Living With Smokers

[PeteNYNJ]

I don't know if this belongs here but the powers that be will judge.

Due to recent economic crises, I have had to move back in with my parents.  I am happy that I have a place to go, not on the street, yada yada

My big problem - both my Father and my Aunt who lives here are HUGE cigarette smokers.  I actually think my Dad may smoke more than anyone I have ever met.

Anyway, my clothes stink and my respiratory issues are off the chain.  I have my own room but it is an old house full of uneven doors and cracks.

My question - are there any products out there that I can put in my room to purify the air so I can breathe and my clothes don't stink like a nightclub circa 1995?  I have asked if they could just smoke in a certain part of the house and got the "I own this house and I will not be made to smoke......blah blah blah" .

HELP!

[BT65]

Hey Pete,

Yeah, unfortunately when you're living in a house which a smoker owns, you really have no say about the smoking.  And I suppose that's how it should be.  I'm not trying to be a bitch, but if I owned my own home, I would pretty much make the rules about what went on in it.

When I look at the ads that come with the Sunday paper, I see advertisements for air purifiers at places like Target.  I've never owned one, so I can't speak to how good those products are.  I suppose it would be worth a shot, if it means you breathing better.  Hopefully someone with some experience with these will chime in.  Good luck, and maybe with the upcoming warmer weather, you can go outdoors more?  Hang in there.

[Cliff]

Yes, invest in a decent air purifier and improve the ventilation (open/crack the window and leave bedroom door closed at all times).

[mecch]

Close your door, put a heavy towel or draft blocker at the bottom to prevent air from coming in, an crack the window.  
If its not too queeny for your family to handle, you might have additional success with heavy, weighted drapes inside the door.
Smokers love to keep everything shut cause they love to live in the smoke! So if you open your window, but dont seal your door, its all going to filter through your room anyway.

Air purifiers work when the room is sealed but this seems like an impossibility in your house/room.
At least warm weather is coming and you can really open your window.

Keep a few outfits that you will wear around your house separate from the rest of your clothes. For instance, hang these on pegs.  Keep your clothes that you wear in the outside world isolated from the smokey environment.  This should dramatically decrease but not eliminate the smokey smell.  
I've lived with smokers and clothes dont pick up that much smell if they are laundered and kept in drawers and CLOSED closets. Its a pleasure to put them on and get out the door.
Wash your sheets a lot, too.

[WillyWump]

The air purifiers are marginal at best in controlling the odor. The open windows will help somewhat but not much, especially if it creates negative/positive pressure and actually pulls the smoke through the cracks in the door, etc.
Unfortunately, yes, it's their house they have a right to smoke in it.

Sorry you are going through this.

[Oceanbeach]

I used to smoke and I remember how protective I was in regards to my living space.  My parents were smokers, I was living in L.A. when my father was dying of cancer in Santa Rosa, I regret not flying up to see him in the hospital and squeeze the tubes with the morphine drip.     Have the best day
Michael

[tednlou2]

Since I quit smoking, I can smell smoke on my friends that I couldn't before.  My parents are smokers and when they bring me mail that still goes to their house, I can really smell the smoke on it.  When I did smoke, my brother would complain about when he left my house from a visit, his suitcase smelled really bad of smoke.

When I had guests staying with me, I would try to not smoke so much.  Since you're living with them, I guess it will be difficult for you to tell them what to do.  Those ionizers were suppose to be good, and then I saw on the news how they create ozone or something and can be dangerous.  However, the news always hypes everything.

Get a bubble like John Travolta or the bubble boy on Seinfeld??

[camille07]

Hey Peter- I've had ironic breeze air purifiers  from the now defunk Sharpened Image, which are horrible.  They sell other variations.  They're also  dangerous  because the epa reported that they emit ozone.
Stick with a  hepa filter base air purifier.  I had a few because my ex smoked.  Honeywell is a good one.  They get pricey so check out Target, as Bt suggested.

Camms

[Dale Parker]

Hey Pete: If you can invest in a good air cleaner. Make sure that it is sized for the room that it's in and Ionizes the air. One thing you can also do is purchase the Fabreze air sprays.  The cyclodextrin (the active ingredient) in it surrounds the odor molecules preventing them from stinking. The company I used to work for replicated the Fabreze formula and it worked great.
   I have a love seat that was a wedding present to my Grandmother that I used it on. It's about 95 years old and sat in my sisters moldy basement for 7 or 8 years. You could really smell the mold in it. I gave it a good spray with Fabreze and seriously it was two years before I had to respray it. They make various form of Fabreze. Some are for the air, clothes and furniture, some get added to your washing detergent. They also have those flame-less candles that you can scatter through the house to make it smell better.
I imagine that they may only have sight health benefits but they they will make the house smell better.

[fearless]

hey Pete,

the thing that really has the lingering smell is the ashtray with old butts in it. try to get them to use an ashtray with a lid on it.
My flatmate and I were both heavy smokers and a closed lid ashtray helped heaps in keeping the smell down to a minimum - well, that's what our friends said.

