Zimbabee? I do worry about her, that Mum's enjoying her holiday and and everyone else I have not mentioned is OK?
Veritee XX
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Hi! I've started a new thread. Lets close this one..