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Author Topic: Being ignored  (Read 20975 times)

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Offline wolfter

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Being ignored
« on: February 07, 2011, 06:38:20 pm »
What am I doing wrong?  There are several people in this forum whom I really enjoy and I notice they have so many ignores on their profile.  I just checked mine and I have zero, I'm an asshole and deserve the same disrespect as anyone else.     :'(
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2011, 06:44:47 pm »
What am I doing wrong?  There are several people in this forum whom I really enjoy and I notice they have so many ignores on their profile.  I just checked mine and I have zero, I'm an asshole and deserve the same disrespect as anyone else.     :'(

I tend to speak my mind which is not necessarily always in stride with popular opinion here.  I do so fairly matter of factly and it tends to piss people off.  Story of my life, some people love me and some people hate me.  If you really want to ruffle some feathers just post some really strong religious or political view and you're just bound to get ignored by someone.

Offline wolfter

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2011, 06:57:26 pm »
I have always found your comments within reason of what we're dealing with.  I don't always agree but I hope everybody doesn't agree with my views.  I'm a newbie in the sense that I only joined this forum recently.  I wish I didn't have the badge that I own of being a LTS, but that's my reality. 

Everybody here adds something to my situation.  I never needed the chaos until recently.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2011, 07:26:54 pm »
post some really strong religious or political view and you're just bound to get ignored by someone.

The heads who have you on ignore didn't place you there coz you pissed them off with your political (and/or racial) or religious views.  You have been placed there cause these lamers believe that you are part of the evil cabal.

I don't give a damn as far as being ignored goes.  I know who three of my "ignorers" are because they have said it so: Hoover (whom I couldn't care for any less --and who thinks that ignoring people gives him some sort of power), Tommy (whom I didn't dislike, but who has been banned ever since he went off the deep end), and WTFimpoz (another one that I don't particularly dislike, even though he tends to be a bit disrespectful towards LTS members --and who has also been absent for a while).

I have always said it, the ignore function is for delicate pansies and lamers.  If you don't like someone's views or personality you can simply skip their posts and move on.  At any rate, those who supposedly ignore other members tend to peek by either "unignoring" them every once in a while or by reading the forums while not logged in. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2011, 07:29:31 pm »
The heads who have you on ignore didn't place you there coz you pissed them off with your political (and/or racial) or religious views.  You have been placed there cause these lamers believe that you are part of the evil cabal.

Have they copied our membership lists?  I mean how did they figure me out?  Was it the cabalist regalia that I wear at the social functions?

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2011, 08:04:32 pm »
Have they copied our membership lists?  I mean how did they figure me out?  Was it the cabalist regalia that I wear at the social functions?

I have my own conspiracy theory.  A certain member (or members) out there, who shall remain nameless, sends unsolicited PMs to other members (especially new ones) with a "black list" of who is who around here.  These people who get the PMs turn around and place the others on ignore.  But I am more than likely just being paranoid.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2011, 08:08:39 pm »
I have my own conspiracy theory.  A certain member (or members) out there, who shall remain nameless, sends unsolicited PMs to other members (especially new ones) with a "black list" of who is who around here.  These people who get the PMs turn around and place the others on ignore.  But I am more than likely just being paranoid.

I actually had kind of independently come to the same conclusion.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2011, 08:52:55 pm »
I wish someone had me on ignore -- I feel neglected.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2011, 08:53:37 pm »
I wish someone had me on ignore -- I feel neglected.

You are drowning in ignorers.  I'm so jealous.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2011, 09:02:15 pm »
I would suspect that most people who actually use the ignore function probably read the posts anyhow w/o logging on.  As the Reverend puts it quit succinctly "I don't give a damn as far as being ignored goes".  While I do try to be somewhat diplomatic in my posts, I dont expect folks to concur with my views or responses all the time.  

Provocative exchanges will always occur and quite frankly some people just cant handle them.  As long as its not a personal attack (i.e., racist, sexist, or just plain being mean) I like to think any response that may challenge my point of view is welcome.  I am the first to admit when a reality check is needed when a post of mine may be off the mark.  Oh well...doubt I will ever use the 'iggy' button on here.      



Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2011, 09:06:58 pm »
You are drowning in ignorers.  I'm so jealous.

Yea... seems like you have only pissed off 5 people. 

