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Author Topic: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!  (Read 12185 times)

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Offline TIGGER1976

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Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« on: April 02, 2007, 03:16:05 pm »
I am so completely scared. I know what you might tell me, but plz here me out. I am a female who has been in a VERY mongmous relationship for 10 years with another female. I slipped up one night and had oral sex with a guy I had only known for a few weeks. I know very little about him. He stated he only had sex 3 times in his life. All women and all were semi-long relationships. Then he received oral from a guy in college. know what to believe. I straight up asked him if he had any std's even hiv, he told me absolutly not and even asked me what he could do for me to releave my anxiety. I asked him how he knew he was not poz and he told me "because I have not had any symptoms.....) How would he know if he has never put himself in jeopardy what to look for!!! I think he seems a little premiscuos as well. He was not offended, and seemed to be generally honest and did not dwell on the topic like I did. I was very anxious and he was very calm. Over the weeks of my constant panic attacks, I saw my doctor. She did not "suggest" and hiv test but told me to go ahead. That was only 2 1/2 to 3 weeks after the incedent. She told me I was negative for hiv. I am thinking that I tested to early. I never really had any symptoms other than ulcers...but that was not unusual for me. 3 months later (this happened Jan 5th) on March 15th I got a soar throat that lasted a week and a half (that others got) so badly I could not swallow and eat. I ran a fever with it. I have had aches, pais, severe fatigue, no weight loss, no loss in hunger and gastro issues. Can I really trust my results? It was the first bj I have given. I am so worried. At first I was in a total panic. I have never felt this way before in my life. Should I worry? What other diseases can you pass through oral? Also, if I did not have any seroconversion symptoms/illness what would I experience after seroconversion if left untreated IE signs and symptoms of untreated hiv infection? I am having soar throats all of the time now! Along with resp infections! I am sooooo scared! There are little whiteheads that come and go now on my face....(strange) the feeling there is something wrong, constant headaches....help! What do think???!!!! Thank you guys soooooooo much

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I need some advise plz help!!!
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2007, 03:33:30 pm »
Tigger, you are worrying needlessly. Giving oral to a guy is at the way low end of the risk scale, particularly if ejaculation did not take place. The evidence of it being a risk is strictly from  a few anecdotal experiences.

On the other hand there is much more evidence that it's not a risk from longterm studies of both gay & straight sero-discordant couples who had lots of unprotected mutual oral and only protected intercourse. Not a single sero-negative partner became infected.

Your symptoms? Well aside from how anxiety can knock your immune system down and feed into your worst (unfounded) fears, there is nothing in anyway HIV-specific about anything you are reporting.

You can get tested for HIV at anytime from 13 weeks past the incident. Generally we don't even consider giving oral to get tested over. Given your level of anxiety I recommend it simply because because I think you may need that inevitable negative test result to help you to let go of this concern.

It also seems to me that your being in a longterm monogamous lesbian relationship and then having sex with someone else, and in particular a guy, may very well be stirring up a lot of guilt and anxiety for having strayed. If I'm right about that, I suggest you take a good deep breath, accept that incident as a part of your history and let it go. Torturing yourself is not a sign of higher character or a love tribute to your partner.

Get tested. I expect you to come out of this ok.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: I need some advise plz help!!!
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2007, 03:50:46 pm »
Wow that was a super fast response! Thank you for your time and answers. I do believe that going a stray was and is the main reason for all of this, especially since him and I would have not gone any further. Do people usually lie about their serostatus? Is it hard to transmit any disease through this route. I forgot to mention he did not ejaculate...only pre***. I made sure of that! At first I got over it after the initial negative testing. I was happy go lucky then, it came back. It is not as bad as it was at first, but now everytime I get sick, I think I have it. Or something. Maybe chlamydia, Gomorrah, ect. I think that my dr tested me for everything tho. If he had HIV and Chlamydia couldn't he transmit the virus via chlamydia....like the virus piggybacked chlamydia? Thank you so much for your time....I really appreciate the piece of mind....

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I need some advise plz help!!!
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2007, 04:54:42 pm »
Peace of mind is a good thing under any circumstances.

It isn't only a matter of people lying about their HIV status. Often they really don't know it accurately. That's why it's always best to depend upon yourself, and when in doubt for any reason, get tested.

Especially since there was no ejaculation, I certainly expect you to test negative.

