POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: numbersguy82 on December 12, 2010, 08:54:52 am
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Hey All,
I hope everyone is well and enjoying this Holiday Season. You know there has been so much debate as of late on this site regarding some of the younger or newer members feeling out of place or even ridiculed by some of the older members. This isn't what this post is about, but I hope in retrospect we can all learn from one another new and LTS alike.
I was at the Galleria Mall yesterday with a guy I have been seeing and we stopped for lunch in the food court. Crowded and extremely noisy we found a table nestled between an elderly woman and a younger family. The lady sitting alone immediately made eye contact and smiled. She was probably in her mid 70's, using a walking cane, and wearing a leather newsboy type hat which looked like it came from Ramrod. Beginning to eat we struck up a conversation with her. Her name was Fran and she had recently lost her husband. I'll admit I was less interested in her and more so in my surroundings as my ADD was going crazy in such a busy place. However she and Chris struck up a conversation right away. After trading pleasantries and introductions she just blurted out "You know I used to live in San Francisco. I lost so many close friends to that damned AIDS". Ofcourse I was no longer a casual participant in this and my attention was all hers. She proceeded to tell us of her wilder days with her gays. How it used to be and how easy we all have it today because of what they went through. The topic of HIV/AIDS was so raw because I had never heard it first hand in person before. She spoke of the epidemic, the panic it caused, stories of people being kicked off public transport for having it, and so on. She reminisced about the friends that she had lost, and how painful it was to lose so many and at such a young age. We unfortunately had an appointment to make, but after nearly an hour we had to leave. I gave her a hug and thanked her for sharing so much with us. On the ride home Chris babbled about not giving money to the Salvation Army volunteer while all I could think about was how amazing that woman was.
My point is so many elderly are alone not only this time of year, but all year round. I lost my mother this year and it's extremely difficult to know that she felt alone at all during her last years. We can learn so much from EVERYONE in our society. It's a shame that so many just discount the elderly and never give them a chance to share their wisdom and experiences with us. I know that Fran sincerely touched me yesterday. I wish I had given her my card and offered to take her to her next doctors appointment (She had double knee replacement). I think I'll go back there next week to see if I can find her again :)
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I agree with what you're saying. I enjoy hanging out with the elderly. Once I'm more settled I think I'll look into volunteering along those lines.
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We lived in Hot Springs Arkansas for years, which where many go to retire.
Most my friends there were the senior citizens. Oh the stories some could tell....
Hang with them if you get the chance, it will be mutually beneficial.
Hoover
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We can learn so much from EVERYONE in our society.
I totally agree. In my mini-bio on the Aboutus (http://www.aidsmeds.com/aboutus.shtml) page, I have what I guess you could call my motto - "All the world is a classroom and we are both student and teacher." It's my own take on a similar saying first coined by Shakespeare. Not only can we all learn something from each other, we all have something to teach as well.
The area where I live has many elderly as there are two areas of sheltered accommodation on my housing estate. On the other side of the main road there is a grocery store and I often come across elderly people carrying their shopping back home and I help every chance I get. I'm often rewarded with stories about their lives and yes, it's very rewarding. Old people rock! :)
I hope you find her again and can help her out. But even if you don't find her again, at least you probably made her day by simply giving her your time and attention. That's priceless.
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awe, that's a sweet story.
I was at the Galleria Mall yesterday with a guy I have been seeing and we stopped for lunch in the food court.
and yes, I see you are stepping out on me once again. Sigh. just cant keep you youngins in line.
-Will
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awe, that's a sweet story.
and yes, I see you are stepping out on me once again. Sigh. just cant keep you youngins in line.
-Will
Ummmm.... Big D you know I would never step out on you... I told u about Chris already :P Remember evil softballer. Besides you will be all mine soon enough ;) Is it Feb yet???
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Ummmm.... Big D you know I would never step out on you... I told u about Chris already :P Remember evil softballer. Besides you will be all mine soon enough ;) Is it Feb yet???
I'll bring my softball glove so you will be interested in me.
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Which of you will forego wearing high heels that weekend?
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I will often talk to total strangers making my friends mad that I'm holding them up. Sounds like you had a great discussion. I'm just wondering why you think HIV/AIDS came up? That is so strange that she would just come up with that topic with strangers. But, good for her.
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I will often talk to total strangers making my friends mad that I'm holding them up.
Your friends are not mad because you're holding them up. Probably they get annoyed because by speaking with total strangers you're breaching a social norm known as "civil indifference".
MtD
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Your friends are not mad because you're holding them up. Probably they get annoyed because by speaking with total strangers you're breaching a social norm known as "civil indifference".
MtD
Sad, but probably true.
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I will often talk to total strangers making my friends mad that I'm holding them up. Sounds like you had a great discussion. I'm just wondering why you think HIV/AIDS came up? That is so strange that she would just come up with that topic with strangers. But, good for her.
In my experience, I have found the elderly don't have a filter. She saw two nice young men together and probably thought about all the nice young men she knew and lost. I like that about the elderly, no filter.
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She sounds like a groovin' old lady! ;) I'm glad she found you two to talk to; it sounds like it was something that she really wanted to talk about.