Author Topic: anal rub risk???? (Read 34269 times)

JMJ · « **on:** September 16, 2007, 01:12:50 am »

Hey guys, am new to this (Am I Infected) forum.

Love the way you guys answer important questions regarding HIV.

On to the concern:

Got together with a guy of unknown status. I applied some astroglide to his erect penis and proceeded to masturbate him. He fingered my ass for a second, and I told him to stop because it didn't feel good. We proceeded to do some frottage experimentation. Have never done that before. He vigorously rubbed his penis head which still had a little lube in it against my ass crack. Felt some pressure while he did that( he was leaned over while I was on my back -classic missionary position), but didn't feel that there was any penetration, as I CERTAINLY would have felt that. I'm kinda tight down there. It did feel as though I was being rimmed wildly. Didn't think too much of it at the time. But as I think harder on it now....what if he had penetrated even slightly without me knowing it. Somehow, I think that would be impossible, even with his penis slightly lubed. I certainly couldn't have looked down there to verify it (I'm not that flexible). Anyways, would appreciate your thoughts on this subject. Am substantially worried over this incident now. What is my risk for HIV here?

JMJ

Ann · « **Reply #1 on:** September 16, 2007, 07:08:09 am »

JMJ,

You didn't have a risk for hiv infection. Frottage is not a risk. The only hiv risk from frottage is if penetration occurs without a condom and if you don't know if he did, you can bet it didn't happen. You'd know.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

JMJ · « **Reply #2 on:** September 16, 2007, 11:26:17 pm »

Quote from: Ann on September 16, 2007, 07:08:09 am

JMJ,

You didn't have a risk for hiv infection. Frottage is not a risk. The only hiv risk from frottage is if penetration occurs without a condom and if you don't know if he did, you can bet it didn't happen. You'd know.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

Thank you for the swift reply, Ann. Definitely more relief here now!

In light of your response, the only concern I have during the incident is that my ass cheeks were spread apart, AND this perhaps exposes the moister part of the anal opening --- a little beyond the drier puckered opening. Would that area then qualify as a mucous membrane? So, in connection with my earlier inquiry, does it put me more at risk for HIV?

Hehe...do tell me if I'm being over-analytical!

Many thanks and big hugs,

JMJ

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #3 on:** September 16, 2007, 11:44:03 pm »

JM,

Mate, if you'd been fucked up the bum you'd know. Trust Matty the Damned here honey, he knows all about being dungpunched -- it's not something that slips under the radar.

As Ann notes this was a case of frottage and as such not an HIV risk. Re-read her advice to you and you'll be fine.

Regards,

MtD

JMJ · « **Reply #4 on:** September 17, 2007, 06:55:22 pm »

fantastic....thank you for your response Matty. Am going to get tested in November, as a routine, anyways.

JMJ

JMJ · « **Reply #5 on:** September 30, 2007, 06:52:34 pm »

hello there, again.

am still feeling concerned with a certain what "if".

1. I've been reading here about dipping. What if he had dipped in me without me knowing it? Would that have gone under the radar as well? Does dipping hurt? Remember that he was still a little lubed up. I do remember pressure with his attempts to push in and the vigorous rubbing, BUT I do know my hole wouldn't take it. I assume there would be the "pain" if he was even just marginally successful at it. There was no pain. However, I've just been reading about the more voluntary 1st anal sphincter which can relax more, and the more inner 2nd anal sphincter which is involuntary/more restrictive. Now, in the past, when I got tongued/rimmed down there, I have learned to relax down there to totally enjoy the experience. Was I relaxing my first anal sphincter during vigorous frottage? Perhaps.

Now with his lubed-up-penis-vigorous-forward pressure rubbing, is it possible that my 1st sphincter muscle relaxed to allow the shallowest entry? All I know is that I felt a wild and perhaps forceful rimming sensation. Again, let me reiterate though that there was no pain which would be a "flashing red light" indicator for me that there was a marginally successful attempt at opening my "back door".

I've only bottomed three times in my life - all protected. I blow guys using an oral sex condom 96% of the time. The rest is just kissing and j/o.
This was my first attempt at frottage/dry fucking. I don't think I'll do it again.
I do assume that all potential hook-ups are poz, so I take the expected precautions. However I'm still somewhat concerned about this particular incident, and of course concerned about testing poz as a result.

Any thoughts? Ann, Andy, Rodd, Matty, etc??

Big hugs,

JMJ

Ann · « **Reply #6 on:** September 30, 2007, 07:11:37 pm »

J,

We've already told you that we don't think you had a risk. If you need to test to put this behind you (er, no pun intended) then test, collect your negative result and move on. As a sexually active adult you should be testing at least once a year anyway.