Offline komnaes

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2011, 10:18:40 pm »
I may be wrong but I am very sure that one can still read all the threads when one is logged off. The ignore thingie only works when one is logged on. And from what I have read those that claim to have ignored folks are frequently aware of what the "ignoreds" are posting anyway. So, it seems the ignore thing is nothing more than passive-aggressiveness on the part of the "ignorings", methink.

(edited for typos)
« Last Edit: February 07, 2011, 10:40:23 pm by komnaes »
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2011, 10:29:38 pm »
I'm still pure as the driven snow with zero ignorers  ;D

Kumbaya

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2011, 10:31:16 pm »
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2011, 10:38:10 pm »
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #15 on: February 07, 2011, 10:49:01 pm »
I may be wrong but I am very sure that one can still read all the threads when one is logged off. The ignore thingie only works when one is logged on. And from what I have read those that claim to have ignored folks are frequently aware of what the "ignoreds" are posting anyway. So, it seems the ignore thing is nothing more than passive-aggressiveness on the part of the "ignorings", methink.

(edited for typos)

Yer quite right in every respect, Shaunster.  The ignore function is user based, not IP address based.  Once these heads log off they get to see what those whom they despise so much are saying.   I have always found it quite surprising that these peeps go around saying "ah gots u on ignurr, na na na" and yet they are fully aware of what the "ignorees" just stated.  It is quite laughable and childish IMO.


Hopeforacure and Willemina, the two of you are way nice; nobody in this here joint would dare hit that button on you.  It is reserved for us jaded gals (or, as someone once called us, the seven bitter queens).
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline denb45

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2011, 10:49:54 pm »
Well anyone that uses that ignored button, really has some issues, and don't seem to know how to relate with others, I have 4 people who have me on ignore, and I know just who there are, so whatever issues they may have with me, I'm not losing any sleep over it  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2011, 10:58:41 pm »

Hopeforacure and Willemina, the two of you are way nice; nobody in this here joint would dare hit that button on you. 

Well I dunno bout all that, I thought for sure my Bush leaning, pro gun, anti abortion, Israel loving, beef eating posts might have garnered at least 1 ignore.

Apparently you gotta burn down a house around here to get ignored. Or, yes, be one of the "Seven Bitter Queerns."

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2011, 11:04:50 pm »
Well I dunno bout all that, I thought for sure my Bush leaning, pro gun, anti abortion, Israel loving, beef eating posts might have garnered at least 1 ignore.

Yikes. I agree.  At least for the love for that fetid bush and the antiabortion bits.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline woodshere

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #19 on: February 07, 2011, 11:06:20 pm »
Well I dunno bout all that, I thought for sure my Bush leaning, pro gun, anti abortion, Israel loving, beef eating posts might have garnered at least 1 ignore.

Well you do now.... :) :) :) :)
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline leatherman

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #20 on: February 07, 2011, 11:11:28 pm »
I have 4 people who have me on ignore, and I know just who there are
there are a couple people who I wish would put me on ignore, LOL
but so far only one person has put me on ignore (a couple yrs ago I think),
and I've never known who they are.
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2011, 11:13:10 pm »
Well I dunno bout all that, I thought for sure my Bush leaning, pro gun, anti abortion, Israel loving, beef eating posts might have garnered at least 1 ignore.

Apparently you gotta burn down a house around here to get ignored. Or, yes, be one of the "Seven Bitter Queerns."

-Will

Don't tempt me.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #22 on: February 07, 2011, 11:14:16 pm »
Don't tempt me.

Oh pleaze. you love me.

POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #23 on: February 07, 2011, 11:15:20 pm »
Oh pleaze. you love me.



I love me, you I tolerate.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2011, 11:19:16 pm »
Because of this thread some new head out there thought that they're cute and added me to his/her ignore list.  Wow, they are like so kewliez and stuff.

I'm gonna go cut my veins open now. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline poz1970

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #25 on: February 07, 2011, 11:21:32 pm »
how does one determine how many people are ignoring them?

J
"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to  heterosexuals. That doesn`t mean that God doesn`t love heterosexuals. It`s just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavne

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #26 on: February 07, 2011, 11:28:03 pm »
there are a couple people who I wish would put me on ignore, LOL
but so far only one person has put me on ignore (a couple yrs ago I think),
and I've never known who they are.

Hun, putting you on ignore is like trying to look away from a car accident.  Ain't happenin'!
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #27 on: February 07, 2011, 11:33:19 pm »
how does one determine how many people are ignoring them?

