Guess I'm just not worth knowing

[lforsyth]

I got past the bladder infection this week.  I sent an apology to Aunt Rita's Foundation for not being at AID's Walk with no response. I was corresponding with the director last year but he suddenly cut it off.  I'm usually in bed by now and can't be out late like them.

Communication was cut off with no explanation at all. I still stand by my decision about my will but I think that there are other political things going on.  I may be just paranoid but it seems like the Phoenix Gay Community has no need for my support.

[lforsyth]

please don't read this.  I was just feeling sorry for myself.

[weasel]

 Hey I hope you are feeling better !

   I LIKE  knowing you 

             Be well my friend ,
                                        Carl 

[lforsyth]

Thank you Weasel!

I had to get my act together to defend on a webex today the system I created in 1989 and is still living in it's third life.

Huntington Beach decided to not kill it next year for now.  There is no other system that does what this does.

Being an old man with HIV and having to justify myself to my Corporation (BOEING) has done a number on me.

Please don't sell your stock.  I'm tired of seeing it go down.  My Salaried Savings and Retirement is hooked on to it.

[lforsyth]

Erik told me that long term survivors are common. I guess that means a dime a dozen.

I'm dealing with a sociopath and I don't have anyone to stand by me.

[lforsyth]

I watch Joseph every day and Oprah but Ellen is just fluff.

I'm of Scot's, Spanish, German and Ho-Hohokam  decent. Mayflower, Spanish Land Grants and my ancestors where here all along.

[lforsyth]

What I hate is being victimized at work. I was on thing t be told I had t work 12 hour day by my manager but having a 24 YO turn people against me is really bad.

I can live with myself but not with people hating me.

[jkinatl2]

Some people are always going to dislike you. Just like some people will always like you. It's really your choice on which group to concentrate.

I have met and kept some wonderful friends here on AIDSmeds. People I would open my soul to, people who might live a whole planet away from me, but whom I consider close as family. Closer, if you ever got to know my family.

And I am on 'Ignore" by some folks who can't stand my shit.And some people, thought they might not be ignoring me, skip by my messages, and talk shit about me when I do rapse poetic and wistful and thoughtful and philosophical. By the by, haters, I am not always drunk when I do that. Srsly.

Thing is, I could easily latch onto the folks who can't stand me, who probably wish me a shorter life (at least a shorter ONLINE life) and who gleefully wait for the day when I get the Ban Hammer. But that is a HUGE ingredient in a recipe for crazy.

Not the good kind of crazy, either.

So these people hate you. So what? Go OUTSIDE the company, outside your (dis)comfort zone, and find people who value you. Who like you and will respect you and have your back. ProTip: Going on and on about these 20-somethings to strangers is not the way to make yourself likable.

I do not think you will respond to this. Prove me wrong.

I think you have invested too much of your identity in being a victim and being bullied to be brave enough to move away from that paradigm and become a hero to someone, a friend to someone, a source of wisdom and strength and joy to someone.

Prove me wrong.

Or, you know, put me on ignore. Whatevs.

[lforsyth]

We are both experiencing LIFE. Thank you and I hope we all have a good New Year!

I'll end this thread with the knowledge that it's their problem, not mine!

I need to concentrate on my house, my animals and me.

Love, Hug's and Tug's. Forever, Larry

[Jeffreyj]

Great comment, lforthsyth! Now that's the attitude!
jkinatl2- Those who put you on ignore are missing out-there loss. You are one of the brightest, most insightful posters in this place.
Thanks again for a brilliant post!