Andy Velez

Offline TIGGER1976

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New issue! Help Rapid Rod, Ann and Andy!!!!! PLZ DESPERATE!!
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2007, 03:10:44 pm »
Ok, here is the issue, I had oral sex with a man in Jan of unknown serostatus.....he told me he was disease free then I performs fast fellatio w/o ejaculation in my mouth....some pre seminal fluid. Of course afterwards I was really worried, he was real good in calming me down and was reassuing. I got an hiv/std test from my pcp 2 1/2 3 weeks later. She called me and said all was in the clear. That was January. In March I came down with a soar throat, no pus pockets or anything, but so painful I could not swallow. I ran a slight fever for a day. It went away in a week and my pcp stated it was pharyngitis. Now....two days ago I developed a rash that looked like little pimples at first on one side of my face, now it is all over my face and I have blotchy arms with pain in my left and right arm. Sharp pain. I have not taken anything to get an allergic reaction. Now I have a weird odor in my urine. Help! Could I have been mis-diagnosed or was it too early to test. I am awaiting Monday to see her again, but I am in a total panic!!! I am COMPLETELY scared. So scared I cannot function! PLZ help! Could this be anything!!! I have never experianced anything like this b-4. Now I am itching everywhere!!!! AGGGHHH!!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: New issue! Help Rapid Rod, Ann and Andy!!!!! PLZ DESPERATE!!
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2007, 03:14:32 pm »
Tig,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Nothing you report sounds remotely like anything to do with hiv. It sounds like an allergic reaction to something. If you cannot wait to see your doctor on Monday and the rash gets worse, go to your local emergency room. Whatever is going on won't be due to hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: New issue! Help Rapid Rod, Ann and Andy!!!!! PLZ DESPERATE!!
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2007, 03:17:12 pm »
Thank you Ann! See, that is what I thought but I have not taken anything or touched anything. Not sure what it might be. I know I an naturally anxious.....and when things happen like this suddenly I freak! I hate feeling like this!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: New issue! Help Rapid Rod, Ann and Andy!!!!! PLZ DESPERATE!!
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2007, 03:23:25 pm »
Tigger,

If you hate feeling like that, then maybe you should consider seeing a counselor. There are techniques you can be taught that will help you keep this kind of anxiety under control. Any good counselor would be able to help you learn these techniques. Ask your doctor for a referral on Monday.

I'll say it again, whatever is going on with you won't have anything to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: New issue! Help Rapid Rod, Ann and Andy!!!!! PLZ DESPERATE!!
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2007, 03:26:43 pm »
I might have to do that b-4 I go crazy! I have looked at rahes online but none match mine. It is not all over, just on the face and hands. It is weird. I am worried about Syphyllis as well (I hoped I spelt that right...lol)

Offline TIGGER1976

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................????
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2007, 02:42:13 pm »

Hi there! I have posted on this forum b-4. I need some advise. I talked to you about fellatio-no ejac. Tested at 2 1/2 weeks for hiv/stds...negative. Prolly tested to early. Since then I have had SO many issues happen. They are not caused by stress. Ulcers in mouth, tongue and throat...even after taking Valtrex, a mysterious rash above both elbows (flesh colored) been their for 2 months, dry cough, sore thorat (off and on), tiny pmples everywhere, extreme sharp muscle pain in arms and legs...on my sides, diarreah,gas, headaches, joint pain, general feeling of just yuk, coughing-plegm ect. My doc tells me not to test again. However, I still cannot get over the feeling something is very wrong and also why I am staying sick! One day after the next it is something new....even after hearing the news of not needing to re-test and making myself happy and being carefree, boom something else has come up. I have never had ulcers like this...especially in the throat. I am scared to death and my doc just dimisses it. Help Ann, are these symptoms indicitive of primary hiv? Maybe un-diagnosed? My doc is not an hiv doc. What should I do...I have NEVER been this sick before...ever! It only happened after the fellatio in begining of Jan....b-4 then I was feeling great! I so need your advise....pls. I am at my wits end....thank you so much Ann, you guys are lifesavers!
« Last Edit: May 25, 2007, 03:06:01 pm by TIGGER1976 »

Offline Ann

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Re: ................????
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2007, 03:10:04 pm »
Tigger,

I've merged your threads AGAIN - please read the Welcome Thread like you've been asked to before and get with the program.

Nothing you report sounds remotely like primary hiv infection. If you doctor isn't taking your concerns seriously, maybe it's time to find a new doctor. We cannot diagnose anything here, you must see a doctor face to face for that.