J

Poz1970, all you haft do is take a look at your own profile; it is right under the "last active" field.  In your case you don't have anyone ignoring you.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #28 on: February 07, 2011, 11:37:57 pm »
I am fairly pure - only have three people ignoring me -
I think one is tommy - who is no longer around (a casualty of the ban ham)
the other is mecch - who told me in such an oh so delicious way that he was putting me on ignore.

I haven't missed one Atripla dream over any of my ignores -

I have never used the iggy button on anyone - and don't plan to - because even though I may not agree with all opinions or posts of someone - and may not even care for a person's virtual personality - that doesn't mean that he/she may not someday say something that I might find useful.

September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #29 on: February 07, 2011, 11:39:19 pm »
Have they copied our membership lists?  I mean how did they figure me out?  Was it the cabalist regalia that I wear at the social functions?
 

Honey you wish you were in the (or a) cabal.

Offline Joe K

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #30 on: February 07, 2011, 11:44:06 pm »
Last I checked I had 6 and I have no idea who they may be, nor do I care. This sandbox is for the big folks and if you feel you need an ignore feature to protect you, then maybe you should move to the kids sandbox, until you grow a pair.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #31 on: February 08, 2011, 12:00:44 am »


   I think the people who have me on ignore got banned shortly after.... it's like I have some kind of secret power that I have no control over. 
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Joe K

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #32 on: February 08, 2011, 12:07:27 am »
I have my own conspiracy theory.  A certain member (or members) out there, who shall remain nameless, sends unsolicited PMs to other members (especially new ones) with a "black list" of who is who around here.  These people who get the PMs turn around and place the others on ignore.  But I am more than likely just being paranoid.

You are not being paranoid if they really are out to get you. I can think of a couple of members who are capable of doing this.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #33 on: February 08, 2011, 12:16:01 am »
Honey you wish you were in the (or a) cabal.

You keep talking and I keep not giving a damn.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #34 on: February 08, 2011, 12:19:33 am »
Hun, putting you on ignore is like trying to look away from a car accident.  Ain't happenin'!
I know!  ;D flipped upside down with my wheels spinning!

that's why that one person ignoring me intrigues and disturbs me ;)
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #35 on: February 08, 2011, 12:22:11 am »
In the future , everyone will be ignored for 15 minutes .
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #36 on: February 08, 2011, 08:01:40 am »
In the future , everyone will be ignored for 15 minutes .

That is absolutely priceless.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #37 on: February 08, 2011, 08:13:04 am »
You keep talking and I keep not giving a damn.

Sure you do mary or you wouldn't have responded. Never cabalicious, just the girl who took her cousin to the prom.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #38 on: February 08, 2011, 10:16:42 am »
This thread regarding the "ignored by" counter in members' profiles -- and others like it -- have consistently made the moderators wince, as they often don't end well. I've modified the SMF template to remove this feature. Sorry guys, but this wasn't proving to be one of the more useful SMF upgrades.

Tim

Offline denb45

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #39 on: February 08, 2011, 10:37:43 am »
This thread regarding the "ignored by" counter in members' profiles -- and others like it -- have consistently made the moderators wince, as they often don't end well. I've modified the SMF template to remove this feature. Sorry guys, but this wasn't proving to be one of the more useful SMF upgrades.

Tim

THANK YOU TIM,  I really couldn't understand WHY it was there in the 1st place, and it really didn't serve much of a purpose, it only made things WORSE and didn't resolve anything at all, that feature kinda perpetuated very bad behavior in whoever used this feature, I for one, I'm glad it's GONE....
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #40 on: February 08, 2011, 10:42:10 am »
I never understood why it was there in the first place.  Just another attempt to ruin my reputation.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #41 on: February 08, 2011, 10:44:42 am »
Thank you Tim.  Good decision on your part. 


I never understood why it was there in the first place.  Just another attempt to ruin my reputation.

That was actually funny.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline denb45

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #42 on: February 08, 2011, 10:46:05 am »
I never understood why it was there in the first place.  Just another attempt to ruin my reputation.

Miss P, most all of our reputations have already been ruined in one way or another  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #43 on: February 08, 2011, 03:47:25 pm »
This thread regarding the "ignored by" counter in members' profiles -- and others like it -- have consistently made the moderators wince, as they often don't end well. I've modified the SMF template to remove this feature. Sorry guys, but this wasn't proving to be one of the more useful SMF upgrades.

Tim

A wise decision I think. My list of ignorants was declining, down from 23 to 17 when last I checked. My reputation for being "a bit of a prick, really" was in jeopardy.

