Too much of a stress test!

[leatherman]

ugh. after what happened to me last time I posted about a situation like this (taking a partner to the hospital) 16 years ago when things certainly turned out badly, let's hope I'm not jinxing things by starting this thread.

So a couple weeks ago, at our regular doctor visit, my husband Larry talked to our doc about some symptoms (tiredness and sorta like indigestion) and they ran an EKG on him. The results were "irregular" and suggested the leads were reversed. Another EKG was run and came back with different "irregular" result. Two weeks later, Larry saw a heart doctor, who also got a bad result and ordered a stress test.

This morning while I was reading in the waiting room at the cardiologist and Larry was somewhere in the back "stressing", I watched while an EMT team and stretcher came in. Mentally counting through how many patients had gone back and how many came out, I packed my tablet away knowing something was up. Called to the back where the EMTs were, I learned that during the test Larry had experienced a mild heart attack!! Ten minutes afterwards and he was sitting there, while the paramedics began to work, looking red as a beet all over but saying he felt ok.

After following the ambulance to the hospital, I spent the rest of the day beside Larry's bed, while they ran numerous tests. Eventually they performed a heart catheterization which unfortunately found out that Larry had much worse heart problems than just needing a stint. Now either thurs or fri (we should know in the morning), Larry will be having quadruple heart bypass surgery. Not a smoker and in fairly good health (well, except for this heart problem), the prognosis is good. If all goes well, after a week of recovery time in the hospital, he should be able to come home for 3 to 4 months recovering before hopefully being well again and able to go back to work.


I did really good at the hospital, especially since Larry was doing ok. But coming home and having to talk with my mom (whose 3rd husband is currently in a rehab hospital after falling and fracturing his c2 vertebrae while my 3rd husband is in the hospital) reminded us too too much of other times when she and/or I dealt with our previous husbands in the hospital who did not make it home.

So I'm going to go finish up a good cry, watch the POTUS debate (cause that sh!t should be lit!), cry some more, and cuddle up with the dogs in our bed that's going to feel way too big tonight.

I'll update y'all as things progress.

[Tonny2]

                 ojo.          Michael, I’m sorry to hear about Larry’s heart problems, he’s going to be just fine. He we go again with the similitude. our stories, although now is Larry’s story andmine, I also had a snall heart attack the good thing about our heart attacks, we were in the right place, I was in the hospital and Larry was at the clinic. Although I had just one stem but I was used as a guinea pig because there were several “medical students” practicing with me. I am going to be thinking about you two and you will see that everything is going to be OK. Hang in there, we are here for you… Hugs

[harleymc]

Michael I hope Larry makes a full recovery.

Makes sure to get support both for Larry and yourself.

[Jim Allen]

Wishing Larry all the best this week and a speedy recovery.

Hugs.

[Grasshopper]

A speedy recovery for your husband, and don't forget to take care of yourself.

[Leon82]

My best wishes to Larry! Stay strong Leatherman!

xxx

[leatherman]

Since the puppers don't tell time or know what's up, they decided we should get up at our normal time of 5am. that was fine with me especially since Larry called around 530. LOL He just wanted to tell me what I already know - hospitals are terrible places to stay. Oh sure, for the staff is just a daily shift job that they come in to do. Which means, consideration for people still living a normal day shift life often loses out to pills, blood draws, beeping whirring machines and too many lights. Besides that, Larry is just bored today.

However surgery is tomorrow morning. Prep starts at 6, surgery at 9. Doctor report to family? 12-2. depending on how things go.

I've been up there today already but will go back early evening for a bit. I'll be there 530am tomorrow bright and early (well, it'll still be dark but you know what i mean) to see him before everything starts.

Needless to say there's been a lot for me to think about. Unfortunately a lot of my thinking has been about how I've been in this situation before. I have to say no matter how much I love Larry (and it's a lot!), Randy and Jim have been in my mind so much in the last 24 hours. Here I thought I had left those sad times behind, and yet here my thoughts are again. stupid PTSD.

