POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Nadine on June 29, 2006, 07:03:21 am
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Well, next week will be one year since we found out my hubby is positive. What a year this has been! It hasn't been a particularly bad year, just life changing. His health has been good, his moods, well, that has been up and down. This past week has been really rough on him. I feel so helpless when he's down. I just try to be here for him whenever he needs me.
We think he has been kind of in denial and maybe now it's hitting him. He never really talks about HIV much, but he has been this past week and that is good. I tell him all the time to visit these forums; they have been a sanity saver for me. I have learned so much from everyone here, the good, the bad and the ugly. Mostly though, I try to focus on the good.
Next week we will be going to see his doctor, maybe it's time for him to get a little something to take the edge off. He has never missed work this past year due to HIV and not feeling well. This past week he has missed 2 days because he was not mentally able to function. Yesterday and today though, he is feeling pretty good. I am glad that he realizes he might need a little help, as he has always been against antidepressants.
As many of you know, Rodney & I have become very good friends this past year. I don't know what I would do sometimes without him. I just wanted to thank him, publicly, for everything that he has done for me. I love you Rodney!
We are on vacation again next week, I'm sure the time away from the stresses at work will do him good. We don't have much planned, just gonna stick close to home. I have some landscaping projects that I will get him involved with :D I think one day we will pack a picnic lunch and go enjoy nature for a day.
Well, thanks for listening. I feel truly blessed to be here in this family.
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Hello Nadine,
It's hard to believe that a year has gone by. I remember when you joined this site ! I am glad that the both of you, are receiving the much needed support. I wish this site was around 20 years ago !! We had to go about things so much differently back then.
Your husband could very well be going through periods of denial. In the past 20 years I have had that denial stage take over me on 3 occasions. I remember that first year, not being able to watch or read anything dealing with HIV or Aids. It was too much for me a t that time. Probably the worst time, was most certainly within the first year of diagnosis. There will be better days ahead. I do believe that eventually your husband will come around, and start talking about HIV more often...Could take some time though ! It's great, that you have developed a good friendship with Rodney !!
Have fun with the landscaping projects !! and have a great vacation also. It's time to try to unwind !!
Take care of yourself-------Ray
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Nadine,even if I was here a year ago when yo first joined I didn't get the pleasure of knowing you better until the past couple months.I am glad you are here part of this wonderful family we have here. Glad to hear Brian is having better days. Enjoy the 4th of July and your vacation.
Hugs
Jeff
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Nadine
A year goes by fast doesn't it? Hard to believe sometimes, especially when you look back and remember that a year ago you were likely thinking hubby's life might end soon. Amazing, the journey you've been on.
I think the special friendship you developed with Rodney is great. He is a very special man in my opinion.
RAB
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Nadine, whether you can see it or not, you and your husband are doing very well. You've gotten through a very challenging time this first year after his diagnosis.
Keep talking and simply, openly and directly with each other as you can. I don't mean just about HIV. Maintaining intimacy includes all different kinds of things, and no matter how well you know each other, sometimes what might otherwise be be ordinary things to handle can become huge.
Work at keeping things simple. Also, make sure you do things which you enjoy individually and with each other.
Keep us posted on how it's going and congrats on making it through this first year.
Cheers,
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I love good news, and yours is good!
When he gets down, please try to remind him that this disease is not static, and that when we are going through some bad days, they inevitably turn around after a short time. What does often happen, is we sometimes get stuck in negative stuff, and then it becomes harder and harder to see the good days when they come along. We have to focus on the good times.
In Love and Support.
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Nadine..Thanks so much for your post. Since im in the same situation as you are, I always look forward to anything you post.
Its only been (almost) 2 months for us since finding out hubby is HIV+ but he sounds so much like your hubby. He wont talk about his HIV and when i bring it up like telling him things i have learned here he will listen and then change the subject really fast. I know its still all new to him and i wonder if it has hit him yet.
I hope you both have a wonderful vacation doing landscaping projects together. Sometimes the best vacations are staying home spending time together.
Hugs
Teresa
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Hi Nadine
Wow, time really does fly doesn't it? Your husband is very lucky to have you, and so are we !
Hugs,
Alan