Please re-read your entire thread. Our answers are not going to change.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: ................????
« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2007, 03:35:46 pm »
Sorry, I was not paying attention to the threads. The reason I ask is because I am getting conflicting info from other sites on primary infection. I am very scared, and I know you cannot diagnose....but I was curious if people that are in their primary hiv stages experianced anything like I have....or is it totally different? Ulcers I thought were something that was an indicator....sorry Ann for my posting ignorance...I really do appreciate you guys being here, it is just that I am very afraid of the failure to realize what I was doing at the time could put me in jeopardy...I mean why should I b seperate from the others....yes hiv is hard to get...but it happens. See, so in so has it, you may have it....but it only took that once....whos to say I am any different. I have not had any type of male vag sex since 1994.....in Jan I did the dumbest thing in my life and I would do anything to go back and change it......I do not think I have ever been so scared in my entire life. It is hard to have someone listen to you with no equivications.....my doc is great, but she thinks it is all in my head. I cleared my head....got happy, stayed that way and then I am falling apart.....I am so very alone on this....I am sorry if I am repetitve....but I only have one life, and russian roulette is not a game I choose to play......thank you Ann, if it were not for people with your knowledge and willingness to share it with others, people like me would forever be in the dark.....

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: ................????
« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2007, 04:49:55 pm »
Tigger,

All the answers you need about HIV are, as Goderator Ann said, in this thread. They're also in our Welcome Thread.

Whatever is going on with you, it isn't HIV. I think you should take Ann's advice to you of April 7th and seek the assistance of a mental health professional. We are not able to provide you with the support you need.

Once again, you do not have HIV infection.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ................????
« Reply #13 on: May 25, 2007, 06:54:07 pm »
You need to stop indulging in going to other websites. HIV is not your issue but I can absolutely promise you that if you keep surfing the web you are going to definitely find sites and people who are going to give you non-information that will feed your worst fears.

Go ahead and get tested again if you need to. You're just going to test negative again, but maybe that will help you.

At this point the issue seems to be more about feelings than facts. Of course if you have any troubling symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. But as Ann and Matty have told you, it's looking like it's time for you to see a counselor or other mental health professional to help you sort out what's going on emotionally.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Really.

Andy Velez

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: ................????
« Reply #14 on: May 25, 2007, 11:05:22 pm »
Guys, thank u so much for ur input. I am so grateful. I guess it just scares the $hit outta me that I have been feeling like major dog-poo now for 3 months....I am still scared. I will test and once I get the diagnosis, I will put it behind me. You know, there is a reason God instilled such knowledge in some, and tho u are stricken with this awful disease, you use it as a teaching tool for the benefit of others, not huddling up with self pitty and dying, but surviving and helping others to survive. Here on earth, we call them angels........

Thank you Andy, you are truly a gift to many-many people whom would have no where else to turn.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ................????
« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2007, 09:16:34 am »
You're welcome. Now, if you really want to thank us get yourself some professional help to deal with this situation.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline TIGGER1976

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Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2007, 01:15:26 am »
Guys!

I tested negative at the 6 month mark as of Thursday! Andy and Ann I owe u much gratitude for putting up with I am sure was annoying and nagging questions. I thought I KNEW I had HIV....I could have SWORN I had a latent infection.....thru all of the crap that I was experiencing....it was my mind causing my body to b sick! I waisted 6 months of my life on this...6 months! I wore my own immune system down! I am so grateful to God and to all that helped me get thru this. Everyone...for ur own sake....don't let it ruin ur life....the mind can play horrible and convincing tricks on u. Take control of ur mind.....don't let it control u. Know the facts...test just to get it off of your back...and move on. I am more then certain u will b just fine. Andy and Ann KNOW what they are talking about and the are brilliant! Please listen to them....they will always lead u in the right direction.  ;D

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2007, 03:38:45 am »
Wonderful Tigger.

Nevertheless why could this news of your predictably negative result not have gone in your original thread?

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2007, 05:13:34 am »
Tigger,

While you're busy taking control of your mind, please remind it about keeping all your additional thoughts or comments in one thread. I've merged your new thread yet again. Get with the program!