Ann

JMJ · « **Reply #7 on:** October 13, 2007, 11:08:36 am »

hello everyone,

I apologize if I seem a pest, but the guy I mentioned in the above posts just admitted to me that he is poz. I do assume all partners are poz, but that confirmation just raised my anxiety levels way up, as you could expect.

Given all the information from my last posts, would I still be ok? I can't imagine that with all that vigorous rubbing with lube, that it didn't make it in beyond the outer anus. The intention was frottage, but now, I'm not sure what happened. I felt like he did try to push in a few times, but I know he was unsuccessful with that because there was no pain. I tried to duplicate the event here at home with a medium small dildo (he wasn't that big 5in with medium width, circumference), and there is a point when you push in that it hurts. But there was none of that when I was with him. There wasn't even a resistance. It all felt like it was all towards or around the outside.
Am I correct then in assuming that there was no real penetration if there was no such pain/resistance? As Ann and Matty said, being entered isn't something that goes under the radar.

Also, he wasn't a precummer, and if there was precum, there would have been very little of it --- like a small dropletl

please advise....

JMJ

JMJ

Ann · « **Reply #8 on:** October 13, 2007, 11:58:35 am »

JM,

When we do risk assessments here, we ALWAYS assume the other person is hiv negative. Our advice therefore remains the same - you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

JMJ · « **Reply #9 on:** October 13, 2007, 01:53:29 pm »

Ann,

did you mean to say that you always assume that the other person is always POSITIVE or NEGATIVE. Please clarify. I assume you meant Positive.

many thanks,

JMJ

Ann · « **Reply #10 on:** October 13, 2007, 02:15:40 pm »

JM,

Yes, please excuse my typo. I meant to say that we always assess risks while assuming the other person is hiv POSITIVE.

You didn't have a risk.

Ann

JMJ · « **Reply #11 on:** November 06, 2007, 11:35:10 am »

hello again,

I'm having cold symptoms - congestion, post-nasal drip, slight headache, plugged ears, and also have a canker sore. My question is: Can ARS symptoms occur at 10.5 weeks post exposure. It's been that long since my "exposure". Also, I do remember getting a canker sore near my left tonsil at 5 weeks post exposure.

many thanks,

JMJ

Andy Velez · « **Reply #12 on:** November 06, 2007, 01:16:12 pm »

J, it would be extremely unusual to have ARS show up at such a late date.

It would be more than unusual -- it just wouldn't happen to someone like yourself who did not do anything risky.

No matter what symptoms you are having - none of which are in any way HIV specific specific by the way - it still doesn't change how we see your situation. This is not about HIV.

Discuss your symptoms with your doctor. This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.

JMJ · « **Reply #13 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:33:02 am »

Hello again,

I just sent in my blood sample yesterday (Monday) morning for my FDA approved Express Home Access HIV-1 test. I should be getting the result tonight (Tuesday). It has been around 3 months (August 27 to November 26) since the above-mentioned incident for which you all declared as being no risk. I’m just wanting some optimistic encouragement from you so that I may retrieve my result.

To summarize (one last time) my concerns: Please review one more time.

1.   Mutually masturbated with a guy using astroglide. He fingered me a few seconds which I didn’t like, so I told him to stop. Later, did some vigorous rubbing/grinding on my anus with his erect lubed penis and tried to push in a few times, but with no penetration (I didn’t feel any at least). I told him to stop that, so we finished off with just masturbation. Major concern is that his lubed penis tip may have facilitated a contact with the mucosa (anoderm) directly underneath the opening. He wasn’t a precummer, so if there was any, there would have been just a droplet. The big thing is that he later admitted he was hiv-positive.

2.   It has been a little over year since my last Home Access HIV-1 test. Since then, my other sexual activities have been confined to: deep kissing, mutual masturbation, sucking a guy using an oral sex condom, getting rimmed vigorously, getting sucked. Only once did I suck a guy without a condom, and that lasted for only TWO seconds. Let’s assume he was poz too.

3.    ARS concerns during my window period: 1 Canker sore at 6 weeks. Another canker sore at 8 weeks. At about 10 weeks, I got cold symptoms. Another canker sore at 11 weeks. CBC done in October showed elevated liver enzymes three times the high normal. However, an ultrasound showed some gallstones, which can raise liver enzymes. I tested negative for all Hepatitis types. Needless to say I’ve been very mentally stressed since August 27.

4.   My lesson: I will never have any kind of penis rubbing done on my anus again, since I feel now that is beyond my personal limits. For some, that is acceptable. For me, it is anxiety provoking.

Here’s praying that my intense fear/premonitions about a positive test result don’t become a reality.

Appreciate all of your comments and encouragement, once again. Big hugs.