I'm going to do like I've done before, and not talk with Larry about what-if things go badly. Since same sex marriage wasn't an option back when I was with Jim, at some point I had to talk about wills, car titles and property deeds. It wasn't a pretty chat as it forced Jim to face up to what might happen....and what did happen. Because I dropped the issue, I lost the car, power, water and eventually the house a few months later. This time though I have a car in my name, a house we co-signed for, and a marriage license. Thankfully, though it's hard to think about the bad options, I should be able to hold off the negative consequences for a longer time this time in a worst case scenario. Ugh. Being an adult sucks so bad.

Now for the hardest part tomorrow....waiting. Waiting to see if Larry survives or if I lose Larry. Of course, I'm rooting for survival; but you never know and I'll still be here regardless of the outcome. sigh.

[Tonny2]

                 ojo.           @leatherman… Larry is going to be OK. I am going to be thinking about you tomorrow. Hang in there… Hugs

[Jim Allen]

Sending you both hugs and good luck today.

[Tonny2]

                ojo.             Positive energies on your way… hugs

[leatherman]

The doctor just came out to tell me that Larry got through the surgery well. While the next few hrs. are still critical, I'm so relieved that I didn't lose him. I'll update more later since I can't see him for another half an hour or so.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers. Now onward to recovery....the hard part.

[Jim Allen]

Glad to hear the surgery went well for Larry. Hugs

[leatherman]

the doctors all said the surgery went extremely well with zero issues. I got to see Larry for about 15 mins. ugh. so many tubes and wires! They're warming him up still after the surgery, so he was still unconscious and intubated. It's 230 pm here now, so I'm going to skip the 4-6 visiting hours, go home, feed the dogs, maybe cry a little more, and then go back for the 8-9pm visiting hours and see how he's doing.

I had my mom, best friend and his mom with me waiting this morning. By the time we got to see Larry though my mom and friend had to go to their own appts. So I'm going to grab my mom on the way back tonight so she can see her son-in-law is still in the land of the living. Hopefully Larry's mom is going to come out from Arizona in a few weeks to stay with us for a while.

Right now, I've got to put my phone on the charger! It's been eating up the power calling Larry's mom, and texting all our scattered friends and family, along with his co-workers (and adding some posts here) these past two or three busy days.

I know Larry isn't out of the woods now by any stretch; but I so relieved I haven't lost my third husband. While I lost Randy and Jim after 10 years each, I've been doing really well with this husband. We've had this little set back; but I've kept him alive 12 years so far, so I'm really trying hard to get a few more years out of this husband. LOL <3

[Jim Allen]

Excellent to hear that it went well with zero issues.

There must have been some relief hearing the result of the surgery but obviously, you are still worried sick, but do try to look after yourself and get some rest. Sending you good thoughts and wishes.

so he was still unconscious

If it had been for something less serious, I would have suggested getting a makeup artist to age you by 10 years so that when he wakes up you can tell him it's 2034 and Trump's clone is now running the country.

[Tonny2]

                ojo.             I’m glad the surgery went ok, now get some rest and get ready for his recovery…hugs for both of you.


@JimAllen, I love your sense of humor

[leatherman]

If it had been for something less serious, I would have suggested getting a makeup artist to age you by 10 years so that when he wakes up you can tell him it's 2034 and Trump's clone is now running the country.

OMG LOL
when he's healthy enough for a good belly laugh, I'm going to tell him you suggested that.

I've been trying to keep our HIV/GP doctor apprised of what's going on and thought of something. They say PLHIV live longer, healthier lives because of the medical care we receive and this is certainly an example of that. Our doctor asked the right questions, did the right tests, and made the right referrals.

Having a heart attack at the cardiologist office is probably next best to having one in the ER, and Larry wouldn't have been doing a stress test if our doctor hadn't listened and followed through. Thankfully the actions he and we took kept that heart attack from happening at work and perhaps being fatal.