So ta fanx Tim! :)

MtD

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #44 on: February 08, 2011, 06:07:45 pm »
I never needed the chaos until recently.
Please explain.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #45 on: February 08, 2011, 06:10:18 pm »
Oh lookie everyone's back.  :o
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #46 on: February 08, 2011, 07:22:02 pm »
Just a quick update...

Today's changes to the SMF template code wasn't exactly cut and dry and I ended up removing the ignore function entirely. To make a long story short, the coding for both the ignore function and the "ignored by" profile function are intertwined and I wasn't having much luck separating one from the other. In other words, there's currently no ignore function in the Forums -- those of you who have been keen on using it will now get to see what you've been missing.

We're actually going to be switching to a new server soon, where we'll likely have much more consistent service (and better customer support), over the next few week. In addition, we're going to attempt an upgrade to SMF v. 2.0, which should provide me and the other admins a bit more configuration flexibility without having to screw around with template coding.

Will keep everyone in the loop,

Tim    
« Last Edit: February 08, 2011, 07:25:36 pm by Tim Horn »

Offline leatherman

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #47 on: February 08, 2011, 07:44:10 pm »
switching to a new server soon, where we'll likely have much more consistent service (and better customer support), over the next few week. In addition, we're going to attempt an upgrade to SMF v. 2.0, which should provide me and the other admins a bit more configuration flexibility without having to screw around with template coding.
make sure to find out where the spell check dictionary is ;) thanks!

edited to add:
oh, and what's with the little IP icon over there on the right? I don't remember that
« Last Edit: February 08, 2011, 07:45:50 pm by leatherman »
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #48 on: February 08, 2011, 08:06:31 pm »
I thought the ignore option prevented useless animosity and kept dead relationships done and dusted.
As a bonus, doesn't it lighten the load on moderators - less conflict, less to moderate?   Moderators encouraged me to use it and first I hesitated but finally used it and appreciated the safer feeling.   So why is it bad?
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #49 on: February 08, 2011, 08:14:09 pm »
I thought the ignore option prevented useless animosity and kept dead relationships done and dusted.
As a bonus, doesn't it lighten the load on moderators - less conflict, less to moderate?   Moderators encouraged me to use it and first I hesitated but finally used it and appreciated the safer feeling.   So why is it bad?

You'll just have to tough it out until the upgrade, Heidi.

MtD

Offline denb45

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #50 on: February 08, 2011, 09:29:09 pm »
I thought the ignore option prevented useless animosity and kept dead relationships done and dusted.
As a bonus, doesn't it lighten the load on moderators - less conflict, less to moderate?   Moderators encouraged me to use it and first I hesitated but finally used it and appreciated the safer feeling.   So why is it bad?

I've NEVER used it before, I always thought it was kinda childish, and it really didn't say much for the people who did happen to use it..I mean come on, this isn't grade school, and were NOT in an episode of GLEE, were all mature adults aren't we, and very capable of having a civil discussion, well at least some of us.......
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #51 on: February 08, 2011, 09:33:30 pm »
I thought the ignore option prevented useless animosity and kept dead relationships done and dusted.

I disagree.  Just think of those people (I won't name any names --you are not one of them though) who constantly and immaturely flaunt their use of this function in an attempt to belittle others.  

As a bonus, doesn't it lighten the load on moderators - less conflict, less to moderate?   Moderators encouraged me to use it and first I hesitated but finally used it and appreciated the safer feeling.

Not necessarily so.   People still continue to peek and then hit the rep to mod button (or ask others to do it on their behalf).  The life of a mod never stops in this lovely sandbox.

So why is it bad?

In my opinion this function sucks.  It is not used as it should be and, as mentioned by several members in posts above this one, it prevents true and valuable discussions.  We all can learn something from somebody at some point (even if what we learn is just why we shouldn't do as they do).

I seriously wish we could keep the ignore function gone for good.  But I understand if Tim and other admins decide it is necessary to maintain it.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #52 on: February 08, 2011, 10:07:55 pm »
I thought the ignore option prevented useless animosity and kept dead relationships done and dusted.
As a bonus, doesn't it lighten the load on moderators - less conflict, less to moderate?   Moderators encouraged me to use it and first I hesitated but finally used it and appreciated the safer feeling.   So why is it bad?