JMJ

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #14 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:36:50 am »

You are wasting enormous resources with your foolishness. You do not have HIV. All of this testing is entirely unnecessary, you will test negative.

MtD

JMJ · « **Reply #15 on:** November 28, 2007, 08:26:02 pm »

hello matty,

I apologize for my foolishness. I'm a hypochondriac, I admit. However I wanted to thank you for all of your help. I phoned for my results this morning and just like you said, I am Hiv-negative.

I want to thank the others as well - Ann, Andy for their reassuring advice.

You all do such a great job here on poz.com. I wish the very best of life for all of you!

JMJ

Andy Velez · « **Reply #16 on:** November 28, 2007, 08:55:13 pm »

Congrats on that happy if not unexpected negative test result.

Keep the condoms handy, use them when needed and get on with your life.

Cheers,

JMJ · « **Reply #17 on:** December 15, 2007, 08:25:14 pm »

hello again beautiful people,

My friend just showed me this nasty video online with two girls eating each other's feces and throwing up on each other. I think this is called scat. We were arguing about HIV transmission possibilities with these kinds of sexual practices.

many thanks, as always,

JMJ

JMJ · « **Reply #18 on:** December 15, 2007, 08:26:25 pm »

I guess my question was that what are your thoughts on this matter?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #19 on:** December 15, 2007, 08:32:14 pm »

There's no risk of transmission in that manner, which you ought to well know at this point. Instead of spending your time and energy on this kind of speculative nonsense, how about (re)reading our lesson on transmission where you get the basics about the issue.

Neither vomit nor scat provide the necessary friendly environment for HIV transmission.

How about getting on with your life? Or is this kind of stuff what you consider to be doing that?

JMJ · « **Reply #20 on:** December 15, 2007, 08:34:16 pm »

ok, will do, again. thank you.

Ann · « **Reply #21 on:** December 15, 2007, 08:48:11 pm »

JMJ,

If that's the video I think you're talking about, that's not scat, it's a chocolate pudding enema. Seriously. If you need that explained, go ask yer mom.

Ann

JMJ · « **Reply #22 on:** May 13, 2008, 05:44:11 am »

Hi there again guys,

Well, since my last negative HIV test, I've hooked up a few times ----just kissing, mutual masturbation, sucked guys using a flavored condom....no real concern.

Last night, I hooked up with a guy. Did lots of deep kissing. I sucked him off for about one minute without an oral sex condom but I made sure I used a lot of spit. This is unusual for me because I usually use a flavored condom when I suck - my own weird comfort level, I suppose. So, departing from my norm got me a little spooked. Then, I fucked (I topped) him with a condom for five minutes. Condom was intact and did not slip or break. After that, we proceeded to jack each other off to completion.

How do you guys think I did? Should I be concerned for HIV?

many thanks, as always.

JMJ

Ann · « **Reply #23 on:** May 13, 2008, 05:54:06 am »

JM,

Congratulations, nothing you did put you at risk for hiv infection - but you should know that by now.

We're not here to hold your hand everytime you have a sexual experience. If you really need this validation every time you step slightly outside your comfort zone, perhaps it's time to find a therapist who you can discuss these things with on a one-to-one, face-to-face basis. We're not therapists.

Ann

JMJ · « **Reply #24 on:** May 13, 2008, 06:01:45 am »

thank you, Ann...

especially for addressing the need for a therapist. Specifically, what kind of mental therapist should I be seeking....one that specializes in sexual issues? I don't know how to go about finding one that specific.

JMJ

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #25 on:** May 13, 2008, 06:05:53 am »

Your best bet would be to ask your doctor for a referral to a suitable mental health professional. Alternatively there may be a sexual health service in your area which can provide you with access to an appropriate therapist.

MtD

JMJ · « **Reply #26 on:** May 13, 2008, 06:09:09 am »

thank you, Matty....

hugs,

JMJ

JMJ · « **Reply #27 on:** May 20, 2008, 03:33:21 am »

Dear experts,

I'm sure you're aware of this already .... http://www.newstrackindia.com/newsdetails/2333

Just wanted your enlightening opinions on it, since it has long been stated that saliva isn't infectious as far as HIV is concerned.

JMJ

Ann · « **Reply #28 on:** May 20, 2008, 03:48:07 am »

JM,

There's a HUGE difference in what that article talks about and ordinary - or even deep - kissing.

For a start, you're not a tiny baby with an underdeveloped immune system.

This article has NOTHING to do with kissing. Kissing is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

You're way overdue for a time out. Keep coming back with this kissing stuff and you'll be given one.

Ann

Forums Index

Welcome

Welcome to Do I Have HIV?

Author Topic: anal rub risk???? (Read 34269 times)