Since the ICU only has limited visiting periods during the day, I should stop by the grocery store in one of my trips to and fro. When Randy was in the hospital I made brownies. I did muffins when Jim was in the hospital. I learned the best way to ensure good care for my partners was to always be friendly with ALL the staff......and bring them treats!! Maybe I'll do some Fall or early Halloween iced cut out cookies. (Like christmas cookies with dark colored icing!)

ugh. stupid adult thoughts I'm having while happy with the outcome so far. Larry still isn't out of the woods, so every message I send to everyone, including the post here, I reread and overthink about how to word things so that if everything goes wrong, I'm not jumping the gun and saying something that I might feel bad about later. I did some of that in my posts about Jim. I blame my brain and the PTSD (oh, and this new trauma) for thinking like that.

[leatherman]

back and forth, back and forth. between home and the hospital.
Thankfully, the hospital is about 10 miles away and I can drive 60mph about 8 of those miles. While living in a small town with a hospital in a nearby city is a lot of driving, it's a lot less stressful than driving 10 miles up in the big city.

In the late afternoon visiting hours in ICU yesterday, I found Larry, not in the bed, but sitting up in a chair. Which is a good step forward. However, he was having a lot of pain. The nurse said well, when they slice you open, crack your ribcage and reach in and touch your heart, there's going to be some pain. LOL The nurses here have been really proficient, caring, busy and funny. By the time, I left Larry was stoned and not really feeling much pain. ROFLMAO

This morning when I went back, he was back sitting in the chair AND he looked so much better, felt better, and 2/3 of all those IV racks were gone. Both he and I even got 7 hours of sleep last night. Oddly enough the SAME 7 hours. LOL He's doing so well, he finally got some real food....well as real as cold hospital-scrambled eggs can be. LOL The doctor is very pleased with his entire progress so far. This afternoon they'll be taking away another IV spot (Lord! there have been like four major IV spots with about a dozen IV bags dripping in him). They also plan to remove all the drainage tubes (yuck). By the time I get back this late afternoon, I might just find him walking the halls for the first time. The plan is to get him back to a regular bed upstairs tomorrow. WooHoo!

my stupid brain isn't as pessimistic today. Yeah!

Even if that damn realist in my brain does mention we're still not out of the woods. It's also pointed out that I will probably feel worried for months about his health. But at least I have more time to worry about him. <3

[Tonny2]

                  Ojo.              I’m happy for you two Michael and Larry. If he is in pain it means he is alive, my brother would say to me every time that I complain of pain. And like the nurse said, he just went through a very invasive surgery, that’s why I thought to myself when you said that the worst part was the recovery part. But anyway, I’m glad that he is doing, so well that he is sitting down and I’m sure he’s gonna be working pretty soon and he’s going to be staying home fast, nowadays I guess circuitries are becoming different than the old days. My 96 years old uncle after his hip replacement surgery, The doctor order to start rehabilitation the day after the surgery so my uncle was walking the day after his hip surgery… Again, I’m glad that Larry is doing better and remember my friend Leatherman, now that we are positive. We have to be more positive about everything… Hugs for both of you.


Ps. i’m sorry for the typos

[leatherman]

my Grandmother had one hip replaced at 96 and the other one at 98. they had her up and walking the next day too.

as predicted Larry was up and walking this afternoon. Moving out of ICU is still on the schedule for tomorrow. WooHoo!

[Jim Allen]

as predicted Larry was up and walking this afternoon. Moving out of ICU is still on the schedule for tomorrow. WooHoo!

Glad to hear Larry is recovering and doing well. 

[Grasshopper]

Good news, thumbs up

[leatherman]

All the IVs were removed along with all the tubes and even wires! He's still in ICU but next to go upstairs to a regular room as soon as one opens up. 

Unfortunately, my mom's situation isn't going as well as things are going for Larry and me right now. They're up to month 2 of her husband being "hospitalized" in a rehab/nursing home after fracturing a rib and his C2 vertebra. This facility hasn't been getting him up enough, or keeping him socialized. Friday, my mom found out the facility didn't even do the paperwork in time and his insurance has canceled paying any more time come Monday morning.