[PeteNYNJ]

Thanks so much guys for your input

I absolutely respect the right for them to smoke in the house they own.  I just think with an asthmatic HIV poz son and a nice who is 8 and asthmatic, it is rude.  Maybe I just care about people too much, but if they ever came to my home I would move my habits somewhere that didn't effect people directly.

What really gets me is when my Dad in the morning takes a shit and smokes about 3 cigarettes in the bathroom with no windows.  I really gasp for air...and not from his poop
Whatever, my Dad is on of the most inconsiderate people I have ever met.

I hate smelling like smoke.  I think I will get my clothes dry cleaned and then leave them in plastic bags until I am out of this joint.

PS - the irony is that my Mom is the only one of them who has consistently worked and she is a non smoker.  I tell her she to relegate them to the back porch

[Nestor]

Wow, I really feel for you--I hate smoke!  Yet I managed to live for two years in a country where people smoke anywhere they want.  I remember being in Shanghai for a week and coming back to my hotel after several hours at a smoke-filled computer cafe.  A friend pointed out that my clothes reeked and suggested I change clothes.  What's the point?  I asked.  I was just going to go to a restaurant, and then a bar, both of which, I knew, would also be filled with smoke. 

Maybe if you had a really dramatic asthma attack in front of them they might change their behavior? 

Maybe your mother really can be persuaded to insist on a no-smoking area? 

The only other thing I can think of is revenge--someday your dad will need you to take care of him, and then you can make the rules. 

[skeebo1969]

   Since your mother is not a smoker Pete, you should know there are ways to entice her into "relegating" this situation.  Most nonsmokers who live with smokers that smoke in the house have one overwhelming fear.  Pete, do you know what that is?

  I'll tell you....

  "This motherfucker is going to fall asleep in the bed with a cigarette" and of course along with that thought comes, "He's going to take all of us with him".  Now let's just say for arguments sake Pete that your pops doesn't even burn in bed....

  Your momma don't know that for sure now does she? He just might be sneaking butts in there while she's at work, ya dig?

  Here's what you do my friend and take it from me, I set a dog up once with something like this, but I'll get to that later... your thread, so you come first...  Anyways, where was I?  Oh yea.. You must follow these steps carefully:

  1. Wait till no one is home.
  2. Go in your parents room and carefully light one of your father's ciggies.
  3. Go to the bed and carefully burn a whole in the sheet.
 
  Sometimes this is all it takes, but you may have to take further steps to insure a smoking ban exists by April 1rst, no later than April 15 though.  If the hole in the sheet doesn't do the trick, burn holes in the following items in exact order, once again while no one is home:

  1. Her pillow.
  2. His recliner
  3. Kitchen counter, let the whole cigarette burn to the filter.
  4. Bathroom counter top
 
  Pete, if that doesn't work, I know what you're thinking.  And, you are 100% correct my friend, her panty drawer is next.  You and I both know she'll be like, "How the fuck did he burn these!!"

  At this point your dad will voluntarily quit smoking in the house just to save the marriage.

  Happy burning!!
 

[Jeff G]

Skeebo .... an evil genius LOL

[PeteNYNJ]

Skeebo...I fuckin' love you

[fearless]

Skeebo, too funny but also too true.

my ex, ex (wooo, two ex's ago. how cool) used to fall asleep on the sofa with cig in mouth. there was a bunch of holes burnt in the sofa and a line of burns on the floor boards below. didn't stop him smoking but scared the shit out of me.

gotta go, man v wild is on. i'm in love with him, 'man'.

[Oceanbeach]

Hey Pete,

Speaking of financial crisis, have you talked with Case Management at your ASO?  A long time ago, there was a program called "CRIRP"or "CHIRP" or something which was federal funding for 1 month lodging at a hotel and meal vouchers for 3 meals per day, for 30 days for a person living with HIV and their immediate family.  I think it would be based on you being able to rent a place of your own at the end of the thirty days and there is a HOPWA grant for people living with HIV which will pay the move in costs of a person who has HIV with a limit and the ability to pay regular rent.  This would be based on having a job or a disability income.  Something to look into    Have the best day
Michael

[David_CA]

A small fan in a bedroom window blowing in will obviously help keep the stink out of your room.  Of course, as it gets hotter, that's not necessarily going to work.  Does the house have central A/C?  If so, that's going to blow the smoke and smell into your room.  Maybe a small window A/C (around $100 at home improvement stores / Walmart or less... especially if you get a used one) and keeping the door closed and sealed as tightly as possible will help.  A HEPA filter will help some; make sure it has one of those charcoal filters in it to absorb smell. 

If it were me, I'd also mention to my mom about how I'm trying to find another place due to the smoke.  As a non-smoker, I'm sure she doesn't like it.  It's obviously not the best thing for an 8 year old with asthma, either.  Good luck with it; just thinking about living in a smokey house makes a tent in the back yard sound pretty nice!