Nowhere did I say that I was permanently pulling the plug on the ignore function -- it has its value, yes (though I wish I had a dollar for every time someone swears they've put another on ignore, only to engage in the same old tit-for-tat in subsequent threads). It wasn't my intent to block the ignore function entirely, but that's what happened and I'm not really keen on spending any more time playing with the SMF template and potentially making matters worse. I'm simply hoping for better configuration options with SMF 2.0. Hopefully I'll be able to once again enable the ignore function without the alienating "ignored by" profile feature. 

Offline bocker3

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #53 on: February 08, 2011, 10:11:36 pm »
What I am not really understanding is why anyone cares if anyone else uses ignore.  I mean I get the issue about people throwing it about as a "weapon" -- the old "are you speaking to me???  don't waste your time, I have you on ignore".  I never got that -- if you ignore someone -- IGNORE THEM.
But folks coming in and saying they wish the function would go away -- WHY??  if you don't like the ignore function don't use it -- why do you want to stop someone else from using it if they wish?  People should have a right to choose......

In the interest of disclosure -- I've only ever used it twice -- one person is gone now and the other, well, shall remain nameless.  Why did I use it -- because I lacked self-control with them and turned into something I did not like.  This made it easier on me and I've lost nothing from these forums.  Does that make a wuss -- perhaps -- but I'm happier, so don't take my choice away.

Mike

Offline leatherman

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #54 on: February 08, 2011, 10:13:45 pm »
without the alienating "ignored by" profile feature. 
I don't know that it was very alienating when you didn't know who was ignoring you or for how long.  :D

I have no problem with the ignore function coming back as many forums/bbs have a "block user" function which is especially useful for forums without moderators. Until you've been harassed by a whacko or homophobe, or spammed to death from a jerk, you'll never know how nice that "block user" function can be.
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #55 on: February 08, 2011, 10:32:20 pm »
What I am not really understanding is why anyone cares if anyone else uses ignore.  

folks coming in and saying they wish the function would go away -- WHY??  if you don't like the ignore function don't use it -- why do you want to stop someone else from using it if they wish?  People should have a right to choose......

You talkin to me?

You got yer opinions and ah got mine. Good enough?
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #56 on: February 08, 2011, 10:54:50 pm »
Well, since the ignore feature is currently disabled, I would like to take this opportunity to let mecch know that I really am being sincere when I say that I do enjoy reading many of his insightful posts (I haven't always agreed with every post of his - and he has not always agreed with every post of mine - thus, the reason he had put me on ignore) --- But, I hope that the temporary removal of this function will provide an opportunity for him and others to separate out the information or discussions from members they want to hear (read) and those that they don't without throwing the baby out with the bath water. 

If someone is ever really getting out of hand, offensive, attacking - there is always the report to mod button.  In the end though, I learn a great deal from every member on here - even in times of disagreement.

Just my two cents.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Ann

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #57 on: February 09, 2011, 12:34:46 am »
The life of a mod never stops in this lovely sandbox.

Ya think?




We have ALWAYS had an ignore button, at least since late 2001 when Peter Staley* upgraded to the FuseTalk forums from whatever crappy forum software he started out with (believe me it was a nightmare to navigate- Jody will probably agree with me).

The ignore button was NEVER a problem until last spring when we had hacking problems and therefore had to re-installed the forum software. It was only then that the "ignored by" info appeared in everyone's profile. Before that, nobody knew whether or not they were being ignored and they had no idea whether or not someone else was being ignored.

As it should be.

I'm all for having an ignore button - although I wouldn't use it myself (just too nosey) - but I am NOT for having members use it as a weapon to lord over other members.  If you have someone on ignore, ignore them, don't keep telling them over and over that you're ignoring them. It's like having someone standing next to you with their fingers in their ears while obnoxiously singing LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.

Nor am I for people using it as some screwed up version of street-cred (I'm being ignored by 5736 users, ain't I cool?). If you're being ignored, maybe there's a reason for that. Why gloat about it?

Anyway, it was the "ignored by" info in the profiles that Tim valiantly tried to get rid of - and I totally agreed with him. Things just don't always go according to plan. Isn't that how most of us ended up here in the first place? What's that quote about best laid men plans?

I hope I don't see too many more posts from people who suppose they were being ignored gloating about how they now cannot be ignored. That's as bad as the finger-in-ear-la-la-la crowd. Most of the people doing the ignoring were banned members anyway. Who gives a fig newton?


