Anxiety with risk

[mreko]

Hello,

I think I already know the answers really but my anxiety is really starting to take control so I hope it's okay that I explain the situation, and where I currently am.

• I've lived in the UK all my life
• I'm not the most sexually active of people, until recently it had been around a year or more since I had any sort of interaction and I had been fully tested to that point and across the board negative.

I met someone online, and after a month of chatting we decided to meet.

• She was originally from Belgium, but now lives in the UK
• She is a therapist for mental health with young adults, and holds a lot of sexual health classes (i.e. correctly using condoms, educating on stds etc.)

2nd April - 3rd April: We spent the night together, and engaged in sexual intercourse. It was protected to start, unfortunately it was starting to cause her pain and we had no lubricant to hand so we discussed and decided to remove the protection to continue. I never reached climax, but it was on and off intercourse for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason she decided to completely cut me off the following day. Which triggered my health anxieties which I struggle with a lot.

• 10 days after the 3rd, I decided to go for a instant test (which from my understanding was "HIV antibody and p24 antigen test, DUO"). This result came back negative.
• I managed to get in contact with her, explained my health anxieties and she had told me prior to us being together she was clean - which I know in general, you shouldn't trust anyone but I can't think of any reason she would lie especially given her job.
• 16/04/21: I went to my local GUM clinic to test for the rest of STDs (decided against the HIV test due to the negative one I had received prior thinking it was valid).

The good news was that today (while writing this) I have received my the all clear via a text from the GUM clinic so that made me feel a lot better.

However, I realised that in my anxiety made me not clearly read that the instant test is accurate after 28 days, so I've booked in again for another test after this timeframe has passed.
I wanted to know, even though the instant test I did prior was outside the window, can I use it as a good indicator that everything should be okay after 28 days?

In general, I do understand that although there was a risk with unprotected intercourse that the chances I have caught HIV are essentially 0. I'm a very logical guy and I try and apply it to this, but my anxiety is just a beast of it's own and all logic goes out the window when it takes hold.
I have recently contacted my therapist because I think it's best I return to doing CBT with her to deal with the anxiety I get around my health.

Thank you for anyone who has taken the time to read this and I'm sorry if I have I have wasted time with this post, but I wasn't sure where else I could ask and there appears to be a lot of support via this forum.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya.

she had told me prior to us being together she was clean

Glad to hear that she washed ... nothing to do with HIV though and living with HIV does not make us dirty.  Anyhow, past test results and whatever she claims is irrelevant. 

The only relevant part of the post was you had condomless intercourse. Test to confirm your HIV status with a blood-drawn HIV antibodies test at 6 weeks post-incident, a negative result at that time will rarely ever change. If you wish you can re-test at 3 months post-incident for peace of mind.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your health care provider about taking PrEP going forward as an additional layer of HIV protection.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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[mreko]

I didn't mean to suggest anyone living with HIV was dirty, far from that. When I said clean I just meant negative tests prior. Sorry if any offense was caused.

Thank you for the response.



 

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome.