5 days into being diagnosed

[Irongirl]

Hi All

So This week I went with my guy to the fertility clinic to start treatment. Well on the 29th Dec we had to have our bloods done which we did then only if we got acall back regarding the results then would be a problem. So 12 days later after phoning we make an appointment to start Ivf the nurse calls me in first on my own which I thought was a bit weird but hey I didn't think anything more. I told her my fella can come in with me but she said you may have things you to afraid to say in front of him. I assured her that was not the case. Anyway she then proceeded to tell me that I didn't have any of the hep b/c but I had hiv my Heart sank I cried then had to compose myself as my fella had to come in and have his results. Before he came in she tried to get me to tell him in front of her . I declined and said il do it my way in my time.she then told me that they could no longer provide IVF to me another kick to me. Well it turns out luckily my fella is negative.

I'm actually ok with the diagnosis I have read a lot and I got the most amazing guy ever. But what I'd like to know does anyone know of ivf clinics that help couples with hiv. abroad or in the uk. I looked at kings college hospital they do but because I'm going to be 45 in few months they will only do it with egg donation. I would prefer to use my own eggs.


Any advice would be great.

Ps luckily the scumbag that gave this to me is in prison

[Rosie117]

I'm sorry you're finding yourself in this position, but that is good to hear that you have a supportive partner and you are ok with the diagnosis. I was diagnosed 10/2014 and it was such a shock. I was depressed for a while but have learned to embrace and accept my status (I also, luckily, have a very supportive man in my life who has helped me a lot with this). Why won't the IVF Doctor continue treatment with you? Is that common; meaning can HIV positive women not go through fertility treatments?

[Irongirl]

Hi Rosie117

It's there policy at that fertility clinic. But I have now found one which I'm so happy  about.  I'm actually going to call the old clinic and raise it as a complaint as I feel they have discriminated against my HIV status etc my money was good enough for them before they tested me and got my results. The Things is we are no different to someone with diabetes as a risk in fact being diabetic while pregnant is more of a risk.


Glad to hear you have  a supportive partner

X

[lupetto]

Well you sure are an irongirl as you are so determined and focused even straight after your diagnosis. Hats off to you! I'm sorry about your diagnosis and sorry you were declined treatment on the first clinic. But so great that you had the energy to keep looking and have already found a new place for you guys! I'm wishing you all the best so that your dreams of parenthood will become a reality soon.

That's an interesting question with fertility clinics. The situation has been very similar over here; I think only few months ago it became possible for HIV positive women to have fertility treatment in the public sector. And it's only 1-2 public laboratories that do that in the whole country and a few private ones. They have argued it by some explanations of how the laboratories need to be specific or separate for treating HIV positive people. I've never understood that but your story gave me an inspiration to actually look it up and understand the rationalisation behind it...

Good to hear you are dealing ok with the diagnosis and have a supportive partner. I hope to hear more from you. Welcome aboard!