every bit helps i guess

[zach]

so i did the lab thing, vl ud, cd4 225, 20%

i'm not exactly thrilled with these numbers. my last three labs have been 217, 220, and now 225.

trying to look on the bright side, at least it is improvement, and my vl is still ud

[buginme2]

Has your cd4 percentage changed at all over your last 3 tests?  How far apart were they taken?

[skeebo1969]

  Being that you started out with a Cd4 count of 8 and just started meds a little more than a year ago I would say you are doing pretty well....

[leatherman]

Being that you started out with a Cd4 count of 8

I totally agree with Skee. You've made great improvements.

There are studies out that show that people who reach a very low nadir (that's the lowest point) of cd4 counts often never recover very high and can take a long time to reach their new high point. It's just par for the course of having your immune system so wrecked before getting treatment.

Of course, everyone is different, so the results vary. You may get more improvement as this next year goes along or it may take a longer time. I had a low cd4 count of 7 and it took 16 yrs to reach 300. I averaged about 225 over the last decade and haven't been back in the hospital in 14 yrs., nor very sick. It's just been this year (that's after 19 yrs of meds) that I seem to be holding constant now in the very low 300s

In the end it's not always about how many cd4s you have but how well they work.

[WillyWump]

Zach, having a CD4 of 225 after starting at 8 is an amazing improvement, dont get down over this. 

Quite frankly I felt better when I had a CD4 of 350 versus now of 812, lol.

-Will

[zach]

and that is what its all about right, i feel great, and haven't been sick, so fk the numbers

we've talked about those studies before, and i've wrapped my head around the reality, it's just unpalatable truth i guess, and a part of me keeps looking for more

its not apathy, its bitterness i think  

dr tells me these numbers like i should be feeling sick, and i resent it

zach (an angry poster child for the balm of gilead)

[Joe K]

and that is what its all about right, i feel great, and haven't been sick, so fk the numbers

we've talked about those studies before, and i've wrapped my head around the reality, it's just unpalatable truth i guess, and a part of me keeps looking for more

its not apathy, its bitterness i think  

dr tells me these numbers like i should be feeling sick, and i resent it

zach (an angry poster child for the balm of gilead)

Hey Zach,

Maybe the numbers wouldn't upset you so much, if you could see how well you have really done.  My low CD4 was 4 and it took me 16 years to reach the 200 level.  So compared to me, you are like superman, but what really matters is the drugs are working, your numbers are improving and you feel better.  Try to never lose sight of your goal, the numbers are just an indicator and in your case all indications are heading in the right direction.

Zach, HIV is for life, so don't let the little things eat at you.  Sometimes we may want things quicker than humanly possible, but the goal is to become healthier, which you are, so what exactly are you complaining about?     

[zach]

so what exactly are you complaining about?     

shuffles feet sheepishly 

joe, i think i'm just complaining about being poz

i'm not quite putting my head in the sand, but i avoid thinking about the numbers because they do eat at me. atripla works, i feel great. the numbers feel like an intrusion (or a reality check)

[Joe K]

shuffles feet sheepishly 

joe, i think i'm just complaining about being poz

i'm not quite putting my head in the sand, but i avoid thinking about the numbers because they do eat at me. atripla works, i feel great. the numbers feel like an intrusion (or a reality check)

They feel like a reality check because they are and the reality is you are getting better.  I encourage you to look for signs that support how you feel physically, instead of how you might look on paper.  Zach, you had 8 CD4s and now you have 225.  Read that as many times as you need to, until it settles in that you are getting better.  No matter what has happened, you started meds, they are working and you are regaining your health.  When you think about the damage your system has recovered from, it is very encouraging as a trend and I expect your counts will continue to rise.

Zach, complaining is normal and even healthy, because we face many challenges.  But if you really want to live with HIV, don't give it one more second of your time than what it absolutely demands.  You have HIV, it does not have you, unless you allow it to happen.

Joe