To top all that off, they treated some congestion he developed with an antihistamine which must have been an overdose, as we could hardly get him to wake up yesterday. He slept through lunch and mom almost wasn't able to keep him fully awake to eat dinner. Mom is working with a patient advocate to try to get him into a better facility that will do enough physical therapy to get him home.

My poor mom is about to go crazy with worry. I remember what month #2 was like when Jim was in the hospital. As bad as it is for the patient it's incredibly hard for the family caregiver. Luckily her house is near the hospital so I swing by between my morning and afternoon ICU visits to Larry, to help her as much as I can...even if it's just stopping by to visit her husband for a bit since his facility is near the hospital too.

[leatherman]

being around the hospital so much has certainly been an experience. Today Larry and I were talking about the oddest part of this situation that we've both experienced.

First, a short bit of background that all the LGBTQ folks here will understand. Sure, all our CIS allies here are going to understand to an extent; but you simply don't have to live it daily. Calling Larry my "husband" in public is something that doesn't happen a lot. It's not even because we live in a small town in redneck South Carolina. It's because the world is filled with homophobic bigoted people - and they look just like anyone else, so you never know who's going to flip out on you.

But at the hospital, we've both had to say "my husband" a lot. Needless to say, we half-mumbled that affirmation when we'd had to explain who we are, why I want to visit, and who's allowed to hear about his medical issues.

The weirdest thing is that no has batted at eye at our admission. None of the nurses, doctors, or even the old white cis dude manning reception. I guess they see all kinds of people and have their priorities right. Yea for diversity training!

I've been pleasantly pleased by even the other families sitting in the ICU waiting room waiting along side me for the next period of limited visiting hours scattered throughout the day. I've even been told what a loving husband I am and that I'm very sweet. Well, of course I am. That's who I am. Surprise, surprise straight people. Gay people can be as just as loving and committed as anyone else. I'm just betting that most of those straight women wish their husbands were as great as me. LOL But I guess I shouldn't be mean and let myself slip into heterophobia. I should just be glad people are improving. Thank goodness!

I'm getting used now to claiming Larry as my husband, out loud, where just anyone can hear. It's very liberating!

[leatherman]

A little bit before I was going to head to the hospital for the 4-6 ICU visiting hours I got a call from Larry. His doctor wanted to know if I wanted him back home early. Hell Yes!! Because he was doing so well, his doctor wanted him out of the ICU. Because he was already recovering so well and since he had been stuck in the ICU an extra day because they didn't have an open bed for him upstairs, the doctor said that Larry could just come home and recover!!

[Tonny2]

          ojo.         Great news, my friend. I’m glad that everything is going well…… My best to Larry and hugs for  both of you

[Jim Allen]

Really good news, I saw the picture on Facebook, and Larry looks so pleased about having his picture taken 

[leatherman]

Larry looks so pleased about having his picture taken 

LOL.
I told him I wanted to take a picture of him at home. I told him to  smile.
he didn't want a picture taken. he didn't smile.

But he's back home 4 days after quadruple bypass and 6 days since that stupid stress test and heart attack. He can glare or smirk or be irritated all he wants while I take a picture. He's not dead and he's back home. I couldn't be happier!     

[leatherman]

So Helene came through on her way to the NC mountains. While we only have 1-2 ft branches littering our yard, trees are down all over the place. Because of that my little town of 10K+ has been without power for 2 days now! The roads between here and Charlotte are jammed with people from a bunch of small SC town trying to find some places to eat and sleep. Luck for us some friends who we helped out a few months ago when lightning struck nearby and killed their freezer, have a new freezer and took several coolers worth of food to store for us.

My mom lives about 15 mins from us in the next city over and has power, so we've crashed at her place for a while. But what a tricky situation....dealing with all the stuff in the refrigerator and separate freezer; loading up clothes, meds, etc for a couple of days; dealing with our doggies tripping about everything being weird; and helping Larry who's doing ok; but really worn out by all this.

Supposedly, our power may be back on around 8pm tonight; but I'm not holding my breath. LOL

[J.R.E.]

