POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: tropical on October 25, 2009, 10:36:09 am
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hi, i am coming to see my boy friend who lives in Australia, he is +, i am -. i have some doubts about oral sex. 2 years ago, i went to Australia and i went with him to his doctor and i took the chance to clarify all my doubts. his doctor said there is no problem with oral sex, since you have a healthy mouth. he said i can even have his cum in my mouth (something i will never do, sorry). my question is: why all the world (tv, magazines, internet, interviews with infectologists, etc) says you have to have oral sex with CONDOM, and you (from this web site and his doctor) say there is no risk.
thank you for your attention
tropical
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Tropical,
I agree with your bf's doctor. As long as you have a healthy mouth, there's no need to worry about hiv. All the more if your bf is on meds and undetectable.
Lots of other sources will insist on condoms for oral because they don't know all that much about hiv transmission. They don't know things like the fact that there's over a dozen different proteins and enzymes in saliva that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. They don't realise that hiv can only infect a very few, very specific types of cells and these cells aren't abundant in the mouth.
However, it's worth mentioning that there are other MUCH more easily transmitted STIs that you can get through giving blowjobs, such as gonorrhea. Oral gonorrhea often has no symptoms, but it's still there and has the ability to infect your oral sex partners. So, if you're talking about random hook-ups, it's probably prudent to use condoms so you don't end up with oral gonorrhea or syphilis or whatever. If you're with a regular partner and you know for a fact that they don't have other STIs, and you have good oral health, condoms for oral aren't really necessary.
Ann
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thank you ann, as always very kind and clear.
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I just want to add on to Ann's on point comments that there have been longterm studies of sero-discordant couples both gay and straight. There was lots of mutual unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse. To date not a single sero-negative partner has become infected.
Although we do hear occasionally of someone who insists their only risk was oral, those claims never seem to hold up under careful scrutiny. As long as your mouth is in good shape (gums, etc.), your saliva ought to be providing sufficient protection against transmission.
As with all things sexual, you need to decide what you are personally comfortable with and proceed accordingly.
Cheers.