Scared, ashamed and need advice

[robtheroy]

Hi

I am freaking out: I made the huge mistake of following my curiosity too far and hooked up with with a transgender escort, and had unprotected oral sex  (I was sucking).

She didn't cum at all (during oral or at any time after) and I didn't taste any pre-cum or anything.  She didn't have any broken skin that I could see either, in fact she looked very healthy in general.  My oral health is very good, I had no cuts or ulcers/sores, etc, in my mouth and no gum disease.  I'd brushed about 40 minutes prior, but not flossed.  I was enthusiastically sucking, but gently and there was no skin breakage.

I wasn't sucking for long, probably a couple of minutes but it really wasn't going anywhere, so we switched to mutual masturbation (She didn't come, I did) and we had a brief, shallow french kiss.  There was no anal sex at any stage.  I only thought about using a condom for oral afterwards, I'm such an idiot.  I'm usually almost paranoid-safe but I got carried away in the moment.  She had a lot of condoms with her too, why didn't I use one?!!

I contacted her a couple of weeks later and she says her last health check was "negative for HIV and all other STDs", which is reassuring, I guess.  She also said she insists on safe sex with all clients and that if she'd been sucking, she'd have used a condom. Since she did bring plenty of them, and lube, I can give some credence to that.

I am going forward for 3 month testing (the only sensible thing to do) but am burning up with anxiety and not sleeping properly, I mean, how bad is my risk likely to be?  Information on the web is confusing to say the least, though the more recent published data and meta-analyses do seem to show very low per-contact risk.  Still not no-risk though…  The thought that I might have screwed up my life is all consuming.

Any advice gratefully received, reassurance doubly so.

Thank you,
Rob

[anniebc]

Hi there

No, you weren't at risk, you can rest assured.

Please read our welcome thread and follow the lessons on how HIV is and is not transmitted.


You do not need to test over this incident, but anyone who is sexually active should be having a full STD check up at least once a year, and please remember by agreeing to have unprotected sex you run the risk of a possible infection from all STD's.

Use condoms for anal/vaginal sex at all times,...NO EXCEPTIONS.

Jan