*if you don't know the name "Peter Staley" then it's high time you started reading about the history of the people responsible for the hiv services and meds at your disposal.


edited to fix a discombobulation
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 01:38:49 am by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline carousel

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #58 on: February 09, 2011, 04:38:07 am »



*if you don't know the name "Peter Staley" then it's high time you started reading about the history of the people responsible for the hiv services and meds at your disposal.


edited to fix a discombobulation

I started to ignore Peter when he started trolling round the I Love Porn thread.   What a Ho.

I've never put somebody on ignore, but I think it serves a purpose.  I agree that everybody can't always get on and I can see withdrawing from what are being experienced as attacks, by putting somebody on ignore may be the most pragmatic decision.

Agreed that telling us the number of people ignoring them was wrong, even though I was curious enough to check.

Also this site is not always moderated at all times and I can see it serving a purpose for members at that time, for them to feel safe posting.

I can't agree less with the idea that members should grow a pair of knackers if they want to stick around this site.   There should be a place on this site for people who are feeling vulnerable and those who sometimes crash into this site with a little craziness.

Offline bocker3

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #59 on: February 09, 2011, 07:41:17 am »
You talkin to me?

You got yer opinions and ah got mine. Good enough?

Wasn't talking directly to you as many have said the same thing you did.  However, seeing as I seemed to strike a nerve -- how come you didn't answer.  It's not about an opinion -- you want to take something away from others that ultimately has no impact on you.  I have no problem with folks opinion on the ignore button -- i.e. the merits of using it, but I don't understand why people think that NO ONE SHOULD HAVE THE CHOICE TO USE IT.

Mike

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #60 on: February 09, 2011, 07:58:12 am »
What I am not really understanding is why anyone cares if anyone else uses ignore.  I mean I get the issue about people throwing it about as a "weapon" -- the old "are you speaking to me???  don't waste your time, I have you on ignore".  I never got that -- if you ignore someone -- IGNORE THEM.

I agree with Bocker here.  Once you ignore someone that's the point - you really got to ignore.  You miss some good posts but you'll avoid the thing that bugged you so much as to want to ignore in the first place.

Newbies might not get this so they could be gently reminded when they try to flaunt ignore status.

Since there are hundreds of members here, I don't think anyone cares who has attracted a few ignores or who has ignored a few people.  The OP was making a crack but it misses the point.  Nobody goes out looking either to put people on ignored, or to get ignored.  Just some personalities attract this more than others, end of fascination.

Well, I'm looking forward to the return of this feature. Tim, call me dense but I'm not getting the exact issue - it is temporarily disabled and will be established again in the next system?  And when might that be.   The issue was the system was labeling who ignores who?  

By the way - PLEASE clarify.  If up to now a Person A puts Person B on ignore. Person B can still see A's posts to the threads. Correct?   But A is spared having to see B's posts?  Correct?  And can also block private messages.

As long as Member A no longer mentions B, where's the problem?

Even if B writes something interesting elsewhere, o even if B continues to comment on A's posts, A has given up the right to comment on B, because A perfers ignore.  This should be explained to people who push ignore.  If they can't manage that emotionally or intellectually, maybe they should get closer instruction, and that failing, time outs.

I am sure the moderators can come up with a standard paragraph, explanation and warning, that could quickly be posted to those threads where ignore is being "flaunted".
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 08:05:20 am by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline wolfter

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #61 on: February 09, 2011, 08:19:05 am »
I was only being flip.  I didn't think it'd cause such stir.  I promise that I won't Zin post again. (well, maybe not)  I did manage to get 2 ignores before this was disabled.  Too bad real life doesn't have the ignore feature.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #62 on: February 09, 2011, 08:25:46 am »

*if you don't know the name "Peter Staley" then it's high time you started reading about the history of the people responsible for the hiv services and meds at your disposal.



Anyone who doesnt know who Peter is may then be:

A) Very very young
B) Very new to being poz
C) Oblivious as to what happened in the world of HIV prior to their own infection
D) All of the above


I was only being flip.  I didn't think it'd cause such stir.  I promise that I won't Zin post again. (well, maybe not) 

You didn't do anything wrong.  Look at it this way, the discussion that it generated motivated Tim sufficiently to play with the code, even if he unintentionally broke it a little (making the function disappear altogether).   At least we won't see that "ignored by" line once the update is completed.



"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #63 on: February 09, 2011, 08:28:35 am »
  Too bad real life doesn't have the ignore feature.

