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Author Topic: Pretty anxious  (Read 2221 times)

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Offline Anonymous71232

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Pretty anxious
« on: November 15, 2017, 09:50:57 am »
Okay here goes:

I had protected sex with a girl I met off of tinder and due to a lack of sexual activity I was very arroused and didn't ask her status until we were already having intercourse. Me asking ruined the mood apparently but she did give me an exasperated "yeah of course" to my question of whether she has was clean and had been tested.

The condom didn't break either as far as I can tell.

I took a shower immediately afterwards but on my way out of her place I remembered that I had some abrasions in my groin area, none of which were openly bleeding but seemed to have been irritated by the sexual activity. My key area of concern is the vaginal fluids coming into contact with any of the abrasions in my groin area and the potential transmission of the virus to me if she had it.

I have a history of health anxiety and it kicked in the moment I made that realization and I immediately went to the ER and spoke to a doctor. I showed the doctor my abrasions on my inner thigh and he said he didn't feel as though I had any risk from this encounter. But I feel like I may have neglected to show my sensitive skin on my groin which I had forgotten about and noticed later, again no large bleeding cuts but is that completely necessary?

I am familiar with the fragility of the HIV virus and can appreciate that it requires direct blood access but is it possible that the friction of her as she was on top of me and as such essentially on the abrasions could expose me to the virus?

Also I'm having a bit of a hard time sorting some of the different advice on the viruses ability to survive outside the body. Some sources say that the virus can last minutes, others say seconds and some sources say considerably longer.

I've tried to get in touch with the tinder girl but she isn't responding to me, mind you it may just be an unwillingness to speak to me because she doesn't want to but part of me, the anxious part, is saying that maybe she has some thing to hide?

She did somethings which lead me to believe she plays it safe, she didn't perform a blow job on me when I asked in my aroused haze and she requested I bring protection, which I would have anyways.

I need some perspective on this and maybe a bit of clarification on all the conflicting data with regard to the fragility of the virus and transmission via cuts/abrasions.

I've been essentially been having a mild to serious panic attack since the encounter 5 days ago.

I know I need to get tested for other stds but I can't shake this feeling that my life is over and that I made a terrible mistake. No offense meant to anyone, I'm just a wreck and it's hard not to catastrophise (is that even a word?) it.

Offline Wade

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Re: Pretty anxious
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2017, 10:11:21 am »
Hi

Nothing you described was risk for HIV. Your intercourse was protected which is how the virus is sexually transmitted, so no risk there.

As for the friction/irritation...no risk whatsoever. The virus is very fragile and is not infectious once outside the body and exposed to the environment.

I will not comment on what you have read on other sites and can tell you right now no matter how you reword your question my answer will not change.

I agree with your doctor and you need to put this behind you and move on.

Best,

Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
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Offline Anonymous71232

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Re: Pretty anxious
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2017, 02:22:09 am »
Hi Wade,

Thanks for the reply.

I understand and appreciate your response.

Responses like these are keeping me calm as I wait for the the testing window to pass.

I know you feel their was no risk but my anxiety will require me to be tested to provide confirmation.

I know the power anxiety has on the body and it's ability to create symptoms so I'm just doing my best to ride this out and hope everything turns out okay.

Thank you again for your response.

Offline Wade

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Re: Pretty anxious
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2017, 07:38:51 am »
If what you posted were your only concerns you can expect a negative result because you had absolutely no risk.

Best,

Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

Offline Anonymous71232

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Re: Pretty anxious
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2017, 05:30:55 pm »
Hi Wade,

Yes the concerns I posted here are my only potential exposures.

Mind you I did finger her but my skin was intact and it's not something I'm concerned about.

I'm hoping everything is as expected as well.

Mind you I did find an enlarged superclavical lymph node which has me concerned about other things but from what I do understand that's not an HIV symptom but rather a more localized thing. Is that accurate?

I showed it to a doctor his initial response is an infection, going to take antibiotics and see how it goes.

Essentially I have zero control over how the dice roll so I'm just going try and roll with things until I can calm down completely. I know the odds are significantly in my favor which is something that helps keep me calm.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Pretty anxious
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2017, 05:36:58 pm »
Hi

Look as wade posted nothing you mentioned here met the biological needs for HIV transmission, so if you ever are infected with HIV (Please don't be, prevent it) it was not from this incident.  You had absolutely no risk from what you posted here.

Fingering is also not a concern, nobody has ever been infected in this manner and you are not going to be a worlds first.

Quote
Essentially I have zero control over how the dice roll

Wrong, prevention is fully up to you, condoms, prep and finally pep when/if a condom fails.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 05:39:45 pm by JimDublin »
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