I was wondering  how you guys were coping  with the storm. We lost power Thursday  night when the worst of  it  came through here at tampa bay . Got it back on, 10 Friday  morning. am going  to be brief, cause I'm typing on my phone. We have no internet or cable. The rapid brownouts, fried the main fios box. Working  currently with the free data given to all att customers until Oct 27. For people in the southeast.

You guys ha e  we through a lot, certa8nly didn't need this  storm.

Stay safe....Ray

[leatherman]

Even though I really love the beach, I'm certainly happier to be outside Charlotte than back in Pensacola. I remember hanging out in the dorm stairwell a couple of times through hurricanes back in my college days. (Hiding from the wrath of God like that at a baptist college always struck me as crazy. LOL)

We had friends here (the ones with the freezer space) who had power all this time but no internet. Not even any hotspot connections.

I was right not holding my breath. The power did finally come on, but not till after midnight last night. So we got back home this morning. Luckily the trip was pretty good too. All the traffic lights were back on. most had been out and the intersections out here in the country are usually busy crossings....and clearly no one remembers from drivers ed that when the traffic lights are out, the intersection should be considered like a 4way stop. The trees that had fallen in the highway had been cleaned up. And there wasn't so much traffic. When your town of 10k has no power, everyone hits the roads to shop, eat, get gas, and go stay with other people. The roads between here and the next town (which mostly had power) were jammed.

All my refrigerator food that I took to Mom's is back in the frig. Later today, we're going to go get our freezer stuff back at a birthday party for our friend. Larry is napping until then. He says he's doing ok; but all the upheaval in eating times and not being home has taken some toll. He's still doing great in the big picture; but these couple of days was a struggle for him.

[leatherman]

Larry's first follow-up doctor appt is Wednesday. I think the news should be all good; but that just means a new set of worries for me...well, us. As he starts to regain strength and build up his newly rejuvenated heart, I think we're both going to be scared that "something" might happen again.

BTW, as usual, I have another story.

The Lowes where Larry works recently changed some procedures, so the people setting up the shelves, merchandise and restocking (Larry's job) were assigned a specific area. Larry's area has been plumbing. A week after Larry had his heart attack, the lady who is the regular employee in the plumbing section had a heart attack!!! The surgeon was able to put a stint in and she should be returning to work this week.

Needless to say we have warned our other friend who assists in plumbing to just let that area go! That area is cursed and two heart attacks have been two too many. 

[numbersguy82]

Glad to hear you and Larry weathered the storm successfully. I’m glad he’s well on the mend, and yes I agree, if I worked in plumbing I may just quit as well 😅

[leatherman]

if I worked in plumbing I may just quit as well 😅

LOL
Having just bought a 75 year old home 6 years ago, Larry's job at Lowe's has been quite handy. 15% employee discount, along with first crack at clearance items .... with 75% employee discount! I repaired a lot of stuff (why yes, I'm not just a pretty face w/ skillz in the bedroom , I've got handyman skillz too! I'm the whole package. LOL) and we've upgraded a lot of appliances.

We upgraded all our furniture through estate sales.

[Tonny2]

               ojo.          I wish I could find a pretty face and handyman or at least a millionaire to hire someone to do everything with n the house even cooking, I even burn the water when I’ cooking… my best to Larry

[leatherman]

an update:

the good news:
Larry is doing a little better every few days and having more good days than bad. Saw the surgeon for the final follow-up and he was very pleased with Larry's progress. WooHoo!

the bad news:
there was a stack of 6 medical bills in the mailbox yesterday and Larry's first insurance disability paycheck came through. a lot of bills and only half the income. ouch!

[Grasshopper]

 Auwch

[Jim Allen]

an update:

the good news:
Larry is doing a little better every few days and having more good days than bad. Saw the surgeon for the final follow-up and he was very pleased with Larry's progress. WooHoo!

the bad news:
there was a stack of 6 medical bills in the mailbox yesterday and Larry's first insurance disability paycheck came through. a lot of bills and only half the income. ouch!

Really glad to hear Larry is doing so well. Sorry to hear about the bills