It's no big surprise that you tested negative. Here's what you need to remember to stay hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline TIGGER1976

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Oh I am soooo scared pls help!!!
« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2008, 05:57:48 pm »
Hi everyone...! Well a few days ago I met up with a guy I have not seen since high school. We drank a bit..and ended up in bed. I asked him to use protection and we did. We never really did much to much at all because he went "limp" due to drinking a wee too much, but at first he did penetrate and it was protected the whole time from what I rememeber and what he tells me. Well, he never ejaculated and once the condom slipped off but I don't remember him ever being inside of me while it was off. It did not last long and he told me he never ejaculated and I never noticed anything either. We "really" never finished and I left. Well, I have felt really very guilty and asked him about his "status". He told me he does not have many sexual encounters and he is not a risk taker and has not been sick. He was previously married and then had a 2 year relationship that ended 2 yrs ago and has not been with anyone since. Ever since that night which was 3 nights ago, I have had a sore throat, itchy crotch and crack and just a since of unease. Can anyone tell me how high of a risk I took? I know I will get tested just in case....and I cannot for 2-3 weeks...but did I take a huge risk...? What are the numbers? Thanks so much!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oh I am soooo scared pls help!!!
« Reply #20 on: November 07, 2008, 06:04:08 pm »
Return to your orginal thread.

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: Oh I am soooo scared pls help!!!
« Reply #21 on: November 07, 2008, 06:10:11 pm »
How do I do that and how do I post there?? Thanks!

Offline RapidRod

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Offline TIGGER1976

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SO WORRIED-NEW ISSUE PLS HELP!!!
« Reply #23 on: November 07, 2008, 06:17:27 pm »
Well a few days ago I met up with a guy I have not seen since high school. We drank a bit..and ended up in bed. I asked him to use protection and we did. We never really did much to much at all because he went "limp" due to drinking a wee too much, but at first he did penetrate and it was protected the whole time from what I rememeber and what he tells me. Well, he never ejaculated and once the condom slipped off but I don't remember him ever being inside of me while it was off. It did not last long and he told me he never ejaculated and I never noticed anything either. We "really" never finished and I left. Well, I have felt really very guilty and asked him about his "status". He told me he does not have many sexual encounters and he is not a risk taker and has not been sick. He was previously married and then had a 2 year relationship that ended 2 yrs ago and has not been with anyone since. Ever since that night which was 3 nights ago, I have had a sore throat, itchy crotch and crack and just a since of unease. Can anyone tell me how high of a risk I took? I know I will get tested just in case....and I cannot for 2-3 weeks...but did I take a huge risk...? What are the numbers? Thanks so much!

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: Oh I am soooo scared pls help!!!
« Reply #24 on: November 07, 2008, 06:18:49 pm »
Thanks Rapid Rod, however it is telling me to "start a new topic" because my others are past 60 days...

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #25 on: November 07, 2008, 06:21:03 pm »
starscream76, the reply from me is not going to change.

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #26 on: November 07, 2008, 06:23:36 pm »
So I had a very low risk encounter with this new episode? Thanks!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #27 on: November 07, 2008, 06:27:18 pm »
No where did I say you had a low risk. You asked the question at Medhelp and my reply was.
Quote
If you had unprotected sex you can obtain your conclusive negative test result 3 months post exposure.

Remember saying this?
Quote
he did penitrate at first....but he started "going down" as it progressed. WE tried to get him back up and it did not work. He never ejec at we always had a condom. Once it slipped off and I don't remember if he entered me without it...but I do not believe so......
« Last Edit: November 07, 2008, 06:32:32 pm by RapidRod »

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #28 on: November 07, 2008, 06:28:40 pm »
Well see it was protected....I asked him today if he ever took the condom off (which I don't think he did) and he told me not at all. So....I am still scared however..... :-\

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #29 on: November 07, 2008, 06:33:37 pm »
Yes I do, then I called him and asked him if that ever happened and he told me not at all, it was on the whole time.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #30 on: November 07, 2008, 06:35:15 pm »
Then that means you didn't have a risk, correct?

Offline TIGGER1976

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #31 on: November 07, 2008, 06:36:09 pm »
Well I certainly hope so....! I believe him....but u know guys....

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #32 on: November 07, 2008, 06:38:26 pm »
Now go back and reread all the other threads that you have here and reread all the replies that was given to you.

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 6,185
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Hey, Andy, Ann...All AIDSMEDS folks....!
« Reply #33 on: November 07, 2008, 06:46:44 pm »
No this is NOT and HIV situation, haven't you read any of the replies you have been given, I think you need to read the lessons here on how HIV is and is not transmitted.

Jan
« Last Edit: November 07, 2008, 06:48:40 pm by anniebc »
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Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

 


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