POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: scaredhusband on August 21, 2011, 11:33:21 pm
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Hi everyone my husband tested poz last week . I took him to the ER for an allergic reaction to something while we were in the ER the dr did blood work and told us he tested poz for HIV. We were beside ourselves filled with questions on how can this be we have remained monogamous from day one and we are now together over 2 1/2 years and married just this past may. After 4 days in the hospital we learned the thee confirmatory test was poz as well. After the dr discharged him we drove over to the ID dr office and i got tested. I tested neg and this blew my mind. I did have unprotected sex with my husband 2 weeks ago so i am going back in 4 weeks to test again. We are finding this to be very challenging but we love eachother deeply and we will make it through. Please if anyone has had something like this happen please reach out to me. I sometimes get angry at my husband because of this is that normal?
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Sorry to hear you and your husband are going through this. Of course, it's entirely possible that he was infected previous to your 2.5 year marriage, so getting angry serves no purpose in that respect. Hopefully your next testing will prove you're conclusively negative and you can move on and support your husband through this.
At the end of the day, with modern treatment, it's not the end of the world, but it does take a certain amount of effort, regular monitoring, etc.
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Yes its normal.
I tested positive about 2 1/2 years into my relationshio with my partner. I have been completely monogamous during our entire relationship. He also has tested negative. It was confusin for us also. How could he be negative after 2 1/2 years of unprotected sex? It is definately possible that he was infected prior to your relationship.
One thing that helped both he and I was he accompanied me to my doctors visists in the begining and he also went to see his doctor on his own. Its scary, but it is something that you can make it through. I'm sorry this has heppened.
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Hello
I can relate and understand what you are going through. My hubby is HIV+ and Im HIV-. We were married 4 years when hubby started losing a lot of weight and was tired all the time. Went to the dr. and after blood tests it was confirmed he was HIV+. I tested negative. The Dr. thinks he was infected before we ever got together. We had used condoms for birth control, but they were times we didnt. I just knew I would be HIV+ as well but I wasnt. Its been 5 yrs and I get tested once a year. We use condoms with plenty of lube EVERY time we have sex.
I highly recommend you read the lessons here, if you havent already. Have your hubby read them too. They are located in the gray bar ( About HIV, Prevention, and News). I know it really helped us.
I think getting angry is normal. I know I did. A lot of things kept going through my mind. If he had only used a condom...we wouldnt be in this situation. I totally lost it one day and threw a lot of things....broke some things...cried...screamed...just had a total meltdown. Thank heavens I was home alone when that happened. I wrote about it here and a dear member here told me who did I think I was ..a superwoman. To let it out....clean up my mess...and get on with living. And I did. IT wasnt no picnic. The first yr or so was pretty trying, but it does get better. I learned all I could about HIV. The first 3 yrs I went to every dr appointment with him. Now I only go once a year with him and thats when I get tested.
Hugs
Teresa
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Sorry to hear you and your husband are going through this. Of course, it's entirely possible that he was infected previous to your 2.5 year marriage, so getting angry serves no purpose in that respect. Hopefully your next testing will prove you're conclusively negative and you can move on and support your husband through this.
At the end of the day, with modern treatment, it's not the end of the world, but it does take a certain amount of effort, regular monitoring, etc.
Thank you we have an apt on wens with ID DR and he will be started on meds.