I have had the same thought. I would love to block Sarah Palin and Fred Phelps/Westboro Baptist Church from my life.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #64 on: February 09, 2011, 08:37:46 am »
I have had the same thought. I would love to block Sarah Palin and Fred Phelps/Westboro Baptist Church from my life.

Don't forget those buffoons Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Ann

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #65 on: February 09, 2011, 09:06:29 am »

I am sure the moderators can come up with a standard paragraph, explanation and warning, that could quickly be posted to those threads where ignore is being "flaunted".


Mecch, must you be so pedantic?

I hardly think we need social etiquette tutorials on how to use the ignore button. If/when we get the ignore feature back - sans the "ignored by" notice in the profiles - we probably won't have this kind of problem again. We never had it before the "ignored by" notice appeared.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #66 on: February 09, 2011, 09:16:59 am »

*if you don't know the name "Peter Staley" then it's high time you started reading about the history of the people responsible for the hiv services and meds at your disposal.


Anyone who doesnt know who Peter is may then be:

A) Very very young
B) Very new to being poz
C) Oblivious as to what happened in the world of HIV prior to their own infection
D) All of the above


True, and I suppose I could have worded it a little better and said something more along the lines of "then please start reading about the history of hiv and activism". Sounds a bit less confrontational, yes?

But I do feel very strongly about people knowing their history surrounding this virus. Not knowing is in large part responsible for the complacency we see today that is allowing government to underfund programs like ADAP. I'm not just talking about politicians' complacency, I'm speaking more to the complacency of the more newly diagnosed who don't seem to be ACTing UP any more. Many aren't really aware of the struggles of the early years, they just know think that today they can take one pill and get on with their lives.

One of the first things I did when newly diagnosed was buy every book I could find on the history. I can give a reading list if anyone is interested.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #67 on: February 09, 2011, 10:04:10 am »
Mecch, must you be so pedantic?

I hardly think we need social etiquette tutorials on how to use the ignore button. If/when we get the ignore feature back - sans the "ignored by" notice in the profiles - we probably won't have this kind of problem again. We never had it before the "ignored by" notice appeared.

Im missing the whole problem I guess. I got too inputs - 1) ignore was bugging some people and moderators for some social network psychology reason, and 2) it was discontinued in a snafu to be reinstated eventually. 

Something else? You mean on someone's profile, it named who ignored this profile?

I misunderstood. I thought some people were arguing that its disactivatation is good because some moderators and members don't approve of people "flaunting" ignore.  Thus my suggestion for a lesson. 

This whole thing would be better clarified in its own thread me thinks.

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #68 on: February 09, 2011, 10:34:40 am »
I agree with Bocker here.  Once you ignore someone that's the point - you really got to ignore.  You miss some good posts but you'll avoid the thing that bugged you so much as to want to ignore in the first place.




Do you ever read what you write? Guy that tells people he has them on ignore by quoting the person he has on ignore to tell them he has them on ignore. Mary that ain't ignoring, that's flattery.

Offline Ann

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #69 on: February 09, 2011, 12:36:31 pm »
Im missing the whole problem I guess. I got too inputs - 1) ignore was bugging some people and moderators for some social network psychology reason, and 2) it was discontinued in a snafu to be reinstated eventually. 

Something else? You mean on someone's profile, it named who ignored this profile?

I misunderstood. I thought some people were arguing that its disactivatation is good because some moderators and members don't approve of people "flaunting" ignore.  Thus my suggestion for a lesson. 

This whole thing would be better clarified in its own thread me thinks.



~sigh~

The fact is, nobody ever talked about who they were ignoring or speculated about who was ignoring them until that darned "ignored by" thing turned up in everyone's profiles. The ignore button was simply used and rarely mentioned, except sometimes by one of us moderators when we were warning people about flaming each other. As in, "if you don't want to hear what s/he is saying, hit the ignore button". Other than that, it was never discussed.

Since the "ignored by" thing turned up, it became a source of hurt feelings and ignoring or being ignored was becoming frequently used by some members as fodder for flaming each other.

Got it yet? I hope so.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #70 on: February 09, 2011, 01:22:17 pm »
Ah OK its clear now. It is new information in the profiles.  I've never seen this new information, and I didn't understand in this thread that was the issue. Thanks for the clarification.

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #71 on: February 09, 2011, 02:40:44 pm »
Mecch, do you actually read the threads you respond to, or do you just read the titles and go for it?
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #72 on: February 09, 2011, 03:48:24 pm »
Mecch, do you actually read the threads you respond to, or do you just read the titles and go for it?

I've been accused of the same thing before.  I tend to read quite selectively and ignore (minus the command) the people I don't care for and respond to the others.  Also if a thread is a couple of days or weeks in developing then I sometimes forget what's in the earlier part of the thread.  It's kind of silly to assume someone goes back to the beginning of a thread reads all the way through it and then posts, rather than just reading the recent replies.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #73 on: February 09, 2011, 04:36:40 pm »




I read only the even numbered posts.  And, I never go all the way back to the beginning...... because  #1 is an odd number. 
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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #74 on: February 09, 2011, 04:44:17 pm »
I've been accused of the same thing before.  I tend to read quite selectively and ignore (minus the command) the people I don't care for and respond to the others.  Also if a thread is a couple of days or weeks in developing then I sometimes forget what's in the earlier part of the thread.  It's kind of silly to assume someone goes back to the beginning of a thread reads all the way through it and then posts, rather than just reading the recent replies.

Sweet Zombie Jesus. ::)

And the problem with that approach is that the Mooch got shit wrong. Because he failed to read the thread properly he came to an erroneous conclusion.

See how that works, lab partner? To get a full appreciation of a thread you should read the whole fucking thing, not just the bits you're sure won't offend your delicate sensibilities.

MtD

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #75 on: February 09, 2011, 05:14:25 pm »
Sweet Zombie Jesus. ::)

And the problem with that approach is that the Mooch got shit wrong. Because he failed to read the thread properly he came to an erroneous conclusion.

See how that works, lab partner? To get a full appreciation of a thread you should read the whole fucking thing, not just the bits you're sure won't offend your delicate sensibilities.

MtD

I don't get offended, but like Dachsund never brings any positive or friendly commentary to a thread.  So I just skip over him for the most part.  Anytime a thread devolves into two or three people jumping onto one person for speaking his/her piece I also skip over that.  It's just how I choose to peruse the forums, if that gets me written off in some people's eyes so be it.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #76 on: February 09, 2011, 05:26:57 pm »
I don't get offended, but like Dachsund never brings any positive or friendly commentary to a thread.  So I just skip over him for the most part.  Anytime a thread devolves into two or three people jumping onto one person for speaking his/her piece I also skip over that.  It's just how I choose to peruse the forums, if that gets me written off in some people's eyes so be it.

Two observations, I think:

1. You only reading half of every second thread is not why you get "written off" -- it's the things you post that get you "written off".

2. Decrying personal attacks in a post you opened with a personal attack is prescription strength hypocrisy. Well done. :)

MtD

/edit: tyop/
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 05:29:30 pm by Matty the Damned »

Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #77 on: February 09, 2011, 05:30:55 pm »
Mecch, do you actually read the threads you respond to, or do you just read the titles and go for it?

I read the threads.  This is not the first time you say this of me, Ann.

I did not understand the issue Tim had with ignore, until you clarified it for me. Thank you for that.
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Offline BT65

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #78 on: February 09, 2011, 05:39:50 pm »
I don't get offended, but like Dachsund never brings any positive or friendly commentary to a thread.

Oh pish posh.
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Offline mecch

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #79 on: February 09, 2011, 05:41:47 pm »
Tim remarked in this thread that for the moment we who have pressed ignore will see the post of those previously ignored.  Therefore I notice that I happen to agree with bocker and will look forward to the ignore function coming back.  

I don't put people on ignore because I think they are total jerks without anything useful to say to this forum.  Rather, its an individual feeling, about my own relationship, and at a certain point it protects from a hostile relationship between two people, me and another, and has nothing to do with what goes on for everyone else.  

Also, i don't know about other people who use ignore, but I don't read the forums without signing it. One of the reasons being is that signing in, I get the benefits I wanted with ignore.

If other people want to see it as "ignorers" needing to grow balls, thank you for sharing that view.  I disagree.  I think its fine to avoid relationships that often enough are not productive and which produce hurt or annoyance.  People do this at work, in their social lives, at cocktail parties, etc.  It takes balls to decide to disengage and just ignore in such situations.  

People clearly seem to have strong opinions about the ignore feature and people who use it.   Other people thankfully take ignore in stride. Who the hell cares?

Anyway if I understand correctly, it will be coming back eventually.  
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Being ignored
« Reply #80 on: February 09, 2011, 05:43:39 pm »
I think we're done here.

I'm locking this one up.

 


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